Forums » RP Discussion » A lengthily analyse of roleplay, descs and trust.

Didn't intend for the thread to get this long but once I started I just had to keep going. I'll try to break things down.

Roleplay gives muse. This is good for making descs. But there's a catch.

MUSE
When you can't find people to roleplay with you can lack this muse. Yet in order to "appear interesting" (at a glance without posting or communicating yet) you have to have a decent desc. Or ad. etc. It's my weak point but that's only because I don't post often enough to get the muse for it (have been getting back into roleplay lately though). Through roleplay I have certainty. I feel like there's a reason to make that desc. It's more then a "Maybe it will get attention or maybe not". It's "character building". With history. It's more "solid". I've DONE this. I can add it to myself. It's me. Much better then "conjure something out of my own imagination alone". I did it with someone else already which leads to adding on to myself.

So on the one hand you might find yourself in a situation where you feel like you have to make an interesting desc. In order to get people to roleplay with you. This can actually be a lot of pressure when someone isn't roleplaying yet (and with that in mind it's no wonder people struggle to get into it when they lack experience. Please be mindful of that). But on the other hand in order to get more muse/ideas you might have to "do more" to have a better idea of what to put in it. Which is going to be a struggle when you fall into a more "rare" area. People do like to harp on about comfort zones. But the majority isn't an excuse to take a dump on the minority. I'm not just saying that for roleplay specifically. I'm saying that for any and every situation. No one should feel oppressed. Everyone should have a place without living in fear. But in order to find that place such fears may have to be faced and challenged. Now this is life. But it can also make for really good roleplay. Just look at Dragon Age. Or how dragons are often the "bad guys" but then a game spins it around and makes them more "grey" and you don't have to kill them. It's all "context". It all depends. It's variety. It's change, adapting, things being different then what people expected. The thing is people get too used with what is "comfortable" and "known" turning a blind eye to the unknown and considering more then what they know already. Frankly, it's ignorance. And I can not trust someone that is not observant. Which sets the next topic up quite nicely.

TRUST
Personally I'm the "darker" and more "evil" type of character. But focused on fun and entertainment with lewds/affection/intimacy. On F-chat this is less of a concern (it maintains a PURELY none judgemental approach in ALL things). I manage well enough on Second as well, once I see someone that isn't "squirmish". There's a little more "leeway", depending. People are older, they tend to know better. Things "should" be done X way but in reality and practice it's between the people involved regardless of what anyone else says. Which is fine provided no one is forced into situations. There's also adult places. etc. My point is some people make excuses to go "That's right/wrong" (always a losing game) and some people avoid that trap. What matters is choice and consent. Or otherwise allowing flow to happen, but when it does if I think you're in over your head I'm giving full and fair warning. Now consider all of this for a moment. How many people actually give you the courtesy to keep your safety in mind that much in roleplay? Or, more specifically, how often have they shown it? There's shorter ways of doing that when actually talking to someone, but I got things to do in my day and can't wait for every response in a thread. I'm cramming it all in. So if it's long that's why.

Also worth keeping in mind that people often go "Nothing serious. Fun alone. Blah blah blah" (being blunt. We're all still human beings here). That CAN be fine, but if you're taking that approach you better be responsible for your lack of foresight. Some people really do roll with whatever (which is amazing when they just make the best of whatever you're doing) and some people CLAIM too then REGRET it. Consider this a warning about jumping in blind. If you're going to go in blind, of which can be good, make sure you accept any and all consequences of doing so. I personally am adaptable but do have to stay true to my character. I in turn do the same. I find it fun. Plot twists. random events. It's like RNG in a computer game with randomly generated dungeons/monsters/encounters. Sometime, despite knowing awareness is often safer, there are time I PREFER to be completely blind to what's about to happen. If you've shown you don't judge anything about me, don't avoid anything about me and have focused on my happiness you can keep me in the dark as much as you like because I trust you.

SAFETY
On this site I actually have to remind people that what happens between us stays between us (since many people can be... unable to handle evil events. But please consider how you find watching people die on TV is considered entertainment before judging) or if necessary take things off site. Which is ALSO something I might have to work into a desc . If nothing else you should know what I'm like and what you're getting into when engaging with me. Or at least what can happen if you're not in control. etc, etc. A number of you are going to be younger and less experienced. Frankly, and no offence, I have to weed out the weak. If you can't handle it, you can't handle it. It's for your own safety. The test I set is simple enough. Don't be evasive. Don't be close minded. Be confident. Don't hide behind safe labels to not consider context (consider more then your own viewpoint). That's it. You only fail when you fall silent and can't make a counter argument or provide an opinion beyond "because I say so". fortunately I rarely have to get into those kind of in depth conversations. "Worry less, do more." Because it beats assuming the worst. But it's kind of hard when people let fear rule them, you know.

A good number of people are open minded on this site though. And get into such events. Despite how some people will complain about it. But consider the reverse situation. Where you might be the one where you feel like it's hard to even coexist. This brings in various topics but let's circumvent all that. We'll be here all day otherwise. Long story short, what two (or more) people engage in is their business and theirs alone. Your choice to be involved or not. Unless it's posted in public, but even if not for the "evil" things I post I'd still prefer to keep events "personal" just because of less interruptions and enhancing intimacy and such. Baring any third party that gets involved (Even then it still wouldn't be public. At least not on this site). that's not because I want to hide or anything (the reverse), it's more "group intimacy, understanding and acceptance in all things without judgement". I can and will accept any events occurring with my character and adapt to the situation. I desire, perhaps even expect "bad events", uncomfortable events at that, to play out. I want this to happen to me and I will do that to you. But it will not subtract from the other fun events being engaged in. it's called contrast. It's more "realistic" and "immersive". But more importantly it makes us consider "context" and how to "Make the best in the worst". Imagine you're in the worst possible situation ever. How can you turn that around into fun quickly? Maybe you didn't like situation X but situation Y makes up for it. X may be needed for Y. Or not. It all depends.

EXPERIENCE
The balance then (when it comes to descs) is how one defines their character while at the same time targeting a specific "audience". First of all you and your character. But then there's what your character is like. How they interact in certain situations. Which people will only get a better understanding about after being in those situations (through roleplay). When actually in a roleplay events are actually happening. Actions. Back and forth. There's less assuming, there's more doing. That's you right there in that moment seeing and observing what your character is doing (and making it happen). But when it comes to descs that's less "action" based and more "Example" based. I find it easier to be specific then to generalise. But because of specific events I find it easier TO generalise. For example, I actually got in a roleplay where I got turned into a dragon (much more to it but that's the gist) and it's given me ideas of what to put in a desc. Because of this roleplay that has already happened (before a descriptive desc) I feel like I have a reason to make a desc in the first place. eg: I have more muse for it. Now here's the thing. People often get avoided for not having a descriptive desc. Roleplay also isn't as common as it used to be. But I'm thinking that might be because people are expecting too much at times. Doubting some peoples posting ability just because their descs are less detailed. There's other reasons for this (like people moving in together after knowing each other that long through roleplay. Physical takes priority at that point) but if we're talking about descs specifically and how it affects roleplay itself, in my experience "Enough but not too much" is often someone that can still post enough "context" to be clear and specific in their posts. Those with super long and detailed descs either post more "fluff" or get really into various details. It's about a 50/50 split there from what I've seen.

Hesitation
Now we all like a descriptive desc that tells us about the character. And a really good one that's detailed without fluff is great. But at the same time some characters have yet to "grow" properly. If we don't interact with characters so they can grow they won't have better descs. You might want someone to have a better desc, but are you giving them a reason too? Is that seemingly not so interesting person more fun then you assumed because you didn't ask, discuss or otherwise post with them to find out? What I'm wondering here is how many people assume. They might not mean too, but they do. And with these assumptions comes doubt. Of which can be easily misplaced. At least when you roleplay with someone once you actually see the proof.

The struggle of course is how some people go "Have an interesting desc or I avoid you". While people with descs that are lacking CAN post in less detail that is not always the case. The reason I'm saying this is because I've gotten into a really good roleplay with someone lately and their desc is short. But still something as opposed to nothing. In fact it's possible that people with "basic" (but still at least somewhat detailed) descs seem to post more "context" without having to involve "unneeded fluff". And hesitate less to do more with you. I can only base this on my own experience and interactions with others though. There are of course exceptions to the rule. My theory is that people that place less expectations get into roleplay more because they're less "picky" which makes them better at posting more "context". Due to simply having posted more often/daily in various situations (experience). The end result is that they don't hesitate to make it about your happiness, provided you're posting about their desires, wants and needs in turn (thus, are you the one hesitating/holding back?)

It's an interesting topic the one you are exposing. I'm new to this forum so It has given me a much needed approach to the actual situation here, thanks for that!

What you are talking about the muse, and the capability of making a more potent situation or context with the help of somebody is a part of being a human being. We are tribal at nature, and so we usually respond to a like minded individual as if it's our own inspiration. It is an efective way of growing strong and filling the gaps that we inevitably have as a finite being.

I also think that the rng part of roleplaying is kind of lacking in this forum. I have been roleplaying since nearly twenty year (even if I started doing it more frequently fifteen years ago) and what I think it's the best feeling is the interaction with other people and to let them surprise you, and do so with them. But I don't know if it is a matter of trust in others or a matter of not wanting to leave the comfort zone. But If it is like you have said, I think there's a lot of people here not only missing a lot of fun, but also not letting themselves grow not only as roleplayers, but as a person.

I think that roleplaying is fundamental for living. Not in a way of "hey you need this to have fun" but in a "properly done is a very useful way of growing as a person, in a safe space, in situations you can't do in real life." This let you not only see what others feel or think, but how they are and how they can express themselves differently in a lot of ways.

The desires we feel are important, but I think there is a fun that derives from the pleasure of improvising, letting go and learning when to be funny or when to be serious. It's safe, fantastic social interaction! There should always be a shared place for desire, but I think that the satisfaction of these don't need to be the exact center of all roleplaying interactions, because if you do that, what you are really trying is to control people's action so they satisfy your needs while you satisfy their's. And even if that can be a part of a relationship, to use that as a basis is bound to work less than a lot of other different ways of approaching to each other, like building something from a point of curiosity, caring for the other person or simple and plainly, just wanting to understand each other, inwhich roleplaying can help in s lot of ways.

Also, appearing interesting can be really just as ephimeral as anything, judging a book by it's cover it's what usually makes us fall into a lot of traps in life, so better to watch out for that.

This is quite a good write-up (I’m guessing that ‘descs’ meant descriptions?) and agree with a lot of it. Personally I like having a bit of ‘blindness’ in RP’s as it keeps a deeper interest in the progression of the stories. I sort of like getting out of my comfort zone, and try and encourage my writing partners to push their comfort zone boundaries in as much as it stimulates their creativity.


This is indeed a good reason to roleplay. Like anything, you just need to ride the snake and own it, and be aware of when it starts to own you to the detriment of one’s real life. I read recently a topic of someone’s need to change their roleplaying style to keep things on the level in their real personal life, and I’m surprised this aspect of roleplaying isn’t discussed more. It is usually involving some level of ERP and beliefs as to whether the roleplaying between the characters is considered ‘real life’ cheating or not by the writer’s partner. It is something usually not ever talked about, let alone mentioned publicly, yet tends to sometimes be the ‘phantom rhinoceros’ in the RP room, calmly standing by, until it isn’t. This technically incorporates into the discussions (that are more often seen) about ‘keeping RL & RP seperate’. It is also likely these aspects are the most likely explanation to many of the sudden unexplained ‘line-outs’ of accounts on RPR, taking their characters with them.