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Forums » RP Discussion » How to deal with my shyness?

BadDrawingsForSale

Hey there y’all, you probably don’t know me because I’m new and tend to keep to myself but I think I have a serious problem.. I’m way too shy to join or start roleplays here, I just feel too much anxiety and fear of denial, don’t get me wrong from what I can tell you guys are all wonderful people it’s just I feel like I couldn’t fit in and I would stand out like a pigeon in a pile of Parrots, I just thought I would make this to talk about myself in a way where I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable and stressed out so here it goes:

I’m Gage (Aka BadDrawingsForSale) and I really wanna Roleplay and be good at it so much it’s killing me from the inside out, I get pumped and ready to Roleplay but as soon as I see more than a paragraph I get intimidated and back down, I feel as though my characters wouldn’t fit properly in any situation and that I wouldn’t be able to morph myself into their shoes (well some of them don’t wear shoes) and it’s such a shame because I got so many freaking good ideas I wanna share but I feel like I would be rejected...

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So anyways thanks for reading my little venting session ^_^
My suggestion to you as a fellow shy person is to realize that you are going to at some point be rejected. It happens to everyone and more often than not has very little to do with you than it does the other person. Make yourself comfortable with the idea. Prepare to make and lose partners, but try and find at least one reliable person to write with long term. You’ll be better off than a lot of people with even just that one close partner.

There’s no knowing what will happen unless you put yourself out there.
Hoo yes, what Lune is describing is actually referred to as "coping ahead" in real therapy! Where as with "catastrophising" you're winding yourself up on all the potential things that could go wrong and how horrible and awful they are, coping ahead involves taking time to consider what is actually likely to happen, what it is you are worried about, how it would realistically play out; imagine it in as clear detail as you can, trying to fill in all your senses; and instead of stopping there, you work through how to deal with each individual case. This way, when issues do come up, you have plans in place already to help you through. :)

Aside from that... when I joined this site, I actually just decided for once that I was going to try diving right in. I've been through a lot of sites, and as time wore on, I'd do less each time I joined a place and just end up leaving feeling lonely and rejected. So I figured I'd try just jumping into activity here, getting involved in stuff right from the getgo. And I haven't regretted it at all. :) (I have managed to fall out of that mindset, though... I know people are awesome here, but it's still an ongoing effort to get past the icky feelings, and it's contributed a lot to the difficulty for me to RP lately.)
I can understand and relate to the feelings. However, I bet you'll do great. Trust me when I say, there are people of all different skill levels on here and all different lengths. Creating art is an act of vulnerability, it's true. It makes one vulnerable. I think that's one reason people on here are usually pretty nice to one another (in addition to the "be nice" rule). It might help to keep in mind that the other person, whoever you're going to RP with, is probably also worried, at least a little bit, about the same things that you are. They're making themselves vulnerable too. They're hoping for your acceptance too. Thinking about it that way might make it seem less intimidating. They're just people who want to write, just like you, and chances are they'll just really appreciate having a writing partner. :)
LakotaSiouxWarrior

I was extremely shy and have had a hard time opening up to people. Since joining here I'm more outgoing and engaging. I had a couple of bad times but there are some really blessed beautiful wonderful freinds to be found on RPRepository.

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