Why I'm So Great
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About Me: The Truth
Howdy.
If you hadn't noticed, I'm kind of a big deal.
You may not know me. If you don't, that's okay. I try not to brag too much and put myself out there. Call me humble or call me shy but I don't wanna take the limelight away from anyone else. That said, I'm sure you've noticed that I bring a lot more to a roleplay than just a big dick, good looks, and some crazy anime fighting skills. I mean, if you're into those things, that's great, I'm glad I got my bases covered, and I'm sure if you offer me enough money I'll probably give you a one-on-one demonstration.
But this is for everyone else who's ever considered dickriding the most original character in existence. "Soma," they ask, "What makes you stand out from everyone else? Why should I give your character a chance? ...Is there enough room on your dick for me?" Well folks, don't worry -- this dick's long enough for all of you to hop on...Except herms. No herms. Seriously.
Anyway, back to my questions. What makes me stand out? How about my MS Paint skills? Yeah. That picture on the top of this website? That's all me. While all of your other RP partners are paying REAL MONEY for commissions, Yours Truly only does his own artwork. That said, I totally accept donations -- usually in the form of drugs, money, or fellatio--but uh... Art will do too. I guess.
If you gimme a chance, I promise I'll teach you the ways that made me so successful in just three easy steps. It's that simple!
Go down the page to find out more. -
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So, before we get started, I've got a few things I'd like to go over.
1. If we have a problem, let's talk it out!
Seriously. I'm not the best at planning roleplays, and sometimes I might do things like use an NPC to nudge the RP along if I feel that there's a lull in the action. That being said, I'm always open to suggestions, and I'm willing to work things out! However, if you're the kinda person that shuts down at something that I do IC and say "THAT'S IT, WE'RE INCOMPATIBLE" without trying to talk it out, you're kinda being a douche.
Why? Because one, you're basically saying "Hey, all the time I spent with you? Yeah that was all a waste." Nobody wants to feel like their time was wasted--especially when I get requested for the roleplay session to begin with! So instead of doing that, let's be grown-ups and talk things through. I'm sure we can find common ground!
2. Don't mix IC and OOC. Ever.
Just don't do it. This probably supersedes #1. If you use any information you've found on my website IC for WHATEVER reason, chances are I won't give you a second chance because I think that you probably don't know how to RP properly. Like, don't do stupid shit where it's like "OH I CONVENIENTLY KNOW HOW TO STOP YOUR CHARACTER OR AM IMMUNE" or something like that. That's some bullshit. If you want to consult it with me beforehand, that's fine. I'm receptive to new ideas and maybe we can come up with something cool, but if you just spring it on me and try to play it off, well, that's pretty shitty.
Also don't mix IC and OOC and get super dramatic or something. Obviously if my character falls for you it doesn't mean I do, or if he hates you I do too. Doesn't work like that, sorry. This ain't E-Harmony.
Need a hypothetical? Okay. Let's say my character asks for nudes. That doesn't mean you have to send me your IRL nudes. I mean I'm sure depending on the person I might really like what I see, but it would significantly up the awkward factor so yeah.
3. Don't be afraid to talk to me!
Seriously. I'll private message anyone and everyone about anything that comes to mind, so feel free to do the same. I kinda feel like I have to in order to find roleplays, and I will RP with literally anyone. I mean, you could have a cybernetic mountain goat that shits laser beams, or an undead psychic cockroach that moves around on telescopic genitalia, or a hypercube that communicates with people by inducing seizures and hallucinogenic visions followed by uncontrollable vomiting and/or diarrhea, and I'd still probably give it a shot! Just try me.
Also, it doesn't necessarily have to be about RP! We can talk about whatever the hell you want to. I don't care. This is the internet, not real life, so social rules are a little different here. Just shoot me whatever's on your mind and I'll cobble together some sort of coherent response. You'll see. I'm sure it'll work out.
There's probably more to add, but that's all I can think of.
