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Forums > Smalltalk > Being blocked: Sadness is not innocence

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Selkieborn wrote:

It could be a full schedule, or a heightened stress environment or abusive or all three. We just don't know.

Yes such a huge factor. We just don't know. For lots of reasons.

When I first joined RPR my abusive partner at the time forced me to cut off communication with several people and eventually was not happy until I stopped RPing as a whole. So I left for a long while. Until that relationship thankfully ended and I found my passion for writing again and RPR.

There's so many reasons for this stuff even outside of 'they were uncomfortable'. Sometimes peoples partners and parents (even parents of grown adults) force/threaten/manipulate them to block people or stop talking to certain people, espeically if they monitor their messages and don't like what they see.

Kingbaconporkchop wrote:
I am guilty of making one of these “blocked for no reason” post. I was upset in the moment because I didn’t know what I did wrong, and it caused me to jump the gun, which also caused me to word my post in a way i didn’t want it to sound. I honestly probably shouldn’t have made a post about it in the first place.

I understand that there’s always a reason for one to block you. I just wish commutation was better sometimes.

I don’t think people should insult any party, because no one knows what happened behind the scenes (except for the 2 people involved)


Again I wish things could be discussed more but I understand there’s people that just aren’t comfortable with that, and that’s okay, everyone should be comfortable on this community.
Thank you for your honesty and willingness to learn and grow. :)

Just to be clear, I'd really like this thread to be a call to action for people to be more self-aware in general, and more sympathetic toward those who block or even just vanish without a word. Take more care not to insult them and remember there might be some hidden very big reason for things.

Be more understanding of problems before trying to make demands.

Novalyyn wrote:
Just to be clear, I'd really like this thread to be a call to action for people to be more self-aware in general, and more sympathetic toward those who block or even just vanish without a word. Take more care not to insult them and remember there might be some hidden very big reason for things.

Be more understanding of problems before trying to make demands.

In total agreement with this.

Now this is some solidly wholesome content. <3

Thank you for saying it. It needed to be said. <3

If there was a means beyond just posting to show my appreciation for a thread like this, I would give it. (Thumbs up, like, vote up, etc). Alas there is not so this post will have to suffice. :D

It at least makes me glad to see all the folks on the same page about this, and I appreciate those who have shared their side of why the block for their courage in coming forward to help better show and express it. <3

And oh snap, admin approval! ^^

I got blocked from someone and it really hurts especially since I know I didn't do anything wrong. I was actually trying to help them. They were getting too close to the line regarding the rule that must not be broken and I was trying to ensure that they didn't step over it. So I very reluctantly asked for the help of a staff member since I figured they could do a better job explaining it then I could.

Well later they asked me why I did it explaining why they thought it wasn't a problem, while their explanation still had a problem because I had asked about the exact same thing to Kim once before. I wrote a response detailing why I reported them and that my intention had been to help them avoid getting into trouble. I did this as soon as I saw the mail, but I guess they thought I had ignore them since it had been two hours since they sent that mail and it said I was online, so they blocked me which I found out when I tried to send my explanation. I hadn't actually been online sadly as I am the only one who uses this computer so I never bother to log out. I just wish I could have explained my actions to them, I really do. X.X

Anyway my story aside, sometimes people get blocked for no reason, bu you never know what their reason may be when someone talks about being blocked. They might have had a good reason for it, so it's best not to assume that they were the one's in the wrong.

I'm sorry to hear that, Katia, but this thread is not meant to be a place to discuss how it stings to be blocked and especially not to place blame (no matter how justified it may feel) on someone for blocking. The goal is to help the community become a place where more people feel more comfortable trying other things before we push to try to make anyone block less. It's a little unfair to ask them to stop doing what makes them feel safe if the rest of us aren't going to better try to help them feel safe.

And there was still a reason. People tend to feel betrayed when "tattled" on.

I am glad that you do your best to support the rules, though, especially since our mods are pretty awesome with how they handle things. :)

My apologies Novalyn, the whole incident had festered a bit and I guess I just really wanted to get it off my chest. Also I know that they had a reason for blocking me, just that I didn't feel like it was a case where I did anything.


Anyway I'm not saying that people should stop blocking as it is an important feature and if people feel the need to block, especially if someone makes them feel unsafe, then they should.

Honestly, it's kinda like everyone has said on here. And I only just noticed it due to Kim lol! So thanks Kim ! But man...it is just amazing to see how you FULLY understand BOTH sides. I've been blocked. I've been lied about. And honestly? I deserved that block so long ago.

I'll admit that. I grew from it, and thusly why I don't regret it happening. I grew from every circumstance that has happened to me OOCly when I was blocked. So I'll never say I wasn't at fault. Normally, if someone is hurt in a relationship, either both or one person did wrong. Period.

But I've also been a bit "block-happy" as you put it. However for GOOD reasons. I have long learned that trying to change someones OOC habits that hurt me in a game is POINTLESS!!! You CANNOT control people. That's the first lesson I think we all need to try and remind ourselves about. So If I cannot control people who hurt me intently or unintentionally; then I need to be able to at least control the situation. AKA blocking them. It's a necessary wall at times as well that I've put up when arguing with someone, to gain control of my emotions and look at a problem logically, not emotionally. No it's not fair, yes it hurts. But you've already hurt me if you've got me to this point as well. So in my opinion, it's a two way street majority of the time.

There was in fact, one instance recently as you mentioned Nova, where I was told straight to my face why they were angry at me. and I felt BAD but it wasn't anything I was intentionally doing however. I was strong and mature enough at this point to go. "Well I'll never bother anybody in your circle ever again if that's how it's effecting you." and I've stuck to it really.

If you are causing anyone pain, your first reaction should be to never repeat it. Blocking is a sign you hurt someone, so whatever you did? Don't repeat it. Look back LOGICALLY not emotionally on the convo, and see where they started to show signs of discomfort or pain. Just a thought ^-^

Moved the previous post here to a more appropriate forum so as not to detract from the original purpose of this thread.

Michonne wrote:
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Honestly, it's kinda like everyone has said on here. And I only just noticed it due to Kim lol! So thanks Kim ! But man...it is just amazing to see how you FULLY understand BOTH sides. I've been blocked. I've been lied about. And honestly? I deserved that block so long ago.

I'll admit that. I grew from it, and thusly why I don't regret it happening. I grew from every circumstance that has happened to me OOCly when I was blocked. So I'll never say I wasn't at fault. Normally, if someone is hurt in a relationship, either both or one person did wrong. Period.

But I've also been a bit "block-happy" as you put it. However for GOOD reasons. I have long learned that trying to change someones OOC habits that hurt me in a game is POINTLESS!!! You CANNOT control people. That's the first lesson I think we all need to try and remind ourselves about. So If I cannot control people who hurt me intently or unintentionally; then I need to be able to at least control the situation. AKA blocking them. It's a necessary wall at times as well that I've put up when arguing with someone, to gain control of my emotions and look at a problem logically, not emotionally. No it's not fair, yes it hurts. But you've already hurt me if you've got me to this point as well. So in my opinion, it's a two way street majority of the time.

There was in fact, one instance recently as you mentioned Nova, where I was told straight to my face why they were angry at me. and I felt BAD but it wasn't anything I was intentionally doing however. I was strong and mature enough at this point to go. "Well I'll never bother anybody in your circle ever again if that's how it's effecting you." and I've stuck to it really.

If you are causing anyone pain, your first reaction should be to never repeat it. Blocking is a sign you hurt someone, so whatever you did? Don't repeat it. Look back LOGICALLY not emotionally on the convo, and see where they started to show signs of discomfort or pain. Just a thought ^-^
That is a good thought, and self-introspection is always a good thing to have, but sometimes, you just have no idea what you did and there's no way for you to find out, because now they have blocked you and you can't ask.

It's a lot harder to learn from your mistake if you don't know what your mistake is, and often the best way to find out what our mistakes are, is to ask an honest friend. Just thinking logically about a situation won't always help, because as important as logic is, it can't provide you with one important piece of the puzzle--the thoughts behind the person who blocked you.

EDIT: To clarify, I am not saying that blocking isn't a thing that should be allowed. I do understand that sometimes the person can't deal with the issues, and has no other recourse available to them, and in some cases it's the healthiest thing to do out of the options available. This post is merely an attempt to clarify some of the issues that naturally come along with being blocked.

There was a thing or two said in this thread that I wanted to express agreement on. the main one being--likewise, if I have ever hurt someone by piling on where I shouldn't...I too apologize. I have a tendency to take most things at face value, at least initially, and I realize this is at least to some degree, a failing of mine. The flip side being, it's easier to gain my trust, but that's a thing for another time.

EDIT--removed part of this to keep the subject on topic

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Forums > Smalltalk > Being blocked: Sadness is not innocence