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Forums » RP Discussion » Getting What You Want

In this thread I will slide you some super secret, super sneaky tactics to get YOUR way in role-play. While this might sound like old hat to some, I hope others find at least one useful tidbit to help glean fulfillment from their role-play experience.

Disclaimers
I'm not some official RPR representative, these opinions are my own. Please consider these helpful tips rather than rules. This is general advice based on my own experience, which could take different meaning in different situations, not intended to apply to every writer, forum, or experience. Feel free to add your own input, agreements, or disagreements below!


Figure out exactly what it is you want from role-play.
What are you looking for in RP? Why do you do it? Is the goal entertainment, socializing, expanding your literary exposure? Being honest to yourself and others is imperative to making sure things go smoothly. Miscommunication and omission can lead to arguments and hurt feelings further down the line. You can make clear your goals by writing what you want on your profile, explaining intentions for specific characters on their pages, or even casting the bait by writing your preferences in a Seeking RP thread.
Use the tools around you.
RPR itself is rife with tools to help players hunt down what they're looking for. First and foremost, there's the Search bar.
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This thing can give you everything from groups, game tags, forum topics, characters, to players. There's also the self-explanatory Find RP button, and even browsing forum titles themselves, all of which are stowed away in these nice neat categories.
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If you prefer having others come to you or just can't find what you're looking for, consider Advertising your RP idea. Most online role-play gaming communities come with some sort of forum with more tools like these.
Study your target.
Found a character or group that hooks your interest? Fantastic! Time to get a better look. A wonderful widget to start with, whether you're making your character profile or checking out someone else's, is the Always/Never Chart.
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With this, you can easily get a feel for what the writer will allow and what they absolutely do not want. Everything in-between is typically negotiable. If the character isn't set to Anonymous, check out the player's profile while you're at it. The majority of RPR players will write personal preferences or rules on their own page. Alternatively, these might be listed out on the character's page. If you can't find anything of the sort, just ask! Players regularly appreciate when someone else is interested in understanding and respecting their boundaries.
Communicate
Don't be afraid to be open and honest about the type of plot/setting/character you want to write with. While it's important to take the former tips into consideration, figuring out if your idea is something that the other writer might want before even pitching a proposition, uncertainty can be cleared as easily as asking a question. On the flip side of this, be receptive and understanding when someone else is straightforward with you. Don't be afraid to try and work out a plot. Don't be afraid to say no, or of being told no. You'll never know if you don't try!
My final tip, best for last, which is my favorite because I'm just a sucker for irony:
Accept that you won't always get what you want.
Lives, interests, schedules, and priorities change. Try not to take it to heart if someone loses interest or doesn't have interest in the first place. The RP world is absolutely boundless and there are innumerable forums for you track down what you want, characters constantly being created, writers old and new in every corner of the net. Just because a certain scene didn't work out, you didn't get into the group you wanted, or a plot didn't play out between characters like you'd hoped it would, doesn't mean it's the end of RP. NOR does it mean you need to try and change a writer or character to suit your hopes, wants, and dreams. Don't be too hard on yourself. Definitely don't be hard on others. Use your tools, keep your chin up, and keep writing!

Always remember to have
Respect for yourself: Be honest about what you want .
Respect for others: Don't try to force others into wanting what you want.
Respect for your platform: Don't break community rules or terms of service.
Well said! Especially the first one. Whenever someone is moping in Just Talkin` about how everything sucks and they can`t find anything or whatever I always ask them to tell us what would be their perfect roleplay. It`s a good thought exercise that apparently nobody does.
Sanne Moderator

I really like this topic and I would 100% love to see this being used in the Help database as a getting started article!
Rogue-Scribe

This is a nice tutoral! Thanks for sharing it!
A fine tutorial, but your title and intro are misleading. There's no real tips for getting "what you want," out of RPing with other people, it's more like a basic tutorial on using this forum to meet new people/start new RPs. I was hoping for something more interesting, with a bit more meat on it, when I read the title and intro. That's just my 2 cents though. It's a good introduction to using the site, for sure.
Sanne Moderator

TalonHammer wrote:
A fine tutorial, but your title and intro are misleading. There's no real tips for getting "what you want," out of RPing with other people, it's more like a basic tutorial on using this forum to meet new people/start new RPs. I was hoping for something more interesting, with a bit more meat on it, when I read the title and intro. That's just my 2 cents though. It's a good introduction to using the site, for sure.

I think I understand how you feel.

I personally see this topic as a "How to get what you want by using the tools on the site correctly". The title seems to imply this to me, as finding what you want pretty much always means 'knowing how to use the means at your disposal to obtain this goal' to me.

I am curious what you were expecting though. Maybe it can be a new topic of its own so we have even more resources available? :) I'm legitimately interested to know more.
Sanne wrote:
TalonHammer wrote:
A fine tutorial, but your title and intro are misleading. There's no real tips for getting "what you want," out of RPing with other people, it's more like a basic tutorial on using this forum to meet new people/start new RPs. I was hoping for something more interesting, with a bit more meat on it, when I read the title and intro. That's just my 2 cents though. It's a good introduction to using the site, for sure.

I think I understand how you feel.

I personally see this topic as a "How to get what you want by using the tools on the site correctly". The title seems to imply this to me, as finding what you want pretty much always means 'knowing how to use the means at your disposal to obtain this goal' to me.

I am curious what you were expecting though. Maybe it can be a new topic of its own so we have even more resources available? :) I'm legitimately interested to know more.

Yeah, that's fair too. Everyone reads and interprets things their own way after all. XD

The title made me think about how picky I can be when I have a very specific prompt up. Sometimes I'm like, anything goes, or "these characters fit together," but there are times when I have a very specific idea in mind for how I want things to go (not like godmodding, but more specific than "Character A, Character B, set the scene, wind them up and let's see where they go"). But that's just because it was on my mind.

Still, renaming it to something like "Tips for Finding or Starting an RP" might be good.
I think it is a great post.

When I first read it, I thought it might be something else too, but it's one of those sentences that can be interpreted in different ways.

At first, I thought it meant something like "tricks to use in roleplaying to prompt the other roleplayer to take the story in the direction you want it to go." And I was like "OOooOo." I know that sounds kind of manipulative LOL. But it doesn't have to be...I've seen experienced roleplayers use tricks that will sort of...let the other party know what they're after, and sort of...set the story up so that the other player's character is in a position to act on that knowlege of what you seem to want.

One example I've seen that I thought was very clever once was something like, "she wrapped her arms around her body to give herself comfort, because there was no other way for her to get it." I thought that line was genius, because it's basically the other roleplayer suggesting that your character give their character physical comfort without every having to do something heavy-handed, like say "she thought, I wish he would put his arms around me," or write "she leaned against him and put her arms around him." It's all just suggestion, it's "show me don't tell me" and all that. So I jotted that down, thinking, I'm going to use that. lol.

I thought this thread might be something like that. But then after reading it, I saw that it was more like "Getting what you want from your experience here at RpR," which makes sense to me too. It's meant to address those moments when somebody is saying to themselves, "I've looked through all the ads and I don't see a roleplay I'm interested in, what do I do now?" Instead of saying "I can't get what I want" they would use the search tools to "get what they want." Makes sense to me. But the first impression that someone gets from the title might come from assuming someone already knows how to do that, and they are already roleplaying, and they need help getting what they want.

In case that is what was meant, I'll share other a few other tricks I've seen used. Of course, this may not have been what he meant at all...but it is an interesting topic, so I'll go for it. And I'll start a new thread while I'm at it.

Trick number one: (To suggest physical comfort happen) Your character tries to self-sooth in some way, in the presence of another character. Wrapping arms around themselves, rocking, wrapping themselves up in a blanket, wringing hangs, etc.

Trick number two: (To suggest physical romantic intimacy happen) Your character undresses without bothering to leave the room in front of another character.

Trick number three: (To suggest the other character answer a question instead of your character) Your character starts eating and shrugs pointing to their mouth, showing they can't talk because their mouth is full. LOL

I guess there is an infinite number of these, and it could become forumlaic using these, but anyway, in case this was the idea that other guy was meaning, I'm gonna put this in a new thread because I have an overabundance of energy right now and I should be using it for something else...and soon will be off doing that, but I'm on here so....I'm gonna do that. Have a good day all my beautiful folks. ;) *Tips hat*
Abigail said it much better than I did, that's exactly what I was expecting. Both threads are great ideas though!
Libertine Topic Starter

sland wrote:
Whenever someone is moping in Just Talkin` about how everything sucks and they can`t find anything or whatever I always ask them to tell us what would be their perfect roleplay.

I really dig this. That's why I put that one first and foremost, making a gameplan is easier when you've got a clear goal in mind. (also hello Sland I'm still one of your biggest fans 👋)
Sanne wrote:
I really like this topic and I would 100% love to see this being used in the Help database as a getting started article!

Thanks so much Sanne! The database has some amazing guides, I just thought I'd compile some help here. Glad you enjoyed my mishmash advice ^^;
Dunedain-Ranger wrote:
This is a nice tutoral! Thanks for sharing it!
Thanks for saying so.
TalonHammer wrote:
A fine tutorial, but your title and intro are misleading.
Abigail_Austin wrote:
At first, I thought it meant something like "tricks to use in roleplaying to prompt the other roleplayer to take the story in the direction you want it to go."

Abigail definitely figured this out. The misleading title was entirely intentional, and I low-key hoped to rope in those looking to find actual "secret, sneaky ways" to alter RP, as an excuse to remind them that they don't have to be sneaky to get what they want. It's actually the opposite! Open communication, exchanging information and ideas.... To be honest, I've seen some nasty manipulation attempted in RP, such as emotional manipulation ("I'm leaving the game if this doesn't happen" "I guess I'll just go since you didn't like my character" "not getting this in-character job/property/romance has made me distressed irl"), repeatedly trying to use OOC knowledge of a character to force it into a situation ("I read this and that about the OC so will inorganically have my character assume it's true"). I've even seen a combination of these, where a character was continuously pitted against an incompatible one while the other player insisted "They should change their mind, now!" To me, the very last rule (and reminders of respecting one's self and others) is the most important piece of advice, remembering how to treat others and that you shouldn't feel down when you don't actually Get What You Want.
(That and, "I'm just a sucker for irony")

On the flip side, Abigail also made a good point by noting you don't always have to say at the very start what you're looking for, mainly: if you're starting out with no expectations between characters whatsoever, which is my go-to type of RP. In those cases, it's entirely up to the characters to organically interact, influencing certain situations with their own wiles and personalities. Though in this case, it's still safe down the line to say "my character admires your character's work ethic /appearance/ personality, are there chances of them working together/dating/being roommates?" It doesn't hurt to talk things out!
Libertine wrote:
sland wrote:
Whenever someone is moping in Just Talkin` about how everything sucks and they can`t find anything or whatever I always ask them to tell us what would be their perfect roleplay.

I really dig this. That's why I put that one first and foremost, making a gameplan is easier when you've got a clear goal in mind. (also hello Sland I'm still one of your biggest fans 👋)
Sanne wrote:
I really like this topic and I would 100% love to see this being used in the Help database as a getting started article!

Thanks so much Sanne! The database has some amazing guides, I just thought I'd compile some help here. Glad you enjoyed my mishmash advice ^^;
Dunedain-Ranger wrote:
This is a nice tutoral! Thanks for sharing it!
Thanks for saying so.
TalonHammer wrote:
A fine tutorial, but your title and intro are misleading.
Abigail_Austin wrote:
At first, I thought it meant something like "tricks to use in roleplaying to prompt the other roleplayer to take the story in the direction you want it to go."

Abigail definitely figured this out. The misleading title was entirely intentional, and I low-key hoped to rope in those looking to find actual "secret, sneaky ways" to alter RP, as an excuse to remind them that they don't have to be sneaky to get what they want. It's actually the opposite! Open communication, exchanging information and ideas.... To be honest, I've seen some nasty manipulation attempted in RP, such as emotional manipulation ("I'm leaving the game if this doesn't happen" "I guess I'll just go since you didn't like my character" "not getting this in-character job/property/romance has made me distressed irl"), repeatedly trying to use OOC knowledge of a character to force it into a situation ("I read this and that about the OC so will inorganically have my character assume it's true"). I've even seen a combination of these, where a character was continuously pitted against an incompatible one while the other player insisted "They should change their mind, now!" To me, the very last rule (and reminders of respecting one's self and others) is the most important piece of advice, remembering how to treat others and that you shouldn't feel down when you don't actually Get What You Want.
(That and, "I'm just a sucker for irony")

On the flip side, Abigail also made a good point by noting you don't always have to say at the very start what you're looking for, mainly: if you're starting out with no expectations between characters whatsoever, which is my go-to type of RP. In those cases, it's entirely up to the characters to organically interact, influencing certain situations with their own wiles and personalities. Though in this case, it's still safe down the line to say "my character admires your character's work ethic /appearance/ personality, are there chances of them working together/dating/being roommates?" It doesn't hurt to talk things out!

Ahhh...that was very sneaky! You're a diabolical genuis! Good job. And also, this means Tallonhammer was right about the title, however, it was intentionally misleading in a clever way. You guys blow my mind.
TalonHammer wrote:
Abigail said it much better than I did, that's exactly what I was expecting. Both threads are great ideas though!

I made a thread like that, if you want to check it out!
Sanne wrote:
TalonHammer wrote:
A fine tutorial, but your title and intro are misleading. There's no real tips for getting "what you want," out of RPing with other people, it's more like a basic tutorial on using this forum to meet new people/start new RPs. I was hoping for something more interesting, with a bit more meat on it, when I read the title and intro. That's just my 2 cents though. It's a good introduction to using the site, for sure.

I think I understand how you feel.

I personally see this topic as a "How to get what you want by using the tools on the site correctly". The title seems to imply this to me, as finding what you want pretty much always means 'knowing how to use the means at your disposal to obtain this goal' to me.

I am curious what you were expecting though. Maybe it can be a new topic of its own so we have even more resources available? :) I'm legitimately interested to know more.

I made that thread that people thought this was suggesting it was. Thanks for taking this a step further and asking a clarifying question and suggesting it be made into a thread, otherwise that never would have happened.
This is a great post! Title is misleading in a purposeful way; which is amusing, and I really like that what this was about is pretty much using the site to your advantage and communication.

My personal opinion is there's no good or better way to get what you want from an RP other than using the site, being clear in your post, anc communication with the person you're RPing with.

I cannot stand when people want something specific to happen in RP and they either force my character into it, then it's awkward and I'm annoyed. I also don't like being manipulated, or having someone try and hint something at me over and over and over again.

That's why if I'm rping and I would like something specific to happen, I message them OOC and straight up say "Hey, I would really like this thing to happen, how do you think we could get there?" or I ask, "Hey, could your character possibly do this? It would would really help where we decided the plot is going to go." and we discuss things in a mature and open manner.

Being quiet about an idea, or desire in RP, or being manipulative about it, just isn't healthy. Using the site to the best of your ability, and communicating with your partner, is the only elmers glue* way to get things done.


**elmers glue is non toxic. heh.

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