Samuel Squirrel

Profile

• Basic Info

  • Name: Samuel Squirrel
  • Gender: Male
  • Played by: WillowIstari
  • Nickname: Squirrel
  • Species: Human
  • Age: 28
  • Height: 5'8
  • Job: Pathologist/Coroner
  • Favorite Song: Spooky Scary Skeletons, No Scrubs

• Appearance

  A man of average height but thin, needs a good meal or 12. Mousey brown hair and brown eyes mottled with green. Dresses very casual even when working, maximizing comfort without regard for his appearance. Probably the only pathologist that wears shoelace biters. Has a lot of little things around him that hint at what he does even if you don’t know him: a skull keychain, a coffee cup with morbid jokes on it, etc.

• Personality

  He got the nickname Squirrel because he chatters non-stop about things that people usually don’t want to talk about, like parasites or how much blood an average body has or what a megacolon is. (King of social skills, he is.) Ended up changing his last name to it because he liked it better than having his family name. On the outside he’s energetic and delightfully cheerful, cracking jokes, his sentences sprinkled with southern idioms. “Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, I found the exit wound!!” Some people find his energy overwhelming, but Wren seems to enjoy his company for reasons no one can really figure out.
  
  On the inside he’s a tightly coiled spring of anxiety and PTSD; he does like sharing his weird interests but his nonstop talking is also a ruse to cover how nervous he really feels. He's a chronic insomniac, absolutely hates sleeping. On a good night he manages a couple hours but he can go days without any at all, drinking a steady diet of energy drinks and forgetting to eat real food.
  
  He’s terrified of the night: that’s when everything bad happens, bad things like the dark, man. He keeps every light on in the room he’s occupying even if he does happen to sleep. Deathly afraid of zombies.
  
  Despite his jokes he has a respect for the dead that borders on reverence, talking to them when he’s examining them, telling them what he’s doing even though they can’t hear him.

• Tidbits

  Raised in Louisiana among a family full of funeral home directors, Squirrel grew up in the business of death and was accustomed to it from an early age. His parents ran one of the largest mortuaries in the state; when he graduated high school he went to work for his Dad. Unfortunately he left his inhaler at work one night (after dark) and went back to get it, only to discover dear old Pops was taking the bodies he should have been burying and using them to create zombies. Squirrel tried to stop him but that didn’t go so well. Don’t laugh, zombies are scary: you try getting stabbed by old Mr. Mansfield when he’s been dead for three days. That’d give anyone a phobia.
  
  He’s a genius with dead people. Are you dead? Can nobody figure out why you’re dead? Have Squirrel take a look at you, he’ll figure it out in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.
  
  He knows which areas of the body to damage to bring someone down but he’s not at all a trained fighter. He’s probably better off running if he can, he’s very fast even with asthma.