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  I am honestly not sure why I write this. Perhaps because after all this flim-flammery, there is finally some time to reflect. I have here a letter to His Holiness and shall send it after I am finished with this. I have already read it over six times, but what if there is a giveaway? Oppara is half a world away, yet doubt grips my heart. I feel like such an ungrateful villain concealing the entirety of the truth. I owe everything to him, and lies shall be another blemish on my besmirched honor. But it must be done; showing him the full extent of my sin would not only break him, but bring him down upon me for sure. And there is a greater goal, set before me perhaps by the Inheritor Herself to lead from temptation. My perfectly beguiling, sweet temptation...…
  She puts Shelyn to shame with her fairness and my breath must stop, my head spins and a strange sickness grips my stomach when she appears in my mind's eye... And I refrain from mentioning other effects of it upon my cursed body. Goddess, how I have struggled to clear my thoughts, fight these desires, stay my hand! But it is an impossibility. What is it that I want, drawn to her like a moth to a flame, sure to burn? She makes me wish to give up all I have sweated and bled for, all good Brother Jacob has toiled on, just to be with her forever – Iomedae have mercy! I should tell her to forget me, find a man that can love her before the Gods and the people – not this despicable sinner who must hide her from even himself. But alas, her forbidden kiss echoes upon my lips, breaks my will entirely, raises what feels like hellfire under my belt. Still she puts a sacred happiness in my heart I have never known. I can not believe she could be wicked, or putting a spell on me. Someone must keep me away from her, for I surely have no power to refuse if she wills me to succumb to sin. But if I do not see her, how can I keep breathing? And once we must leave this place...
  I must come to my senses. There is great evil afoot. And my Sweet Love is in danger along with all. How do I bear the weight of my sword in this condition? Glorious Inheritor, I have been taught that You know my heart, my virtues, and my sins. Surely in Your Legion there is a Knight of great valor and purity, a Bastion of Good. I have read and copied many a tale of such great, noble men. But I never meant for a tale needing a hero to happen to me, bastard of a scullery maid, and a very, very bad attempt at Knighthood. The world out here is so overwhelming, beautiful and terrible. Can I truly be blamed for searching for a hand to hold? If I should perish, at least my poor Knight Brothers shall be spared the shame of having to swear me within their ranks.
  I know not, my Goddess, why You still bestow upon me these divine powers, and why you have gifted me with an armor I never even hoped to wish for. But whatever your reasons, I implore You to see me through this. Not for me, but for the man who so foolishly puts his autumn years' last hope in one such as I, for the woman I must forsake in Your merciful hands, and for these heroic souls I have accompanied and now promise to join in this crusade and stand with me. For them, I must smile and shine, no matter how my heart aches. Who else shall see them through this darkness, dispatch their doubts, abolish their fears, and take them under his shield when evil strikes? »Man up,« Sir Eren told me. Perhaps one day, I can match this man's valor, but until then, I shall only follow his wise words.