Hey, we get it!Peopling can be hard.
Especially on the internet.
Especially when folks can get funky about rejection.
But as a hobby as a whole, it feels like we've made ghosting a little too common, and psychology studies have shown that doing so hurts both the ghoster and ghostee a lot more than just engaging in direct rejection, and for a lot longer.
That being said, we're not advocating for sticking around in toxic situations where people make you feel unsafe. If you feel like someone is going to cause you harm for rejecting them-- go, ghost, poof like the wind! And if you feel like that's something happening here in our community, immediately reach out to staff, please.
But in situations where an interaction might just be a little inconvenient or awkward, or where you're stuck, or bored, or not sure what to say, we're hoping to offer you some alternatives you can consider!
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First off, no one should be giving you a hard time here about stepping back from a thread for any reason. It's against our community rules, and when we make communication scary, people are always likely to do less of it, which is not the kind of environment we want to foster. So if someone is giving you trouble about exiting a thread, please let staff know.
But sometimes it also feels intimidating to approach people about things like that because of past experiences. That's totally understandable. In moments like these, we'd rather you communicate through staff than not at all. So if you're feeling like you can't work up the nerve to exit a thread, instead of ghosting, consider reaching out to staff so we can help you work things out, even if that means sending the message ourselves as a buffer.
A handy Script to make things easy:
◆ Hi! I'm no longer able to continue in my thread with WRITER NAME, but I'm feeling a little anxious about reaching out to them to let them know. Can I ask for help with this?
First off, no one should be giving you a hard time here about stepping back from a thread for any reason. It's against our community rules, and when we make communication scary, people are always likely to do less of it, which is not the kind of environment we want to foster. So if someone is giving you trouble about exiting a thread, please let staff know.
But sometimes it also feels intimidating to approach people about things like that because of past experiences. That's totally understandable. In moments like these, we'd rather you communicate through staff than not at all. So if you're feeling like you can't work up the nerve to exit a thread, instead of ghosting, consider reaching out to staff so we can help you work things out, even if that means sending the message ourselves as a buffer.
A handy Script to make things easy:
◆ Hi! I'm no longer able to continue in my thread with WRITER NAME, but I'm feeling a little anxious about reaching out to them to let them know. Can I ask for help with this?
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That's fine! Not everyone is going to get along. Sometimes it's personalty, sometimes it's writing goals or style, and sometimes the vibe just doesn't vibe. That's okay. It doesn't even mean the other person is a bad writer. Sometimes we like vanilla, sometimes we like chocolate. Sometimes our craving changes midway through and we decide we no longer are enjoying what we're eating.
It's still important that you reach out and don't leave the other person hanging, because we've all been on that other side, and the silence sucks.
So have some handy scripts!
◆ Hey, I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I'm going to be stepping away from our thread. Unfortunately, I don't think we're a good match, but thanks so much for writing with me! Is there anything I can do to help summarize what happened so your character can move forward?
◆ Thanks for the roleplay offer, but I don't think we quite match. I appreciate your interest all the same. I hope you find a partner soon!
That's fine! Not everyone is going to get along. Sometimes it's personalty, sometimes it's writing goals or style, and sometimes the vibe just doesn't vibe. That's okay. It doesn't even mean the other person is a bad writer. Sometimes we like vanilla, sometimes we like chocolate. Sometimes our craving changes midway through and we decide we no longer are enjoying what we're eating.
It's still important that you reach out and don't leave the other person hanging, because we've all been on that other side, and the silence sucks.
So have some handy scripts!
◆ Hey, I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I'm going to be stepping away from our thread. Unfortunately, I don't think we're a good match, but thanks so much for writing with me! Is there anything I can do to help summarize what happened so your character can move forward?
◆ Thanks for the roleplay offer, but I don't think we quite match. I appreciate your interest all the same. I hope you find a partner soon!
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The great thing about roleplay is that it's not a novel, it's a choose your own adventure story! That means that you and your partner choose where the story goes, and if something isn't working, you can take a step back, talk about it, and re-design your plot!
First, figure out why you're feeling bored/stuck. Does your partner need to give you more to work with? Is the pacing off? Are you struggling with writing one particular character right now? Would you like more action maybe? Once you've figured that out, you can move forward with finding out if you can salvage the story or not, and how.
Have some handy scripts!
◆ Hey, just checking in! I'm having some trouble with our roleplay. This one scene is tripping me up, and I'm having trouble staying engaged. Do you think we can do a bit of a time skip?
◆ Hey, I'm struggling with moving forward with my post. Do you think you could give me a little more in your post about X TOPIC?
◆ Heya! Our characters are having a lot of down time right now, and I'm struggling to stay engaged. Do you think we could introduce some action/tension?
◆ Hey there-- Our characters have been doing a lot lately, and I'm feeling a little burnt out. Do you think we could give them something calmer/more relaxing to do for a while before getting back to the action?
◆ Hey, I'm struggling with writing X CHARACTER right now. It's not you, the muse just isn't musing no matter what I do. Do you think we could wrap this thread up early and just summarize how it ended? OR Do you think we could put this roleplayer on the backburner until I get my groove back?
The great thing about roleplay is that it's not a novel, it's a choose your own adventure story! That means that you and your partner choose where the story goes, and if something isn't working, you can take a step back, talk about it, and re-design your plot!
First, figure out why you're feeling bored/stuck. Does your partner need to give you more to work with? Is the pacing off? Are you struggling with writing one particular character right now? Would you like more action maybe? Once you've figured that out, you can move forward with finding out if you can salvage the story or not, and how.
Have some handy scripts!
◆ Hey, just checking in! I'm having some trouble with our roleplay. This one scene is tripping me up, and I'm having trouble staying engaged. Do you think we can do a bit of a time skip?
◆ Hey, I'm struggling with moving forward with my post. Do you think you could give me a little more in your post about X TOPIC?
◆ Heya! Our characters are having a lot of down time right now, and I'm struggling to stay engaged. Do you think we could introduce some action/tension?
◆ Hey there-- Our characters have been doing a lot lately, and I'm feeling a little burnt out. Do you think we could give them something calmer/more relaxing to do for a while before getting back to the action?
◆ Hey, I'm struggling with writing X CHARACTER right now. It's not you, the muse just isn't musing no matter what I do. Do you think we could wrap this thread up early and just summarize how it ended? OR Do you think we could put this roleplayer on the backburner until I get my groove back?
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Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes. Maybe you picked up a bunch of roleplays when you were really feeling those roleplay juices flowing, and then the holidays hit, or you got sick, or fired, or your mental state just changed. These things happen, and it's okay to step back when they do. There's no need to feel guilty. Everyone goes through dry spells and burnout moments.
So have some handy scripts!
◆ Hey, I have a lot going on in my life right now, and I think I need to drop some roleplays. Do you mind if we wrap up X ROLEPLAY? I'd be happy to brainstorm and help summarize things so your character can move on.
◆ Hey, just checking in! I'm having a bit of burn out right now, so I wanted to talk about putting X ROLEPLAY on the back burner for a while. Can we do that? Or would you rather we just wrapped things up and summarize?
Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes. Maybe you picked up a bunch of roleplays when you were really feeling those roleplay juices flowing, and then the holidays hit, or you got sick, or fired, or your mental state just changed. These things happen, and it's okay to step back when they do. There's no need to feel guilty. Everyone goes through dry spells and burnout moments.
So have some handy scripts!
◆ Hey, I have a lot going on in my life right now, and I think I need to drop some roleplays. Do you mind if we wrap up X ROLEPLAY? I'd be happy to brainstorm and help summarize things so your character can move on.
◆ Hey, just checking in! I'm having a bit of burn out right now, so I wanted to talk about putting X ROLEPLAY on the back burner for a while. Can we do that? Or would you rather we just wrapped things up and summarize?
It always kinda sucks to be rejected for something, even when you know it wasn't personal and the other person may have had a good reason. We get excited about stuff, and it's disappointing to have to change course after you were looking forwards to something. You're allowed to feel disappointed.
But feel your feelings, then move on gracefully. And sometimes a 'not right now' is just that, not a 'not never'. Keeping doors open instead of burning bridges by reacting reflexively to a rejection ensures that people will feel more comfortable reaching out to you in the future.
✔ Thank them for their time and ask if any exit plotting needs to be done.
✔ Ensure them if they want to reach out for a different roleplay in the future, that the door is open.
✘ Don't interrogate them over why they're stepping back. If they want to tell you, they will.
✘ Don't try to guilt them or convince them to continue writing with you after they've said no.
✘ Don't reply with angry or passive aggressive messages, or put yourself down.
✘ Don't assume that they don't want to write with you again unless they've expressly said so. Sometimes life just gets in the way.
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