HOW LOVE
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It was never hard to tell that Drake wasn’t planned. Growing up knowing it — not because anyone said it outright, but because of the way things felt at home. His parents only being 18 when his mother got pregnant, still figuring out who they were, let alone how to raise a child. His father carraying that resentment quietly, like a weight he never learned to put down. Not being cruel, just distant — like Drake was a reminder of something he’d lost too early. Conversations were rare, and when they did happen, they felt forced, uncomfortable. His mother, on the other hand, tried to make up for all of it. Loving him fiercely, almost protectively, as if she could shield him from the parts of life she knew were too harsh. She worked hard, stretched every paycheck, and made sure he never went without — but more than that, she made sure he felt wanted. She was everything: mother, father, and the only steady thing in a house that sometimes felt too quiet. Not being poor, but not well-off either. A small home, secondhand furniture, meals that were simple but warm. School wasn’t anything special. Not loving it, hating it. Existing somewhere in the middle — known, but not important. Having friends, the kind you laugh with more than you confide in. Weekends blurring into cheap parties, loud music, and mornings spent nursing hangovers he pretended were worth it.
Everything changed when he turned 18. Moving out felt like freedom — his own place, his own rules, his own life finally beginning. And then, only a week later, meeting Olivia. Even now, her name still lingers in his chest like something unfinished.
Falling fast—faster than he thought was possible. With her, everything felt certain in a way nothing else ever had. She wasn’t just someone he loved; she became the center of how he understood love itself. People noticed it too. The way they looked at each other, the way they fit—it made others believe in something bigger. Getting married after you 4 months. It felt impulsive to everyone else, but to them, it felt inevitable. Building a future out of conversations. Kids. A house they couldn’t afford yet. A dog with a name they’d already chosen. Places they’d travel, hands always intertwined. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real — at least, that’s what he believed. And then she took her own life. No note. No explanation. Just an absence that swallowed everything. For months, shutting down completely. Days blurring together, nights stretching endlessly, and the world lost its shape. Staying stuck in the question: why?
Six months later, getting an answer he never asked for. By chance, meeting a man named Adam. What started as a normal conversation turned into something else entirely. Adam told him the truth — or at least a version of it. Olivia had been seeing him for over three years. Their entire marriage hadn’t been what Drake thought it was. The grief didn’t disappear. It changed. Twisting into something sharper — confusion, anger, disbelief. Not knowing what hurt more: losing her, or realizing he never really had her the way he thought he did. It forced him to question everything. If that was love.. then what was love supposed to be? Stopped believing in it after that.
Now, at 25, living like someone trying to outrun his own thoughts. Drinking more than he should, filling his nights with strangers, and keeps everything just shallow enough that nothing can touch him too deeply. Underneath it, though, he hasn’t changed as much as he pretends. Still being loyal to the people who earn it. Still the kind of person who would show up at 3 a.m. without being asked. Still capable of love — he just doesn’t trust it anymore.
Telling himself he’s moved on. But the truth is, a part of him is still stuck back there — at 18, in a life that felt certain, loving someone he thought he understood. And he doesn’t know if he’ll ever fully leave it behind.
