Homestuck
A young teen stands in a bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 26th of August, 2017, is this young teen’s birthday. Though it was fifteen years ago she was given life, it is only today they will be given a name!
What will the name of this young teen be?
Kaeden: Open message.
A young teen stands in a bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 26th of August, 2017, is this young teen’s birthday. Though it was fifteen years ago she was given life, it is only today they will be given a name!
What will the name of this young teen be?
Enter name.
WILLYWART DE POOH
Try again, jerk.
WILLYWART DE POOH
Try again, jerk.
Try again.
KAEDEN LEE
KAEDEN LEE
Examine room.
Your name is KAEDEN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of SPELL BOOKS are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for MYTHOLOGY. You like to practice your magic even though NOTHING SEEMS TO HAPPEN. You have a fondness for ROCK ORCHESTRA, and are an aspiring ARTIST. You also like to play in the PARK GARDEN sometimes.
What will you do?
Your name is KAEDEN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of SPELL BOOKS are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for MYTHOLOGY. You like to practice your magic even though NOTHING SEEMS TO HAPPEN. You have a fondness for ROCK ORCHESTRA, and are an aspiring ARTIST. You also like to play in the PARK GARDEN sometimes.
What will you do?
Kaeden: Quickly retrieve herbs from floor.
Your HERBS are on your WOODEN DESK, de Pooh!
Your HERBS are on your WOODEN DESK, de Pooh!
Remove ICE CREAM from WOODEN DESK.
Out of sympathy for Kaeden’s perceived lack of arms, you pick up the mug full of ICE CREAM for her and put it on their BED.
Out of sympathy for Kaeden’s perceived lack of arms, you pick up the mug full of ICE CREAM for her and put it on their BED.
Kaeden: Quickly retrieve charm from WOODEN CHEST.
You retrieve your HEX CHARM from the chest. You use this JUST IN CASE. You CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though… There are other items in the chest.
You retrieve your HEX CHARM from the chest. You use this JUST IN CASE. You CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though… There are other items in the chest.
Kaeden: Examine contents of chest.
In here you keep an array of magical mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a WICKED WITCH or a CUNNING HOAX.
You are neither of these things.
Among the ARTIFACTS are: TWO (2) HEX CHARMS [ONE (1) CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], ONE (1) PAIR OF ENCHANTED WANDS, ONE (1) TRAINING SWORD, ONE (1) AMETHYST CRYSTAL, ONE (1) PAIR OF COLORED CANDLES, SEVERAL (~) TIED KNOTS, SEVERAL (~) EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS, and ONE (1) COPY OF DEBORAH LIPP’S THE ELEMENTS OF RITUAL, and ONE (1) COPY OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE”, BY J.K. ROWLING.
Some of this stuff may come in handy at some point. For now, you decide to just take the EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS.
In here you keep an array of magical mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a WICKED WITCH or a CUNNING HOAX.
You are neither of these things.
Among the ARTIFACTS are: TWO (2) HEX CHARMS [ONE (1) CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], ONE (1) PAIR OF ENCHANTED WANDS, ONE (1) TRAINING SWORD, ONE (1) AMETHYST CRYSTAL, ONE (1) PAIR OF COLORED CANDLES, SEVERAL (~) TIED KNOTS, SEVERAL (~) EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS, and ONE (1) COPY OF DEBORAH LIPP’S THE ELEMENTS OF RITUAL, and ONE (1) COPY OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE”, BY J.K. ROWLING.
Some of this stuff may come in handy at some point. For now, you decide to just take the EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS.
Kaeden: Captchalogue containers.
You stow the EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS on one of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX.
You still aren't totally sure what that means, but you are starting to get the hang of the vernacular at least.
You have two empty CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS remaining.
You stow the EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS on one of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX.
You still aren't totally sure what that means, but you are starting to get the hang of the vernacular at least.
You have two empty CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS remaining.
Kaeden: Equip charm.
You aren't totally sure if "EQUIP" is a verb copasetic with the abstract behavioral medium in which you dwell, but you give it a try anyway.
Unfortunately, you cannot access the HEX CHARM! Their card is underneath the one you just used to captchalogue the EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS. You will have to use the containers first in order to access the charm. But this is probably unadvisable, since… well… glass plus hard floor would equal… yeah, no.
Your SYLLADEX'S FETCH MODUS is currently dictated by the logic of a STACK DATA STRUCTURE. You never really liked this data structure and the fact that you still haven’t found your real one is puzzling and mildly irritating.
But with any hope, perhaps you will be able to rediscover your wonderful, practical FETCH MODI for your SYLLADEX with a little bit of good luck.
You aren't totally sure if "EQUIP" is a verb copasetic with the abstract behavioral medium in which you dwell, but you give it a try anyway.
Unfortunately, you cannot access the HEX CHARM! Their card is underneath the one you just used to captchalogue the EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS. You will have to use the containers first in order to access the charm. But this is probably unadvisable, since… well… glass plus hard floor would equal… yeah, no.
Your SYLLADEX'S FETCH MODUS is currently dictated by the logic of a STACK DATA STRUCTURE. You never really liked this data structure and the fact that you still haven’t found your real one is puzzling and mildly irritating.
But with any hope, perhaps you will be able to rediscover your wonderful, practical FETCH MODI for your SYLLADEX with a little bit of good luck.
Kaeden: Examine La Lune painting.
Is it even possible to get any more cool than that? You really doubt it. This painting was one of your wisest purchases.
There is a nice spot on the wall next to it. You've been meaning to hang another painting there soon...
Is it even possible to get any more cool than that? You really doubt it. This painting was one of your wisest purchases.
There is a nice spot on the wall next to it. You've been meaning to hang another painting there soon...
Kaeden: Read note on desk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
This note is rich with the aromas of EXPENSIVE AND SUBTLE PERFUMES. Beside the note is a QUARTZ CRYSTAL.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
This note is rich with the aromas of EXPENSIVE AND SUBTLE PERFUMES. Beside the note is a QUARTZ CRYSTAL.
Kaeden: Take crystal.
This is just what you needed! The old man really came through this time.
And now, to start.
This is just what you needed! The old man really came through this time.
And now, to start.
Kaeden: Acquire lemon juice/sugar mixture and water. They will come in handy.
You find the items you need on your WOODEN DESK. How convenient! Or, no. You were prepared for this day, after all. You first place the LEMON JUICE/SUGAR MIX into your SYLLADEX.
But now all of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS are full. You wonder what will happen if you try to take the WATER?
You guess it doesn't hurt to try.
You find the items you need on your WOODEN DESK. How convenient! Or, no. You were prepared for this day, after all. You first place the LEMON JUICE/SUGAR MIX into your SYLLADEX.
But now all of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS are full. You wonder what will happen if you try to take the WATER?
You guess it doesn't hurt to try.
Kaeden: Take water.
You captchalogue the WATER into the top card, and push all the ARTIFACTS down a card.
The HEX CHARM is pushed entirely out of the deck!!!
…Oh well. You’re already wearing a charm anyway. But you probably don't want to do that again, unless you want to drop the EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS and make a bloody mess of broken glass shards.
In any case, you now feel like you have gathered enough things to get down to business and do some really important stuff. The next thing you do will probably be exceptionally meaningful.
You captchalogue the WATER into the top card, and push all the ARTIFACTS down a card.
The HEX CHARM is pushed entirely out of the deck!!!
…Oh well. You’re already wearing a charm anyway. But you probably don't want to do that again, unless you want to drop the EMPTY GLASS CONTAINERS and make a bloody mess of broken glass shards.
In any case, you now feel like you have gathered enough things to get down to business and do some really important stuff. The next thing you do will probably be exceptionally meaningful.
Kaeden: Howl at the nonexistent moon and pee on your bed.
This is the dumbest idea you've had in weeks!!!
STUPID STUPID STUPID.
And yet the ruffled sheets of your bed…
It beckons.
This is the dumbest idea you've had in weeks!!!
STUPID STUPID STUPID.
And yet the ruffled sheets of your bed…
It beckons.
Kaeden: Combine the lemon juice/sugar mixture and water.
You MERGE the top two cards.
The LEMON JUICE/SUGAR MIX and WATER are now captchalogued on the same card (and cup!) and can be used together.
You MERGE the top two cards.
The LEMON JUICE/SUGAR MIX and WATER are now captchalogued on the same card (and cup!) and can be used together.
Kaeden: Use crystal on lemon/sugar/water mixture.
First, you captchalogue the QUARTZ CRYSTAL. You then use the LEMON/SUGAR/WATER IN A CUP card IN CONJUNCTION with the card above it.
First, you captchalogue the QUARTZ CRYSTAL. You then use the LEMON/SUGAR/WATER IN A CUP card IN CONJUNCTION with the card above it.
Kaeden: Leave potion on windowsill.
You place the potion on the windowsill next to your bed, right next to the rosemary.
It's glorious. Exactly what you wanted. Best of all, in ten minutes, you’ll have the greatest birthday ever.
You place the potion on the windowsill next to your bed, right next to the rosemary.
It's glorious. Exactly what you wanted. Best of all, in ten minutes, you’ll have the greatest birthday ever.
Kaeden: Examine calendar.
You've marked your birthday, the 26th of August. Another day you marked was supposed to be the arrival date for the highly touted SBURB BETA LAUNCH.
It's been three days already. It's starting to become a sore subject with you.
You've marked your birthday, the 26th of August. Another day you marked was supposed to be the arrival date for the highly touted SBURB BETA LAUNCH.
It's been three days already. It's starting to become a sore subject with you.
Kaeden: Eat ice cream.
You are actually quite full already!!! You've been eating ice cream all day. And you have no intention of clogging your SYLLADEX with it either. The ICE CREAM stays put for now.
You hear a notice from your LAPTOP. Someone is messaging you.
You are actually quite full already!!! You've been eating ice cream all day. And you have no intention of clogging your SYLLADEX with it either. The ICE CREAM stays put for now.
You hear a notice from your LAPTOP. Someone is messaging you.
Kaeden: Examine incoming message.
You pull up to your LAPTOP. This is where you spend most of your time. You decorated your desktop with some rather pretty WALLPAPER which you made yourself. You are really proud of it.
Your desktop is also littered with various WICCAN RITUAL FILES. You are not the best at applicable magic… sometimes you wonder why you even bother with it…
…Never mind that!
Your PESTERCHUM application is flashing. Someone is trying to get in touch with you.
You pull up to your LAPTOP. This is where you spend most of your time. You decorated your desktop with some rather pretty WALLPAPER which you made yourself. You are really proud of it.
Your desktop is also littered with various WICCAN RITUAL FILES. You are not the best at applicable magic… sometimes you wonder why you even bother with it…
…Never mind that!
Your PESTERCHUM application is flashing. Someone is trying to get in touch with you.
Kaeden: Open Pesterchum.
Only one of your CHUMS is logged in, and sent you a message.
Only one of your CHUMS is logged in, and sent you a message.
Kaeden: Open message.
It is the 26th of August, 2017 and a young teen stands in her room, doing absolutely nothing with her time.
Why don't we give this teen a name?
Why don't we give this teen a name?
Enter Name.
THEODORE BUTTFONDLER
Wrong, try again dumbass.
THEODORE BUTTFONDLER
Wrong, try again dumbass.
Try Again.
ALICE DURAND
Much better.
ALICE DURAND
Much better.
Examine Room.
Your name is ALICE and you are as already stated doing ABSOLUTELY nothing with your life. At this point of time. You live in a French Chateau in the offskirts of Paris, how fancy of you. You have an obsession with DARK DISNEY, CRYPTIDS, and TEMPORAL QUANTUM PHYSICS, as well as FATE BASED MAGICS like tarot cards or crystal ball readings, and clocks. Loads of clocks and pocketwatches, and other clock like memorabilia, you also enjoy playing your CELLO that sits daintly in the corner, Your room is filled to the brim with GOTHIC VICTORIAN decore and ALICE IN WONDERLAND memorabilia, as well as a LARGE CHART filled with nonsense blabber of theories towards THE UNSUAL and MYSTERIOUS mishaps of the world. You also have a lovely set of RAPIERS hanging over your Lilac Gothic Victorian Bed. You look over to your Cello again.
Your name is ALICE and you are as already stated doing ABSOLUTELY nothing with your life. At this point of time. You live in a French Chateau in the offskirts of Paris, how fancy of you. You have an obsession with DARK DISNEY, CRYPTIDS, and TEMPORAL QUANTUM PHYSICS, as well as FATE BASED MAGICS like tarot cards or crystal ball readings, and clocks. Loads of clocks and pocketwatches, and other clock like memorabilia, you also enjoy playing your CELLO that sits daintly in the corner, Your room is filled to the brim with GOTHIC VICTORIAN decore and ALICE IN WONDERLAND memorabilia, as well as a LARGE CHART filled with nonsense blabber of theories towards THE UNSUAL and MYSTERIOUS mishaps of the world. You also have a lovely set of RAPIERS hanging over your Lilac Gothic Victorian Bed. You look over to your Cello again.
Play The Cello.
No way! You can't do that right now because as you can see you are a VERY important person right now, what silly nonsense to stop and just play your cello. No right now you need to RETRIVE YOUR ARMS. You never know when your brother will attack you, or worse, a creepy monster hiding in the forest that surronds your chateau
No way! You can't do that right now because as you can see you are a VERY important person right now, what silly nonsense to stop and just play your cello. No right now you need to RETRIVE YOUR ARMS. You never know when your brother will attack you, or worse, a creepy monster hiding in the forest that surronds your chateau
Retrive Arms.
No not the arms that are attatched to your body you moron! The arms that are DAINTLY HANGING OVER YOUR BED. You know, YOUR SWORDS?
No not the arms that are attatched to your body you moron! The arms that are DAINTLY HANGING OVER YOUR BED. You know, YOUR SWORDS?
Retrive SWORDS.
You retrive your RIGHTEOUS SET OF RAPIERS. Your brother bought you these a long time ago, you still do not know why he did but boy are you glad he did. After you entered your first FENCING COMPETITION at such a young age of 6 he's sprung traps of weird CONTRAPTIONS upon you, which you had to strife your way out of. Keeps you on your toes you guess.
You retrive your RIGHTEOUS SET OF RAPIERS. Your brother bought you these a long time ago, you still do not know why he did but boy are you glad he did. After you entered your first FENCING COMPETITION at such a young age of 6 he's sprung traps of weird CONTRAPTIONS upon you, which you had to strife your way out of. Keeps you on your toes you guess.
Examine Alice In Wonderland Poster
Ah yes, your most PRIZED POSSESSION you don't remember how you got this, but you do know you stare at this thing for hours upon hours on end. Not really, you're pretty bored of it now. Moving on.
Ah yes, your most PRIZED POSSESSION you don't remember how you got this, but you do know you stare at this thing for hours upon hours on end. Not really, you're pretty bored of it now. Moving on.
Retrive Your MYSTERIOUS BOTTLES
Yes! You chatalouge the mysterious bottles that are sitting on your computer into your Pocket Watch Capture Chatalouge. The bottles are clear with a dark blackish liquid inside, with a tag hanging gently from the neck saying Drink Me. Of course you know what's in the bottle, it's your own little concoction that tastes like Coke-A-Cola. (Which because it is.) You might be addicted to it. Addicted to Coke. Ha.
Yes! You chatalouge the mysterious bottles that are sitting on your computer into your Pocket Watch Capture Chatalouge. The bottles are clear with a dark blackish liquid inside, with a tag hanging gently from the neck saying Drink Me. Of course you know what's in the bottle, it's your own little concoction that tastes like Coke-A-Cola. (Which because it is.) You might be addicted to it. Addicted to Coke. Ha.
Open Your Computer.
Now that you have freed your computer from the impending hell of the bottles that had once sat upon it you open up your laptop to a Password Protected Program that your brother designed, called the Rabbit Hole Program. It's a finish the quote this time. Thank goodness.
“It's no use going back to yesterday, because__
You type in the awnser
I was a different person then.”
You finally open up your laptop to it's homepage with such a lovely wallpaper, decorated wonderfully with orderly piles of documents placed alphabetically. You open up your Pesterchum and see you have one Pester available. Luckily it's your friend who's having a birthday today. You should message her.
Now that you have freed your computer from the impending hell of the bottles that had once sat upon it you open up your laptop to a Password Protected Program that your brother designed, called the Rabbit Hole Program. It's a finish the quote this time. Thank goodness.
“It's no use going back to yesterday, because__
You type in the awnser
I was a different person then.”
You finally open up your laptop to it's homepage with such a lovely wallpaper, decorated wonderfully with orderly piles of documents placed alphabetically. You open up your Pesterchum and see you have one Pester available. Luckily it's your friend who's having a birthday today. You should message her.
Message Your Friend.
crypticInsight has begun pestering okaeMagican
CI: Bonjour mon ami, I hope your day is going well, I simply wished to ask if you got my mail yet? I will admit I was a bit confused with the American addressing system but I think I have it down. Well, either way I will say
Bon anniversaire. Which, means in french Happy Birthday.
crypticInsight has begun pestering okaeMagican
CI: Bonjour mon ami, I hope your day is going well, I simply wished to ask if you got my mail yet? I will admit I was a bit confused with the American addressing system but I think I have it down. Well, either way I will say
Bon anniversaire. Which, means in french Happy Birthday.
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