Vesania Asylum

Donovan watched Ella as she spoke, he could tell that she was upset by what he had done and especially how he felt about them. She wasn't the first to look at him in such a way and she wouldn't be the last, it just made him sigh and look towards the door. No one understood why he had done such things but it wasn't approval from others that he was seeking.

Donovan turned his eyes back to Ella's as she said his name, his head tilting slightly before he leaned as close as he could to her again. His eyes studied her again though his lip curled slightly. "Quite a strong statement to say but how do you know that it is not one's divine purpose to commit such acts?" He asked though he had made it clear that he wasn't religious early. "Or that others were meant to die to further the greater good."

Ella saw his gaze moving towards the door and for a moment she thought he was going to ask her to leave. It was obvious that their visions were very different concerning the matter of murder, not to mention that Ella had never really killed a human. She was devoted to protect humans against other creatures, so humans killing humans didn't have any sense for her. She didn't understand why the human kind would kill others of their own species.

When Donovan leaned in again getting so close to Ella she sunk into the chair staring into the grey of his eyes. While it seemed to be completely innocent from the young man's side the gesture had a different meaning for Ella. The man was getting way too close and the young woman couldn't but blush and avert her gaze each time her did this. She had to clear her throat and slowly looked in his eyes again. "With all the supernatural threats we have to face... it would be sad to think that God is making humans kill other humans.." She said softly as a response.

Donovan watched Ella, he didn't see reason for the blush or her not meeting his eyes. He tilted his head slightly and if he had an eyebrow he would have raised it, this was not a reaction he was used to getting. He listened to her statement and slowly sat back though he kept his gaze on her. "Such an odd statement to say for someone who is trying to convince a place like this that you're sane."

Donovan settled, again sitting far to still though it seemed like he was completely relaxed. "You seem like you're full of contradictions but then again trying to appear normal seems like it's nothing but contradiction." He sighed as he looked around his room. "I don't understand why one should live consumed by what others think of them."

This time Ella let out a quiet chuckle when he criticised her previous statement before letting a sad smile touch the corners of her lips. " Well that is why I don't say these things in front of doctors or nurses. I can tell that for normal people the supernatural world is fiction... but it is very real and in fact it is in a continuous and neverending war with our world... " She sighed then. " I know how crazy it sounds, sometimes I wish people could see what I see... but it could actually drive someone crazy" She shrugged.

When he told her that she was full or contradictions he couldn't have defined her better. She was a catholic religious woman but she had shared bed with men and women equaly out of matrimony; she was religioud yet she had a degree in biology which proved wrong all the mythical religious explanations for the world; she was a great exorcist and she was in an asylum now locked up by her own colleagues so that she wouldn't be able to speak ever.

" You really are good at reading people... I really am full of contradictions , I know that very well but it is the way I am... as much as I'd like to stick to one ideology and defend it I see flaws so I make my own ideas" She shrugged. " In our case now the image we give off is crucial. If you seem pacific they give you more freedom, they let you wander around. If you appear sane they might let you out of here lawfully... " She muttered sighing

Again Donovan tilted his head as he listened to her, the rest of his body remaining completely still. He didn't know about her past or what she had seen in her life, instead he was just going from their interactions. "The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing while expecting different results." He said after a few moments of silence.

"Why not accept what has happened and just do what is normal to you, why loose your sense of self for a mockery of freedom?" Donovan asked as his stare met lapis lazuli eyes. "Because if you are lawfully discharged from this place the paperwork will remain and you will be judged for it the rest of your days. Society will be waiting for another reason to put you back here."

Ella's lapis lazuli eyes slightly narrowed with interest when he gave her this definition of insanity. She had never thought about it but according to that definition she was no doubt insane. It made her think and one hand was raised the play with a lock of her hair as her gaze lowered. "If I don't get out of here lawfully I will never be allowed to help people again. Yes, I know that people will not look at me the same way after knowing that I've been interned in this institution, but I'm already constantly being judged for much lesser things." She shrugged.

She probably wouldn't be able to work for church again for they had been the ones locking her in here but she fully intended to help people against those creatures beyond their comprehension once she'd make it out of this place. "They might keep judging me but at least I'll be more or less free to go on with my life." She shrugged. "Or at least that's what I'd like to think.." She sighed softly. This young man had such a clear vision on things that it scared him he'd be right. She needed to keep thinking things would be alright once she'd make it out of this place, otherwise she'd probably have a bad breakdown.

Donovan watched her silently, sitting far to still again as he listened to her before he sighed and slouched a bit. He turned his head to listen to the noises coming in for a moment. "Another odd concept freedom, is it really what they say?" He finally said as he slowly turned his eyes back to Ella's.

"Freedom so long as we obey the rules and appearance given to us." Donovan said though it was clear he thought the concept rather dull. "I would rather be who I truly am regardless of what is dictated to me." He said as he looked at his hands for a moment. "Then again maybe I'm supposed to be this way due to the past I have."

"I guess we've been raised into a society that is lead by rules. In my view there are many that are pure logic, but it is true that other rules just don't make sense at all." She admitted. "But yes in essence unless you can learn to live within those rules they won't allow you to be 'free'. I guess you're right when you say that it isn't a complete freedom if you can't do just whatever you want, but it makes sense to have at least some rules. " She said softly.

"It is what makes societies work, if we didn't have rules it would be chaotic." She shrugged. These concepts weren't that easy to explain or to defend, philosophers had analyzed them through the millennia, no one getting to a solution that would satisfy everyone so Ella knew that there was no way she and Donovan would solve that conflict right this instant.

Then she watched him as he stared down at his own hands. "That makes sense... I probably think the way I do because I was raised as a catholic... our pasts tend to mark us even if we'd like to move on." She nodded. "But it is okay, you and I have very different views of life and yet I agree to many of your statements." She said rubbing her arm. "Everything you've said is true in a way, you really have a very clear vision of these concepts, I have to say I'm impressed." She said giving him a gentle smile. "One doesn't usually expect to find such a good conversation in an asylum. You've given me many things to think about."

"Maybe chaos is what these societies need." Donovan answered after a moment as his eyes turned to meet Ella's, the intense focus returning to them and his tone was completely serious. He tilted his head slightly as he watched her smile, such a foriegn expression it was to him and he found it strange that she had grown so comfortable.

"Though I believe that you would only hear truth in a place like this, the people here have no reason to lie." Donovan answered as he tilted his head slightly, continuing to watch her expression. "Everything they experience is complete truth to them even if it isn't to us."

Ella watched Donovan cautiously for a moment. She was careful around him now that she knew the way he thought and that he had been capable to kill his own father but she wasn't scared of him which allowed her to be around her appearing calm. Besides she actually did like the guy, in her view he was a poor soul that had have a terrible childhood which had led him to have a distorted vision of life and death but a very clear one of how the society treated those who didn't fit in.

"I don't think that's right." She stated softly at Donovan's affirmation about the societies needing chaos. "I think what the societies need is a little bit of empathy. If everyone got their heads out of their asses even just a little we'd live in a much better world. People just don't care about those who don't fit in, they push them away locking them in places like this or even killing them straight away which seems less cruel than letting them just die slowly on meds for a disease that they don't really have." She sighed. "If only people could leave aside their selfish thoughts for just a moment they'd see what kind of world are we building..."

She was still watching him and noticed how his eyes once again pierced through her. He was watching her, probably trying to see what kind of reaction she'd have to his words and she only let a gentle smile touch the corners of her lips. "Yeah I think you're right... To be completely honest I had never dedicated time to think about what's considered a mental illness. If seeing 'things' that are not there for other people is being crazy then I guess I really belong here." She shrugged.