Kray

Please Don't

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  • Tastes like... December 3rd 2016, 2:39 pm

    

    
    There's something bitter... In the back of my mouth. My tongue is so dry I can barely lift it. Every morning I struggle to throw my legs over the edge of the bed. I feel as though the floor will give out, or that my feet will land in a pool of blood. I can't remember the last time I slept through the night. I wake up and gaze into the darkness, and I can feel something all around me. Hanging there, in the darkness-- draped over every shadow. Snoring.
    
    It's been over a decade. Ten fucking years. When will the nightmares stop? When will I stop feeling responsible for their deaths? I just want to be a decent father... I have to. For him. He wasn't the first... But he'll be the last. I see him in our son, and it's a constant reminder that this whole ordeal isn't over. I have to see this through to the end-- even if it goes on forever. My children need me.
    
    But...
    
    I found something in the woods. It was bigger than all the undead, swarming those three islands. It was bigger than the infected wildlife, greater than agony of my friends as those creatures from the ocean dragged their corpses into the night. Am I really the only one who saw it? Shit... I thought I was monstrous. I'm wracked with guilt over what I did. I think I always will be. The worst part? I never discovered what it was that possessed me to kill the Lady Montgomery. I slaughtered her... The old Madchen man was an accident, and Max deserved it, but--
    
    No. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. For Melody, for Jasper. For my love... Torn apart by that demon. My recent sessions with my psychiatrist, Dr. Anoufriev, have helped me fill some of the gaps in my memory. I still can't see the face of my lover, my best friend... I'm just glad he got to hold his baby in his arms before she took him. It's the little things, I suppose.
    
    Jasper is brave, bless him. I put them both to bed and Melody asks me to check for monsters-- in the wardrobe, under the bed... Jasper mocks her. I was the same, when I was a child... Except... I didn't honestly expect my parents to find anything.
    
    Now? Now I go to their room frequently during the night. Every night. I check in the wardrobe and under the bed. Am I just paranoid? I'm just so afraid of losing anybody else. The shadows suffocate me, drawing closer. Whispering. There's something bitter... In the back of my mouth. It tastes like blood.

  • Progress September 11th 2016, 12:01 pm

    

    
    "'Recovery' is a very nice way of referring to this coping method of mine. If incessant nightmares and constantly picking at my skin, pulling the hairs out of my arms and legs, is 'recovery', then I must be doing a great fucking job.
    
    It's been roughly a decade since a corpse has tried to kill me. The virus has been quelled. Somewhat. The government has isolated survivors, including myself, in parts of the world yet untouched by the outbreak. In many places, water is kept in reserve and has to be processed before it can be drank- as the infection was waterborne. They're just being careful. Fortunately, the parasite believed to be responsible was isolated to those few small islands.
    
    Jasper's future is promising, he's better at controlling his abilities than I ever was. I'm sure somebody is following us, I think they know what we are- what Jasper is. Melody is beginning to question why her father hasn't aged in ten years. I'm beginning to wish I would. Immortality isn't a bright prospect.
    
    On a more positive note, I've regained some of my memories. Not the terrible ones, either. I have a new psychiatrist now and he says that this is a good sign. If I can remember what happened, I can begin to come to terms with it. I think we've got more in common than he cares to admit, I think he'll take all the hope he can get.
    
    I don't remember Jasper's father. I remember the name 'Sinclair'. That's all. I know I had a husband, once, and I know that our son is beautiful.
    
    What do I remember? Well,... Enter Kray, Nyaomi, and Fox, taking it upon themselves to solve the murder of Lady Montgomery- believing it may be connected to an earlier series of deaths surrounding an inheritance, somewhat provoked by visions of a hungry, black 'demon'. Yours truly. It's safe to say that Jackson and I didn't really get along. At first, he was convinced I was of a rational mind when I killed that woman. Jackson is, or was, a very self-assured individual. He was also a vampire. What he lacked in wit he made up for in bravery and determination. Nyaomi had the wit, and she was gorgeous. Jackson was incredibly lucky. Now I'm the lucky one, I suppose, for her daughter is entrusted into my care. I think Melody Liu is going to be just like her mother. I feel like they're watching me. If Jackson hadn't forgiven me before the infection took his mind, I hope he has now. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry.
    
    A storm named 'the Plume' was likely responsible for carrying the virus overseas to the mainland, and between the neighbouring islands. The law might have been in jeopardy, but disfigured creatures crawling out of the ocean, animals entering a violent fervour, and the dead coming back to life really put things into perspective.
    
    At least with all the witnesses dead, no one is going to attempt to convince the cops that I turned into a dragon and killed several people. If they did, at least they'd seem crazier than I do."

  • Aftermath September 10th 2007, 11:38 pm

    "I'm the only one left. Everybody is dead. I'm having trouble processing the things I saw. The doctors and nurses don't believe me. Nobody does. They see three islands awash with bodies and the only explanation is a parasite. There's more to it than that- there's something supernatural, something evil. There was something in the woods, and nobody will believe me.
    
    I have to keep going- I have to give these children a shot at life away from all the blood, the disease. Jasper is a shape-changer too, he'll never fit in. Melody? If everything we went through didn't fuck her up, she might just have a chance. At night I stare at the ceiling. The last thing I see before I pass out from the headaches are their faces- sinking in a pool of blood. They're scarcely recognisable, and all their screams sound the same.
    
    The only one I remember is Teddy. Teddy Whishaw was a father to us all, at a time when we needed someone to guide and care for us. He survived the infection- I believe he would've accompanied me here to relative safety, too, but he was murdered. That bastard needed him on the verge of death, at least, so he could take his lungs. He needed a donor- and where else was he supposed to find one? The hospital on the island was supposed to be a safe haven for all of us, but it turned into a death sentence.
    
    My psychiatrist tells me I shouldn't blame myself. That thing- that demon- was behind all of this, I know that, but through me it began its ascension up a flight of stairs, to a precipice that overlooks all humanity. Then, wearing that poor girl's corpse, it continued quashing us- one by one. It's still out there. The outbreak is 'under control' (and I think they use that term lightly), but how long do we have until the next one? What happens when the next storm carries it over to the USA, to Europe? I feel as though our home was a trial run. I feel like our enemy, whatever its motive, is capable of so much more.
    
    At least I wasn't contaminated. I'm grateful for that. The animal that had attacked me wasn't infected with the virus, but with rabies, to which I'm immune.
    
    For now, all that matters are the children. Melody is Nyaomi's kid. Jasper is mine. Well, I guess they're both mine now. I see my psychiatrist's brow furrow when I tell him about them- I tell him with a smile, they're the only light I have left, but he's not convinced I'm 'safe'. If they take Jasper and Melody away, I've failed their parents. I don't know what I'll do. I need help, and I'm not going to find it at the hospital.
    
    I discharged myself the first night I was there. A crow landed outside my window, and I'm sure its eyes were red. It's hard to imagine, after everything, animals as they were before. All I can say with certainty, now, is that I'm never taking my kids to the zoo."