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  • Gender: Female
  • Age: 39
  • Birthday: February 21

Current Status:

Possibly very long hiatus to take care of my mom.

I apologise if I ghosted you and I promise that it wasn't you, all you're writing is lovely, people. I love it.

*sings "So Long, Farewell" from The Sound of Music with an orchestra in the background while tap-dancing off stage*

*Tips hat*

Art Shoutouts!!! Commisions by RpR artists

Section under construction. Going to add more...

The dolphin picture Crystaldragon126 made for me during her art stream πŸ™‚

RP Status: Not currently accepting any new RPs.

Once burned, twice shy

(About the section below)

I've finally reached a point where I've realized that maybe I was overreacting--and I was l overreacting probably because I was bored and lonely and making too much of these relationships. I guess it does make more sense that people come and go when they wish without feeling obligated to anyone. It still moves me, and I still prefer goodbyes, but I was probably overreacting. Overreacting is a thing I do sometimes.

I prefer a short goodbye to anyone just disappearing

HEAR YE, HEAR YE: If we're close OOC, please don't delete your account without saying goodbye to me. It may seem unnecessary or even a bit old-fashioned to some, but that sort of thing really does matter to me.

But, if you find saying goodbye difficult, here's a sample sentence you can cut and paste into a PM to me, so it's not so hard.

Sample Sentence

Example: "Unfortunately, I must stop roleplaying to focus on [school, work, health, self-care, etc.], but thank you for your friendship."

More info on the goodbye thing...

That one sentence, or something like it, fulfills what I see as your duty to end a friendship considerately and with courtesy. I have the same duty to you.

It is my opinion that this duty doesn't cease to exist simply because we're online.

Why it's easy and important

Saying goodbye might seem daunting, but really, it's just a matter of this:

1. opening a PM and adding people to it.
2. typing or cutting and pasting a simple message like the one above.

It will prevent people from worrying about you, keep them from being upset with you, give them closure, and make them feel as though whatever moments/conversations you shared on here were equally valued.

My definition of an online friendship

If I've only role-played with you and never talked OOC about anything much other than the roleplay, that's a roleplay partner and an acquaintance.

If we've talked for pages and pages OOC about quirks, hopes, fears, dreams, childhoods, political beliefs, relationships, religious beliefs, deep thoughts, etc, etc, that's an online friend. Those are the people I'm talking to here.

Short note: I'm not talking about hiatuses. People take hiatuses all the time. Profile note, no big deal. I'm saying if someone is planning on deleting their account (which is akin to moving out), that's when I feel there's a duty to say goodbye to online friends.

Lessons Learned

Online Affiliation Rule #1

Intimacy β‰  Fidelity

Intimacy (noun) = close familiarity or friendship; closeness.

Fidelity (noun) = faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.

For many people, it's easier to talk openly on the internet about feelings than it is to do so in real life. It's easier to "go deep."

Unfortunately, such openness and sharing and depth does not always seem to necessarily relate to the reliability of the friendship, like it usually (but not always) does in real life.

I believe that this rule is true (some may argue it's not, but this is what I'm convinced of so far), but I am new to affiliating closely with people online, so my brain still gets the rules of online friendships tangled up with the rules of regular friendships. So if we've swapped life stories, I probably care about you, so please, cut me some slack, and say goodbye. Thank you.

Hi there, fellow creative person and wielder of the written word!

Welcome to my profile.

About Me

I go by Abigail or Gail. I am...

β€’ 39 years old ⏳
β€’ a Texan 🀠
β€’ a Star Trek Fan πŸ––
β€’ a Doctor Who fan πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§
β€’ a Christian ✝️
β€’ a non-hetero person πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
β€’ a bit of a nerd and proud of it πŸ“š
β€’ a former teacher (science, ESL)
β€’ currently a pharmacy technician
β€’ a fan of your eloquence and wit
β€’ a bit of a weirdo πŸ‘
β€’ a bit random ❔

I do multi-paragraph RPs.

My favorite stories are:
β€’ sweet, angsty hurt/comfort stories
β€’ F/F romance
β€’ M/F romance
β€’ action with romance

What I don't RP:
β€’ horror
β€’ a lot of battles and gore

I'm starting to realize that plotting events out, including the ending, is a good thing. Otherwise I'll get stuck writing 5 paragraphs about taking a sip of coffee. (I'm exaggerating, but...yeah. Details.)

Have you seen this? It's kinda neat.


I wrote a poem today, 9/22/18. I am overly proud of it, so, like the ham that I am, I am putting it here, so you can all see it!!! lol. CLICK HERE!

Meet Me There
by: me

Do you want to take a break
From the chaos, from the heartache
From the seconds ticking by
From the constant urge to cry

Do you want to step outside
Find a quiet place to hide
Where time stands still, and thoughts dissolve
And there is nothing else to solve

Come, and rest inside my arms
There's no hustle, no alarms
Nothing that you have to do
Except to let me care for you

Let's escape the universe
A place where time and space reverse
Through a loophole, through a door
That no one's ever found before

If I could, I'd take you there
I'd gently brush away your care
I'd wrap you in a sweet embrace
I'd rub your hair, and touch your face

I'd let you take the time you need
To rage, to cry, and just to breathe
To rest your head upon my shoulder
Until we're both two hours older

They won't see us disappear
No one would even know we're here
Everything would stay the same
There'd be no heartache, be no blame

Just peace and quiet solitude
You with me, and me with you
Moments, stolen from the wheel
To transfer all the love I feel

Skin to skin, and heart to heart
Two bodies that don't have to part
Not for a while, not 'til you smile
And realize why it's all worthwhile

I know we can't. I know. It's fine.
That place is just inside my mind
But if that place exists somewhere
I wish that you could meet me there.

Another Poem

Do you ever try as hard as you can
To get something that you can never keep?
To try something you don't want to succeed?
You run at top speed
To somewhere you don't want to be.

With every single signal
Your heart begins to race
And every time a barrier falls
A smile lights up your face

Oh, the drive, it's so powerful
I'm trying not to try
But every time I hear her voice
I feel like I could die

Do you ever try to win somebody's heart
When you fear that, if you do, they'll fall apart?
And you tell yourself you ought to stay away?
You can't stop coming back,
You're like a moth drawn to a flame.

Do you ever take it right up to the edge
Just to feel that calming buzz inside your head
But you know you'll fall and drag them down instead
You thought that you could fly
But your boots are made of lead

Oh, I just want to know her
I just want to read
Oh, I just want a picture
I just want to see
Oh, I just want to hear her voice
That's really all I need
Oh, I just want to hold her...

I just want to hold her...

I just need to hold her in the dark and hear her sing...

Oh, god...

I just want to hear her voice
(Quiet now, be quiet now.)
I just want to have a choice.
(Quiet now, be quiet now.)
Now, I finally heard her voice.
(Quiet now, be quiet now.)
I just want to hold her in the dark and hear her sing...
(Shut up!)

What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?
It's taking over my daydreams.
Well, don't believe your daydreams.
What's the use of daydreams?

What are you doing?
Keep your daydreams!
But you're wanting more and more
Of the real estate inside her head
What will you use it for?

And silly as it sounds right now
What if she fell for you?
She's got her whole life planned out,
Then what would you do?

There'd be nothing
Only heartbreak
What a damn waste
Of a heartache

Yet you try,
You can't stop trying
Yes you lie
You can't stop lying
To yourself
About your feelings.
And it's working
Yes it's working
'Cause we have
So much in common
But I don't know why I'm trying
It will leave somebody crying
But I want it
No I need it
'Cause the building blocks for friendship
Are the building blocks for romance
So I'm building a foundation
For a house I'll never build
Installing irrigation
In the soil I'll never till

But the building blocks of friendship
Are the building blocks of love
I can admire it from a distance
I can watch it from above

Maybe I can even touch it,
But I can't hold on too tight
Cause we've both
Got someone else
To keep us warm
Throughout the night.

But god, I wish that I could hold her
For the feeling that would bring
I'd hold her tight and keep the darkness out
And just listen to her sing

Her voice would wash over me
Full of sweet sentimentality Endearing vulnerability
I need to hear her sing for me

And hold her when it's all too much
Sometimes we all need a tender touch
And tears can fall, they won't be seen
They'll dry up if we start to sing

I'll go low and you'll go high
We'll sing until our lungs go dry
We'll blast the radio and scream and shout
And wax philosophical until the stars come out

Just one time
Just one day,
But 'once' can bring us to our knees.

Just once,
I say,
But we know I'm mistaken.
'Cause "just once" becomes forever.

And forever's taken.

Nicknames I made up for most of the lovely folks I roleplay with. *updated

I'm going to give everyone nicknames, because, why not? If you want me to remove you, shoot me a PM, but these are meant to be compliments, of course :)


Hikari_Yagaza: The Sweetness Thing Ever...with a dark side...dun dun dunnn.

Vali: Maker of Magic

BLNK: The Headspace Explorer

The World-Weaver

Skrifa: The Starlight Surfer (with a cottage in Middle Earth!)

Syl: Authentic, Pure-Hearted Fantasy Weaver

BooksAreBae: The Wisecracking Smile-Bringer

Cookiesareyummie: Pia Douwes Fan (a.k.a. PDF)

PerfectIsVeryBoring: Firestarter!

The Girl With A Voice That Could Rule The World.


In her hands.


Hollyfrost: Protector of the Last Unicorn, Sentinel of the Light Within

North-wood: Conjurer of Supernatural Beings both Great and Small, both Fearsome and Fantastical.

SexySultryAngelBabe: Welcoming Warrior

Redrose: The Calm, Cool & Collected One

Frick: (I cant, even.) The Achingly Eloquent, Unfathomably Concise, Last Bastion of Honesty and Sincerity

GarnaalProductions: The Noble Energizer!

EMO: The Chivalrous Poet

Friend of the Doctor, or
The Wordsmith With a Tale

Appreciation Wall!

Appreciation Wall

- These are all people I appreciate for various reasons!

- Everybody is in alphabetical order and the plus means we talk regularly.

Birdy99 - RP, OOC, and Art
Blnk - RP and OOC
BooksAreBae - RP and OOC+
Cass - I just think she's cool
Celestina_Gray - HFY and Poetry
Cookiesareyummie - RP, OOC
Dream - OOC
Dunedain Ranger - Fan of his RPs and OOC
Eclipse (Spiritualeclipse) - RP and OOC
Emo - RP and OOC+
Frick - OOC+
GarnaalProductions - OOC
Hikari_Yagaza - RP and OOC+
Hollyfrost - RP and OOC
Inkwren - OOC
Jaybird - public forums
Kansas_Venmouth - public forums
Kim - Creator/Admin/Nice Person
Kruhlee - RP, some OOC (and first person I ever roleplayed with)
LadyOfGondor - RP and OOC+
LowRezCrab - RP and OOC+
MercyInReach - OOC and HFY
NortherStar - forums and such
North_Woods - RP and some OOC
Novalynn - HFY, Art Pool Thingy, some OOC, but mainly admiration
Pearlprettiness - RP and OOC+
Sanne - RP, OOC, HFY Founder!
SexySultryAngelBabe - RP and OOC+
Redrose - RP and OOC
Skrifa - RP and OOC+
SylOfficial - RP and OOC <3
Tardiscattwo - RP and OOC
Vali - RP and OOC+
Voldarian_Empire - RP (public forum) and OOC
Wixany - OOC
Zoe_Ana - RP and OOC


A Psalm of Life
By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.


I just need you to know that...

...this song is beautiful. It's a great song to sooth your mind if you're unnecessarily worried (or even if you're necessarily worried). It's like a balm for the mind. Here ya go: (Credit: LadyOfGondor) 🎡

Everything's Alright from J.C.S.S.

β˜€Here is another song. This one is aimed at ✝ Christians ✝ struggling with 🌈 LGBT issues 🌈...but honestly anyone that needs a pick-me-up, this is a gorgeous song about God's unconditional love, which I've found to be true.β˜€

No Matter What by Ryan Stevenson

Favorite genres:

F/F Hurt Comfort (multi-para)
F/F Romance (multi-para)

However if I have role-played with you before, you are very special to me so don't hesitate to ask if you have a good idea! I'll likely say yes, because who says no to a guaranteed good experience? That's how I feel about the people I have in the past or currently am role-playing with. I will always say yes and MAKE the time, darnit. Because you're amazing.***

*Healing well from fender bender on 7/19/18. Feeling good. Have a different car now.*

Roleplay Preferences! :)

M/F Romance
F/F Romance
Angsty Stuff (just propose something)

Roleplay is amazing. You can be vulnerable without being vulnerable, because it's your character that is being vulnerable. You can be angst-ridden and nihilistic even if you're normally a cheerful and optimistic, because it's your character being angst-ridden and nihilistic. You can be romantic even though you're normally shy, emotive even though you're normally stoic, angry even though you're normally tame, emotionally intimate even though you're normally distant. Roleplay is amazing.

*PLEASE PM not comment, 'cause I don't usually see the comments on posts that I publish unless I specifically go back to that post (it doesn't notify me). So please just PM me. Thanks.*

My response time lately is once or twice a week. I like literate role-playing and I tend to post multi-paragraph responses.

Favorite Quotes by People I Roleplay With!

Note: I can't fit all my favorite quotes on this page, but here are a few particularly eloquent, meaningful, or interesting quotes that impressed or touched me, written by the wonderful people I roleplay with. They might not seem to follow a theme, but they all have one thing in common: they all made me smile.

"Stop. Breathe. Take a deep breath. Count to five as you breath in. Exhale, and count to five as you do. Now look around.

Name five things you can see.

Name four things you can touch.

Name three things you can feel.

Name two things you can smell.

Name one thing you can taste.


- LadyOfGondor

"I am weird! I find beauty in strange things sometimes"

- Me

"You aren't weird, hush. You're perfectly you."

- LadyOfGondor

"You can do whatever you set your mind to do."

- Hikari_Yagaza

"Nihilistic post-ironic anti-sincerists"


"At the end of the day roleplaying is supposed to make you feel."


"You can do it, I believe in you!"

- CelestinaGrey

"Without the small step of man, the giant leap would never have occurred"

- LowRezCrab!
"She makes rainbows in the sky whenever it rains" <---my RpR friend said this about me and it made me cry. It still does.

- Vali

TardisCatTwo: "Rename: Death"

Me: "Death = something to be avoided but not to be feared. A doorway to another world opening perhaps after our destiny is complete. A narrow road navigated by a good shepherd who is everywhere for those who see him and nowhere for those who don't, but always available, a mystery hidden in plain sight.

Rename: Beauty"

TardisCatTwo: "That"
Quotes that I thought of and am working on perfecting:

"I speak the language of stories."

"The language we speak is the language of stories. Thoughts are the letters of this language, events are the words, entire stories are the sentences, and with these sentences, we can say things that are incapable of being communicated through any other language."

"If you think something might be about you, it's probably not about you."





Role-playing, for me, is a way to express dramatic emotions that don't always have an opportunity to be expressed in every day life: love, longing, hate, loyalty, sacrifice, anguish, loneliness, hope, desperation, awe, salvation, chivalry, bravery, boldness, and even insanity. Role-playing is a safe way to explore our own Jungian Shadow, and our unconcious mind. On a lighter note, it's fun meeting new people.

A stream-of-consciousness moment

Have you ever sung with someone? Done the high part, while they did the low part? Or done the low part while they did the high part? Done the part of the background singer while they sustained the long notes, perfectly in synch, perfectly in time? Have you done that? Because there's no feeling quite like that. It's the feeling of flow that artists get. You all get it, when you're writing, I'll bet. When feelings just come from somewhere beyond, or some part of yourself deep inside, and they seem to approach perfection. Dancers get it, when everyone is in synch. Maybe even athletes get it. Anyone who brings what they do up to the level of art. To a level beyond themselves somehow, where they're one star in a starry sky, one dancer in a line, one marcher in a marching band that's sliding around to make the shape of a football out of human bodies who are also playing "the eye of the tiger," and they pull it off flawlessly.


I crave that. I crave my voice melting into someone else's voice who knows how to stay two notes above the note I'm singing, our consciousnesses surfing the sound waves together. I crave it like I crave touch. And I crave touch all the time.

Music is touch. Think about it. Music is touch, because those sound waves are vibrating the air molecules that are vibrating the little bones in the inside of the listeners ear which triggers a signal to their brain. When you're singing to someone, you're touching them. When you're taking to someone, you're touching them.

But there's something about music, I'll tell you what. It's like the difference between haphazardly bumping into someone, and intentionally reaching out and stroking their face. It's a controlled motion. Your voice maintains control of itself as does theirs, and your voices travel together, on a journey, sometimes vibrating at the same frequency and sometimes diverging into beautiful and complex patterns.

I just....I got to sing the other night with folks during a night out. And I miss it. I miss it bad. It's just like all the other things I crave. Or maybe it's the same thing. Closeness. Harmony. Personal attention. Emotional intimacy.

Being seen, being heard, being felt, being known.

If you listen to me sing, you know me. If you read what I write, you know me. God help you, if you write with me. You've been on a journey inside of my mind and heart and soul and you hold a sacred place there...or is that overdoing it?

It's not everyday people create worlds together.

It's special to me.

It's an honor to be known, and it's an honor that anyone on me would want to know me. I am honored. I'm just honored, all the time. I can't get over it.

That people could share these things, with each other, open their minds and hearts to each other, I hardly know what to make of it.

Its like an oasis. Where people can create art together. It's like...what is this? What is this place? Could this be real? Is someone going to burst the bubble and the illusion disappear? How could this be real? People that are so honest and so forthcoming about themselves? When are people going to suddenly clam up and start talking about the weather? How long am I going to have this privilege? How long will this magic last? How is it being sustained; how can I make sure I never break it?

For, anything good, I imagine I can break it. Any group of people, chatting, having a good time, I imagine I can break up the whole lot of them, scattering them back into their respective homes, with an uncomfortably long soapbox on religion or politics, an uncomfortably long pause between subjects, or an endless stream of mind-numbing filler that shoots out of my mouth like a fire hose shoots out water in an effort to fill the silence...and it destroys meaningful conversation. It sends people running for the hills, if only to get rid of me and regroup later. That's how I feel. That's what happens to me. In real life. Sometimes.

I am not a person of groups.

I have no clue what to do in a group.

I know what to do with one person. I know how to let one person at a time know that they're valued. I know how to do that. When there are 10 or 3 or 7--I don't know how to make those people feel valued! I don't how to shut up. I don't know how to wait my turn. I don't know how to relax. I don't know how to breathe. I don't know how to wait. I don't know how to listen. I don't know how to just. Let it Be. I don't know what to do with them. It's best for me to avoid groups of people that are not strangers.

So...what...a group of people who actually like me...who are not put off by me? Really? It makes no sense.

How long before I screw it up, I wonder? How can there be this many understanding people in one place? Is it an writer thing?

Who are you people, and why are you nice to me? Who are you people, and why do you open your lives to me? Who are you people, and why are you so special? Why are you so beautiful? Why are you so amazing?

Who are you people, and why do you want to know me? Why do you hold me in high regard? What have I stumbled into here?

Why do you think I'm worth something? Instead of thinking I'm an awkward oaf who blunders through sentences, rambles through social gatherings, hides out in cars and bathtubs under many guises to avoid too much social stimulation, even from the people that are closest to me?

Who is late for everything, and interrupts everyone, who can't control a classroom, who can't not be awkward, who renigs on their responsibilities, who is barely hanging on but always makes the car payment and the rent, who knows what to do, but half the time can't do it, who doesn't know how to move forward? You treat me like somebody. Why?

But I know why. Don't tell me why; I know my good qualities. I don't need a boost, I just need to explain.

I need to explain what mystifies me about this place. Why I'm constantly standing in the middle of the plains of RpR, doing 360 degree turns, looking around like I've suddenly found myself in the Land of Oz. Why I'm always giving everyone compliments.

Who are you people, and why do you treat me like somebody important?

Why do I feel, every day, like I'm talking to the next Einstein, or the next Leonardo, or the next Picasso? Why do I always feel like I'm in the presence of genuis? What's happening here? Why are you all so good?

I feel known. I feel seen. I feel heard. I feel understood. I feel like I am in Bizarro World.

That's why. If you're wondering why, that's why. This is like water to a thirsty person. Like food to a staving person. Does it make more sense now? Why I seem like the Orphan Annie singing "the sun will come out tomorrow" in the middle of the Great Depression? It's not because I'm so wonderful and great. It's because I'm not. And, yet, you treat me like I am. And that mystifies me. And I appreciate it. And that appreciation overflows, like a river, and floods the plains. That's what you're seeing. A reject being treated like a worthy individual, and the gratitude that that engenders. Does that make sense? Y'all should expect it.

Extra poems by me...'cause it's somewhere to collect them, ya know? So yes.

Rave Reviews

  • Abigail is such a sweet person. And we haven't role played yet,but in the RPR forums,her replies are detailed,punctuation is on point,and I haven't seen spelling errors,thats how i know she is a good role player. I saw a bit of her poetry and its amazing,i could never come up with even one sentence.
    -- JetStorm
  • The heart of the RPRepository community. The absolute blessing and treasure to all of us. She's the angelic presence in my life. She's full of friendship kindness love and understanding. She is a total sweetheart IC and OCC.
    -- LakotaSiouxWarrior

See all of Abigail_Austin's kudos »»

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