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1. "Mrrr!" [My name's Jeff!]

2. "Mrrrrm" [Jeffrey the First of His Name of the Former Staten Island]

3. "Mrrraaarrrr" [Not that I'm aware of]

4. "Mrrf" [I'm a Land Shark]

5. "Mrrr…" [dunno]

6. "Mrrrmrrrm" [shrugs]

7. "MRRrrrrrrrRRR!"

8. "Mrrr" [wholesome]

9. "Mrrrem" [usually]

10. "Yeah!"

11. "Mrrrm…" [Dunno]

12. "Woot-woot!" [emphatic yes]

13. "GRRRRRRR!" [MODOK]

14. "Mrrrr, mrrrrm mrraaarrrrm. Mrrr!" [Many, like Gwenpool, Kate Bishop, Wade, Elsa. You get the idea!]

15. "Mrrrr…" [Mostly…]

16. "Mrrr?" [Do Venom symbiotes count?]

17. "Mrrr?" [confused]

18. "MRRRRAAAAARRRR!"

19. "Mrrm" [No need to improve on perfection]

20. "Mrrrf"

21. "Mrrr?"

22. "Nrrm-mmm" [Not to my knowledge]

23. "Mrrrrm" [Mascot of the West Coast Avengers]

24. "Mrrrr!" [proud affirmative]

25. "Mrrrf" [dismissive]

26. "Mrrr!" [negative]

27. "Mrrrraaaaaarrr"

28. "MRRR MRRR MRRR!" [At this point Jeff panicked and hid under a table for 15 minutes]

29. "Mrrr" [Too many to list]

30. "Mrrr" [cream soda]

31. "Mrrrr!" [Being part of Wade's kingdom]

32. "Mrrm" [Not telling]

33. "Mrrr" [You don't need to know]

34. "Uh-huh!"

35. "Mrrr?" [Is that what Wade does when he talks to nothing?]

36. "Mrrr?" [confused]

37. "Mrrr" [seems the same]

38. "Mrrr?" [bewilderment]

39. "Mrrrm" [not entirely sure what the point of that was]

40. "Yeah!"

41. "Mrrr" [find out if Frozen Pudding Pops are still available in 12-packs]

42. "Nrrm" [no]

43. "Mrrr!" [Free churros for everyone!]

44. "Mrrrf!" [Epic]

45. "Yeah!"

46. "Mrrrr!"

47. "Mrrm" [indifferent]

48. "Mrrrr…" [Jeff holds up a crude drawing of himself and Gwenpool]

49. "Mrrrm?" [Like food?]

50. "MRRR, mrrrr mrraaaaarrr? Mrrrrrm" [Good, but that's it? Weird thing to end on]

Part I: Let's Start at the Beginning...

1. What's your name?
"Paris Blight, or Lady Malady. I thought those were fun titles."

2. Give me your full name...
"Full name? No."

3. Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?
"Oh, I suppose my nickname is Lady Malady. It comes from the fact I'm a lady, and I'm simply so sweet it's sickly. Nothing malevolent, of course."

4. What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)
"I'm a normal human, isn't it obvious? Why would you ask such a superfluous question!"
"if it's just between you and me, though.. I'm plague itself."

5. Where/when were you born?
"Great question. I don't remember. I was a baby, after all!"

6. I see. And that would make your age...?
"Don't you know it's impolite to ask a lady her age?!"

7. Okay, now...are you a good guy, or a bad guy?
"Pfft, ridiculous question. I'm good, of course. Indubitably so."

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself...

8. How would you describe your personality?
"I am kind and gentle. Many have described me as motherly, but I cannot bear children.." She brought a tissue to the eye of her plague mask, as if drying a tear.

9. Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?
"Pressure? Pfft, what a silly question. Of course I can handle pressure."

10. Do you like to read?
"What upstanding lady wouldn't enjoy reading? I love to read."

11. Favorite color?
"Guess." She gestured towards her pink outfit.

12. Do you get along with others?
"You'd be hard-pressed to find a person who dislikes me. I get along great with everyone."

13. Do you have any enemies?
"Yes, but I shan't name them here."

14. How about friends?
"Oh, yes, many friends. I'm quite popular."

15. Are you patient?
She chuckled lightly, "You don't even know.."

Part III: Hypothetically...

16. Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?
"Hm. Flying sounds fun. A bird, then, I suppose. A rosy finch."

17. One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?
"Oh? A compliment is a compliment. I'd be flattered."

18. One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?
"They would no longer be my friend."

19. If you could change anything about yourself...
"What a bizarre question. No. Never."

20. About your home...
"I would like to add an insectarium to my home.."

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

21. What're your parents like?
"Huh?"

22. Do you have any siblings?
"I have no family."

23. What's your occupation?
"Um? I'm a doctor, of course."

24. I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?
"Yes, It's my life's calling."

25. Are you seeing/dating anyone?
"No. I've yet to find a man to be a suitable husband."

26. Thinking about getting engaged, married, other?
"No."

27. Tell us your biggest secret.
"I can't remove my mask because my beauty is just too alluring.. Men can't stay away."

28. Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.
"Fear? Hah. Imagine."

29. Favorite food?
"I rather enjoy pork."

30. Favorite drink?
"Red wine."

31. Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.
"Hmm. I'm proud of my taste in fashion, I suppose. This dress is vintage, by the way. I've kept it in mint condition."

32. Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.
"Embarrassed? I don't feel that way about anything."

33. If you didn't answer Questions 28 and/or 32, tell me why.
"I'm not a fearful person."

34. Is that a good reason?
"Yes."

Part V: Breaking the Fourth Wall
For these next few questions, I'll briefly remove the fourth wall between your world and your creator's. Try to remain calm.

35. Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?
"Oh, wait, this is all fake?"

36. Now the fourth wall's gone. Response?
"Intruiging. So, I don't have to pretend to be, er, human, yes?"

37. This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?
"Not much different from my own. Reckon it'd be easier to spread plague here- I mean, uh, what?"

38. You just met your creator! First impression of them?
"This girl made me? Hm. Not what I anticipated..."

39. Okay, let's put the fourth wall back. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?
"It wasn't bad.. Moreso just.. underwhelming?"

Part VI: Closing

40. Are you satisfied with your life?
"Never. I can always achieve more"

41. Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.
"I have to spread disease."

42. Any hobbies?
"Spreading plague. And taking care of my beautiful pet leech."

43. Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me...
"I wished that this interview would be over. You are growing to be quite irritating."

44. How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?
"I think my wish is entirely reasonable."

45. Have you been honest with these questions?
A giggle emerged from the mask, "What do you think?"

46. Your personal quote?
"You fear death too much."

47. Do you like change?
"mmm... Yes and no."

48. What's your most valued possession?
"My dear leech, Abigail."

49. Anything else you feel like sharing?
"Please just get this over with. You took well longer than a few minutes."

50. Last question!...yup, that's it! How do you feel?
"Fine."

1. What's your name?
"We're starting simple, hm? Behold, I am the great and magnificent Ace of Spades~!"

2. Give me your full name...
"Sweetheart, I've already told you.”

3. Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?
"Ah, nicknames. Not titles, yes? I collect plenty of them~! Though most notably Ace. Then Spade- spades are good for planting things, no? Or digging graves. Depends on who's holding the shovel, haha~ Another includes Maripos, Papillon, Lepidoptera... a lot of butterfly-themed names. I adore them, yes, but it makes me sound inhuman after a while. And then there's 'Misfortune', which I absolutely hate! My friend said it once, because I like to say 'fortune' a lot, and he'd call me 'Miss Fortune' then, which sounded exactly like 'misfortune'... Apparently he's entertained by my reaction because he never stopped referring me as such. I think it's karma biting me back... Don't laugh!"

4. What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)
"What a good question~! An Avatar of a Pillar, that much is clear. I look human? Well, I was one. Much like my peer, the Jester. And He Who Sees. Difference is that I maintained most of my appearance like such for my convenience and yours~ Can't have you lovelies fear me for my appearance now, can I?"

5. Where/when were you born?
"Oh, wouldn't you like to know? Well, to be more specific, you could say I was born on earth. The exact date? 1st of August."

6. I see. And that would make your age...?
"Isn't that quite rude? Hmph! Time is weird back in the Inbetween, and who knows at this point?"

7. Okay, now...are you a good guy, or a bad guy?
"An adorable question. Define 'good', define 'bad', define 'guy' while we're at it. Good people wouldn't cross a lot of moral lines and almost went insane just to get their ‘happy ending’, and bad people wouldn't care about stopping a horrible, doom event. I'm the hero of my own story and possibly the villain in everyone else's. Isn't that more interesting?"

8. How would you describe your personality?
"Who am I if not a charming and theatrical lady~? I wouldn't say I'm an attention-seeker, but I live for the spotlight!"

9. Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?
"Ah, pressure and I are old roommates. After all, I function best when everything's on fire. Improvisations are my thing, after all~!"

10. Do you like to read?
"Depends on what kind. Theatre play scripts? Classic literature? Oh, most definitely!"

11. Favorite color?
"'Favorite color?'?” She gestured to herself. “What do you think?”

12. Do you get along with others?
"Why, of course! I get along splendidly with everyone! I'm charming, I aim to please and entertain, I know how to read the room, and I know how to give people what they want to see~!"

13. Do you have any enemies?
"Who doesn't have enemies, hm? I try not to wrong anyone, but I suppose some want me gone. A few for a good reason too, but they're just haters~"

14. How about friends?
"Obviously yes! I collect friends and hoard them! There's Claudius, Obscura, Kei, Nunca, Philia, Celeste, Blanche, Icarus, Gudang... Then there's Shani, Gary, Solaris, Y'liad, Volyx! Nowadays, after the whole- thing... there's this Avian birb lady~! Pleasant fellow, a bit prickly, but she's quite a good friend."

15. Are you patient?
"Pfft, I'm the epitome of patient. When you're stuck in that forsaken place, you'll find that you'll become the most patient person alive. Especially when you're constantly looking for a way out."

16. Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?
"Ah! Hmm... so many options to choose from... A phoenix. They're such wonderful creatures. They die, reduced to ash, comes back anyway. Just birds on fire flying free, wouldn't that be nice? And there's something comforting about knowing ruin isn't permanent. If we're going for something practical? I'd say a butterfly, or a fluffy little cat~! Maybe the latter; you can come and go as you please, no one expects you to do anything, you can bite and hiss and scratch and people will still like you, you can laze around and do nothing all day, and they're quite lovable creatures~!"

17. One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?
"Hmph! As they should! Good to know they have excellent taste and eyes that can see with a brain that can think!

18. One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?
"I- well! No one's perfect, right? Perhaps I've done something wrong, something they don't like. But that doesn't mean they hate me, do they? They wouldn't leave, would they? No matter! I will self-reflect on this and fix it up as quickly as I could!"

19. If you could change anything about yourself...
"Anything? Ohoho... now we're talking! I'd say a lot, but I'll list only a few. First thing's first- I want to be human again and not be some vessel of a higher being, and add some inches to my height. But keep my abilities too! They're cool, they can stay. Though I'd prefer I wouldn't have to consume a part of someone in order to shapeshift, so change that too. Oh! And make me taller. Another thing is delete my ties with that doom prophecy while we're at it- actually, that's the most important one. Also, make me taller!"

20. About your home...
"Mm, which one? If we're talking about Earth, well, Earth's boring. No magic, no adventures, no magical places. But I suppose it has its own charms. The Inbetween, on the other hand? Just the kind of place I like. All my buddies are there. I had a pretty fun life, if you take out that whole 'thing'. If only I can somehow come back.."

21. What're your parents like?
"Woah there. Getting all personal, are we? All I can say is that I'm half-cursed on my mother's side and half-doomed on my father's side. Funny how certain things somehow run in the family."

22. Do you have any siblings?
"Hm... a twin brother."

23. What's your occupation?
"I once served as the Court's entertainer and architect, if you could count that~!"

24. I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?
"Stageplays and entertainment are my thing, darling~! Performances are, of course, what I do best. Architectural design too, I suppose. But I don't do much of it. I kind of miss it. Moving on!"

25. Are you seeing/dating anyone?
"...No. Thirsty for gossip, are you?"

26. Thinking about getting engaged, married, other?
"Hmh… I suppose settling down does sound nice, but I don't think I should."

27. Tell us your biggest secret.
"My, aren't you a curious one? Curiosity killed the cat, you know~?"

28. Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.
"...To quote Hamlet, act III, scene III, line 87 ‘no’. Next question!"

29. Favorite food?
"Anything grilled. Preferably anything meat; grilled ribs, grilled chicken. Charred, smoked, crispy edges… Yum."

30. Favorite drink?
"Almond water. Almond water is life."

31. Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.
"My performances, of course~! I can act and fully embrace whatever role I wish to be. A meek student? A stoic knight? A crazed lunatic? mn arrogant king? Condescending noble? I can be anything~!”

32. Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.
"Ah, well- I'd prefer to not ruin my image. Next question~"

33. If you didn't answer Questions 28 and/or 32, tell me why.
"For question twenty-eight; I simply don't want to! And for question thirty-two; I'd rather not embarrass myself."

34. Is that a good reason?
"Of course they are! You're the ones asking such personal questions; I have the right to not answer them!"

For these next few questions, I'll briefly remove the fourth wall between your world and your creator's. Try to remain calm.

35. Before I remove the fourth wall, tell me: would you be willing to accept the fact that you're actually a character?
"I-... What? No, no… that can't be right. I mean- sure, I've spent most of my life in a place outside of reality, I know alternate universes exist- Heck, I've an alternate version of me! I've seen soooo many things, but-... There's… more…? Hypothetically, I've even broken the fourth wall plenty of times, but that wasn't serious! No. No, no. That can not be right. I refuse to believe that, there is no way. I can think for myself, I made bad choices, I suffer consequences, I can feel! And you're telling me all that was… a lie? That I'm fake...?"

36. Now the fourth wall's gone. Response?
"...Not as dramatic as I thought it would be, but… I can't... Alright, deep breaths, fake breaths, in and out, and I'm calm~..."

37. This is your creator's world. What's the first thing you notice?
"Normal, boring earth. It's no different to my home world. Lots of purple pastels in the room, and-... or those drawings of me?"

38. You just met your creator! First impression of them?
"She could've made me a better life. She could've made me have an easier life. She could've given me a happy ending. You mean to tell me that this socially awkward girl is the one who put me through all that [■■■■]? Was I just a toy for her? That's not fair. That's sick. That's… No, calm down, repressing all this in a bit, and… yup. Cool. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. She gave me issues and cosmic consequences and for what? Because it was narratively compelling-?! I- Well, to be fair, I wrote tragic stories and plays like she does… but that's not the point!" A beat. "No. No more emotional outburst to my own creator. I'm… fine. Hmph. I wonder how she even manages to write me, I imagine she dies inside every time she does so. Such an opposite of my personality."

39. Okay, let's put the fourth wall back. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?
"... ‘That wasn't so bad’...? ’That wasn't so bad’?! I went through existential dread! I went through existential crisis and all stages of grief back there! And you tell me that it ‘wasn't so bad’?! Never put me through that again. I will now think that never happened and that I was hallucinating. Ahem. Fourth wall restored, reality stable, Ace of Spades remains dazzling and unbothered~..."

40. Are you satisfied with your life?
"Satisfied? Pfft. Satisfaction is for people who are done. I am not done with my life yet."

41. Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.
"Hmhm~... I suppose I'd want to return home, somehow. And I need to decide who I am without someone whispering directions in my ear; which I'm halfway there!"

42. Any hobbies?
"Plenty~! I do a lot of things, you know? I collect trinkets and items for keepsakes, urban exploring, practicing plays. I like designing stage sets with my abilities, helps me keep up with my creativity. And I people-watch. It's totally normal behavior, of course~"

43. Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me...
"One wish-? Ah! Hm… I wish that everything would go back to the way it used to. Simple, eh?"

44. How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?
"Entirely selfish. But aren't we all allowed to be?"

45. Have you been honest with these questions?
"Hmm, maybe, maybe not. Who knows~?"

46. Your personal quote?
"Hm... I suppose I'll be wise just this once and share one with you lovelies; If you're waiting to feel ready before you act… you'll wait forever. Sometimes all you gotta do is step onto the stage and perform anyway~!"

47. Do you like change?
"Change? Pfft. Change keeps you on your toes. How else would you advance through your story without change? It doesn't matter if you like it or not; in the end, the show must go on."

48. What's your most valued possession?
"My hat, of course... Pfft, like I would actually tell~"

49. Anything else you feel like sharing?
"None. The show is about to end, yes?"

50. Last question!...yup, that's it! How do you feel?
"Well, that had been a rollercoaster ride! Never doing that again, haha~" With that, she bowed. "And thus concludes tonight’s performance~ Ace of Spades takes her leave~!”