This is what I do with my time. I try to figure out the logistics of important conversation, as well as conversation and social interaction in general. On a site of people who are typically (and this in no way applies to everyone) relatively introverted and sometimes socially awkward around people they don't know, I think some of you can understand.
For those of you too lazy to watch the entire video, it basically discusses the reasons why a specific person, the one giving the talk, decided to reach out to people and try to get them to open up. It poses some interesting and important questions: why do we make smalltalk? Who really prefers discussing the weather over having a meaningful conversation? The person giving the talk decided to go out and ask strangers some questions that bordered on personal, and I kinda liked the idea.
That said, I'd like to ask this community the two questions that she originally asked:
What do you want to do before you die? (Why?)
If you figured out that you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do?
And I would add to that last one, "...and why haven't you done it yet?"
These questions are meant to elicit stories from people. I'd like to see stories on this thread, so even if you really want to learn to roller skate before you die, or something similarly shallow, that's great and all... but try and include something personal about yourself, you know? However small it is, it's appreciated.
I hope to hear some interesting responses from (anyone) you guys!
For those of you too lazy to watch the entire video, it basically discusses the reasons why a specific person, the one giving the talk, decided to reach out to people and try to get them to open up. It poses some interesting and important questions: why do we make smalltalk? Who really prefers discussing the weather over having a meaningful conversation? The person giving the talk decided to go out and ask strangers some questions that bordered on personal, and I kinda liked the idea.
That said, I'd like to ask this community the two questions that she originally asked:
What do you want to do before you die? (Why?)
If you figured out that you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do?
And I would add to that last one, "...and why haven't you done it yet?"
These questions are meant to elicit stories from people. I'd like to see stories on this thread, so even if you really want to learn to roller skate before you die, or something similarly shallow, that's great and all... but try and include something personal about yourself, you know? However small it is, it's appreciated.
My responses
@What do you want to do before you die? (Why?)
I'd really like to influence the world... and be recognized for it. As generic as it sounds, I firmly believe that I have the power to do so. Anyone does. I guess, in a way, I already have changed the world, though it is admittedly only the small world of my hometown high school and this neighborhood I'm living in. There are so many people who need someone to listen to them, and I'm someone who is great at listening and horrible at speaking. I've been told that a lot of the time, just listening to someone can do a lot for the person. To conclude my answer to this, I just want to help someone and know that I've helped him or her. I want to help everyone, but that's unrealistic and a very heavy burden to bear. So I think I'll just stick with helping my peers.
@If you figured out that you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do? (...and why haven't you done it yet?)
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would... What would I do? I guess I'd do what most people would do and go tell everyone I know that I love them. Well... maybe not everyone. Most of the people I've met at school I think I'd leave in the dark, however cruel that might be, but I don't think they'd react well. Our pre-frontal cortexes haven't developed, you see, which is the part of the brain associated with making good decisions. I don't think my peers would be prepared to deal with the suddenness of my professed death, and I would definitely not be prepare to deal with their responses. Something bad would be destined to happen, I'm sure.
But I'd be sure to tell the people closest to me that I loved them, which would seem weird to all of them, considering the fact that I never say "I love you." Don't ask me why. I think it makes me feel weak or something. (Like, "EMOTIONS?!?! HOW PETTY!") Most of them would probably ask me if something was wrong or if I was considering anything drastic, and then I might admit that I was going to die.
And then I'd have to pull away from that sensitive conversation to write out all of my brilliant high-schooler wisdom. Say goodbye to the few friends I've managed to acquire online. And that would have spent up all of my energy, so I'd spend the last few hours with my family. Feeling bad that I hadn't been better and knowing that both my parents and all three of my younger siblings would be horrified once I was gone and the shock had worn off.
Anyways, that was depressing!
@What do you want to do before you die? (Why?)
I'd really like to influence the world... and be recognized for it. As generic as it sounds, I firmly believe that I have the power to do so. Anyone does. I guess, in a way, I already have changed the world, though it is admittedly only the small world of my hometown high school and this neighborhood I'm living in. There are so many people who need someone to listen to them, and I'm someone who is great at listening and horrible at speaking. I've been told that a lot of the time, just listening to someone can do a lot for the person. To conclude my answer to this, I just want to help someone and know that I've helped him or her. I want to help everyone, but that's unrealistic and a very heavy burden to bear. So I think I'll just stick with helping my peers.
@If you figured out that you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do? (...and why haven't you done it yet?)
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would... What would I do? I guess I'd do what most people would do and go tell everyone I know that I love them. Well... maybe not everyone. Most of the people I've met at school I think I'd leave in the dark, however cruel that might be, but I don't think they'd react well. Our pre-frontal cortexes haven't developed, you see, which is the part of the brain associated with making good decisions. I don't think my peers would be prepared to deal with the suddenness of my professed death, and I would definitely not be prepare to deal with their responses. Something bad would be destined to happen, I'm sure.
But I'd be sure to tell the people closest to me that I loved them, which would seem weird to all of them, considering the fact that I never say "I love you." Don't ask me why. I think it makes me feel weak or something. (Like, "EMOTIONS?!?! HOW PETTY!") Most of them would probably ask me if something was wrong or if I was considering anything drastic, and then I might admit that I was going to die.
And then I'd have to pull away from that sensitive conversation to write out all of my brilliant high-schooler wisdom. Say goodbye to the few friends I've managed to acquire online. And that would have spent up all of my energy, so I'd spend the last few hours with my family. Feeling bad that I hadn't been better and knowing that both my parents and all three of my younger siblings would be horrified once I was gone and the shock had worn off.
Anyways, that was depressing!
I hope to hear some interesting responses from (anyone) you guys!
This is a really huge question, wow. I've sat and had to contemplate over this entire thing for quite some time tonight. I watched the video through to get an idea on what I could even say to something so personal.
What do you want to do before you die? (Why?)
There are so many things in this world that I want to do personally, but I have had so much trouble getting myself outside of my own head and insecurity to be able to do any of them. One thing that I definitely want to do before I die is succeed in my career to a point at which I am sitting in the management department. Perhaps even whittle it down to becoming the head of the Night Audit team, because this is a job that I cannot explain the amount of love I have for it.
The reason I want to reach one of these higher positions is to be able to have some semblance of control and of course, better pay. There are things in which I wish I could change, but at this time I do not have the power to change them and my current team members who hold seniority to me disagree with the changes for various reasons. There's no reason to get into the semantics of how my job works, but honestly it's more or less to do with convenience and getting other people to stop assuming that "everyone is too stupid to think for themselves like that." It's a really negative thinking process here, and I'm not sure why it is that some of these people honestly think this way.
If you figured out you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do?
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I think I would first panic and be broken down by fear. I have an abashed fear of death and the permanence of it. The simple idea of it makes me feel cold, shaken, and honestly raises my heart beat quite a bit. I am honestly trying not to tremble at the thought of death.
Sigh.
If I were going to die tomorrow, despite all of my fear and crying, I would show love to the closest people in my life. I would ask them to ask me ANY question they might be wondering of me and just answer it as honestly and openly as I could possibly answer it. I would tell them the truth on my feelings, who I am, where I've wanted to go with my life, and where I want them to go with their own lives.
This question has honestly choked me, because I am so afraid of that inevitable permanence. I would write a letter to everyone whom I haven't spoken with in some time and leave it somewhere for them to read. To spill my guts out to them so they know that I'm someone who cared about their well being whether they thought it was in hostility or otherwise. How I expect BETTER from people who I give my time to, because they've shown me just how much they're capable of being better.
I would continue to encourage my husband, my sister, my mother, my brother, and my Nana to live as happily as they possibly could. I would tell them how proud I am of each and every one of them and that I know that my being gone will not ruin the world for any of them. It might SUCK for awhile, but it isn't over.
I'm actually trying hard not to cry at work, lol. You have provoked a lot of emotions here, and I don't normally allow myself to give them publicly.
I haven't done some of these things in a more grand scheme, not recently. I have however often told a few of how proud I am and given them the "pep" talk they needed on more than one occasion. I can't say I haven't at all ever done any of these things, because the people I am closest to often get these kinds of unabashed talks from me from time to time and often remember them quite well.
Thank you for these questions. I hope some others find the courage to really respond to this as well. However, from this post forward, I am going to bow out.
What do you want to do before you die? (Why?)
There are so many things in this world that I want to do personally, but I have had so much trouble getting myself outside of my own head and insecurity to be able to do any of them. One thing that I definitely want to do before I die is succeed in my career to a point at which I am sitting in the management department. Perhaps even whittle it down to becoming the head of the Night Audit team, because this is a job that I cannot explain the amount of love I have for it.
The reason I want to reach one of these higher positions is to be able to have some semblance of control and of course, better pay. There are things in which I wish I could change, but at this time I do not have the power to change them and my current team members who hold seniority to me disagree with the changes for various reasons. There's no reason to get into the semantics of how my job works, but honestly it's more or less to do with convenience and getting other people to stop assuming that "everyone is too stupid to think for themselves like that." It's a really negative thinking process here, and I'm not sure why it is that some of these people honestly think this way.
If you figured out you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do?
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I think I would first panic and be broken down by fear. I have an abashed fear of death and the permanence of it. The simple idea of it makes me feel cold, shaken, and honestly raises my heart beat quite a bit. I am honestly trying not to tremble at the thought of death.
Sigh.
If I were going to die tomorrow, despite all of my fear and crying, I would show love to the closest people in my life. I would ask them to ask me ANY question they might be wondering of me and just answer it as honestly and openly as I could possibly answer it. I would tell them the truth on my feelings, who I am, where I've wanted to go with my life, and where I want them to go with their own lives.
This question has honestly choked me, because I am so afraid of that inevitable permanence. I would write a letter to everyone whom I haven't spoken with in some time and leave it somewhere for them to read. To spill my guts out to them so they know that I'm someone who cared about their well being whether they thought it was in hostility or otherwise. How I expect BETTER from people who I give my time to, because they've shown me just how much they're capable of being better.
I would continue to encourage my husband, my sister, my mother, my brother, and my Nana to live as happily as they possibly could. I would tell them how proud I am of each and every one of them and that I know that my being gone will not ruin the world for any of them. It might SUCK for awhile, but it isn't over.
I'm actually trying hard not to cry at work, lol. You have provoked a lot of emotions here, and I don't normally allow myself to give them publicly.
I haven't done some of these things in a more grand scheme, not recently. I have however often told a few of how proud I am and given them the "pep" talk they needed on more than one occasion. I can't say I haven't at all ever done any of these things, because the people I am closest to often get these kinds of unabashed talks from me from time to time and often remember them quite well.
Thank you for these questions. I hope some others find the courage to really respond to this as well. However, from this post forward, I am going to bow out.
What do you want to do before you die? (Why?)
Genetic experimentation. Also a number of surgical alterations. I'm not a fan of humans, and really have no interest in dying as one. Every part of my life is quite simply devoted to the goal of becoming better than I, or rather we, are. Everything else is just passing time- and theres alot of that. Its been like this pretty much as far back as I can remember, and, really its the only thing I live for at all.
Its a helluva lot more than just physical characteristics that I'm talking about though. Its more like... At my most basic, I believe so strongly in a certain "light". Its almost impossible to even describe. Its a... Truth, a sincerity, a ferocity. Something I just dont see in humans. Its always in, well, fiction. You could say thats just because stories are like that, that real life doesnt have quite the same taste for the dramatic but... I cant just accept that. That light is all that I believe in and all that I live for. Either I'll make it real (and the only way to do that would be the alteration of the most basic components of our reality, which would be our minds and bodies themselves), or, if I'm wrong, I'll die unfulfilled. Either way, I cant stand by not trying.
If you figured out that you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do?
And I would add to that last one, "...and why haven't you done it yet?"
Well. Uh. Eagerly await the coming embrace of death. If I didnt have time to achieve what I want in life, I would rather just let it be over as soon as possible. I mean it when I say thats "all" I live for. I guess I would leave instructions for my compatriots about how to best cover for my absence and stay together. I havent done that yet because it would be pointless unless I was going to die in a minute or so.
Genetic experimentation. Also a number of surgical alterations. I'm not a fan of humans, and really have no interest in dying as one. Every part of my life is quite simply devoted to the goal of becoming better than I, or rather we, are. Everything else is just passing time- and theres alot of that. Its been like this pretty much as far back as I can remember, and, really its the only thing I live for at all.
Its a helluva lot more than just physical characteristics that I'm talking about though. Its more like... At my most basic, I believe so strongly in a certain "light". Its almost impossible to even describe. Its a... Truth, a sincerity, a ferocity. Something I just dont see in humans. Its always in, well, fiction. You could say thats just because stories are like that, that real life doesnt have quite the same taste for the dramatic but... I cant just accept that. That light is all that I believe in and all that I live for. Either I'll make it real (and the only way to do that would be the alteration of the most basic components of our reality, which would be our minds and bodies themselves), or, if I'm wrong, I'll die unfulfilled. Either way, I cant stand by not trying.
If you figured out that you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do?
And I would add to that last one, "...and why haven't you done it yet?"
Well. Uh. Eagerly await the coming embrace of death. If I didnt have time to achieve what I want in life, I would rather just let it be over as soon as possible. I mean it when I say thats "all" I live for. I guess I would leave instructions for my compatriots about how to best cover for my absence and stay together. I havent done that yet because it would be pointless unless I was going to die in a minute or so.
Before:
I think I'd like to go to some of these sorts of Interpersonal workshops and also take an acting class, see another country (in Europe or even farther) and write about that, and, if possible, foster a child. Maybe join an in person writer group and maybe join an in person support group. And some other things that are hard to explain, or...sound weird to explain...but they all revolve around me learning how to and getting an opportunity to express emotional intimacy IRL. I don't know how to explain it, because I AM important to people IRL, but my greatest longing is for intimacy and to really make an impact on people IRL. Anyone looking at my life would say I already have that, but it's like... there's something more specific to me that I need people to need, not just needing me as a [fill in the blank of a social role here], but needing me, you know. For who I am. My personality. My unique personality. So...I guess I want to form a certain TYPE of connection with someone and some people that I've never had before, although with my two best friends I have it in every day except a physical way, because for some reason, physical affection is just...like...it makes everyone feel or send weak to everyone else amongst the crowd I know, and I want a group of people where I can experience both of those things. It's kind of like...I want to become a full person, and I feel like I'm tilted toward the intellectual but the haven't fully/don't know how to fully express my emotional side and elicit support for that. Oh, and I've got to see a whale! I've got to see a whale in real life. I'm not joking, that's a thing on my bucket list. Preferably a humback whale or a blue whale (that's one's never going to happen, because they're the largest creatures on the planet and they don't come up to whale watching boats, I don't think.) I also want to write and publish an autobiography. And I want to meet, IRL, two people I roleplay with who are up for that, but no one has money. Lmao. Me, I don't have money.
One Day Until:
I would make sure someone can take care of my mom. I would keep doing this until it was done, even if it took up all the time left (and it would), and I couldn't do anything else. Then would tell everyone I love them too. I would pray for forgiveness for all of my sins, and then I would maybe call someone that I enjoy talking to most, or go outside and spend the time in the woods. I would make sure as hell that everyone remembers that I want to be creamated. And I would probably write everyone letters. While listening to music like Paul Simon or Carole King, soothing music to me.
I think I'd like to go to some of these sorts of Interpersonal workshops and also take an acting class, see another country (in Europe or even farther) and write about that, and, if possible, foster a child. Maybe join an in person writer group and maybe join an in person support group. And some other things that are hard to explain, or...sound weird to explain...but they all revolve around me learning how to and getting an opportunity to express emotional intimacy IRL. I don't know how to explain it, because I AM important to people IRL, but my greatest longing is for intimacy and to really make an impact on people IRL. Anyone looking at my life would say I already have that, but it's like... there's something more specific to me that I need people to need, not just needing me as a [fill in the blank of a social role here], but needing me, you know. For who I am. My personality. My unique personality. So...I guess I want to form a certain TYPE of connection with someone and some people that I've never had before, although with my two best friends I have it in every day except a physical way, because for some reason, physical affection is just...like...it makes everyone feel or send weak to everyone else amongst the crowd I know, and I want a group of people where I can experience both of those things. It's kind of like...I want to become a full person, and I feel like I'm tilted toward the intellectual but the haven't fully/don't know how to fully express my emotional side and elicit support for that. Oh, and I've got to see a whale! I've got to see a whale in real life. I'm not joking, that's a thing on my bucket list. Preferably a humback whale or a blue whale (that's one's never going to happen, because they're the largest creatures on the planet and they don't come up to whale watching boats, I don't think.) I also want to write and publish an autobiography. And I want to meet, IRL, two people I roleplay with who are up for that, but no one has money. Lmao. Me, I don't have money.
One Day Until:
I would make sure someone can take care of my mom. I would keep doing this until it was done, even if it took up all the time left (and it would), and I couldn't do anything else. Then would tell everyone I love them too. I would pray for forgiveness for all of my sins, and then I would maybe call someone that I enjoy talking to most, or go outside and spend the time in the woods. I would make sure as hell that everyone remembers that I want to be creamated. And I would probably write everyone letters. While listening to music like Paul Simon or Carole King, soothing music to me.
As an introverted type, I personally find small talk to be an important part of getting to know someone. A small connection needs to be established before one starts to dive into the heavy burdens they have to shoulder other people with. I don't really understand the dislike people have for this practice, it's like a buffer that shields you from all kinds of things ranging from emotional burnout to the very discomfort that might trigger the dreaded awkward silence. Small talk is meaningful and an important part of social interaction even for those of us who like philosophy or what have you. It helps you assess what kind of conversations you can have with the person you're speaking to in the future as well, so sets up a safe way to engage in "deeper" subject matter later on. Socializing is cumulative!
On emotions, I'd say they aren't petty at all, and are central to our expressive experience of life.
That said, here on the internet, communication is a bit different. You have the buffer of physical distance, and the luxury of tailoring your words, so I'm perfectly happy to leap into heavy subjects at my leisure. In fact I'm doing so as I down my first cup of coffee for the day.
What do I want to do before I die? Damn well I'd at least like to finish writing my books. I also have the aspiration of becoming a very skilled individual. Sometimes I feel like my internal "hobby shelf" is so cluttered that I'll never master anything, so either I have to become a cyborg ASAP so I can live long enough to master everything, or I'll have to become more focused. I keep a document on my computer that lists every single subject I want to know more about, and I schedule days when I'll study that subject. Of course, obligations to work, family and university often stymie my ability to fully immerse in this schedule, but it's the price of existing within this society with comforts like internet and central heating.
If I found out I was going to die tomorrow? I'd set up an appointment to be cryogenically preserved and request to be put first on the list for receiving cybernetic implants when they become possible. Though in all reality I'd probably just have an anxious meltdown and not get anything done at all before the big moment.
On emotions, I'd say they aren't petty at all, and are central to our expressive experience of life.
That said, here on the internet, communication is a bit different. You have the buffer of physical distance, and the luxury of tailoring your words, so I'm perfectly happy to leap into heavy subjects at my leisure. In fact I'm doing so as I down my first cup of coffee for the day.
What do I want to do before I die? Damn well I'd at least like to finish writing my books. I also have the aspiration of becoming a very skilled individual. Sometimes I feel like my internal "hobby shelf" is so cluttered that I'll never master anything, so either I have to become a cyborg ASAP so I can live long enough to master everything, or I'll have to become more focused. I keep a document on my computer that lists every single subject I want to know more about, and I schedule days when I'll study that subject. Of course, obligations to work, family and university often stymie my ability to fully immerse in this schedule, but it's the price of existing within this society with comforts like internet and central heating.
If I found out I was going to die tomorrow? I'd set up an appointment to be cryogenically preserved and request to be put first on the list for receiving cybernetic implants when they become possible. Though in all reality I'd probably just have an anxious meltdown and not get anything done at all before the big moment.
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