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Forums » RP Discussion » I feel like I've been replaced in my RP group...

I don't roleplay as much as I used to, let me start with that. I go to college and have a part time job currently and those things take up most of the time I used to use as time for writing and I truly hate it because it's one of my favorite hobbies- you gotta have a life though, right?

I was a part of this group and had several canon characters from various fandoms I really enjoyed roleplaying, and I liked to think I was good at them too. I tried my best to keep all their interactions and thoughts canon and frankly poured a lot of heart into them. From what I knew, my partners enjoyed the way I wrote too. But because I had school and work to worry about I didn't have as much time to respond to plots as I did before. My responses were a bit far and few between, but I always tried my best to write as much and include as much information as possible in them so I could at least keep up with the plot. My DM eventually went and recruited some more people since we had lost some players around this time. One of them happened to write one of my favorite characters I wrote and my DM offered my character to them. They told me because they didn't want me to struggle keeping up with the plot and I tried to be chill about it even though it honestly hurt quiet a bit. It was my favorite character to write at the time, after all, and I had spent a lot of time perfecting my characterization of him. Another thing that had stung a bit was that my DM shipped the friend of my character with the new person playing my character, and I had previously wanted to rp the said ship with them, but they said they didn't think their chemistry matched enough for us to be any more than close friends in plots. (Which I was more than fine with, I wasn't about to force a ship on anyone, let alone my DM)

Eventually more and more of my characters got offered to other players in the group- which started in plots I wasn't added to then bled into some plots that I was currently in or new plots I did get added to- and I was eventually left with nothing except for my oc's. I have my opinion's on how they wrote my characters since we all had different interpretations of them I suppose, but I won't bring up much here since it seems a bit petty. I will say however there were times when I felt the characters were written very much out of character, and there was one situation in particular that irked me. My favorite character to write, the first one to be given away, was religious. I had an understanding that most people in my group weren't very religious or had been hurt by religion so I tended to steer away from any such topics or didn't dwell on them long since I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable because in all honesty it could get uncomfortable for me too. Sometimes if I brought up the characters religion in ooc discussions, some of the other players said I read too much into it and that it wasn't as important to him as I made it (the character literally left his old position in the military to become a priest at one point in canon so I mean..) The new person who began to write went so far as to question other characters about their salvation, and how badly they wanted to see them in Heaven. And like.... there was no backlash when I know I would have been reprimanded for something like that.

I understand perfectly that my DM needed to keep plots going at an effective pace, and I understand because I didn't have as much time as I used to I wasn't able to keep up at times. I understand my DM was trying to be nice, but I don't think they realized how much it hurt. With plots going on now, I don't feel like I can try taking back any of my original characters because everyone else has gotten used to everyone else's interpretation and I don't want to cause any awkwardness or conflict. I've picked up some new characters from different fandoms- one's that I know the others don't know a whole lot about so they can't pick up my characters from there- and I try to fit back in into the plots we have going on, but I feel like the only other people who will still write with me is my DM and my other friend who I've always roleplayed ships with (they never took any of my characters). I don't know if it's because my new characters don't exactly fit in the fandom- I try my best to adapt them as need be- or if there's a different reason.

Have I been replaced? Do I have the right to feel upset and hurt over this? What should I do?
There's a possibility I might delete this post later due to my own self-consciousness, but I wanted to offer my thoughts on this.

I wanted to answer your last questions first.

Have I been replaced?

I don't know. Just judging by what I've read here, it appears something along the lines of that might have happened (which is awful) but I would recommend you contact the DM and communicate with them exactly how you feel. Nothing will change if they aren't aware of your thoughts and feelings.

That being said, if they react poorly, or if you feel uncomfortable, you are allowed to block and or report people if needed. Just a reminder, but reporting someone doesn't mean they automatically get in trouble, it just means the mods will perhaps send a gentle reminder or something. All of the mods on RPR are nice so don't be afraid to do so if you feel it's needed.

I understand if something like that would make you uncomfortable though. Just remember those tools are there if you need them.

Do I have the right to feel upset and hurt over this?

Yes. No matter what, how you feel is always valid, and if you feel hurt, you feel hurt.

What should I do?

Communicate with your DM. Prepare to drop this current RP you have with them and those other players. I don't know for sure, but chances are you aren't having very much fun with the RP given that you had to pick up all-new characters and you had to ensure that they couldn't be taken from you. If you aren't having fun-then there's no point in forcing it.

My opinion:

Personally, I feel as though the DM shouldn't have just given away the canon character you were playing like that. They should have asked for permission first. If you had dibs first on a certain character, it strikes me as rude that the DM would just give it away.

Another thing that had stung a bit was that my DM shipped the friend of my character with the new person playing my character, and I had previously wanted to rp the said ship with them, but they said they didn't think their chemistry matched enough for us to be any more than close friends in plots. (Which I was more than fine with, I wasn't about to force a ship on anyone, let alone my DM)

I don't know about this one. It sounds pretty....how do I put this. Bad. Why would they RP a ship with someone else and not you? It just doesn't make sense to me. This is sending me a lot of red flags about the RP you are a part of honestly.

My favorite character to write, the first one to be given away, was religious. I had an understanding that most people in my group weren't very religious or had been hurt by religion so I tended to steer away from any such topics or didn't dwell on them long since I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable because in all honesty, it could get uncomfortable for me too. Sometimes if I brought up the characters religion in ooc discussions, some of the other players said I read too much into it and that it wasn't as important to him as I made it (the character literally left his old position in the military to become a priest at one point in canon so I mean..) The new person who began to write went so far as to question other characters about their salvation, and how badly they wanted to see them in Heaven. And like.... there was no backlash when I know I would have been reprimanded for something like that.

OOOOh boy. This is a whole can of worms right here.

If someone else is doing something with no consequence that you would have been reprimanded for, then something is seriously not right. in addition, from all that you've told me, religion is quite important indeed to the character in question and they told you not to touch on it.

Why?

If someone else is allowed to question other characters about their salvation, and how badly they wanted to see them in Heaven. Why aren't you allowed to touch on religion at all? That's another big red flag to me.


Sorry, this whole thing was a mess, but really this situation does not seem fun or fair to you. In my opinion, life is too short to deal with stressful stuff like this. I say that its best to communicate, but really I'm an awful communicator and I would probably just drop the RP and not try to "Fix" things. I don't believe in a situation like this it would do much good.

I'd probably say,"Hey sorry. I'm not really liking the direction the RP is going and feel as though with my horrid response times and inability to keep up with everything, it's best I duck out from this RP and maybe start one of my own where everyone has a similar schedule to mine."

something like that anyway.

Er....hoped I helped in any way. I hope you can resolve this situation with minimal stress to yourself.
Hi, first of all, thank you for answering this and sharing your opinions. It really means a lot to me. The rp group in question exists outside of rpr so I can't really get mods involved. My DM has an account on here for possible recruiting, but they haven't used it in a while and I'd like to resolve this on my own as best I can. I actually didn't realize how bad this situation sounded; it wasn't til I read your reply I started to look what I was going through and kind of went like....huh... yikes.

Considering the rp I'm currently in with this group has gone inactive for a few days, I may just let it die. It's just me, my friend I ship with, and the DM anyway so I don't think anyone will get too upset. I'm not sure how I'll bring up this topic with my DM, or when I will, but it may just be time for me to look for a new group. The players that had left before the new recruits came in had left for a reason and I'm starting to see why.

I appreciate all your advice though, thank you for trying to help.

JoJoApples wrote:
There's a possibility I might delete this post later due to my own self-consciousness, but I wanted to offer my thoughts on this.

I wanted to answer your last questions first.

Have I been replaced?

I don't know. Just judging by what I've read here, it appears something along the lines of that might have happened (which is awful) but I would recommend you contact the DM and communicate with them exactly how you feel. Nothing will change if they aren't aware of your thoughts and feelings.

That being said, if they react poorly, or if you feel uncomfortable, you are allowed to block and or report people if needed. Just a reminder, but reporting someone doesn't mean they automatically get in trouble, it just means the mods will perhaps send a gentle reminder or something. All of the mods on RPR are nice so don't be afraid to do so if you feel it's needed.

I understand if something like that would make you uncomfortable though. Just remember those tools are there if you need them.

Do I have the right to feel upset and hurt over this?

Yes. No matter what, how you feel is always valid, and if you feel hurt, you feel hurt.

What should I do?

Communicate with your DM. Prepare to drop this current RP you have with them and those other players. I don't know for sure, but chances are you aren't having very much fun with the RP given that you had to pick up all-new characters and you had to ensure that they couldn't be taken from you. If you aren't having fun-then there's no point in forcing it.

My opinion:

Personally, I feel as though the DM shouldn't have just given away the canon character you were playing like that. They should have asked for permission first. If you had dibs first on a certain character, it strikes me as rude that the DM would just give it away.

Another thing that had stung a bit was that my DM shipped the friend of my character with the new person playing my character, and I had previously wanted to rp the said ship with them, but they said they didn't think their chemistry matched enough for us to be any more than close friends in plots. (Which I was more than fine with, I wasn't about to force a ship on anyone, let alone my DM)

I don't know about this one. It sounds pretty....how do I put this. Bad. Why would they RP a ship with someone else and not you? It just doesn't make sense to me. This is sending me a lot of red flags about the RP you are a part of honestly.

My favorite character to write, the first one to be given away, was religious. I had an understanding that most people in my group weren't very religious or had been hurt by religion so I tended to steer away from any such topics or didn't dwell on them long since I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable because in all honesty, it could get uncomfortable for me too. Sometimes if I brought up the characters religion in ooc discussions, some of the other players said I read too much into it and that it wasn't as important to him as I made it (the character literally left his old position in the military to become a priest at one point in canon so I mean..) The new person who began to write went so far as to question other characters about their salvation, and how badly they wanted to see them in Heaven. And like.... there was no backlash when I know I would have been reprimanded for something like that.

OOOOh boy. This is a whole can of worms right here.

If someone else is doing something with no consequence that you would have been reprimanded for, then something is seriously not right. in addition, from all that you've told me, religion is quite important indeed to the character in question and they told you not to touch on it.

Why?

If someone else is allowed to question other characters about their salvation, and how badly they wanted to see them in Heaven. Why aren't you allowed to touch on religion at all? That's another big red flag to me.


Sorry, this whole thing was a mess, but really this situation does not seem fun or fair to you. In my opinion, life is too short to deal with stressful stuff like this. I say that its best to communicate, but really I'm an awful communicator and I would probably just drop the RP and not try to "Fix" things. I don't believe in a situation like this it would do much good.

I'd probably say,"Hey sorry. I'm not really liking the direction the RP is going and feel as though with my horrid response times and inability to keep up with everything, it's best I duck out from this RP and maybe start one of my own where everyone has a similar schedule to mine."

something like that anyway.

Er....hoped I helped in any way. I hope you can resolve this situation with minimal stress to yourself.
Yeah, no problem! Glad you figured out how to get it sorted.

I wish you the best in all future RP endeavors.

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