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Forums > RP Discussion > The struggle with RPing with fat/plus size chara's

So... This is something I've dealt with since pretty much joining the RP scene in general, but RPR espeically.

This is a lovely place, ups, downs and everything else in between. It's my Roleplay home and I never want that to change...

However, one thing I have had an issue with from the beginning is finding people who want to roleplay their characters with my fat characters.


Note: I say fat as a descriptor only. I am fat myself, and the word is one that has been reclaimed by the community so to speak of fat people, to discredit and devalue the 'insult'.


I created and uploaded very very little of them, none in fact, for the first almost two years that I was part of this website because there seemed/seems to be very little genuine and non-fetish related interest in plus size characters.

People seem to be either completely uninterested in romance RP's specifically with fat characters, or their are a few who are interested but...in a fetishizing manner that makes me very uncomfortable especially as a plus size woman. I don't want my characters involved in that for personal reasons and I don't enjoy writing it.

It super duper sucks having my only two options for my fat characters with fleshed out personalities and backstories, be nothing, or fetish RP.

It really sucks for people to still have the idea that thin/curvy/fit characters (and people in general) = beautiful but fat is some kind of no-no and ugly, unwanted for RP by most people.

For a while this really made me feel hopeless. I had uploaded several fat characters, failed in finding them RP, and deleted them after so many months of nothing made me feel incredibly sad. It is very disheartening to feel like and straight up see that only the conventionally/socially acceptably attractive thin, smaller curvy and fit characters are all most people are interested in.

This year however, especially the last couple months and the last month specifically, I decided... hell with it. I love my characters, I want my fat characters to have pretty, organized, and wonderful RPR pages just like the rest. It make take forever to find someone to RP with them, or it might never happen, which is sad but... doesn't mean I can't try, doesn't mean I can't have them up and do my best.

They deserve to be written with as much as my other characters, and other people not being interested doesn't mean there's something wrong with them.

Maybe one day it will be easier, I hope so. For now it's still a struggle, but I can't let it keep my from creating and uploading my characters and trying.

Part of it, at least for me anyway, is that RP is not just a hobby, but an also an escape from reality. In real life, I'm fat and consider myself ugly, so when I am rping, I like to rp using fit characters which gives me a break from the reality of my actual body. I can briefly pretend that I am pretty even if only through the eyes of my characters.

That also means I am not too interested in rping with fat characters since that kind of ruins my escape since I am reminded that I am really more like the fat character then my own character. That being said, there are a few characters I have where I would entertain the idea of rping with a fat character if they are interesting enough.

I bet it stems from the overwhelming guilt / self loathing that many fat people feel about their own bodies. I think that people who have never been truely overweight understand the constant, intimate awareness a fat person feels about their own bodies at all times. It's an overwhelming, horrific way to live and it's not something people want to think about while RPing. By its very definition it's a game about taking on a fictional role, and for many fat people there's no greater fantasy than... being 'average' sized.

This relates to art but it's something that really spoke to me and I think it applies here too. I once bought an art book and the first exercise was 'do a self portrait'. And the idea of staring at my own face in the mirror of an extended time was so abhorrent, so confronting, that I couldn't even begin the exercises.

Here's another article - it really shook me when I first read it because it put a lot of feelings I've felt my whole life into words. I couldn't even settle my nerves enough to sleep that evening.

But the part I think relevant is

Quote:
Harrop, the eating disorders researcher, realized several years ago that her university had clubs for trans students, immigrant students, Republican students, but none for fat students. So she started one—and it has been a resounding, unmitigated failure. Only a handful of fat people have ever showed up; most of the time, thin folks sit around brainstorming about how to be better allies.

I ask Harrop why she thinks the group has been such a bust. It’s simple, she says: “Fat people grow up in the same fat-hating culture that non-fat people do.”

And I think it's the same reason that most fat people don't really want to RP as/with fat characters. Being fat doesn't make you immune to a lifetime of fat hated. It might even make it worse because you aim that hated at yourself.

Yes, this is unfair - that even people who'd benefit from the positivity are so wrapped in in complex, anti fat feelings that they can't bring themselves to portray fat people the way they should be. But it is the sad reality of our society, and it takes each individual person a lot of introspection and understanding to truely break past that.

anon wrote:

But the part I think relevant is
Quote:
Harrop, the eating disorders researcher, realized several years ago that her university had clubs for trans students, immigrant students, Republican students, but none for fat students. So she started one—and it has been a resounding, unmitigated failure. Only a handful of fat people have ever showed up; most of the time, thin folks sit around brainstorming about how to be better allies.

I ask Harrop why she thinks the group has been such a bust. It’s simple, she says: “Fat people grow up in the same fat-hating culture that non-fat people do.”

And I think it's the same reason that most fat people don't really want to RP as/with fat characters. Being fat doesn't make you immune to a lifetime of fat hated. It might even make it worse because you aim that hated at yourself.

Yes, this is unfair - that even people who'd benefit from the positivity are so wrapped in in complex, anti fat feelings that they can't bring themselves to portray fat people the way they should be. But it is the sad reality of our society, and it takes each individual person a lot of introspection and understanding to truely break past that.

This is definitely...part of it, and very sad.

In some ways it's getting better, plenty of fat people are joining clubs, dance clubs, yoga groups, book clubs, support groups, there's even an event called the 'fat babe pool party' that tons of people attended. There's also a group called I believe 'Fat Girls Hiking' that has chapters all over the US.

But it's still a thing that a lot of fat people hate themselves, because we grew up around people hating us and telling us we should hate ourselves. I used to be one of those people. I hated myself for a very long time, didn't have any fat characters.

It's the most sad that people don't want to play with or play as fat characters because the truth is, not playing and not playing with fat characters, is only perpetuating fat phobia and making it worse.

Katia wrote:
Part of it, at least for me anyway, is that RP is not just a hobby, but an also an escape from reality. In real life, I'm fat and consider myself ugly, so when I am rping, I like to rp using fit characters which gives me a break from the reality of my actual body. I can briefly pretend that I am pretty even if only through the eyes of my characters.

That also means I am not too interested in rping with fat characters since that kind of ruins my escape since I am reminded that I am really more like the fat character then my own character. That being said, there are a few characters I have where I would entertain the idea of rping with a fat character if they are interesting enough.

This is a very rough thing. I can understand. I used to have a lot of self-hate and disgust with myself for being fat for the longest time and did not have fat characters, and didn't want to see them.

It's something you have to decide if it's worth working on, and work on it if it is something you want to. It's something that's very personal, and is about more than just characters, but about acceptance, self love, and mental health.

Thank you for your reply <3

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Forums > RP Discussion > The struggle with RPing with fat/plus size chara's