This is super hard to talk about. I get this feeling of dread just typing this. I've already talked to my sister about it because it's relevant for the two of us, but I figured maybe people out there with experience on the subject can offer some advice as well, I'm sure I can't be the only one.
How do you confront someone, say, a family member you care about, whose mental health is deteriorating, but also lives in denial about it? Who refuse to ask for help, or even acknowledge they're sick?
How do you confront someone, say, a family member you care about, whose mental health is deteriorating, but also lives in denial about it? Who refuse to ask for help, or even acknowledge they're sick?
I'm sorry you're going through this! It's definitely an emotional and difficult situation to deal with.
Ask them to listen to you, and tell them how you feel. Stick to their actual actions and describe them (don't talk about their assumed intentions or feelings since you don't know those for sure, so only stick to the events and actions as they happened), then tell them how that made you feel.
Do that for a number of things and then give them the opportunity to react. Then share with them that you'd rather feel differently, and that you're worried that if you feel this way, they might feel worse than you for having to deal with these situations as well. Tell them you care and that you want the negative feelings to be addressed and dealt with in a healthy way for them and you everyone else. Extend your offer to help them find help, and ask them to let you know when they're ready.
If you make demands it will make it harder, you can't force someone to work on their mental health when they don't want to. If you show them how their actions affect you, you share your worries for their health and offer them support to get help, you give them the option to choose after reflecting on the situation. Normalizing that everyone needs help every now and then, and that doing so is not a weakness, may also help if denial is rooted in this.
If they choose not to get help, you may want to ask others to try this as well, so that the scope of the effect is more visible. If they're in denial it becomes more difficult to deny if they keep getting confronted by the consequences.
Keep in mind that this may take some time. It's hard to admit you have struggles sometimes, and it takes people time to change their mind about something. Setting a good example and giving someone space go a long way in this.
Ask them to listen to you, and tell them how you feel. Stick to their actual actions and describe them (don't talk about their assumed intentions or feelings since you don't know those for sure, so only stick to the events and actions as they happened), then tell them how that made you feel.
Do that for a number of things and then give them the opportunity to react. Then share with them that you'd rather feel differently, and that you're worried that if you feel this way, they might feel worse than you for having to deal with these situations as well. Tell them you care and that you want the negative feelings to be addressed and dealt with in a healthy way for them and you everyone else. Extend your offer to help them find help, and ask them to let you know when they're ready.
If you make demands it will make it harder, you can't force someone to work on their mental health when they don't want to. If you show them how their actions affect you, you share your worries for their health and offer them support to get help, you give them the option to choose after reflecting on the situation. Normalizing that everyone needs help every now and then, and that doing so is not a weakness, may also help if denial is rooted in this.
If they choose not to get help, you may want to ask others to try this as well, so that the scope of the effect is more visible. If they're in denial it becomes more difficult to deny if they keep getting confronted by the consequences.
Keep in mind that this may take some time. It's hard to admit you have struggles sometimes, and it takes people time to change their mind about something. Setting a good example and giving someone space go a long way in this.
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