This honestly isn’t against anyone specifically, I’m just noticing a trend and it’s quite sad.
A lot of people here want people who are on their same level when it comes to roleplaying, which is totally understandable! But it gets be ridiculous when they get upset when someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience or bad grammar or any little thing wants to get better so they ask to rp with a more experienced person because they’ll learn more from it.
Maybe I’m just crazy but let people learn how to get better! If they only rp with people at their same level they can’t see good examples and it will take much longer for them to become amazing.
So please give them a small chance. Then you’ll get to see their growth and they might reach your level. Thanks!
A lot of people here want people who are on their same level when it comes to roleplaying, which is totally understandable! But it gets be ridiculous when they get upset when someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience or bad grammar or any little thing wants to get better so they ask to rp with a more experienced person because they’ll learn more from it.
Maybe I’m just crazy but let people learn how to get better! If they only rp with people at their same level they can’t see good examples and it will take much longer for them to become amazing.
So please give them a small chance. Then you’ll get to see their growth and they might reach your level. Thanks!
This is definitely to be encouraged! It can't be required, though. We all come here to enjoy ourselves, and it is not the job of anyone to teach anyone else or to deal with a game they don't enjoy just for the sake of a stranger who may actually not even want to improve. (Some really express no interest, and the ones that do don't always say so.) There is no harm in asking to RP with those one would like to learn from, that is great! But they have no obligation to agree.
If someone is getting turned down a lot, there are other ways to improve! Looking up writing tutorials, reading more (especially traditionally published books, which have been put through a rigorous editing process; reading online posts has too variable quality), reading through some of the public RPs to see how different people are posting... Even just writing stories and sharing them for critique.
Myself, I improved mostly through a mix of observation of people RPing around me and just plain getting older (the brain is still developing into the early 20s!). For a pretty good chunk of time, it was pretty hard for me to find people who'd RP with me. (Now... I just don't look much because I'm stupid slow at responding...) Yes, it feels so much better and it so much easier to focus when engaged in an RP, but... how engaging is someone going to be if they feel like they're basically just writing a story themself with a line or two occasionally thrown back, or if they keep tripping over technical mistakes as they're trying to read?
No one is really stopping anyone from getting better.
The folks that want to improve might just have to find other ways to work on it, like everyone else did.
If someone is getting turned down a lot, there are other ways to improve! Looking up writing tutorials, reading more (especially traditionally published books, which have been put through a rigorous editing process; reading online posts has too variable quality), reading through some of the public RPs to see how different people are posting... Even just writing stories and sharing them for critique.
Myself, I improved mostly through a mix of observation of people RPing around me and just plain getting older (the brain is still developing into the early 20s!). For a pretty good chunk of time, it was pretty hard for me to find people who'd RP with me. (Now... I just don't look much because I'm stupid slow at responding...) Yes, it feels so much better and it so much easier to focus when engaged in an RP, but... how engaging is someone going to be if they feel like they're basically just writing a story themself with a line or two occasionally thrown back, or if they keep tripping over technical mistakes as they're trying to read?
No one is really stopping anyone from getting better.
The folks that want to improve might just have to find other ways to work on it, like everyone else did.
I don’t think you quite understand what I’m getting at. I’m not requiring anything of anyone. I don’t care what you do just be kinder to those who are learning. I also never said you must stay in a game you aren’t enjoying. If you’re not enjoying it tell them why you’re leaving instead of just saying “you suck bye”
Well yeah. "Be nice" is literally a rule on RPR.
What I'm saying is that your post will have its greatest effect on people who are already stressed about if they're being nice enough, and can seem like shaming them for turning down or leaving something they find unpleasant. There is a difference between encouraging a behavior you want and shaming people into the behavior you want.
What I'm saying is that your post will have its greatest effect on people who are already stressed about if they're being nice enough, and can seem like shaming them for turning down or leaving something they find unpleasant. There is a difference between encouraging a behavior you want and shaming people into the behavior you want.
Look I’m shaming anyone because I turn down things a lot too, I’m saying that you shouldn’t turn down everything because someone isn’t the best. Because I have seen someone literally go from writing two lines while I’m writing paragraphs and in a week they were trying to write paragraphs with me.
*Not shaming
Even someone who is old and has been doing this forever makes mistakes
Even someone who is old and has been doing this forever makes mistakes
There's something I noticed ever since I started RPing on forums years ago. And that's the concept of levels. Literate, Semi-Literate, and Illiterate were the levels I saw first. Then they became Literate, Semi, and Beginner. But honestly, I feel like that system in general is very misleading and degrading. While they are supposed to be used as a quick label in order to establish similar 'levels' of writing, they often misrepresented the people within the groups. Literates often had big heads, Beginners tended to care less or were outright insulted, and Semi's avoided the conflicts between the other groups.
I think that growing, while it can be boosted by others, it still a personal thing. I've RPed with a great range of people, and what it comes down to is, "Do I enjoy reading what they write?"
One thing I love to do is to reread old or current long running RPs. And doing this often gave me more perspective on how I write. What I did like and what I didn't like. (Cringing is the best medicine and butt kicker.) If I find someone who I enjoy reading, I basically sponged off their style while analyzing my own in order to get a better reading experience. For a time, I became a mirror. I did what I could to reflect my character's writing style and that was what helped me grow the most.
And the RP that helped me grow the most was one that I started with another player who wrote just as little as I did. A few sentences at a time, little but little while the group we started in died around us. We never became friends, we never talked that much OOC, but we wrote together, post after post that developed from short single paragraphs into full scenes that touched on romance and gore and angst. Just towering blocks of text that hurt to go through now. And it went on for 3 years until the thing quietly died of neglect.
I wrote with other people during that RP, but that RP in particular had something different than the others. Both me and my partner were mirrors. I brought whatever I learned from other RPs into that one, and I would see that being spit back out at me to reabsorb. It really gave me some perspective on what my growth looked like. And then I just started writing what I liked to read.
While other people can help me grow, I'm still the one doing most of the work when it comes to improving. I personally don't like the idea of trying to change someone's writing style in any hands on way or thinking of RPing in terms of levels. I've RPed with a lot of people in the recent months where I just don't like their style. And I've had people who wanted to make it work, but there are times when that's just not possible with the current state of things.
I'm all for growth and improvement, but when I personally am just not enjoying myself with their writing, I'm not going to attempt to inspire some kind of change or stick through it just because they have less experience than I do. Unless... someone offered to pay me. I'd stick it through at that point, but the day that ends up being a thing is when I will be questioning where I am. Both physically and existentially.
I think that growing, while it can be boosted by others, it still a personal thing. I've RPed with a great range of people, and what it comes down to is, "Do I enjoy reading what they write?"
One thing I love to do is to reread old or current long running RPs. And doing this often gave me more perspective on how I write. What I did like and what I didn't like. (Cringing is the best medicine and butt kicker.) If I find someone who I enjoy reading, I basically sponged off their style while analyzing my own in order to get a better reading experience. For a time, I became a mirror. I did what I could to reflect my character's writing style and that was what helped me grow the most.
And the RP that helped me grow the most was one that I started with another player who wrote just as little as I did. A few sentences at a time, little but little while the group we started in died around us. We never became friends, we never talked that much OOC, but we wrote together, post after post that developed from short single paragraphs into full scenes that touched on romance and gore and angst. Just towering blocks of text that hurt to go through now. And it went on for 3 years until the thing quietly died of neglect.
I wrote with other people during that RP, but that RP in particular had something different than the others. Both me and my partner were mirrors. I brought whatever I learned from other RPs into that one, and I would see that being spit back out at me to reabsorb. It really gave me some perspective on what my growth looked like. And then I just started writing what I liked to read.
While other people can help me grow, I'm still the one doing most of the work when it comes to improving. I personally don't like the idea of trying to change someone's writing style in any hands on way or thinking of RPing in terms of levels. I've RPed with a lot of people in the recent months where I just don't like their style. And I've had people who wanted to make it work, but there are times when that's just not possible with the current state of things.
I'm all for growth and improvement, but when I personally am just not enjoying myself with their writing, I'm not going to attempt to inspire some kind of change or stick through it just because they have less experience than I do. Unless... someone offered to pay me. I'd stick it through at that point, but the day that ends up being a thing is when I will be questioning where I am. Both physically and existentially.
Mayiamaru wrote:
There's something I noticed ever since I started RPing on forums years ago. And that's the concept of levels. Literate, Semi-Literate, and Illiterate were the levels I saw first. Then they became Literate, Semi, and Beginner. But honestly, I feel like that system in general is very misleading and degrading. While they are supposed to be used as a quick label in order to establish similar 'levels' of writing, they often misrepresented the people within the groups. Literates often had big heads, Beginners tended to care less or were outright insulted, and Semi's avoided the conflicts between the other groups.
I think that growing, while it can be boosted by others, it still a personal thing. I've RPed with a great range of people, and what it comes down to is, "Do I enjoy reading what they write?"
One thing I love to do is to reread old or current long running RPs. And doing this often gave me more perspective on how I write. What I did like and what I didn't like. (Cringing is the best medicine and butt kicker.) If I find someone who I enjoy reading, I basically sponged off their style while analyzing my own in order to get a better reading experience. For a time, I became a mirror. I did what I could to reflect my character's writing style and that was what helped me grow the most.
And the RP that helped me grow the most was one that I started with another player who wrote just as little as I did. A few sentences at a time, little but little while the group we started in died around us. We never became friends, we never talked that much OOC, but we wrote together, post after post that developed from short single paragraphs into full scenes that touched on romance and gore and angst. Just towering blocks of text that hurt to go through now. And it went on for 3 years until the thing quietly died of neglect.
I wrote with other people during that RP, but that RP in particular had something different than the others. Both me and my partner were mirrors. I brought whatever I learned from other RPs into that one, and I would see that being spit back out at me to reabsorb. It really gave me some perspective on what my growth looked like. And then I just started writing what I liked to read.
While other people can help me grow, I'm still the one doing most of the work when it comes to improving. I personally don't like the idea of trying to change someone's writing style in any hands on way or thinking of RPing in terms of levels. I've RPed with a lot of people in the recent months where I just don't like their style. And I've had people who wanted to make it work, but there are times when that's just not possible with the current state of things.
I'm all for growth and improvement, but when I personally am just not enjoying myself with their writing, I'm not going to attempt to inspire some kind of change or stick through it just because they have less experience than I do. Unless... someone offered to pay me. I'd stick it through at that point, but the day that ends up being a thing is when I will be questioning where I am. Both physically and existentially.
I think that growing, while it can be boosted by others, it still a personal thing. I've RPed with a great range of people, and what it comes down to is, "Do I enjoy reading what they write?"
One thing I love to do is to reread old or current long running RPs. And doing this often gave me more perspective on how I write. What I did like and what I didn't like. (Cringing is the best medicine and butt kicker.) If I find someone who I enjoy reading, I basically sponged off their style while analyzing my own in order to get a better reading experience. For a time, I became a mirror. I did what I could to reflect my character's writing style and that was what helped me grow the most.
And the RP that helped me grow the most was one that I started with another player who wrote just as little as I did. A few sentences at a time, little but little while the group we started in died around us. We never became friends, we never talked that much OOC, but we wrote together, post after post that developed from short single paragraphs into full scenes that touched on romance and gore and angst. Just towering blocks of text that hurt to go through now. And it went on for 3 years until the thing quietly died of neglect.
I wrote with other people during that RP, but that RP in particular had something different than the others. Both me and my partner were mirrors. I brought whatever I learned from other RPs into that one, and I would see that being spit back out at me to reabsorb. It really gave me some perspective on what my growth looked like. And then I just started writing what I liked to read.
While other people can help me grow, I'm still the one doing most of the work when it comes to improving. I personally don't like the idea of trying to change someone's writing style in any hands on way or thinking of RPing in terms of levels. I've RPed with a lot of people in the recent months where I just don't like their style. And I've had people who wanted to make it work, but there are times when that's just not possible with the current state of things.
I'm all for growth and improvement, but when I personally am just not enjoying myself with their writing, I'm not going to attempt to inspire some kind of change or stick through it just because they have less experience than I do. Unless... someone offered to pay me. I'd stick it through at that point, but the day that ends up being a thing is when I will be questioning where I am. Both physically and existentially.
Like I said before you don’t have stay with something you’re not enjoying and you certainly don’t have inspire them to get better. I’m simply saying please don’t be a jerk a about it. There’s definitely a reason that you’re not enjoying it so tell them. It’s helpful for both parties instead of just leaving them. And it is prefectly fine to leave an rp you hate
If that's the case then I feel like this is less of an issue of giving people a chance and more about being able to communicate properly.
Or even more specifically, ghosting or aggression.
I've gotten aggression from people who were insulted that I would ask for a writing sample.
A good thing for this is just, teaching people how to reject other people. Because that in itself is also a learning process.
I once rejected someone for an RP with the common line I've been using lately, "I'm sorry, I don't think I'd like to start this RP for preferential reasons related to your style." And they messaged me back asking me to critique them. It was refreshing.
But most of the time, I find that being more specific can end up being insulting. Offering critique off the bat can trigger a lot of aggression in people, but being able to reject someone productively is definitely something that I feel is lacking in a lot of RP communities. Mostly because a lot of people are extremely anxious. Or because they consider judgement to be inherently bad or rude. Which is isn't.
Or even more specifically, ghosting or aggression.
I've gotten aggression from people who were insulted that I would ask for a writing sample.
A good thing for this is just, teaching people how to reject other people. Because that in itself is also a learning process.
I once rejected someone for an RP with the common line I've been using lately, "I'm sorry, I don't think I'd like to start this RP for preferential reasons related to your style." And they messaged me back asking me to critique them. It was refreshing.
But most of the time, I find that being more specific can end up being insulting. Offering critique off the bat can trigger a lot of aggression in people, but being able to reject someone productively is definitely something that I feel is lacking in a lot of RP communities. Mostly because a lot of people are extremely anxious. Or because they consider judgement to be inherently bad or rude. Which is isn't.
I think short term RP's can be a potential solution to some of this. Several days or weeks, with a certain predetermined endpoint. I can see all the points made on this all around.
Mayiamaru wrote:
A good thing for this is just, teaching people how to reject other people. Because that in itself is also a learning process.
I also think teaching people how to accept rejection is equally as important. A lot of the time, people have a lot of bad experiences where 'no' was equal to 'you're terrible and I don't like you' or they simply never learned how to deal with rejection at all, so when they get a 'no' that just means 'I just don't feel up to it for whatever reason', they take it more personal than it's intended. It's not uncommon unfortunately, but I feel RPR has always focused on helping people communicate better!
About the topic, if I'm understanding this correctly PrincessMarshmellow, your post is about how people are mean to new players who ask for RP from seasoned roleplayers because they're new? That's a very valid point, an inexperienced roleplayer shouldn't be treated poorly by experienced players just because they're new. There's nothing wrong with them reaching out and asking for help, that's a really good thing we should all embrace! Roleplaying with more experienced people is a great way for newbies to improve, and I dare say vital as well. Sometimes we need to try something new, like playing with newbies, because you never know what kind of friendships and adventures can come from it.
If you're not in a position to be able to do that, that's fine too, but since many won't even consider it at all in the first place I support a reminder for people to try and broaden their horizons.I have a feeling what's throwing people off is that your original post can also be read from an angle where you're encouraging experienced players to put aside their preferences and take a newbie under their wing, and if they don't do this they're being unfair (which would make people feel pressured to do something they don't want to do). That's for sure not what you're trying to communicate here at all, but I suspect this is what people are interpreting. I hope this may clarify it?
The same thing has happened to me. I've been role-playing for 10 years. The other roleplayers didn't think my writing was up to par. After the roleplay ended they deleted me as a freind also.
We were all new once! I definitely remember my blunder years, as well as all the people that were patient and kind enough to help me gain confidence and skill as a writer.
Kindness goes such a long way, and follows people all through their lives. The way we talk to someone can become the way they view themselves, so even if we're not interested in starting a scene with someone, I think we can all endeavor to be kind in our interaction with them.
Kindness goes such a long way, and follows people all through their lives. The way we talk to someone can become the way they view themselves, so even if we're not interested in starting a scene with someone, I think we can all endeavor to be kind in our interaction with them.
You definitely understood where I was trying to get at
Hi there,
I can understand your frustration! But some of this seems a little bit heated (it's made me a bit nervous) so I am going to lock it. It appears to me that some people are offering their own opinions and advice, and in response, may be causing some potential frustration.
I'm sorry that your experiences haven't been, in your mind, ideal - and I hope you find better luck in the future!
- Cass
I can understand your frustration! But some of this seems a little bit heated (it's made me a bit nervous) so I am going to lock it. It appears to me that some people are offering their own opinions and advice, and in response, may be causing some potential frustration.
I'm sorry that your experiences haven't been, in your mind, ideal - and I hope you find better luck in the future!
- Cass
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