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Forums » Art & Creativity » Excerpt of my 'NaNo' Novel + Thoughts

NaNoWriMo ended yesterday and I am exhausted - but I am pretty happy with what I got written. I didn't finish my draft that will come later, but there are a few scenes I am quite happy with.

Today my region had a TGIO party, Thank Goodness It's Over party, to celebrate the end of NaNo and they do this thing where if you want you can bring a excerpt of your book/story and people will write little notes on the back of it on sticky notes of what they enjoyed. Then they pick three out of all of them to get little prizes. I didn't win any prizes with mine as there were many others that were stunning and beyond interesting, but I am still quite happy with the excerpt.

Context: Blair and Esme married in an arranged marriage for essentially a business arrangement; Esme is openly bisexual/polyamorous, and Blair is in denial bisexual for a good chunk of the book, this excerpt is from a pivotal moment in their relationship, especially emotionally.


Click to check it out



“This was a mistake,” Esme said slowly.
Blair blinked. “What?” she asked.
“Maybe…” Esme exhaled, her fingers tightening on the wrought iron railing, “…maybe we shouldn’t have done this.”
“Done what?” she asked despite her stomach tightening. She waited for anything but what she feared to come out of Esme’s mouth.
Heart pounding.
“Get married,” Esme whispered, “…maybe it was a mistake.”
“It’s not,” Blair insisted, her brow furrowing.
“Why not?” Esme asked her, “Who besides me cares about it? My own family doesn’t support it. My brother… maybe but,” Esme exhaled heavily. Waving one hand away from the railing.
“Lucas didn’t even come to the wedding, and… you,” Esme continued, “You’d rather be right back where you were before all this. Denial is more comfortable, and God I forced you into this, didn’t I?” she shook her head, “Maybe this was a mistake, we shouldn’t have went through with this arrangement. I was crazy for even thinking it was a good idea.”
“No!” Blair blurted out and even she was surprised by the hitch in her breath, the sudden stinging in her eyes.
Heart aching.
“No it wasn’t,” she added, feeling breathless.
Esme’s brow furrowed. Steel blue eyes glittering.
“How can you say that after what happened downstairs?” Esme asked her.
Blair’s nose was starting to tingle from the cold even with the heat from her flushed cheeks. She wrapped her arms around herself.
“How c-can you say that it was a mistake after…” Blair swallowed hard, “…what happened downstairs? After what you said to me…”
Butterflies were taking Blair’s stomach captive as the admission of how she felt and semi-acceptance of it was stinging in her eyes and throbbing in her chest.
Her entire life she’d been told how to feel, who to feel for. Blair had known her entire life that her father would hate her if she was anything but straight - but in this moment, she wanted someone who didn’t check the boxes her father or conservative society had laid out for her, told her that a partner must check.
“Did it really mean anything to you, Blair?” Esme asked her.
Blair’s eyes dripped and her hands squeezed together in fists.
“Yes,” Blair exhaled, “…it did.”
Esme turned to face Blair entirely and stepped closer.
“I don’t understand it and that scares me,” Blair told Esme.
“What?” Esme asked her, curiosity laced in her eyes, “What scares you?”
Blair exhaled, breath shaky. It was… potentially one of the most serious realizations she had come to in years. Next to realizing her mother was never coming back.
“How I feel about you.” Blair told her. She swallowed thickly.
Her throat felt tight but she continued, “This can’t be a mistake,” she shook her head. “Even if… some part of me wants it to be.”




I was worried about what people would think but everyone was pretty positive about it. I'd like to share what some of the notes said.

"Like the name Blair! Omg I'm in love and I don't normally read lgbt romance. Totally got a reader, love your writing style and pacing."

"I like this tight scene between two characters. I wondered what the arrangement was. I wish I came into the scene earlier so I could know the setting and ages of the characters."

"Emotions are strong and present. I would really like to know what the arrangement is."

"Great hook! I'm invested!"


"Makes me want to read about their relationship!"


"The problem with this excerpt is that it doesn't give enough, so all you do is give the reader a tease that leaves them wanting more. So. You need to get on that so people can enjoy the entire story!"



These notes made me very happy. I had a really rough month emotionally and a super tough day today emotionally/mentally and physically, so I needed these encouragements. <3

Just wanted to share, would love to know anyone elses thoughts if they want to give them. It is an excerpt from a first draft so it's nothing stunning lol.

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