stars
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you don't know the half of the abuse...
Grimms is the son of a matter mage and a voodoo loa, a priestess that gave up a part of her soul to keep him alive. He's named after his dad and a demon, he's moral less and coming to terms with being an alien himself.
ooc // grimms is super WIP & his timeline is a little wonky as his parents deal with the fact their kids are aging up in weeks instead of years. details available at PM/whisper request.
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Journal
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relapse March 19th 2018, 12:53 am
Take twenty four of living.
Snapshots of sunbursts in my vision.
Blondes melt into the richer tones almost like they're mixing with the colors of my family, making something bright and powerful to grab my damn attention.
Read More....Traffic cone orange with a name threatening spice if you're basic, she was wearing the jacket that Eden ran off with before I never saw her again, and my anger deflated with every word out of the singer's mouth.
She sounds like dad, sounds like everything that grates on my nerves when I'm holed away for hours and days. Coaxes of coming out to see the world like I'm a tomcat got loose in their guest room.
I keep seeking her out, though, the heat of something real with no demands for anything other than my stilted, awkward - how does an empty shell play human again? - self.
Of course there's trouble. There's always trouble. Flash of smarmy grins, mockery and it's easier, now, to let myself fill the light in a room. I call myself a shadow, but I'm starting to realize it's because I block the light, not just that there's less of me.
I don't let that shit slide. I don't. I won't. I couldn't, not after she said I was her's to scare the fucker off and even that didn't deter a fool from trying to run off with a pixie shaped spotlight.
You can't have her, world. Not all the time.
I'm terrified of when she finally puts the pieces together that make up the half collected jigsaw that is me and all the parts that ma gave up when she demanded my existence.
She's got something going on. I think. I wonder. Maybe something's following her too. Maybe she sees people no one else does in the corners of her vision.
Who knows. We'll find out when that idiot's roofie wears off, and I can get her Waffle House.
How can you come to the south and not get Waffle House?
God, next I'll find out she's never had White Castle or a single damn crab leg...
What's with me and having to watch them breathe in their sleep? Mom, dad, what the fuck. -
young & menace April 30th 2017, 4:15 pm
(oops I did it again)
I don't make much sense lately, and watching other people ride their cycles of life is much much easier for me.
I don't get out much, but when I get roped into (blackmailed) helping someone unpack, I find out why people aren't always as awful as I thought.
She's a mess. I think dad would like her, maybe sis too, they've got that quirky that only comes from starstruck lifestyles. Kharma came at me fast, chomp-chomp without the chain. Hella good at Mario Kart and elbows that leave bruises, I made a friend.
I feel like I scare her, but that's healthy.
I needed someone like this, to remind me why others being happy is a good goal to strive for. And that I can work on my own too, in the process. It's good for me.
I think.
She can hear that, though, so that's where it gets fun. Glass therapist with a lighter instead of a pen, smoke somehow makes things clearer.... -
our time is running out July 4th 2016, 10:15 pm
I had to compartmentalize today, and I don't like doing that.
But if I had to choose her over clean hands? Dirty every time.
She's quickly become something important to me. I think...even if she was just a friend of my sister's, even if I never got to find out what it felt like to hold her myself, see that smile directed at me, I would've still made this choice.
Decisions like saving a life aren't ones you contemplate.
Ma warned me from the moment she came into our life, the second Leda started going to NVU with her, that she was something to stay away from...and maybe that was the catalyst to grab my focus...I know she means well, she's the only one who understands the way our mind works, but...I'm not all that sorry, mother. I will understand your anger, understand that you wanted to keep me safe from the realities of what we are and our places in the world a little longer...but.
I think if dad was marked for death, you would've done the same, without a breath of pause. Love does that.
Doesn't it?
Is this love???
Or am I just a monster, greedy for blood and death? An excuse to have both? -
crisis of faith July 2nd 2016, 5:46 pm
Dissociation is easy.
It doesn't take much to know I'm not really supposed to be here, to separate my mind from body.
Picking up so much after only weeks of living, the internet feeds me knowledge at an alarming rate.
Am I really supposed to be like this?
Read More....
Why don't I feel the way the rest of them do?
...what makes someone care? What do I have to do to convince my body that my soul, rotted and weird as it is, is enough? Body, please, I just...I want to be normal.
I know I can't be, but I'll still want.
I've accepted this.
Why can't I escape like Leda?
Leda, who gets father's devotion and everything good about him; our dad is starshine, something too-good for this world and it's obvious in the way he treats his family that we're important, even if...I'm not what he was expecting.
Any day now, I'm waiting for him to give up trying. It's like he thinks he can fix me like he fixes everything else. I'm not a project, I'm your son. Even if you didn't want me.
I'm a terror they try to keep under lock and key, I've seen firsthand that I'm not made for this world...right?
I can't be, because everyone else seems so happy and I just feel like a shadow in my own home. I lurk and I spook and sometimes I get a laugh out of someone, but I can still always sense the fear lurking underneath that expression.
Good.
Everyone should be afraid of me.
I know I am.
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