Aldo

I am not a liar.

I chose weakness; I chose humanity, and all of the pain, joy, misery and ecstasy the choice brings. It is the price of being human, it is as much of the truth as the rest of me, and it is the truth on which I'd decided over the noise and the beckoning of the void, over that sense of something missing. Guildereim has not been healthy, but I would not have met Neeva or grown close to the Vaidya had I not decided to come.

I have been called a liar and I have been called a thief. I've been accused of being jealous, of stealing a shape and a life from another world that could not exist in my own. That this was a fool's errand and a masquerade, that what I was doing was doomed to fail.

That is not who I am. This life is mine and nothing about it is determined. It was my decision to leave the island. I chose Dalmaine and Kazuma; I chose Laerdya, the Vaidya and Neeva.

Predestination is dangerous thinking. I've made a point to be a capricious son of a bitch. But why did I choose to be unpredictable, then; is all behavior an inevitable chain?

I reject this idea.

The Vaidya has risen beyond circumstance of their birth and origins. And I have no tears for the soul who tries convincing Neeva she must remain enslaved. The company I keep has a way of spitting in the eyes of fate - what is programming if we transcend our original purpose?

I'm not a liar, and I didn't dig this book out again just to navel-gaze. That's not my style. This isn't about me; this is about Cody.

After a year of getting acquainted with them - virtues, failings, and truly bizarre abnormalities, the Vaidya, Neeva and I traveled to the space from which Cody came, and met the surviving caretaker of what remained.

There, we'd found answers. We were told that Cody is a piece of a machine designed by a mad Master, who has been instrumental in the complete destruction of worlds.

That may be. But they are also a parent. They are a fighter. They are mouthy and a brute, charming and perpetually irritating, and they are Neeva's closest friend. They are capable of reflecting on themself and acting on what they find. "Faulty programming."

And the caretaker, the First Son of the space in which we'd found ourselves, wishes us to deliver them to their world.

It showed me what they have done, and what they could still manage to do. I have seen an entire world vanish between the furious, loathsome jaws of a wolf. It's a zero-sum game; whichever happens, one world will die, and we lose. We choose this world, we lose Cody and doom another world to their directive.

Guildereim's doctor had gone to this place before us, and so had others; the caretaker had instructed the same to each, and neither had delivered. I imagine the scholar and the warrior didn't have the heart. The doctor might prefer the darkness.

These kinds of talks generally don't go well whenever it falls to me to deliver them. I didn't eat their partner this time, at least. I suppose that should count for something. Still, at best, this is asking them to give up what they've come to care about, and that's asking an awful lot.

Considering this past year and what we and others have uncovered, I've no doubt they know of what I've been afraid of myself, at this point; they will remain when most are gone, they are a dog who will bite whoever comes too close. They may already feel that this is a masquerade, that their fate is inevitable, and I can't allow that.

Of course I'm afraid. I don't know which way this one's going to go. I'd be a fool not to be afraid.

I see my problem magnified in their problem - and I am afraid for their sake.

I hate not having a clear answer. I loathe feeling like this.

I chose to feel like this.