The Brother
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Sebastian
You know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, and after what I'd seen, I'd be, I'd be wrecked. And you, you'd come up to me and you, you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye and you'd... You'd say "its okay, Dad" Dean, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, and I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you. ~ John Winchester, Supernatural, 2x01 In My Time of Dying
When Dexter was 8 years old a little brother came into his life. Sebastian was everything that Dexter had never had before; he was someone he could protect and someone that he immediately bonded with. In all his experiences with other kids he'd never come across one that he just instantly liked, but when four year old Sebastian first called him Dexy he was sold. Dexter was left to tend to him while their parents hunted, taking the role of the father before he could even appreciate his own reproductive system. But that was fine with Dex, he could tell Seb anything and of course he finally had someone to really play with. Seb followed him around everywhere, he idolized everything Dex did and wanted to be just like him.
But it was the little moments that Dex still holds onto...
The nights where Sebastian would be terrified and crawl into bed with him, curling his tiny form up against Dex for comfort in the face of fear. All because the boogeyman was out to get him, when Dexter had already checked and found nothing. But still, he amused his brother and made sure that they checked first thing each morning so that he'd be safe from the monsters.
Or the mornings when Dex would set Seb in front of the TV while he worked on making Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes, because that's what his brother asked for. Though they looked increasingly less like Mickey Mouse and increasingly more like a pile of pancake bits they always thrilled Seb which made him smile.
There was even that one time when Dex had to go with his dad and leave Seb behind, Dex was deposited a few days later with a black eye and a broken arm. Dex was pretty banged up and crying in the back yard while Seb played. But his little brother walked over and gave him a blade of grass, then kept going back and forth between the grass and Dex until he had a bouquet. When he was done he just sat down and wrapped his little arms around Dex.
One day when Dex was getting some things ready for a hunt he was distracted by Sebby running through the house screaming his name, when he turned around Seb gripped his leg in a tight long hug and said, “I lovvveeeeee you!” As he let go and ran off.
Even the fights, when being brothers was sometimes just too much for the two of them. Dex loved it because when Seb was ready to make up he always came with sad eyes, open arms, and "I'm sorry Dexy." It never ceases to melt Dexter's heart.
Then there were the tears when Sebastian was worried about their parents. The moments when Dexter had to put his own fears and concerns aside and make sure that he could comfort his brother, to make it better for Sebastian because he couldn't handle watching him cry. He could never handle seeing his little brother, the sweetest guy in the world, be sad.
Towards the end of their time with their parents Dex had been dating a girl named Laurie when she decided to dump him. He couldn't sleep so he was sitting in the living room in the middle of the night when Seb came downstairs with a peanut butter sandwich saying, “I’m not the world’s best cook, but I made it with love. Goodnight Dex.”
Even the day when Sebastian was 9 and realized for the first time that his plate had two pieces of chicken and all the vegetables while Dex ate a few slices of bread dipped in the chicken grease. And asked the simplest but hardest question in the world, "Aren't you going to eat too?" Because Dexter had to tell him the truth, that there was no more food. Seb didn't say anything; he just pushed his plate over and then moved around to sit next to Dex. "Then we share."
But those are only a few of the things that Dexter remembers. It doesn't even begin to explain his strong attachment to Seb, though it could be thought that it has something to do with him serving as both father and brother to the man. But for Dex its simple, Sebastian is his family. No matter what, no matter how, he's going to do whatever he can for his brother. End of story.
Dexter never complained about tending to Sebastian, he welcomed it. He stayed home knowing that if he was home, Sebby was safe. If he was home, Sebby could have a normal life. So he did what he could, he played games with him. He read him books. He sat down for hours and colored.
He'd even go out the night before Seb's birthday when every else had forgotten him and steal his gifts and a cake. He wasn't proud of it, but he knew that he couldn't ever let Seb down. When Sebastian turned five, their parents were out on a hunt longer than expected. Dexter had absolutely nothing for Seb, so after he tucked him in, he crept out a window and broke into the local supermarket. There wasn't much, but he took a few coloring books and a Hot Wheels car, and of course a cake. Though, he should have at least turned on one light because the cake was for a little girl and said "Happy Birthday Princess" across it. Dexter was and continues to be less than perfect, especially when it comes to gifting.
Dex even helped in homeschooling his brother, putting aside his studies to make sure that Seb could read and write. He tried to teach him math, but for some reason Dexter couldn't quite get the hang of teaching a five year old long division. To this day it eludes him that he ever thought he actually could. After their parents died neither child continued with school, but Dexter did what he could to help Seb. He tried to get him to study subjects on the off-hand, making it look like research for their next hunt, when really he wanted to familiarize him with some of the classics of hunting literature. Like Dracula and Frankenstein.
There has never, ever, been a moment where he regretted having Sebastian in his life. Even when they don't get along Dex couldn't imagine a world without him. They've become estranged in the past few years, but Dexter still tries to hold onto his brother. He still gets those birthday gifts, still tries to make sure he has a good Christmas, and still sneaks him more food than he does for himself. When they're able he cooks him Mickey Mouse pancakes, even though Seb doesn't find the amusement. And when he feels like Seb needs the nickname his mother gave him, he calls him "Bastian" to try and offer him some sort of comfort.
But as the years roll by he's starting to notice that he's losing him. Each birthday he sees a little more of his Sebby slip away and he keeps trying to win it back, to find out where his brother has been disappearing to. He honestly thinks that Sebastian hates him, that he somehow blames Dex for their parents and would rather ditch the excess baggage of a truly un-related brother. And on the inside Dexter is broken for those thoughts. He tries too hard, pushes himself too much, and recklessly tosses himself in situations that he knows are dangerous to prove he still loves his little brother, even if he doesn't love him in return.
Dexter is terrified that he'll wake up one morning and Sebastian will be gone, that his last piece of family will just disappear into the night and leave him alone again. And so he holds on too strong, he never lets Seb go out of his sight for too long, he keeps him away from other people, and of course he tries to find common ground again between them.