Forums » Smalltalk » The strange necessity of the inclusions of Romance

There's a few ways I see how it can "ruin" a prompt.

Firstly, sometimes it just feels like an arbitrary inclusion that doesn't really add anything to the main plot or even actively detracts from a roleplay by pulling focus away from the main plot line.

Although I have nothing against romance, I do have issues with ham fistedly shoving it into everything, and also the fact I can't make the promise my characters will fall in love.

If it happens, it has to happen naturally for me, but it being a non-negotiable requirement ruins the potential for a romantic story because it goes from a natural progression into something forced and contrived. This completely closes off potential for the roleplay to happen in the first place if this was different. Very similar to the idea you brought up being that "You have to fall in love, there is no choice." Which I just cannot find interest in.


The idea of romance being negotiable completely misses the point, because these issues do not exist in that context. But in doing so it's undermines the question I asked and then the conversations become and unrelated mess of answers to questions I never asked and giving advice where none if needed.

What advice are we supposed to give to someone who claims that we don't understand and then refuses to explain the issue further? As far as I can tell, people have given much of the advice that can be given to your rather sullen claim that everyone wants romance all the time. Except it's not actually everyone, it's just the ones that do... It's not negotiable, but you need advice.

This is difficult to respond to with a clear answer.

You're muddying the waters a little, yourself, so it's kind of hard to understand what you're asking for.

So if you don't mind my asking, what is your exact problem and why can you not find a solution? What are you lacking that others might have, answer-wise?

Okay. It's clearer to me now. Thank you for explaining.

So from what I gather from what you said this only applies to situations where romance is completely non negotiable period no exceptions what so ever. Which rules out any one who gives you any option choice to include or exclude.

And you made a post with a question but also don't want advice or opinions given. I responded based of what you stated and even when I said it doesn't mean you think romance is bad it seems still it was unwanted advice.

I can see where people aren't sure what you want. Or did you just want to hear from people who 100% agree with your initial statement. I could be wrong but that is what it feels like based on what I gather from your responses (again I could be wrong as this is just my opinion)


I have a question though...

for the situation where there is no other option but having romance in the rp how can you know romance will be feel unnatural if you immediately lose interest and don't inquire at all? Did you have situations where the romance didn't fit and this is where your question stems? Or are these assumptions\expectations of what would happen?



Plenty of times I have to have situations where romance never happened and they ended up as friends or enemies or rivals. So I guess I don't see it as a non negotiable

. Plots that let me know that they are heavy in romance usually have a surrounding plot heavy with romance so I'm think those couldn't be the ones you mean. Or are you wanting a plot where the characters can be intimate with out the romance that usually comes along with it in rp? Because that would be different too.

Maybe some examples of the rps would help is better understand. Because I really feel like you are saying one thing but the true meaning still isn't implied. Even taking your words as you say them and responding is being taken as unwanted advice.


but I'm not sure you really want to hear people's responses or as you put it unwanted advice or suggestions. So then the real question ism. Is this post just to complain? And be agreed with?

The problem with a one-line question is that it will inevitably transform into a discussion thread that is not necessarily as narrow as you initially intended the discussion to be. Think of it like trying to project the flight of a golf ball – you want to hit it from the tee to the hole. Trouble is, there are many other variables to consider, like the way wind moves around/through the trees, how it’s unpredictably stronger or slower at different heights on the arc, the type of club you use, is it spinning midair, etc.

In response to the original question; yes, it can be disheartening - for me. So I don’t reply to them.
OR I inquire if they are willing to negotiate a plot. I’ve done this many times with my own prompts and find it is almost a necessity to guarantee a good story. Sometimes I’ve lost most of my intended plot ideas to this new story that WE created. Collaboration is a wonderful thing, especially with barebones prompts.
Other times, I’m very protective of my plots and worlds.

I agree with a few people who prefer organically developed love interests. I’ve transitioned my preferences from when I first started writing after all, in those teenage years when romance novels were the best secret books I could read after everyone in my house had gone to bed. There was a thrill! Now, I chuckle at the way things develop for those stories, the same way I laugh at movies when they reach a point where only the (not-so) dead character could get them out of this predicament. OH WAIT there they are now at the nick of time!

Every RP I wrote in the past with a base of romance between main characters always ended up being consumed by the relationship, instead of the story. We’d get stuck in a loop! Once love was reciprocated, nothing got done.
Especially with female characters, I found their male partners would always run to the rescue because of their relationship and the women would not have a chance to grow as a person. I began writing characters that would intentionally refuse to reciprocate or throw a wrench in the relationship for the sake of character development and doing something different.
Keep in mind, these weren’t always “romance required” prompts. Sometimes the other character would just have love-at-first-sight, or really inorganically join in on an adventure to force that relationship. This is why I said negotiation and collaboration have become almost synonymous with a good story (from my experience).

Also, it needs to be said – ROMANCE DOES NOT EQUAL SEX.
I’ve been mulling over Asexuality for a while now. This is a result of many of those RP’s from my teenage/romance novel reading era. I just got bored with the idea that romance equals love, and therefore MUST have sex to leave absolutely no doubt in anyone’s minds. Fade to black or otherwise played out. That is my biggest turn-off from romance RPs now.
Now, I inform people through my LFRP prompts and my profile what I'm willing to do with regard to romance. In some situations, I accept that's where the plot is headed, but you MUST talk to people.

Soo I would love to say something too - just like folks said the word 'ruined' is too much. I myself don't rp romance nor am I really sure about it but I think it's a stretch to use this kind of word. Sure if romance comes off as forced then rp wouldn't really be enjoyable, but this kind of genre can be fun if the prompt is executed well and is not unnatural (not saying that you don't like it or whatever, just sharing my opinions like other folks, nor am I looking for beefs or similar).

Plus, another thing that isn't clear to me is that (from what I interpreted) it's bad that people say what they think (especially if they disagree)??? I don't see anything wrong with people wanting to say what their thoughts on this kind of topic/what you said, even if their opinions are different than yours. I also find the fact that you don't take people's advices into consideration when it comes to your situation quite peculiar (despite you stating that you 'don't need' any). I think their tips are mature and completely valid. They could come in handy for you or anyone else in the future. I myself wouldn't take what they provided for granted if I were in your shoes, even though you said you're not looking for any advices.

I apologise if my interpretation isn't correct, just wanted to share my point of view like folks on this type of topic. My advice is - take the responses into consideration at least, it'd make your situation better in my opinion.

P.S. another advice - please provide examples of what you're saying and try to explain your situation better. Otherwise people will be confused about what you mean and wouldn't exactly understand you well with vague posts.

I never said people weren't allowed to disagree with me or anything along those lines. I just said people were answering questions that were never asked in the first place.

Once again. I not looking for advice. I am not looking for ways to "Solve" this issue because it's not something you can "Solve" without neglecting or disregarding other people's opinions and wants.


But I use the term "Ruin" because with romance being a non negotiable aspect it's something I cannot promise to give to the other person. It would be selfish for me to go into that rp not sure if I can give them what they want because it should be a 2 way street. And that's why it's "Ruined" for me. Because now I can't make any promises on it and can't interact with it anymore beyond that point.

I was just asking if other people ever felt this same way, which I assumed would have been a simple enough question but wasn't.

And to that one person who asked about how I know if it will be bad or not? I don't. It might be a great romance plot, and I'll never know until I interact with it. But I instead simply choose not to regardless.

(Edited to fix.some grammar errors due to writing this via mobile)

I see. Thanks for clarification.

I am fully willing to admit.to my mistakes and will clarify things.

I don't want this to seem more toxic or mean than it's actually intended to be.

That's good!

Yeah, it’s kind of what I got after two pages. A ‘statement’ thread title, then basically a ‘yes/no’ question asked by the OP in the first post. Not sure what they expected to get in response to this post. My answer to the question is no.

Again. I was never looking for advice, or suggestions. That was not the question put forth.

I was wondering if anyone felt that romance being a hard requirement ruined in rp for them. Ruined as in turned them away from a roleplay they would have otherwise been interested in.

Ahh, I see! I thought you were just really not good at communicating or something. You actually just meant what you said and weren't trying to imply anything else!

I hope you're not overly offended by my response or anything. I thought I'd match your abrupt response style, but I didn't mean to be too rude.

If it did offend you, I apologize!

I'm not used to online-conversing with people who give the exact explanations of what they mean, except for those who also specify what they don't mean. Having to assume so often makes it difficult not to read into replies like yours, so you came off as uptight or something, but rereading them I can tell you were just replying with what you meant. ^^ :p

Even with that I don't think a discussion derived from the original question should have been considered unwanted or uneccessary discussion or advice. That really is normally what would happen on any post people put up. People will agree disagree, give points of view or debate as it were.

Everyone still pretty much answered the question with in their responses just not always the direct yes I have or no I havent. Which, honestly I did not gather, that this was only a yes\no.

And possibly people could have assumed more than what was implied but really they just elaborated on what they felt about the question some gave opinions\suggestions because that is usually what happens on the forum posts.

Even when I enter an RP that's supposed to be, on the whole, a romance, I need room to admit it might not happen, and that that doesn't necessarily have to be the end of the game. (Sure, if we aren't having fun, we should stop. But if we are, I don't want to stop just because the romance doesn't look like it can work out.)

I can understand folks wanting their game to include romance, and that how it'd even fit in might not make sense to me at times. The ways it's often played can also bother me (I think there's a degree to which that's just a bit of personal neuroticism coloring how I perceive it), whether it even includes me or not. I'm not bothered by people seeking it or requesting it, overall, but there are times I might get a bit grumpy if it's being held as an absolute requirement, and I usually avoid RPs listed with a high expectation/focus on romance.

Other sorts of social relationships deserve more attention. Sometimes, I think things even seem more meaningful if there's not a romantic connection involved. Like... one rp I was in, I was using a princess (a bit adventurous, but a lot of responsibility on her), and other person had a guy who barely even participates in society and is kinda grudgingly respectful toward any nobility (a "they're soft and whiny, but they're in power and that's just the order of things" kind of mindset). There's a lot of reasons why a romance between them would have been terrible and rediculous for them both. But after what they went through, she knows she can trust him and he honestly and fully respects her, and would accept probably just about any task she might give him. They aren't even exactly friends - they're just too different to even interact much outside of kinda formal circumstances - but there is definitely a bond of trust and respect there. There's a loyalty without any benefit - no comfort, no pleasure, no company, no exchange of anything, just "that's a good person and I know I can trust them." I feel like romance would cheapen that, make the bond focus on emotional attachment instead of respect. (Yeah, romantic relationships should absolutely include respect, but the kind I mean tends to get downplayed/overlooked in them a lot.)

After putting more thought to stuff, I'd also love to apologise to RTK.

I'm sorry if I have come off well, harsh (or whatever I have come off as) and for misunderstanding A LOT. >.< (although I have apologised on my first post, but yeah...)