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Forums » Smalltalk » AMA: Living with ASPD

Prince_Jin

Hello! I'm on the ASPD spectrum and diagnosed with other disorders - but I find that this one, in particular, is the most misunderstood from my experience. From the stereotypes of being "emotionless manipulators" to being demonized in media, I've heard a lot of outsider perspectives on this. Thanks to therapy, I'm really open to talking about myself and what it's like to live with how I am. I used to deal with a lot of self-hatred and went through a bad point in my life where I convinced myself to act as the "bad guy" everyone seemed to perceive me as. I've thankfully crawled out of that hole and have been actively working on making friends, running communities, and getting my life together.

Feel free to ask me any questions concerning what it's like to have ASPD that you may have been afraid to ask anyone else you could have known with it! Since it's a spectrum, please don't take my experiences as universal. This is just the level of it that I personally live with.
Auberon Moderator

Hey there! By ASPD, do you mean Antisocial Personality Disorder?

How has ASPD affected your relationships with others? Have you been able to find a strong support network through your work in therapy?
Prince_Jin Topic Starter

Auberon wrote:
Hey there! By ASPD, do you mean Antisocial Personality Disorder?

How has ASPD affected your relationships with others? Have you been able to find a strong support network through your work in therapy?

I do!

I find that when it comes to my actual relationships, I've been lucky enough to find people who are really patient with me. <3 I had a really volatile phase and struggle to understand some moral and social concepts, but I'm comfortable enough with my friends to just ask them to clarify things to me -- and they do quite well. Though I'm completely incapable of befriending more sensitive people because our personalities completely clash and my bluntness is taken for cruelty. And I did find a therapist I vibe well with, but she got promoted and now I'm between therapists because of COVID and moving.
I could gush over you for days.

The reason I won't ask questions is while I know you won't think I'm being mean, others might. I feel anyone who really knows ASPD may already have the stigmas trapped in their mind, and anyone that does not I could come across as being mean rather than curious.

I would like to thank you though for taking the step to share this with others, because with the one question that was asked and your information on it, if one other person is struggling like you did, it could make them feel better and know they aren't the awful person they are portrayed to be.
Prince_Jin Topic Starter

lxveisabadword wrote:
I could gush over you for days.

The reason I won't ask questions is while I know you won't think I'm being mean, others might. I feel anyone who really knows ASPD may already have the stigmas trapped in their mind, and anyone that does not I could come across as being mean rather than curious.

I would like to thank you though for taking the step to share this with others, because with the one question that was asked and your information on it, if one other person is struggling like you did, it could make them feel better and know they aren't the awful person they are portrayed to be.

Awh, you're really sweet! Thank you for your response <3 I'm glad to know I might be able to help someone who was struggling like I have! After dealing with an intense self-hate cycle where you start acting like a bad person because you feel like everyone expects you to be, it really does help to have a few kind people and patience to break through it.

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