Struggle
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Do You Feel Alive?
The Past
is the past
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Born in Chi'Laptă, one of the most dangerous places in Uwhang, Mel'Ravi grew up being far from shy or needy. Self sufficient and a fast learner, she was never one to ask for help or seek guidance in anything. She tried everything at least once and if she failed the first time, she tried again and again until she got it right. She learned from her failures until there were none left to learn from, until she had no room left for them. She was one of the strongest in her village and a skilled hunter, having even gone head to head with a Ky’Tir’Nem. Though it has been said once or twice that her self sufficient attitude could possibly be a cause for her lack of emotional bonds with other people. She never argued against it either because she knew it was true and didn't care much about it. Emotional ties cause weakness, after all, and she had no room for weakness. To some she seemed arrogant but she knew the truth of it; she was destined for greatness and she knew it. She was ruthless and blunt, something many found irritable about her, but she knew how to fabricate her personality to better suit a situation. As arrogant as she seemed, she felt like she was on top of the world. Surviving the jungle, passing the coming of age journey that only a handful of Khah' could ever survive, she felt like she could eat the world raw. She had not just survived out there. She had lived. She had become a beast of the jungle herself, striking fear into many of the weaker Khah' in her group that had been tasked to survive. That was where she had fought the Ky’Tir’Nem and won, though with scars on her torso and her shoulder to always serve as a reminder. But she had lived, and she had thrived, and she had been one of the few to walk back out of the jungle stronger, braver, and starving for more. At fourteen (4 Tam'nýer—a''n Months) she could have had it all. She could have become one of the guards for the Empress of Uwhang herself had fate not offered her a new path of power and strength.
A New Path
Rebirth
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Stumbling across members of Sty-kopös' Flames had been a freak accident when she had volunteered to go with a group to one of Uwhang's coast-line towns. Until then, the Flames had been nothing but a rumor, a sort of scary story told to keep kids at home when the sun went down. Never in her life had she thought the stories to be true, not until she found herself looking into the mask of a member herself. They were snatching up slaves, she later learned, and hadn't counted on her accidental discovery of them ushering the handful of future slaves to a ship at the docks. Any normal person would have alerted someone, she knew. They would have called for help, or at least put up a fight before dying, miserably, by the Flames' hand. But not Mel'Ravi. She knew they would kill her if she gave them the chance. They couldn't risk being seen, couldn't risk any sort of failure or danger to their mission. For what felt like the first time in her life, Mel'Ravi felt fear washing over her, but she steeled her nerves and she stared the masked strangers down and made one simple demand; "Make me a member." An extremely heavy and dangerous request, but it was either that or death, and she was in no hurry to die just yet. They said nothing, those masked people, as they tied her up the same way they tied up the slaves. They tossed her into the boat and she waited and waited, silently praying that she would be allowed to live past this encounter. And it seemed luck was on her side...
They didn't make it an easy introduction for her but she was no stranger to hard work and took it all in stride. She had been given to the roughest of teachers and took the beatings and hard training without argument. She was a quick learner, starting out as a simple smuggler and spy for a while before she moved up in ranks, finding pleasure in assassinations. She had a special talent for seducing and destroying targets, and that was what they had her do the most for a while. Her beautiful looks and acting abilities made her a very important asset in their ranks. She did this until she reached her third Tam'nýer—a''n year, when she was promoted to Captain, and then only five months later gifted the tittle of Underboss of Sty-kopös' Flames. She was one of five, a rare position for one to reach, and she took the tittle with all the grace and strength she took everything else with.
Mel'Ravi is the current Underboss located in Püertagœ, and doesn't plan on losing her tittle any time soon. She holds this position with pride and elegance, but she is not one to take lightly. She does not tolerate failure or disobedience. -
Oh, How the Mighty Fall
For all her dislike of personal bonds and emotions, there was one who had managed to catch her attention in her life. A fellow Flame member, a Nkhya'jra male by the name of Derick. It was his performance that had caught her eye and made her curious, really. He was strong and rather intelligent, traits she could appreciate in another person. The interest seemed to have been mutual, as well, as he seemed to be just as intrigued by her which she used to her advantage, dancing around his interest and advances until, finally, their relationship blossomed into something passionate, something that Mel'Ravi found herself becoming increasingly enamored with. Though her need to control, to call every shot and pull every string, did not falter with even this relationship. It was something...new. Offering emotions to another person was not something she did easily, or at all. It was a strange thing for her at times that made her feel uneasy, as if at times her careful composure and control was slipping from her grasp. So she was careful to keep him in the palm of her hand, give him the affection he desired that felt so alien to her. In a way, she was sure, there was a part of her that ached to become content with this. But it was over powered by the paranoia, the fear that she would lose control and stumble in her journey for power. Eventually, when her own paranoia and frustration became too much, she closed herself off to him and even herself. He would not go anywhere anyways, she was sure. She had given him what he wanted.
Or, so she had thought.
When Derick left her Mel'Ravi had been filled with a rage so powerful she was almost terrified of it. He would leave her? No, that wasn't right. She was the one that said when they were done, not him. And yet he had walked away, the mere fact that he could grow sick of her making her blood boil. And that was when she realized a part of herself existed that she was not fond of. A part that, perhaps, ached for companionship. And that part of her clashed violently with the rest of her, with her desire for power and control. She could not love something she couldn't control, and yet she dared to say she had loved the man she had taken for granted. She sneered at the thought. He was weak and desperate and she had no time for such things. She had power to chase after, and she would not allow romantic feelings to make her careless again. So she keeps everyone she knows at a safe distance, but keeps the strings she pulls around them tight. No one would catch her by surprise again.
Derick, of course, is a fellow Underboss now, which means that on occasion their work forces them to once again cross paths. Those are the days Mel'Ravi dreads more than anything.
Truthfully, Mel'Ravi is a narcissist that clings tightly to her need for control. Control over people, over situations, and over every aspect of her life, including her emotions. Being soft would only get in the way. Falling in love was a distraction she would never again fall victim to. When she loses control over things or people it fills her with an almost crippling paranoia.
