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Forums > RP Discussion > I'll Rate your Character Profile

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Sup! I'm Kidd and I love looking at other peoples' characters and profiles.

If you're interested in getting some constructive criticism on them, throw the link in here. I'll gladly take a look.

There are multiple things I can comment on with any profile: how good it looks, how readable it is, the writing, the character itself, etc. If there's anything you want me to focus on (or ignore), let me know and I'll oblige!

*holds Venus up*

hello yes pls rate my gay disasterpiece <3 I tried a more concise profile style compared to what I usually do, and while I like it, I'm not sure if it's actually that great. it'll affect how I do my profiles in the future, so have at thee~

*plops Ukichi's profile here*

I'll be curious to see what you have to say. Also I don't know any coding, nor do I have epic, so don't judge me on that.

Venus wrote:
*holds Venus up*

hello yes pls rate my gay disasterpiece <3 I tried a more concise profile style compared to what I usually do, and while I like it, I'm not sure if it's actually that great. it'll affect how I do my profiles in the future, so have at thee~
I LOVE her.

Off the bat: I love that the OOC page is the "home" page. I don't personally do it with my characters, but when you label page names with quotes instead of boring stuff like "OOC", it's important to make sure potential partners have that information. So kudos on that. What I struggled with for a moment, however, was finding the pagination. It's quite small and nestled tightly at the bottom of the screen whereas most of the time, it's large and at the top. Maybe make it just a BIT bigger or, if possible, change the colors so it doesn't blend into the rest of the profile?

The layout/readability: Excellent. The font contrasts nicely against the background in both size and color. You definitely did well with keeping it concise as you mentioned. The "some feelings" page sums up everything you'd want to know about the character before jumping into a RP with her. The art for her is very well done and has lots of personality and is fun to look at. I also like that you have a third page for a more in-depth look at the history. The gifs you use add flavor and aren't overly distracting like they often are on profiles like this, so good job there, as well.

The disasterpiece herself: honestly this isn't very fair because buff ladies are my weakness :/// And I love her to pieces. I've mentioned the art, but I wanna add that it really helps with the feel you're going for with her. She definitely comes off as a punk/badass type of character--but also a party-er. Her personality and background tie together wonderfully, and almost nothing seems out of place with her. On the surface, she's clearly fun to role play with, but she offers depth, as well. I think my only disconnect in reading about her was that she has a fear of guns? That didn't quite click between being in a gang and her mother having been a cop. But you also tease much more in her history tab, so I can also trust it's justified.

Overall, I like the profile and Venus a lot!! It's clear that you've spent a lot of time developing this character and growing her into what she is, so awesome job

Kidd wrote:
Off the bat:

ahh, yes! the OOC is a new thing i was trying out because i've seen it commonly used in more advanced profiles. xP and trust me, i've certainly noticed how bad the navigation is, especially on mobile lmao. it is, unfortunately, not my own theme so i'm unsure of how to go about editing that! i'll have to play around with it.
Kidd wrote:
The layout/readability:

glad to hear i got everything!! and i'm happy you noticed her art, heh~ she's certainly my character with the most because she's just so darn fun to draw. odd as it sounds, drawing her has also helped me develop her, if that even makes any sense.
Kidd wrote:
The disasterpiece herself:

bruh, beefy ladies are literally my entire art and character aesthetic. friggin' love them. and trust me when i say she's much less of a toughie than she looks~ a giant teddy bear, if you might. explaining the whole "guns spook her" thing is a bit hard without some much needed context, hah. it's one of those things that doesn't really make sense on the surface, but an event in her recent canon provides an explanation for that~

thanks for yer review! much appreciated. <3

Ukichi wrote:
*plops Ukichi's profile here*

I'll be curious to see what you have to say. Also I don't know any coding, nor do I have epic, so don't judge me on that.
Off the bat: kiiitsune!!! I love kitsune characters and seeing how people interpret them.

The writing: my only complaint is the repetitiveness here and there. For the "appearance" paragraph, almost every sentence there starts with "The..." I'd recommend experimenting with the paragraph and seeing if you can spruce it up a bit. There's also a repetition of information. To keep it concise, I would take out the how in the human/normal fox appearance section. As in, where you tell the reader that she can shapeshift into looking like someone else if she has a part of them--you also have that information under abilities. Maybe instead--in that section--describe a human form she might prefer to take--if you ever RP her in that human form, anyway. The rest of the writing is really well done, though! And you do a good job of describing what the character is like.

Ukichi: Old characters are difficult to write. Ancient characters are even more difficult, I think, but you do a good job of developing her. Her nature and small beginnings makes it clear that she'd have no problem for surviving as long as she has. She's rightfully powerful and she's quite sympathetic: extracting revenge on those who have bullied her in the past is blatantly chaotic neutral thing to do. Her trickster-nature is defined even before you realize her power is to bring misfortune on others, so it's clear you're not just defining by her abilities. And I also like that she's open to potentially becoming a mother!

Overall: it's a good profile! Ukichi is an interesting character with a clear history as to why she is the way she is. And don't worry about the coding, tbh. Simple profiles are always easier to read and navigate, and I think that's the most important thing as far as #aesthetics go.

Oooo, yay, constructive criticism time! I'm curious about what you have to say about Esmie here. I'm mostly curious about what you think about her backstory, though as it says above it, it does reference self-harm, so please don't force yourself to read if you're uncomfortable with that.

*Casually offers Kallen since everyone else was doing that*

She's fairly new so I haven't checked or properly edited her yet so I'm sure there's quite a bit of mistakes everywhere >-< But I'm hoping you could also look her over...you seem respectable even with criticism so I'm happy to hear from you when you can >-< No rush! ;-;

*Just dumps four being in on profile*

Here you go.

Judge me, oh great one.

Thanks Kidd and I'll have to see about pruning out some of the repetition. Glad you like so much of her however as I really put my heart into her.

Esmeralda Wilkins wrote:
Oooo, yay, constructive criticism time! I'm curious about what you have to say about Esmie here. I'm mostly curious about what you think about her backstory, though as it says above it, it does reference self-harm, so please don't force yourself to read if you're uncomfortable with that.

Hey there! Off the bat, your profile is well organized and easy to read! I like that you have a page for Aiden, as well. However, you don't need to feel in all the information the default asks for. I feel like the list details for his scars, handedness, and relationship status can be deleted instead of being addressed with what's basically "well he's a baby so it's too soon to tell". I also really like the idea of a single mother character, struggling to make a name for herself and her child! It's a heavy topic and provides a lot of RP opportunity.

The character herself is well written, as well. Her struggles and goals are clear from reading about her and I feel she's easy to relate to, as well. Her situation is one a lot of girls end up dealing with far too early in life.

The criticism I do have comes more at the way you've written about her. There are gaps that I think need to be filled and places where you could be more descriptive. For example, you point out that she wears a "variety of outfits" but then choose one to focus on: the shirt with "Live Your Dreams" written on it. I think it would be more beneficial to describe the general style clothes she wears and note they are relatively worn.

Another example is that her parents went from "loving" to furious enough to kick their youngest daughter and grandchild to the curb. This is totally an okay heel-turn on their part, but I think you need some foreshadowing to give it context. Why is it so bad to have sex out of wedlock to them? Is the family religious? Again, it's okay to have this backstory, but it felt like her parents went from 0 to 100 while reading it.

Overall, I love the concept and the character! Esmeralda and Aiden provide a lot of opportunity for fun RP!

Just go full ham on him. There's probably gonna be a ton to complain about knowing how messy I work, and bear in mind the backstory section is MASSIVELY wip!

You're gonna hate this and me for it.

Do bear in mind that with a character of this scope, I've got some big plans going. And I'm in the middle of edits right now too, so you might see changes happen suddenly!

further edit: didn't realize i'm not the only void boy in this thread

Kallen Aibreann O wrote:
*Casually offers Kallen since everyone else was doing that*

She's fairly new so I haven't checked or properly edited her yet so I'm sure there's quite a bit of mistakes everywhere >-< But I'm hoping you could also look her over...you seem respectable even with criticism so I'm happy to hear from you when you can >-< No rush! ;-;

Whoa that's a helluva backstory!! xD I've never seen that much premise on a character's profile, so kudos to the creativity and the details. It tells me a LOT about Kallen's family...but it doesn't tell me much about herself. Also, is she aware of the family history in this detail? What you have is an awesome start, but I want to know more about Kallen, the title character. You write "for an unknown reason, she became rather violent..." but we should know. It's Kallen's story--not her parents. Don't be afraid to explore that.

In addition, what exactly earned her the title of Robin Hood? I think you intend for her to be someone who keeps to herself, but stands up to bullies? Maybe write an incident that really defines her into her history. Not filtering your words isn't enough to be named Robin Hood, I think, and you should specify what those words were or what they were about. Because as far as I know, she just has a potty mouth. But did she use it to stand up to a bully? A mean teacher? Protect or take the fall for someone else?

Other than that, the profile and the writing is well done. It has a lot of details and it's clear you put time and effort into it. I just want to know more about the character herself!

Vadraaghain wrote:
Just go full ham on him. There's probably gonna be a ton to complain about knowing how messy I work, and bear in mind the backstory section is MASSIVELY wip!

You're gonna hate this and me for it.

Omg you are so cruel, my friend!

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Forums > RP Discussion > I'll Rate your Character Profile