So.
I've taken the time to construct a page for Xorath Moonborn, and I think I've done a fairly good job thus far. Rather than ask the fine folk in the OOC room at the Golden Tether, however, I'd prefer to get feedback from the lovely community here. What have I done well on, what could be improved, and how I might improve it? His site is large, I know. I would prefer it to stay that way, as it's for my reference just as much as it is to snag a potential partner.
I'm not looking to overhaul my character, of course. I would simply appreciate advice on how to present it better. In the future, I'll need help with making sure that he's a balanced character. I have trouble thinking up hindrances that balance things out properly.
There's a lot of info to take a look at, so I'm not sure how many responses I'll get. Thank you in advance to those that have the time to throw an opinion or some advice my way.
Edit: I'm never going to get my cinnamon rolls. ;-;
I've taken the time to construct a page for Xorath Moonborn, and I think I've done a fairly good job thus far. Rather than ask the fine folk in the OOC room at the Golden Tether, however, I'd prefer to get feedback from the lovely community here. What have I done well on, what could be improved, and how I might improve it? His site is large, I know. I would prefer it to stay that way, as it's for my reference just as much as it is to snag a potential partner.
I'm not looking to overhaul my character, of course. I would simply appreciate advice on how to present it better. In the future, I'll need help with making sure that he's a balanced character. I have trouble thinking up hindrances that balance things out properly.
There's a lot of info to take a look at, so I'm not sure how many responses I'll get. Thank you in advance to those that have the time to throw an opinion or some advice my way.
Edit: I'm never going to get my cinnamon rolls. ;-;
One word. AMAZING. Your character's profile is extremely detailed, explaining the things I never heard of down to the millimeter. You also labeled that you were still working on something when you were, which puts readers in suspense about things to come. In my opinion, the Assets/Hindrances are balanced well. I only have one suggestion to make this better. Under the age section, you put things such as "appears experienced." This should go under a miscellaneous section under physical features, in my opinion. Otherwise, it couldn't be better. If I were a teacher, I would give you an A*. Pure Amazingness.
Edit:
Digital cinnamon roll. You earned it.
Edit:
Digital cinnamon roll. You earned it.
I would prefer it to stay that way, as it's for my reference just as much as it is to snag a potential partner.
~aha
~aha
PikaPika11 wrote:
Under the age section, you put things such as "appears experienced." This should go under a miscellaneous section under physical features, in my opinion.
Good point. Done! Now his stats are even more pretty. Thank you for the feedback!
The assets and hindrances are far from complete. I have a rough idea of what I need to do, and trust me, they're a bit unbalanced. I should have waited until that page was complete to make this thread, but I couldn't.
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