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Forums » Art & Creativity » Thoughts, fresh eyes, and criticism needed!

Hallo! I've been putting together the ideas for a story over the past couple days and I need some fresh eyes! It's a 12-page Google doc with over 3000 words and it's filled with information about a dystopian alternate universe in a bulleted list format, and anyone is welcome to read and at least tell me if it is interesting!

The basic idea is a medical company overthrew the government almost 5 decades ago and is currently dealing with their own rebellion issues. The story will be from the POVs of two members of the rebellion group known as The Order of the Unseen. One member is in a leadership position and the other only joined recently. (I'm currently rethinking some things so it might be from the pov of a character from the rebellion group and one character in the medical company!)

TW: There will be LGBT details and the entire story IS based on mental illnesses being handled and treated badly.

The link (still a WIP!): click here!
Hello Ruined Lungs. I’d offer you a joint but your lungs are already shot. I had a cursory read of your dystopian world and all I can say is ‘Wow!’

The depth you have put into this is astounding! It is indeed most interesting! It has a 1984ish feel to what I read. I do plan on going over your doc again as I’ve only given it a spot read but I do think the deep creativity you have put into this is really inspiring and I for one love it!

Your main characters Michael and Tory have a solid foundation in this cool world you have created! Could I go so far as to say all you have created here could make a good novel?
Wow! I love this! (Dystopian stories are really some of my favourites.) I think the idea is super interesting and I'd love to read a story about this. The concept is unique, not one of those done-to-death type things. ... I'm not really good at putting thoughts into words some of the time, but I really do love this. There's so much depth and thought put into it and I just - WOW! Keep up the great work.

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