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Forums > Help > Blocked and friends?

So, I recently came across a Looking For RP forum post from somebody that I befriended and RPed with a while ago. Back then, though, they rarely responded and, at one point, stopped responding altogether for well over a month. I deleted the conversation, thinking that they either didn’t want to RP with me anymore or that they weren’t going to be coming back on.

Anyways, I went to reply to their forum post to say that I was interested only to get text saying that that person blocked me. I’m still listed as friends with this person so that just leaves me more confused. Why block me but keep me as a friend still?

I guess my question is: is there any way at all that I could contact the person and ask why they blocked me?

For your question... no, not really. Attempting to contact someone who has blocked you is considered harassment.

They may have forgotten that had friended you though, or have assumed that blocking you would automatically unfriend you, too. You could wait a bit, give them time to see this in case the blocking was actually an accident (pretty rare, but possible). Or if it bothers you, you could go ahead and unfriend them yourself.

Blocking without knowing what happened is never fun. Many of us have experienced it, and there are a lot of possible reasons why it might have happened. Usually, it's just a case of poor communication; the person who did the blocking not really knowing how to handle a potential conflict or fearing at attempt to convince then to keep playing, so blocking seems like the best option to them.

Anyway, you're not alone. It's just one of those things we must learn to deal with.

Novalyyn hit the nail on the head!

Fastgirl01 wrote:
Anyways, I went to reply to their forum post to say that I was interested only to get text saying that that person blocked me. I’m still listed as friends with this person so that just leaves me more confused. Why block me but keep me as a friend still?

To answer your question here, they are no longer friends with you because if they block you, it removes their connection to you, but you still have a one-sided connection with them. The RPR friend system works like this:

If someone sends you a friend request, you can choose whether to accept and friend them back, accept but not friend them back (meaning they get updates on what you do in their feed, but you are not connected back and therefore don't see anything they do in your feed), or deny the request.

When you both are connected as friends but the other person blocks you, their side of the connection to you, where they see your activity, is removed. But the connection isn't broken on your side, you can still see their activity in your feed. I don't know the exact reason why the block feature works this way, Kim will have to elaborate for more details, but this is how it currently works.

This user is likely unaware that this connection still exists, although they have the ability to break this tie in the Friendlist as do you. If they never reach out to you directly and the block continues to exist on their end, it would be safe to assume they don't want to get in touch with you. If seeing their activity is stressful to you, I also recommend breaking the tie entirely.

I'm sorry you're left without an answer, but I hope this information can help you move forward and allow you to focus on the people who want to interact with you. :)

Sanne wrote:
Novalyyn hit the nail on the head!
Fastgirl01 wrote:
Anyways, I went to reply to their forum post to say that I was interested only to get text saying that that person blocked me. I’m still listed as friends with this person so that just leaves me more confused. Why block me but keep me as a friend still?

To answer your question here, they are no longer friends with you because if they block you, it removes their connection to you, but you still have a one-sided connection with them.

I don't think blocking, as currently written, touches the friend system in any way. Will fix in 2.0 though!

I have a quick question to add to this.... This could be a really rather stupid but but here goes, why is it considered harassment to simply try asking that person why they blocked you? Say for example, it happens literally out of nowhere, RP going strong, no conflicts or signs or issues, but they just up and block you. After awhile of waiting it's obvious it isn't an accident, but trying to figure out what happened is like trying to talk to a brick wall... Literally... Is it really so bad that we can't even be offered a final message as a form of apology or something?

Freaysia wrote:
I have a quick question to add to this.... This could be a really rather stupid but but here goes, why is it considered harassment to simply try asking that person why they blocked you? Say for example, it happens literally out of nowhere, RP going strong, no conflicts or signs or issues, but they just up and block you. After awhile of waiting it's obvious it isn't an accident, but trying to figure out what happened is like trying to talk to a brick wall... Literally... Is it really so bad that we can't even be offered a final message as a form of apology or something?

It's considered harassment because that person has chosen to cease contact for their own reasons. They are permitted to do this whether they discuss it with anyone else or not. It's a matter of self-protection, privacy, and safety and any attempts to breach this is considered harassment in part due to the block being their way of telling you "I don't want to continue contact." It doesn't matter if everything was going well or not.

Freaysia wrote:
I have a quick question to add to this.... This could be a really rather stupid but but here goes, why is it considered harassment to simply try asking that person why they blocked you? Say for example, it happens literally out of nowhere, RP going strong, no conflicts or signs or issues, but they just up and block you. After awhile of waiting it's obvious it isn't an accident, but trying to figure out what happened is like trying to talk to a brick wall... Literally... Is it really so bad that we can't even be offered a final message as a form of apology or something?

I totally understand what it's like to be left without this info. As someone who is eternally trying to do better, I recognize the need to have data to accomplish that and how valuable input from others is.

The bottom line here is that people don't owe you that information, no matter how hurtful or difficult it is to not know why. Setting boundaries is important, and respecting those boundaries is too. Otherwise the implication is that the blocker's needs are irrelevant, which is extremely unkind and disrespectful. If they feel up to sharing those reasons, they can share them when they feel ready, not when someone else thinks they should be.

Yes. Someone hitting the block button is saying, loudly and clearly, "I no longer feel comfortable interacting with this person at all; I no longer want to have any contact with them, period."

When you try to message them and see that you are blocked, you have received this clear message from them. They have told you: I am uncomfortable. Do not talk to me.

Hitting a boundary like this, especially when it's a surprise, can feel awful. It can be confusing. It can cause you to grieve for a time. Those are natural and understandable responses.

However, choosing to ignore that loud and clear message to ask them to explain why shows you are ignoring a clearly stated boundary and demanding something from them they have told you via blocking they are not willing to give.

You are showing you prioritize your comfort over theirs (which can be okay sometimes) but more than that, you are showing that you feel that they should prioritize your comfort over theirs, too (which is not okay.)

This can be really tough. It sucks. No one likes it. You may feel like, how can I avoid making other people uncomfortable in the future if no one will tell me why they are uncomfortable?? Which is a valid frustration. But it is not the job of other people to educate you.

But here's a potential clue: if your first impulse on being blocked is to find a way around that block (ie, ignoring the boundary they put in place because it is inconvenient to you,) this may be a personality trait that is coming through in other ways and making people feel that having a discussion with you wherein they ask for boundaries to be respected may not go well. And if that IS the reason they blocked first, you simply confirm to them that they were right in their suspicious that you won't respect their boundaries.

TLDR; When someone tells you "Leave me alone," refusing to do so until or unless they give you a reason to do so that they feel is valid is harassment.

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Forums > Help > Blocked and friends?