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Isidro (played anonymously)

Using an anon character cause I don't want any attention for this.

Sometimes I see people posting LFRP posts, etc. using the term "futa."

I'm just wondering, if that is an acceptable thing to say on this site? I've seen some people correcting this (and VERY rightly so, many real-life transgender people such as myself find it hurtful.) But I'm wondering if it's something that should be reported.

In my opinion, people should not use terms like "futa" on sites that are welcoming to all people and have a friendly, safe atmosphere. But, that's just my opinion, I'm not going to go around yelling at people for using a term they may or may not know is hurtful to real people.

Can I get some clarification on this please?
Sanne Moderator

I hear your concern, and I'm not a trans person so I don't have any real input to give to say whether or not it should be a term that gets banned.

My one thought is that the word 'futanari' is a legitimate, Japanese word that dates back several hundred years ago, with a definition that seems to encompass more than just a specific anime inspired fetish about people who exhibit male and female genitalia. It's not a term exclusive to adult situations, and it's a legitimate genre in Japanese culture as well. I'm curious if the origins of the term 'futanari' are the issue, or whether it's the misuse by Western people and the fetishisation associated with it that's hurtful. It might matter in how this is handled?
Isidro (played anonymously) Topic Starter

Sanne wrote:
I hear your concern, and I'm not a trans person so I don't have any real input to give to say whether or not it should be a term that gets banned.

My one thought is that the word 'futanari' is a legitimate, Japanese word that dates back several hundred years ago, with a definition that seems to encompass more than just a specific anime inspired fetish about people who exhibit male and female genitalia. It's not a term exclusive to adult situations, and it's a legitimate genre in Japanese culture as well. I'm curious if the origins of the term 'futanari' are the issue, or whether it's the misuse by Western people and the fetishisation associated with it that's hurtful. It might matter in how this is handled?

Thanks for responding.

With all due respect, I seriously doubt someone looking to ERP on an English-language board is using it as "cultural term." Of course it's the fetishisation (and its use as a slur) of transgender women and intersex people that is the problem. I'm sure you don't have any feelings one way or another about the term, but there are countless examples of real-life transgender and intersex people who do feel bad when we see it, and real people matter more than fictional characters and concepts... even on an RP board. "Hermaphrodite" is also a "legitimate, [English] word that dates back several hundred years ago" and it is still considered a slur by intersex people, and that has been addressed by the RPR staff, in the wonderful article that was written about the gender terms available on the site when creating characters/profiles. I think it's only fair that the term "futa" may also be addressed in the same manner.
Sanne Moderator

Isidro wrote:
Thanks for responding.

With all due respect, I seriously doubt someone looking to ERP on an English-language board is using it as "cultural term." Of course it's the fetishisation (and its use as a slur) of transgender women and intersex people that is the problem. I'm sure you don't have any feelings one way or another about the term, but there are countless examples of real-life transgender and intersex people who do feel bad when we see it, and real people matter more than fictional characters and concepts... even on an RP board. "Hermaphrodite" is also a "legitimate, [English] word that dates back several hundred years ago" and it is still considered a slur by intersex people, and that has been addressed by the RPR staff, in the wonderful article that was written about the gender terms available on the site when creating characters/profiles. I think it's only fair that the term "futa" may also be addressed in the same manner.

Please do not assume my feelings, I'll happily share them if asked. I apologize if I wasn't more clear or supportive.

My feelings on this are that trans people's feelings weigh more heavily than the importance of allowing hurtful terms just because they might be used in more non-sexual cultural ways. I recognize that the term isn't used in any respectful way by a lot of people because of the fetishisation. But just like hermaphrodite is still a viable option on RPR because it has ways of being used that refers to non-human species that exist as hermaphrodites, I was wondering if the same is true about 'futanari' because in Japan it has a much broader meaning than what the West has reduced it to.

I don't know enough about Japanese culture or the history of the term to know whether or not this matters in how the term will be handled by staff. I wondered about the culture behind it and whether or not it should be taken into consideration because that's what happened with hermaphrodite, which is available for characters but not users, and intersex is encouraged by default.
Isidro (played anonymously) Topic Starter

Sanne wrote:
Please do not assume my feelings, I'll happily share them if asked. I apologize if I wasn't more clear or supportive.

My feelings on this are that trans people's feelings weigh more heavily than the importance of allowing hurtful terms just because they might be used in more non-sexual cultural ways. I recognize that the term isn't used in any respectful way by a lot of people because of the fetishisation. But just like hermaphrodite is still a viable option on RPR because it has ways of being used that refers to non-human species that exist as hermaphrodites, I was wondering if the same is true about 'futanari' because in Japan it has a much broader meaning than what the West has reduced it to.

I don't know enough about Japanese culture or the history of the term to know whether or not this matters in how the term will be handled by staff. I wondered about the culture behind it and whether or not it should be taken into consideration because that's what happened with hermaphrodite, which is available for characters but not users, and intersex is encouraged by default.

Well, this might be an important conversation to have, though I wouldn't be the one to have it. I don't have any direct link to Japanese culture, so I'm not going to say anything on that. But I can't take it in good faith that someone looking to ERP would be using it in some kind of broader, more acceptable cultural sense, if you get what I mean.

I do, however, have a link to transgender politics, and while this could be considered hotly debated, the general consensus from my perspective, is that it is a pornography fetish term, which is iffy to begin with (not necessarily against human beings, but nothing in this world exists in a vaccum), but it is also used against people in a malicious, or callous way, and thus the connotation has stuck, regardless of what it has originated from.

My main point of this post is not to debate whether the term is okay because it stems from a certain culture. And of course, I think the handling of the term hermaphrodite was excellent. I would just like to see something like that for this term. It struck me as strange that a site that promotes a welcoming atmosphere, would have people on it using a term I'm used to seeing on sites that don't promote that kind of atmosphere. To put it delicately.
Ryu

I feel like most people using it at least in the context of the Adult Only section aren't using it in a malicious way nor intending it to be that. Most people on the internet get introduced to the concept of "hermaphrodite fetishism" through the use of futanari anime/hentai, etc. Then it just becomes a thing for them. They actually like it, so I don't see the use here to be callous or otherwise.

It might be splitting hairs to try and police something like this.

The problem with picking out a term and deciding well this might hurt someone's feelings is that many words and terms could do that if intent isn't considered.



Historically it was used to denote beings without gender, with characteristics of male or female, or ambiguous as to what their gender is and today its mostly to denote that this is a fictional person with both male and female characteristics as opposed to a real transperson.

If it was being used as an insult I'd say it might need to go away, but I am doubtful that anyone is using it with the intent to harm. If there were cases to be shown where that's true then I would say it might needed to be looked into more.

Edit: And I'm sorry if you find the term harmful, but I think the use of it currently to denote fictional characters with those characteristics might have been in an attempt to create separation from real trans or intersex people. I don't really seen it used as a slur unlike the more common use of the word "trap" which has similar connotation sometimes and often can be used in a derogatory fashion.
Isidro (played anonymously) Topic Starter

Ryu wrote:
I feel like most people using it at least in the context of the Adult Only section aren't using it in a malicious way nor intending it to be that. Most people on the internet get introduced to the concept of "hermaphrodite fetishism" through the use of futanari anime/hentai, etc. Then it just becomes a thing for them. They actually like it, so I don't see the use here to be callous or otherwise.

It might be splitting hairs to try and police something like this.

The problem with picking out a term and deciding well this might hurt someone's feelings is that many words and terms could do that if intent isn't considered.


Historically it was used to denote beings without gender, with characteristics of male or female, or ambiguous as to what their gender is and today its mostly to denote that this is a fictional person with both male and female characteristics as opposed to a real transperson.

If it was being used as an insult I'd say it might need to go away, but I am doubtful that anyone is using it with the intent to harm. If there were cases to be shown where that's true then I would say it might needed to be looked into more.

That's true, and that's pretty much as I figured. I never thought people were using it intentionally to make fun of others, it just kind of shocked me to see so often. To me it's as if someone just casually posted the word "c*ntboy" "trap" or something without realizing that transgender people are real people who don't appreciate the term. Intent is important, of course.
Kim Site Admin

This is honestly a pretty new area to me, and we do not have a specific policy about the word futa as yet. This discussion is helpful. Although it's very unlikely malicious intent is at play, ignorance does not let a person off the hook from learning new things and working to be better.

There's a tension here with fetishization, in that, well... MOST ERP requests are directly fetishizing someone or something, whether it be women, gay folx, trans folx, specific societal roles and professions and power dynamics and body parts, whatever. And this is not fun to look at for some of the people in those groups or who have those body parts. We've also decided that the RPR for the most part avoids kink-shaming and does allow most (not all) ERP topics so long as it features consenting adults, even if they are utterly fantastical consenting adults who don't represent the way anyone is in the real world -- although the actual ERP MUST be done in private. In general, we're not here to yuck somebody's yum, but if they are going to be asking in public we want to try to make sure that the ask isn't going to horribly trigger or offend people in ways that are highly predictable and needless.

So there is a lot of really uncomfortable grey area here on a number of topics, futa just being one. I will monitor this discussion and try to learn more from it.
Hades_

As a genderfluid person who identifies primarily as male with a not matching body to the image I want to portray; I personally do not find this term used even for fetishization as an offensive term.

Futanari is used 99%nowadays to specifically depict a hentai genre that is used diversely by many many cultures, including Japanese. It is used for women, who identify as women, but have male genitalia. It is not used to specifically identify a transgender person. It is not typically used to describe real life people, only hentai or ERP characters.

I understand the hurt you feel, and you are valid for feeling that way. I, personally speaking, dont believe it should be censored with the way it is used. It is a genre for western AND eastern cultures. It is a globally used term for a woman with male genitalia and also women with both sets of genitalia.

I think that instead, by my own suggestion, that characters should not be called a "trap" as this is purposefully used as a derogatory term for actual transgender, transsexual, genderfluid, or cross dressing characters and real life people.

I do not feel that the use of futanari is being done with intentional or unintentional harm. Not with the way the word's use has evolved with time.
Queen_of_Hell

PrettySir wrote:
As a genderfluid person who identifies primarily as male with a not matching body to the image I want to portray; I personally do not find this term used even for fetishization as an offensive term.

Futanari is used 99%nowadays to specifically depict a hentai genre that is used diversely by many many cultures, including Japanese. It is used for women, who identify as women, but have male genitalia. It is not used to specifically identify a transgender person. It is not typically used to describe real life people, only hentai or ERP characters.

I understand the hurt you feel, and you are valid for feeling that way. I, personally speaking, dont believe it should be censored with the way it is used. It is a genre for western AND eastern cultures. It is a globally used term for a woman with male genitalia and also women with both sets of genitalia.

I think that instead, by my own suggestion, that characters should not be called a "trap" as this is purposefully used as a derogatory term for actual transgender, transsexual, genderfluid, or cross dressing characters and real life people.

I do not feel that the use of futanari is being done with intentional or unintentional harm. Not with the way the word's use has evolved with time.

Agreed. I do know that nobody uses term "Futa" to offend anyone. If there's anything I learned from people who like adult roleplays, it's that 96% of them are actually very nice people who don't want to offend anyone or kinkshame others for any reason and just look for other like-minded partners to connect and write with. (Those other 4% are usually dealt with immediately)

It's let's a well-familiar label that many people have heard of, therefore it's used in LFRP so when someone reads it, they immediately know what it is and also saves the original poster from explaining what it is they're looking for or even offer for a roleplay. I have never heard this word being used in any offensive way, so this did come off as a surprise for me.

I'm sorry you feel this way. But at least know that nobody had the intention of hurting anyone here.
I'm going to start off saying that I only read some of the posts.

I just wanted to share what this conversation looks like to me, because it seemed a little to me like some folks were missing each others' points, maybe? Or having trouble quite getting theirs out?

It sounded like initially, the request was for the term "futa" to be banned from public places on the site, much like the f-word and c-word. Later posts make it sound like the desire isn't for it to be banned, but rather for there to be an announcement about how the term can be harmful. I feel like this might have caused some confusion.

I think the initial response what trying to clarify whether the problem was the word all the way back to its origin, or if the problem was its common porn-related use - not whether its use for ERP was problematic or not. I'm not sure how that would change the outcome, admittedly.

I don't feel like it would be appropriate for me to weigh in on the subject, so I won't. I am, however, still going to echo PrettySir on trying to prevent characters from being referred to as "traps." There is no question there, that is an inherently hurtful term with an intentionally hurtful origin, and I've been kinda shocked when I've seen it.
Sanne Moderator

Novalyyn wrote:
I'm going to start off saying that I only read some of the posts.

I just wanted to share what this conversation looks like to me, because it seemed a little to me like some folks were missing each others' points, maybe? Or having trouble quite getting theirs out?

It sounded like initially, the request was for the term "futa" to be banned from public places on the site, much like the f-word and c-word. Later posts make it sound like the desire isn't for it to be banned, but rather for there to be an announcement about how the term can be harmful. I feel like this might have caused some confusion.

I think the initial response what trying to clarify whether the problem was the word all the way back to its origin, or if the problem was its common porn-related use - not whether its use for ERP was problematic or not. I'm not sure how that would change the outcome, admittedly.

I don't feel like it would be appropriate for me to weigh in on the subject, so I won't. I am, however, still going to echo PrettySir on trying to prevent characters from being referred to as "traps." There is no question there, that is an inherently hurtful term with an intentionally hurtful origin, and I've been kinda shocked when I've seen it.

Thanks Nova!

The reason I asked is because 'hermaphrodite' is a word with two sides: the useful one that describes animals who, in simplified terms, have two sexes in the same animal, and the hurtful side that negatively portrays trans people as a fetish.

There is nothing wrong with fetishes, but as a fat person I understand what it's like when things you don't choose about your body are fetishized and as a result, people treat you as lesser and dehumanize you in non-sexual spaces. It kinda really sucks.

The reason I was asking is because some Googling does show there is more to the term 'futa' than just a fetish, just like with hermaphrodite. And we currently allow hermaphrodite to be used for characters only, because non-human characters aren't necessarily intersex, and respectful usage is encouraged.

I think we should be well informed before making new policies as a community. I'm following this topic with interested to learn more.
Isidro (played anonymously) Topic Starter

Kim wrote:
This is honestly a pretty new area to me, and we do not have a specific policy about the word futa as yet. This discussion is helpful. Although it's very unlikely malicious intent is at play, ignorance does not let a person off the hook from learning new things and working to be better.

There's a tension here with fetishization, in that, well... MOST ERP requests are directly fetishizing someone or something, whether it be women, gay folx, trans folx, specific societal roles and professions and power dynamics and body parts, whatever. And this is not fun to look at for some of the people in those groups or who have those body parts. We've also decided that the RPR for the most part avoids kink-shaming and does allow most (not all) ERP topics so long as it features consenting adults, even if they are utterly fantastical consenting adults who don't represent the way anyone is in the real world -- although the actual ERP MUST be done in private. In general, we're not here to yuck somebody's yum, but if they are going to be asking in public we want to try to make sure that the ask isn't going to horribly trigger or offend people in ways that are highly predictable and needless.

So there is a lot of really uncomfortable grey area here on a number of topics, futa just being one. I will monitor this discussion and try to learn more from it.

Thank you Kim, clarification from staff was literally all I was asking for. It's a shame to see that so many people read into my post that I wanted to "BAN" a word. Perhaps they should re-read my initial post and realize I was asking for clarification because there are people who find it to be offensive, and others who do not realize that real-life people may find it offensive.

I'm happy to read these responses and see other people's opinions as well, but I hate that words are being put in my mouth when my initial request was actually very clear in what I was asking for. I'm truly glad I was on anon for this because I anticipated people taking me out of context/putting down the notion that this word might be offensive to real transgender people.

Thank you for being supportive and understanding as always, Kim. I look forward to seeing people engage others and challenge them into re-thinking their fetish words. Later!
I apologize if what I said came across as putting words in your mouth. My intention was not to make claims about what anyone said, but rather how I, and how it appeared that others, had interpreted things so that anything that had been misinterpreted could be corrected.

I'm glad things seem to be developing productively.
rat

Thanks for posing this question. It's a topic that definitely needs some careful thought.

The original context of the term is relevant, even if it is misused. There is another Japanese term, newhalf/(ニューハーフ)/nyūhāfu, in order to distinguish RL trans people from futanari, so I think that's important to factor in too. As it stems from another culture, it will continue to be in use regardless of our feelings on the matter.

I have also seen that many people use the term in its current context to indicate the separation between real life and fantasy. There does seem to be a lack of options in that regard. One of my concerns is that in an effort to be respectful, people may mistakenly ditch futa in favour of trans/intersex where it does not actually apply, and cause even further upset and blurring of lines.
Kim Site Admin

rat wrote:
One of my concerns is that in an effort to be respectful, people may mistakenly ditch futa in favour of trans/intersex where it does not actually apply, and cause even further upset and blurring of lines.

This is a huge concern of mine as well. A;though obviously we must draw a line when we know something is a definite slur, I just don't know enough yet to know if it's for sure always a slur rather than just a, well, porny word, and I don't think forcing fetish RPers to all move to the term "intersex" would actually reduce fetishization, objectification, or stigmatization in any way, it'd just make "intersex" a fetish term.
Kim wrote:
This is a huge concern of mine as well. A;though obviously we must draw a line when we know something is a definite slur, I just don't know enough yet to know if it's for sure always a slur rather than just a, well, porny word, and I don't think forcing fetish RPers to all move to the term "intersex" would actually reduce fetishization, objectification, or stigmatization in any way, it'd just make "intersex" a fetish term.

@OP: For pure clarification in answer to your topic, I believe it would be an acceptable word in accordance with the rules, I would think. So long as it's not used with intent to demean or degrade anyone, it's fine. It all depends on the context of how it is used... But that's on Kim to confirm that, though.
On the topic of it being an okay word to use in general... As a bigender person, I also have to agree with the quote above and what PrettySir said earlier. This is also coming from someone who does own what you would call a "futanari" OC. From a personal standpoint, I've yet to see futanari be used as anything but a pornographic indicator to what a person is looking for, never as an insult or a derogatory word. In fact, some people end up finding themselves or expressing their own transgender identity and sexuality through futanari or similar characters (like me, for instance), so I have to agree that it's an overall benign word. A pervy word, yes, but not 100% bad to use overall. Again, it depends on the context.

I understand where the negative connotations could come into play later on down the line, but as an unfortunate truth, fetishism is everywhere. I'm not saying this to belittle or demean the point of the conversation or anything as such since no one deserves to be fetishized against their will by anyone ever, but everything at some point has been fetishised throughout history: black people, white people, straight people, gay people, trans people, etc.. It's somewhat unavoidable since the human race is a procreative species with a small need to make things... interesting in order to continue the drive and will to reproduce.

But like rat mentioned, if futanari is not okay as a term here, then it may give others an easier out into using trans or intersex as stand-in terms, which may worsen the problem of fetishization. Some people might complain that they're being attacked over something that is their preference and not a full on fetish by regulating use of the term. And of course to get rid of fetishization (and thus, the need for this topic), you might have to get rid of sex first, I assume; that is a slippery slope of a topic that I'm not willing to discuss at the present moment.

I do understand the pain and heartache that can arise or has already arisen from something like this, since a lot of people don't wish to be seen as a sex object and nothing more than that (Some people do, maybe, but I can't knock those who like that sort of thing). As words evolve, the word 'futanari' might also end up taking on a negative connotation. And as a fellow trans person, I also agree that words like 'hermaphrodite' or 'trap' should never be used for any real-life human or otherwise. The first feels like you're reducing us to animals (like Sanne mentioned in her definition), and the second feels like you're accusing cross-dressing, transgender, or intersex people of lying about their own gender identity just to trick others. Futanari? Just feels sexual to me. Nothing too much wrong with it unless it gets out of hand with what it's trying to connotate.

But for now. I'm not against using it here. RPR still feels like a welcoming place with the term in play. Though I would like to see a word filter or something similar where you can block out or replace those kind of tricky words with more acceptable alternatives, or even a filter that removes roleplay ads and topics involving those words if people don't want to see those in their search results. I think that would help people be more comfortable if they don't want to see terms like this in a roleplay ad.
Isidro (played anonymously) Topic Starter

LightSide-Lucree wrote:
But for now. I'm not against using it here. RPR still feels like a welcoming place with the term in play. Though I would like to see a word filter or something similar where you can block out or replace those kind of tricky words with more acceptable alternatives, or even a filter that removes roleplay ads and topics involving those words if people don't want to see those in their search results. I think that would help people be more comfortable if they don't want to see terms like this in a roleplay ad.

I didn't intend to come back to this, but honestly, this would resolve the problem (and similar problems for other people) entirely. I'd love to see something like this.

My initial post was asking if it's an inappropriate word, and the answer I got was no. Problem solved on my end. I actually regret putting in ANY details about myself, I just figured it would help people to understand why I might have such a question.

And to everyone saying "well I haven't been called that" "I've never seen it used this way" etc... um... congratulations? I have. My friends have. Other people have, just because you haven't doesn't make it untrue. And don't say "sorry you feel that way" to anyone, that's really pretentious.
Actually, I'm pretty sure there are browser add-ons that will replace words for you. :) I'm pretty sure I had a friend mention such at some point, how they set theirs to change certain "political" phrases into... basically having the writer insult themself or make "subtle" racist and sexist remarks more clear as what they were.

I'm afraid I don't know what it was called, and I can't usefully look up browser extensions at the moment. But if something that would replace terms would help, maybe that could be useful to you even beyond RPR.
Sanne Moderator

Novalyyn wrote:
Actually, I'm pretty sure there are browser add-ons that will replace words for you. :) I'm pretty sure I had a friend mention such at some point, how they set theirs to change certain "political" phrases into... basically having the writer insult themself or make "subtle" racist and sexist remarks more clear as what they were.

I'm afraid I don't know what it was called, and I can't usefully look up browser extensions at the moment. But if something that would replace terms would help, maybe that could be useful to you even beyond RPR.

I found one for Chrome and also one for Firefox. I'm sure searching a browser's plugin store for "replace words" will yield a bunch of other options too!

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