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“Well, I can forgive you, for now, but the people behind that door, it won’t be as easy as giving up limbs, especially Ike, he’s been through more in a day than I did a year.” He sombrely replied. He honestly felt bad for Ike, being shot twice on his first day, he respected him for how he handled himself, somehow staying concious during the whole ordeal, “we’ll just have to find out.” Robert sighed, stretching his shoulders.

Okay, maybe she regretted her harshness just a little. Really, to what extent was she willing to be a total @#$% in order to keep people at arm’s length? Too, she supposed she was past the ‘arm’s length’ point, whether she liked it or not. He had forced his way through the inevitable cracks in her wall, just like that annoying, red-earth eyed blonde had. Bastard. Idiots like them could never seem to understand that these things invariably ended badly.

But Riles Miles was an idiot too.

She sure as @#$% didn’t want to go making the guy cry. Regardless of being already teary-eyed to begin with. The worst part was that she wasn’t even actually angry at him. At all. A little frustrated perhaps, but not angry.

”Don’do’at.” She said gruffly, yet vaguely as though trying to sound gentle without knowing how (Or maybe that was just wishful thinking). Without moving her arms, she used the hand that was close enough to brush the side of her palm a little too roughly across his cheekbone, helping clear up the mess a little. She made sure to keep her eyes lowered, of course.
And a moment later, something came into Riley’s field of vision. Feeling the instinctual need to look at it while also determined not to look at him for the time being, nor to expose her still beet-red face any more than she absolutely had to, the girl ended up crossing her eyes a little, blinking, as the finger hesitated there in the air.

Boop

Instantly, Riley batted his hand away, turning her head and snapping ”Oh @#$%off!” - but the inevitably gut-sinking fear that he had just undone all his progress would not last long, given that the girl was openly laughing and grinning widely, looking away and rubbing at her eyes with a wrist despite there being only a faint glimmer in them, just in case. She looked at the wall, then at the floor, then back to Ike. ”Mother@#$%er.” She snapped resentfully, but the grin that she couldn’t force off her face, and the occasional, residual giggle meant that keeping the laughter and soft, rounded edges out of her accusation was thoroughly impossible.

That bastard.

Her feet shuffled nervously, this was the first time she'd spent any length of time without her arms and the idea of being totally surrounded by a large number, or at least large compared to what she was used to, of people who were quite ready or willing to get some sort of revenge on her was getting to the young warrior. However, when he said that he forgave her, the hard, suspicious gaze that she cast towards him widened, just temporarily in shock.

What was wrong with this crew? Had spending so long stuck floating in the vast expanse of space really messed with their heads that badly? Kato she understood, after everything he'd told her, he'd shown her, she got why he was so loopy, but the others? What on Sol had they done? Or did living that long near Kato just do that to you?

"I'm sure the rest of the crew will be fine with you living here aboard with us, while we're at it, later on, I'll go pay for your civilian replacements, they'll be much weaker to the arms you're used to, but I'm sure you'll manage."

Annag glanced up at Kato as he spoke, feeling his hand once more on her hair, ruffling it gently before slowly pushing her forwards. "What if they -?" She faltered, not really willing to go forward, she wanted to face it all later, to avoid the judgment of those she'd hurt.

---

"H-hey! What ar-" It was Ike's turn for his face to turn a shade of red to match his companions hair, the feel of her palm brushing in a rough, but not unkind way against his cheek. Wiping away some of the dirt and other muck that had collected there. The sudden action taking his other hand away for around her to rub his cheek in a half embarrassed, half amazed way. That was certainly not the action he'd expected.

What it did mean however is that when out of nowhere a hand swatted his away he tumbled backwards, slipping off his feet and down to the floor. For a second he didn't even dare move, there was nothing stopping him doing so or any fear of being injured as a result of something, more the tearing agony that his action, the action that to him means warmth and comfort had broken whatever link they'd had. That she'd taken it and gotten angry with him.

Why did he have to go screw things up like this?

In that split second, to the Synth lying there with his eyes tightly screwed shut he heard possibly the only noise that could have gotten him out of his shell in that moment. A laugh. Was she laughing? He snapped upright, almost unwilling to believe it, not until he saw it with his own eyes. Yet there she was giggling away.

It seemed, whether intentional or not, the laugh was of the incredibly infectious type for soon the Synth was giggling away of his own, not the relived mixture of sobbing and laughter of before, but a true happy giggle. He'd found someone on this ship, after all of that, being shot twice who could be his friend. He couldn't stop himself from replying to her soft accusation with a friendly reply of his own, it was almost compulsive. "That's a bit hard for me ya know. I was made, not born."

"Hey Riles -" He'd speak suddenly, his gaze turning to the solitary but still vast thick plate window set firmly into the wall and also hull of the ship. "What do you think is out there? In space I mean? Don't you think it'd be nice to explore it someday? Just see the sights of the galaxy?" It was contemplative his voice, but also strange, like his was sharing a personal thought he'd never voiced before, a dream that until now had been buried away in some forgotten part of his mind. "Maybe - we could someday..."

He saw her reaction, and it puzzled him,”why is she so shocked about me forgiving her? She never shot me, and all she did was punch me back, it’s not much, or at least to me.”He pondered. He then said “again, we’ll just have to wait and see if she...integrates into the crew, I just hope you’re right about her and she did turn over a new leaf.”

It was such a little thing. Just one letter. In retrospect it was amazing that nobody else had thought to use it in the nearly two years since the intervention. But then, there hadn’t been all that many opportunities. It was an affectionate sort of nickname. Or, at least, that was how she perceived it - and simply put, generally nobody had any desire at all to be ‘affectionate’ in even the general direction of the obnoxious brat. Not without good reason, at that. And it wasn’t the sort of thing anyone could use against her, unless they knew that nobody, nobody was allowed to call her that. The issue never came up. She had nearly forgotten about it entirely.
It had been lifetimes ago. Indeed, a different life entirely. And to hear it again now, in the first moment that she had been truly content, even happy in as long as she could remember - it hit her like a tidal wave.

She seemed not to have even heard Ike’s musing query. He gazed at the panel of blackness upon the wall - that which might have looked just like another opaque section of wall if one didn’t know any better - and wondered at the great beyond, like humans had been doing in one form or another since coming out of the trees. And as he looked out at nothingness, she looked at him - wide-eyed, almost vaguely frightened - baffled, gaping. It was, somehow, a needful stare. Something confusing and disquieting, but still somehow positive. There was a confused, but almost reverent quality to that needful gaze.

Riley was silent long enough that Ike would naturally want to glance back to her - and when he did, he might have caught just the briefest instant of that strange, gaping look before she snapped out of it and returned to the present. ”Ye’whatnow?” She asked, blinking as though having just been caught ‘spacing out’. Hastily she went over what she had dully perceived over the previous several seconds, then snapped her eyes to the window. ”Out there?” She asked, a tad confused as to why he was wondering about it at all - quickly recovering from her little zone-out moment.

”’ere’s jus’a bunch’a rocks ou’ere, I figure.” She said, with a note of indifference. ”I mean, I guess’ might be fun’a check out th’ol’ ships an’ wha’ev. See ‘ow’day stack up ‘gainst’a Las’ Light.” Figures, the only thing beyond The Ring that Riley would really care about was old tech. ”But every’ns ou’ere’s deadlike ain’it? Ever’fns ‘at matters down’ere’like.” She nodded vaguely toward the surface of Ringworld.

It was difficult for her - as for most folks - to comprehend a universe any larger than the Ringworld upon which all that remained of human civilization existed. Fifty billion people was a lot, after all. The world was big enough that most people wouldn’t be able to see the whole thing in one lifetime, unless they dedicated their life to just that. A trip from one end to the other seemed generally like a truly epic journey, for these people who had grown up in a universe which to them would naturally seem quite large, since they had nothing to compare it to.

Though while she didn’t exactly seem to share Ike’s curiosity or wanderlust, she at least didn’t seem to be judging him for it. Or, rather, she seemed to be, but he was probably privy enough to catch that it was just the way she talked. At that, anyone else who voiced such an opinion would have gotten something more along the lines of ”Whatchu’talkin’bout? That’s stupid.”

Riley shrugged. ”I mean..I guess?”

Kato shrugged lightly, it wasn't a large movement, but it was enough to convey what he wanted it to. "It's her choice to change the beliefs she's lived by, but I do believe she's on our side now." The large being, more machine than human looked down at the girl sadly, he was going to have to keep her close to him, it wasn't that he didn't trust her the way the rest of the crew did. He wanted dearly to believe her story, the way she'd seen and believed his, yet hers didn't have the same evidence, the holofeeds. He was going to watch her and while he did, see what she made of her new life aboard the Last Light.

Beside him, the teen stumbled forward, almost losing her balance and being sent tumbling forwards, not possessing any way to slow herself down. She felt almost naked in a sense, she knew she wasn't, that her faded green tank-top still covered her chest, but the two stumps on her arms, the sudden lack of touch, the feeling that her body was missing something. None of it felt real in a way, yet when she instinctively moved to raise her arms protectively in front of her face as she fell, nothing responded.

A pair of study hands grabbed her, steadying her. Kato's hands. Lifting her upright and onto steady feet. Metalic hands that seconds later pressed a button to open the door between the two room, a portal towards the unknown and judging eyes.

She stepped gingerly through.

---

At first, Ike didn't turn around, simply content to sit there, one hand pressed up against the window who's solid view of nothing only broke from the wall around it in the way that it was just infinite nothingness. At least the walls that surrounded the rest of the room had texture to them, some sign that people lived there, a semblance of life. Out there was nothing, just empty space, devoid of all light and life, stretching on indefinitely. Yet to the youthful Synth, that didn't matter, he could sit there and imagine fleets soaring by, creatures of all shapes and sizes dumping up alongside the ship and showing their marvels to the crew.

He was just imagining a particularly small creature, glowing a shade of neon purple zipping by the window, when the thought struck him, he hadn't been hearing Riley say or do anything for a while. In confusion he stayed pressed up against the window for a few more seconds, checking just in case his audio receptors had been failing to pick anything up, wondering if the whole ordeal hadn't screwed with them in some way. Just as he was begining to think they had he whipped his head around to check on her and caught the tiniest hint of the look that had snuck its way over her face.

It was a look he decided to store away to ask about at a later time or date. There had been a few emotions in there he hadn't fully grasped in the small time that he had gotten to view it, he'd sensed it wasn't altogether a negative one, filled with a lot of emotions, but beyond that, he'd utterly failed to pick up on the rest of it. Was it something he'd said? The whole thing he concluded was worth checking out if there was anything he could do to help her, he was determined to try it out, however, at this moment, he felt it more prudent to just allow the happy emotions flow.

"Out there!" He looked at her, back at the glass, before returning his gaze to her. "What's to say that there aren't creatures lurking in the depths of space? Life existing or even thriving on planets hurtling through space!" He paused as a thought struck him, another flight of fancy that he was prone to enduring during conversations, although now he didn't seek to repress it as it came into his head. "Maybe there are even other humans out there! Perhaps on worlds like ours!"

Maybe it was because he'd been made at the age he was and was simply programmed to imagine a world beyond the one they lived on or the ability to at any point he wished to download any and all knowledge about the Ringworld he wanted to that fascinated him with space. He didn't, if only because that would make what exploration he could do deadly dull, but out there. Very few records remained of the galaxy beyond the ring they lived on, most of which lived on in whispers or rumors. He just wanted to see it for himself.

He'd just turned back to give the window one last gaze before standing up, intent on returning back to sit closer to Riley when a sliver of movement caught his eye, partially reflected in the window. He'd caught the faintest traces of extra light being shed into the room and turned around in surprise. When he saw what was standing there, it was like a stampede of emotions was all charging forwards to be the first to express themselves. Fear, surprise, disbelief, confusion.

Involuntary he took a step backwards and almost flattened himself up against the window. "Uh- Riles -" He stammered before motioning with his head towards the doorway, in which was framed the armless and distinctly cowed Annag, behind her the silent bulk of Kato could be defined.

”I...I guess…?” Riley tried uncertainly, scratching lightly at the back of her head and leaning back to look out the window as well She still had a hard time making her eyes see anything more than a panel of textureless black there. Academically she knew it was, but it was like trying to truly comprehend the size of an eighty two digit number. And besides, how big really could space be? She had learned all about the ridiculously named ‘light-years’. ’Light travels at such-and-such-speed, so this is how far it would go in a year’ or something like that. But as far as Riley was concerned, it was a stupid thought to have. Light traveled fast enough to essentially be instant, especially when it only needed to go from the pivot to the surface. So a lightyear couldn’t really be that far, could it? She, among many others in Ringworld, would probably have an existential crisis if they ever came to truly understand the scale of the emptiness that surrounded them all.

And besides that, she was really quite sure that little of any interest could be left out there.

But wanting to at least try and share his fascination, She offered a little grin, still looking uncertain. ”B’if there is aliens out’ere, they’prolly’ jus’ eat us’r som’n.” She said, almost apologetically. ”An’ if there’s other people, they’d prolly’ jus’wanna’ kill us. Or eat us.” At least, that was what most forms of media suggested. Conspiracy theories aside, it did make sense for the large media corporations to encourage people subtly to want to stay home, keep to one general area, and keep consuming…

And more pointedly than that was the fact that in Riley Miles’ world, people from different places automatically wanted to destroy each other. That was simply a fact of life. Then too, Riley had never found any real urge to travel or explore. Even after her deportation from M’Draan, she had just stuck around in the podunk city they’d dropped her off in. Riley explored tech. Exploring places didn’t leave you any better prepared for self-defense, unless you were exploring your immediate surroundings. It didn’t leave you with skills to better yourself, other than useless trivia. It was impractical and silly.

She was about to say something about how if there was any old tech out there, she supposed she could go take a look if she had to - when she saw Ike flattening himself up against the window, heard him say her name in a tone she very much did not want to hear. Her head snapped around to where he had nodded, and in an instant the weirdly soft, ‘secret-Riley’ that Ike had just begun to get to know disappeared. It was like the clang of an anvil, like the slamming of a vault door that resonated throughout deep, metallic halls.

In reality, Ike’s frightened reaction had actually been most of the reason for the near instantaneous boiling hatred that welled up in Riley’s chest. It was just more harm done.

But the hot-tempered engineer didn’t explode, nor leap to her feet - in fact her reaction was more akin to the icy glare she had shot at the male attacker earlier. A mid-winter’s wind blew by as Riley - with an almost casual slowness - leaned forwarward, slipping her feet back into her boots, then resting elbows on thighs and looking up at them through the bobbing red hair. Like a cage fighter between rounds. She would have spat on the floor for good measure, except that there was no need to go disrespecting the old ship for a creature as unworthy as that.

”Oh, ooooohhhhh inn’at @#$%’in cute.” She drawled, the hoarse, throaty quality of her voice more pronounced once again now that she was back into her ‘default configuration’. ”Ol’ Cap’n Saturday Special come’a teach’at angry engineer a lesson in morality, is’at it?” She spoke to Kato, though her eyes were locked on the Mort.

Riley smirked lopsidedly, menacing in her casual contempt and confined loathing. ”Okay, @#$% it big man. Wot’s your cleva’ plan’a make ‘dis ’stupid young pup’ learn’a f’give an’ f’get? Les’ear it then, c'mon. Wot, gon’ show me all’bout ‘ow she’s a person jus’ like me, f’oi jus’ get’a know’a, yeah? Is’at it?” The anger was starting to become audible in her voice when she stopped speaking.

The kid could be more clever than she often appeared to be. If she dissected his plan from the start and showed him she was already privy to what he was trying to pull over on her, maybe he’d see that she wasn’t about to fall for it and save her the trouble. That speech he had given earlier told Riley everything she needed to know about him...

Abruptly, she made an impatient, circular 'move-it-along' gesture with one hand, snapping her hard, icy gaze to Kato and snapping, louder and more harshly "'arry it up then I got more importan' things'a do than babysit you's @#$%in pet!"

"I ain't anyone's pet, least of all a fed's!" Strangely it was the girl who'd spoken first, her eyes flaring up in tiny gems filled with the same anger that boiled through the veins of the person standing opposite her. "Ya think that looper behind me has gotten me to forgive or forget any of the @#$% your people have done to ours? You've got more faith in him that you let on, you silly runt!" In her own way, even armless she was still standing there threateningly as if at any second she'd leap forward and resort to just kicking away at her mortal enemy.

For his part Kato just stood there and took it, he'd made his choice and he was prepared to stick by it, regardless of what the little redhead said or did to him. Once more those inside the room would be reminded of how far detached the aged captain was from the present, how much of his life was spent living in the past, replaying day after day and all the while saving his memories into as many data banks as he could.

Annag looked back up at the captain before back down at the M'Draani, "Eys only here to make sure I don't wipe the floor with ya, an I would if I still had me arms." A quick glance down at her stumps and suddenly a wash of nausea spread through her, here she was in enemy territory challenging someone to a fight with no arms! How suicidal had she become?

"You're armless!" It seemed Ike had a talent for stating the obvious especially when it was staring him in the face, a talent that like the last time he'd used it wasn't attracting the most appreciative looks, rather the teen seemed to be distinctly unimpressed by such a discovery. The realisation on his end destroyed much of the fear that had been building like a solid castle wall being hit by the blast of an orbital bombardment, allowing him to take a few steps forward, almost curiously.

"Your powers of observation astound me, is this the special technologies that go into Synth's these days? Well, I can certainly see why me old bosses wanted to bring you in." The look and scathing comments coupled with the return of the Riley he'd squabbled with earlier made him take another step backward, glancing nervously between the two of them. In that moment Annag softened up slightly, glancing at the Synth before back to Riley. "Oh yeah, seeing your fracking face almost made me forget why I came, Ike- an if my files are correct that's your name. I'm sorry, for what it's worth gettin ya caught up in a war that isn't yours, all for this fracking death machine."

The instant her gaze returned to Riley, any sense of softness or vulnerability disintegrated, the hard steel and fire that almost seemed to run through her blood, returning in full force with all of its reinforcements to face her enemy. "An you, don't think I'm going soft on ya, I'd love to have this thing, take it from all of ya, but there's stuff here none of us should be using to win our war. Dontcha think?" In that moment a look passed over her eyes, only for a moment and the only one with any reasonable chance of catching it would be Riley, it was almost fear, not of Riley or anyone else on the ship, but the ship itself, a tiny furtive glance at the metal monster that surrounded them.

"Oh and M'Dranni, when I get my arms I'd love a rematch wherever on this blasted thing we can do it. Take out our own little war without dragging anyone else into it eh?" Another glance followed by an almost, but not quite dismissive flick of her head. "There, I've said what I wanted ta."

Throughout all of this Ike had been choosing on what to do next, it was all a bit much, his circuits were already fried from the sudden changes in situation and emotion and now to almost flip backward to just before he was shot was taking a toll on him. Yet even through all of this one choice was made, he took the few steps needed to stand by the side of Riley, almost like he was ready to back her up should a fight start, not that she'd need much help beating the unarmed, literally, girl who faced off against Riley.

Robert was tired of this, he had to say something, do something, then he realized what he could do, he walked into the middle of the obviously rising conflict, he unholstered the laser pistol he grabbed from the arms locker, and yelled, “both of you, calm down! NOW!!!” He pointed towards Annag, then Riley, now all they had to do was actually calm down.

The Mort yapped on, and on, and on - and Riley just sat there, glaring up at her with that lopsided grin that, with each passing moment of her own silence, seemed to become more and more evil. It was almost disturbing to see her that way, if only because her explosive temper was already well documented, and this was seeming perfectly out of character. The only change was at the word ‘runt’, which should have had the kid immediately flinging something heavy - but all it got was a sort of tick.

Because as hot as Miles’ anger could be, there was one thing that could keep it under control, and it wasn’t anything noble. It was the power of antagonization. In that field, Riley was vastly more developed than in combat - because all her life, undersized as she was, fighting without overwhelming advantage was pointless. But the ability to infuriate her opponents was honed to a blade. It was why she could bring out the worst in people with a single condescending glance. Why she could infuriate people with a smirk and a taunting look. She always knew how to get to the worst part of someone and help it worm its way onto the surface.

And right now, Riley was at an absolute peak of advantages. Not merely because she would undeniably win in a fight - but because her opponent was helpless to fight back at all. She wasn’t - Riley assumed - even allowed to take a shot at her. Those things together made her an unstoppable force of antagonization, and that kind of power under her belt was more than enough to keep her collected.

For as Riley knew all too well, staying calm, cool and collected was very often the quickest and most efficient way to make someone furious.

And so she sat there and grinned - and her eyes, like the place between the hammer and the anvil, stayed locked on the brilliant emeralds broadcasting a single message, over and over on repeat, with all her being.

No matter what you say, you can’t do anything.

That was it. Nothing else. Merely willing that message and no more.

Your words are meaningless with no possibility of action behind them.

Everything you say is irrelevant.

Why even talk at all?

It was all the better, since Riley had far too much experience with that very sensation. That was why she could broadcast that message in her cold, steel eyes - because they were eyes that had known, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that nothing she said would matter. That she was worthless, and helpless, and useless, and the most she could do was utterly and completely pointless.

Get down here on my level, mother@#$%er.

You like it here?

Do you?

Well I live here, @#$%. You’re walkin’ into my @#$%in’ house now.

Drilling, and drilling, and drilling away.

Maybe you’ll leave. Maybe you won’t be stuck down here with me.

But you will never forget how it felt.

I’ll make sure of that.

In some ways, it was a similar lesson to that which Ike had learned - but Riley was going to teach this one herself, and in a very different way.

When she was done, Riley shot the Mort a beautifully crafted ’are you done?’ look, complete with condescending smirk and raised brows - just enough to be infuriating, but quick enough to make one doubt if it had actually been there at all.

Then, as if Annag hadn’t actually spoken at all, Riley dragged her gaze back to Kato, let it soften just a little. The smirk remained - but the tiredness was showing through again.

”Look. Cap. I get what ye’s tryna’ do. It’s real noble’like an’all’at. But I got work t’do, right. A lot of it. I got a boat t’fix. That’s why I’s lugged up’ere, yeah?” She paused, just briefly - it was the pause that should have had her glancing to the subject of her ire for reference, but she didn’t. It was like Annag was getting hopped right over. Not even ignored, because she wasn’t there to begin with.

Right now, you don’t even exist.

Too small for a blip on the radar.

Too s h o r t for the head-count.

And nothing you say will help you climb out of that pit.

I know.

”Cap, I gotta’ take a night te’recova’ from an assault an’ battery, an’ attempted kidnapping. Then I gotta get’a work. An’ere’s a lot’a work t’be donelike” And as she went on, her voice became almost pleading. ’Look, I’m at my wit’s end here-’

”All’s I wanna’ do’s my job. Can ye’please jus’ let me do it witout any distractions?”

Even then, she wouldn’t directly reference the Mort. Because it took lifetimes to learn to scream and kick and punch and brawl your way out of the pit that Annag had fallen into with the loss of her arms, and Riley knew damned well there weren’t about to be any miracles today. If you didn’t exist, how could you be a problem? The engineer couldn’t be inconvenienced by you, because you were literally nothing. Sure, that engineer had a problem. There was some responsibility that the captain was trying to dump on her, and she didn’t want it. But what was that problem? Who knew? But it sure as hell couldn’t be- who, again?

This was a dark part of Riley that Ike had only glimpsed when they had first met, when she had tried to make him feel like the idiot for being properly sociable. But this was much worse. This was downright cruel - and cruelty such as that would have to come from a dark place indeed.

Ike was at a complete loss, everything was just ... wrong. He'd made a new friend, or really his first actual friend beside the bio-engineer who created him and now here they were attempting to Psychologically damage someone else. Admittedly this person had shot him and tried to kidnap them, but - he just couldn't help feeling something wrong with it, like a meal which look perfectly delicious on the outside, but you bite in and discover its made of finely painted tissue over a layer of maggots.

Why did it have to go so wrong? Why couldn't he just explore space how he wanted to...

The door was awfully close.

Annag met her gaze and for a few seconds stood there, almost in indecision before giving into her base instincts, if this little runt wanted a competition to psyche the other out then so be it, she was a living weapon, she would take this head on. Regardless of how it affected her, she vowed one thing. She was not going to give that anyone the satisfaction of seeing it. If that creature standing opposite her wanted a reaction, she'd be sorely mistaken,

The emerald eyes met and locked onto the steel eyes of her opponent and watched the message in them with deep, almost furious intensity. In a small way it achieved its intended effect, in many others, she was already preaching to the choir. The soldier had no illusions about her place in the grand scheme of things, for her life had no plans, just that she serve her people to the utmost and best of her abilities. If she were to die just then and there it wouldn't matter, those running the pit would just create a new one and keep on going like always.

Really it wasn't a message she needed much convincing to understand, not that she'd show that to the M'Dranni, refusing to even move a single muscle over her face was victory enough. It was all that she was gonna take, standing there armless and under the careful watch of pistols.

I'll be done when I'm dead, till then keep trying.

"Riley!" Ike spoke suddenly, some small part of him snapping to a decision. Everything was just too overwhelming, the ship, the shots, kidnapping, a new friend and now this. "This isn't right! You're better than this, that's sinking to their level!" His pleas were only half-audible, a voice of doubt burrowing like a worm into his brain as he spoke. Already he doubted it would have any effect, cause any change amongst the mind battles which were playing out.

He didn't even wait for her to speak to Kato, not that he thought she'd be watching. He still wrapped a single arm around her for just a second before almost recoiling as if the mere act was going to drag him into the same spiral of hatred.

With a small glance and an even quieter goodbye, he made a quick but relatively stealthy glide towards the door. If he'd read the ship's schematics right he knew they'd be at least one aboard and no one would be guarding it either, in that he could be safe to just think. He didn't care if he was punished afterward, he just needed somewhere to think. "I'll be outside-"

Once out of sight he ran, pelting at full tilt out of sight and around corridors, anything to get to where he wanted to be even faster.

Finally, Kato moved, stepping into the room after Robert and placing a hand on his shoulder, "Careful, we don't need guns being added to the mix, all we need do is keep a careful eye on the two of them to make sure they're not killing each other and we're fine."

Turning back to Riley he fixed her with one of his gazes that seemed to both be right there in that moment, focusing directly on her, but also coming from very far away as if gazing at someone from the past. "If you wish for her to leave you alone ask her so yourself, until then I'm not a voice to speak to her through so you can go on ignoring her or whatever you're trying to do. Till then, she is free to stay or leave as she likes."

He sighed, he'd let her come in and say her thing, maybe the engineer was right and he should forcefully sperate the two-It wouldn't be that hard either, all he needed to do is take the brown-haired fighter and confine her to his quarters. It wasn't like she would be able to fight back either. "I'll make sure no one distracts you while you do your job, you have my word not a soul will be allowed onto the engineering decks while you're there." If nothing else that was something he could promise her, a tiny concession in the face of everything else that'd gone wrong.

Yet again within the space of a few seconds, Annag felt another sensation she'd felt many times before, deep crushing isolation. There wasn't really anyone here on this ship that cared about her, she was nothing to them and they existed perfectly well without her. She had no friends or anyone to turn to. It reminded her of the pits, in a twisted way it was almost like home.

Robert glared at Kato, he knew he was right, but he wanted to end this the peaceful way, but to enforce peace, comes order, and he was simply the order in this scenario, so neither one or the other tried anything, he told himself, “hopefully Kato caught on to this, eh, better have her leave before things escalate.” The then replied, still not looking away, “Hey Kato, why don’t you show...Ms. Armless where her quarters are?” He didn’t know her name, as Kato didn’t tell him yet, he just made a gesture with the gun in his hand to signal that they should go, and then put the gun back in it’s holster.

The problem with antagonizing someone was that when it didn’t work, it backfired - and without realizing what was happening, her attempts at psyching out the Mort weren’t the only thing falling to bits around her.

The instant Ike said her name, Riley’s whole facade fell away as she snapped her head to look at him with wide eyes, a feral look between confusion and panic. ”W-what?” ’W-what’d I do?!’

But it was the way he pulled away that had her eyes glistening when she watched in absolute, sinking dread as Ike sidled out of the recovery ward and through the door. She had been on top of the world, and now-

The glazed, heartbroken, gaping stare she left hanging on the doorway, hoping that in some alternate universe maybe he would come back-

She couldn’t think of a time when she had felt more betrayed. It was her own fault for having let her guard down, and she wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

Eyes drifted to Annag, who doubtless was looking onto this abrupt weakness on the redhead’s part as a victory for herself-

If she blinked fast enough, maybe she could hold back the-

Here she was again, back at the bottom of the barrel. Just like always. Alone, and left to face her myriad failures by herself. She’d lost. Failed again. And right there, standing in front of her, a goddamned Mort. A Mort with no @#$%ing arms. And still, she had lost. Still, she had @#$%ed it up. There was, simply put, no bigger humiliation than this. All she could do now was sit there and take it. Just like always.

She wanted that Mort to understand what it felt like. More than anything - except perhaps a certain synthetic-humanoid’s reassuring presence - she wanted Annag to feel what it felt like not just to live at the bottom of the pit, but have her face shoved into the ground there. She wanted her to know what the mud tasted like. Wanted her to know how it felt not only to be utterly helpless, but to be at the mercy of someone you had no reason to think would stop at just teaching you a lesson. To know, with absolute certainty, that you were about to die, someone was about to take full, cruel advantage of your handicap and destroy you with it.

One good hit. That was all she needed. Hit her once, just to show her how Ike felt being shot in the back, and tied up and terrified, unable to do anything but watch as his enemies took advantage of him.

Annag was a soldier - a warrior. The Mads and Morts weren’t so different in many ways - one of which being the hierarchy of soldiers. Annag wasn’t just more respected and valuable than Riley, she as more of a person. Her words meant more. The way she looked back at Riley told her that. Maybe they were both just cogs in the great machine, easy to replace, barely worth their weight in natural elements - but until Annag had been where Ike had not long ago, where Riley had time, and time, and time and time again - she couldn’t know.

Everything always came full circle. Here she was again, back in the dregs. Abandoned by the one person she had made the deadly mistake of beginning to trust, facing down the enemy, far below where the civilized people went about their lives. Civilized people like Kato, who viewed the world in terms of what was right and wrong - luxuries that savages like them could never hope to afford. Waist deep in loneliness and irrelevance, with nothing left to do but try and make the other drown in it. It was always the same. She had forgotten for a moment, that she was just as invisible, just as worthless as Annag was. Ike walking away, recoiling from her like the revolting, toxic poisonous creature that she was - that had reminded her. That had put her back in her place, right next to the Mort.

And as she stared down that smug, cocky, armless corpse@#$%ing @#$%, the smirk gone, replaced with a scowl that deepened and deepened as her rage multiplied over and over.

This was all her fault. Everything had been going so great until she showed up. Sure, that idiot captain was at fault too, but that didn’t matter.

All she needed was one hit. One solid hit, just to show her that she couldn’t do whatever she wanted and get away with a slap on the wrist. Until she had been there, the best lesson that fool Kato could hope to teach was ’don’t step on the ants, Annag. It’s not nice.’

And with each moment that passed with Riley being the abused victim, the one who couldn’t even take a swing back at her attacker - she became the ant. The tiny, insignificant thing that crawled on the floor of the pit, while she got to stand over her.

Her eyes, low and hateful, slid just for a moment to glance at Firth, and the gun he was aiming at her. ’Is that what I mean to you?’ Just because he proceeded to put the thing away at Kato’s insistence didn’t mean he hadn’t aimed at her in the first place.

The ice was gone, now burning white hot like stars contained in their ancient Dyson spheres, the ancient and raging fury contained within the icy exterior, exposed to vacuum and nothing more. What if this was her only chance? She was sure if she was quick enough, she could fling that wrench into the Mort’s gut or, ideally, face. One hit, and then she could be dishonorably discharged and go back to the @#$% life she had become accustomed to. No more of this cruel, resentful teasing at things that were too good to be true. No more of Kato’s games.

Great Mars, had it really only been one day?

”Nah. Won’t be necess’ry.” She said lowly, shaking her head, glancing between Firth and Kato to indicate that she was speaking on both fronts. They didn’t need to confine the Mort, and they didn’t need to keep anyone off the Engineering deck.

”I don’t need no special treatment. Keep the bitch on whatever length leash ye’want.” For the second time, she settled her gaze back on the burning emeralds, acknowledging her existence once more. Her voice low, with the slightest tremor that hinted at the tide of emotion that hung behind them. ”I’m here for a @#$%in’ reason. You? You’re here because the Cap pities you. He allowed you to stay under his care and protection, and you’s allowed to go where he says ye’can. @#$%, can you even feed y’self right now? Nah, he’s gon’ havt’a give’ye a goddamn bowl. An’ I bet he’ll even buy’ye a new set’a arms, won’t he? An’ wan’t it nice of ‘im ta’ let’ye come and speak ye’peace.”


Riley glanced to Kato just briefly, seeing again the way he just - to her perception - looked right through her. But it was another one of those looks that seemed to speak a thousand words; 'And what if it had been me? You wouldn't have kept me around, would you. OF course not.' But she doubted he even saw, too lost in daydreams about the perfect world. Looking back to Annag, the smirk reappeared, as taunting and antagonizing as before. ”You’re a lil’ Fed’s pet, Mort. I ain’t gonna’ lose no sleep over a goddamn kitten.” Slowly, and a little bit sorely, Riley stood - subtly watching to see if any guns were drawn on her, just as a matter of trivia. She went about picking her coat up off the floor, shrugging it on. ”You’re in the cloverfield now, aint'cha?” She added almost as an afterthought, glancing back over her shoulder with that same smirk as she swung her trusty wrench onto the spot on her belt she had made for it.

That was cruel in itself - for shared among the Mad and Mort dialect were a number of innocent, innocuous sounding expressions with meanings much darker than they appeared - the cultural reflection of looking with dark humor on a miserable life. Nobody but the two of them would have any reason to understand that to be ’in the cloverfield’ was to be the last one standing among vast fields of dead comrades. It was used in many a story of heroic Mads or Morts who had made their last stand, but here the connotation was very different.

Because nobody left ‘the cloverfields’. Dead or alive. That had always been the implication; that they went on existing there, utterly alone, surrounded by nothing but the comrades they had failed to protect.

In times like these, everybody lost. She was aware of that. Ike had lost too somehow, though she still wasn’t sure what she had done to lose him like that. Even the mort was losing, because Riley knew the loser’s pit all too well.

There was a dark comradery between these two, the Mad and the Mort. She had forgotten that, for a moment. Forgotten that no, she had not left the pit. Just because of some fancy Fed job she didn’t deserve, just because of the momentary kindness of some Fed robot that had abandoned her when she needed him the most. But she was back now. Back in the dregs, with no illusions. She was back where she knew what she meant to these people. She was nothing, and indeed, it did feel like coming home.

That was why there were two sides to every perceived victory in the Mad and Mort mindframe. Annag had gotten a glimpse of Riley’s weakness, when the girl watched with heartbreak shimmering in her eyes. But she had also, in that moment, watch as Riley very clearly lost the only thing that mattered to her - and that made her extremely dangerous.

Slowly, and deliberately, head angled forward and looking through the hair at Annag, Riley began to walk toward her. She made a point of holding her arms out some to either side, showing that anyone who wanted to stop a fight would see her reaching for her weapon with enough time to stop her.

She had so much more to say. So much more. But the fury and loss and betrayal whirled within her like a tempest, clouding her thoughts and muddying her eyes. She wanted to say something harsh. Something that she knew would dig it’s way deep into the Mort and pierce her innermost heart, and make her feel just a minute fraction of the fear and helplessness that she lived with daily.

But she couldn’t The words were gone now. As she realized this, her pace became less deliberate. But still she kept the steel locked onto the emerald, watching, boring, for the faintest flicker of that which she so desperately wanted to see. And if she could manage to catch it, her face would become alight with recognition to drive it home.

But if not, that was fine. The exhaustion was creeping up on her again, and it mingled with the adrenaline fueled hate to produce a sickening concoction of twitchy, jumpy nausea.

She walked toward Annag, and if Kato or Firth got in her way, she would hald and say calmly ”I am leaving”.

But if nobody interrupted her, she would step right up to Annag, spit in her face like a cop in a Kubrick movie, all the while secretly praying she would retaliate, give her an excuse, she still had enough pent-up fury to get two or three good shits to the face in before Kato could pull her away, probably could break her nose for real this time - and then in a voice dripping with pure contempt and nothing more - not even hate - would say ”Step aside.”

He was alone, everything was better now. Right? That's how it should be, him and the vast depths of space, the void called to him, asking, no begging for him to explore it, see the sights, discover new worlds, live among never before seen species. It was just behind the next door- The thought struck him, the Last Light wouldn't fire on a ship with Federal recognition codes, the gates wouldn't close would they? It was right there, all he'd ever wanted, one press and the door would open, a few steps and then -. Then it would be just him and the great beyond.

He'd be alone with the vastness of space.

Yet even in the second his hand eagerly rushed forward to hit the button his circuits froze up, Do you really want to be alone? Of course, he did, what else was there for him? The person he'd put so much faith in, had looked up to, had been saved by, turned out to be just as much of a pshycho as the ones who'd tried to kill him. His creator was right, it really was better just to have no-one. You don't fool anyone

He wished that voice would just shut up, just go away. He knew what he was doing, he was running away from everything, running to where he wanted to be. That was all, why couldn't it just let him be happy. You know you can't just escape like that, who'll maintain you? You'll die out there. So what if he died exploring the galaxy? Who would care? Nor her, she'd just try to use him in some sort of mind game, that was the real her, all her kindness was just a twisted front to draw him in. I know that's not tue

"Just shut up! What do you know anyway?"I'm you dumbass The Synth froze cold, processing the voice, it was him? Logically it had to be if it was talking to him, but why had he never heard it before-? The blasts screwed with our wiring, I'm just a backup version A backup? What did that mean? Why did he need a backup? Cause there's a military override in your head which wipes you clean. I'm the version hidden away to be copied.

Slowly and visibly Ike began to tremble, the voice was lying, it had to be, he was just a Synth, but to live a normal life and existence wasn't he? That's all he was, the test version so the others could do the actual tasks. I wouldn't lie to myself, they didn't just make you to let you run off, Synths cost way too much to just let one go to waste, why do you think the new line was specially designed to fit perfectly in with humans around them? That was easy, Ike knew that one, the new line was designed to be able to perform the same tasks as robots while also being a far more friendly face to a human! Its cause you're the perfect agents, ones who don't even know they're one until activation. No suspicious behaviors, no needing outside communication, just a regular person

That would mean it was all a lie, his dreams, his ambitions, they were all just there to put him on the ship, a little spy to keep the rest of the crew loyal. Everyone was using him, after all, that's what he was, wasn't he? A tool, he wasn't human, not a real person. She wasn't using you She would have done! All you had to do was look at her at that moment to see that she wasn't really the smiling girl curled up on the seat, it was the same as before, she'd do everything to keep others down, sinking them to the same level she was on. She's your friend, that was not her, not who she really is, that was some part affected by everything in her life What do yo- Oh give it a rest, clearly something happened to her to make her like that, people aren't just - Look at who's the naive one now.

Ike stopped moving and almost crumpled, he wasn't even looking at what was going on outside of him now. His brain felt like shutting down once more, just to let himself black out and have to deal with it all some other time, he was a lie, what was the point - You can still protect her How, he'd screwed up and left her, either he'd been right and everything was a lie, or he was wrong in which case it all was Damn you, listen to me for a second, stop being a coward for a single moment in your meaningless life and just do what I say

---

If this a victory, Annag thought, it wasn't what she'd dreamed it to be like, there was supposed to be a sense of triumph, of accomplishment, something to indicate things had gone her way. Yet she didn't feel it, not when it came with the look that had reflected in her eyes as the little Synth had fled as his own mind broke down.

This girl, she'd actually had a friend, or at least someone she'd trusted and whatever was going on here, Annag's presence was tearing it apart, in those moments she didn't look away, but she didn't speak either, she stayed there, simply projecting one message back with her eyes.

"I'm sorry"

This whole thing was a fracking mess, the M'Draani was in danger of losing the one thing she cared about and somewhere in that warped view of the world, a long 19-year life spent brutalizing others inside a pit had drilled into her, so she could better serve her people, she knew this was wrong. Maybe Kato had really done something to her in those moments when he was fiddling with her arms, but if nothing else she made up her mind to avoid the girl from then onwards, at least she could give that assistance to her, remove the temptation to be severed from any lifeline to a happiness the little runt had won.

At the back of the room, Kato nudged Robert all of a sudden, turning to him with eyes that spoke of sudden and deadly seriousness. "When this is all done I need you to go find Sec and order him to follow you, I'll be waiting for you in the armoury. Don't delay a single second, the ship depends on you and that droid getting there as quickly as possible."

A Cloverfield huh? The line sparked more of her long unused parts of her brain, the girl was right obviously, she really was trapped here now for good or worse, the only way she was leaving this ship was in a bodybag. Yet, that had always been her life, moved from one ring surrounded by those trying to kill her to another, it was laughable really, this was just another one, the faces of those controlling her had changed and so had those she was ordered to fight, but the rules stayed the same.

"When you live every single day in a Cloverfield its hard to tell them apart."

She stepped aside as Riley approached, providing a free and clear acess to the door.

Yet before Riley could leave a familiar person stepped into the doorway, it was Synth. Even in that first second, it would be clear to everyone in the room that the machine standing there wasn't Ike, at least not the Ike they knew. The movements were stiff and almost mechanical in nature, his eyes starred glassily ahead, not in the forgetful way Kato's did, but more in a blind way, as if the information was going in but nothing was really being processed. Yet the oddest thing was in the total and utter lack of any emotion playing across any of his features, not a single scrap of him indicated any sign of life behind that face, custom built face. He held one hand out to her, extending it slowly and methodically.

In the center of his palm was a small chip, with a tiny label on the side which read Personality, Ike - the curious, beside it lay a similar chip, crushed beyond all repair which had a similar label. Personality, Ike - backup after activation. The synth looked down at the two then back up to Riley with violet, unblinking eyes. "I've got a message for you from Ike, he wanted to say: I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got scared and ran off, I wasn't able to be the friend I'd promised myself I would be. I failed to be there for you. Turns out though, I'm not real anyway, my dreams are a lie. So - I've removed my personality chip and given myself one last directive, to protect you. If nothing else, I can at least apologise to you that way, my own problems will never get in the way of being by your side. It's up to you to do what you want with my personality chip."

“Alright, I can do that, all I need is where sec actually is, as I don’t have a tracker on me right now, but I think i now wher-what the hell? Ike? Why are you back so soon?” He then let Ike explain himself, and then said in a monotone voice “oh, so you’re letting yourself become a boy toy war machine without a personality or morality? Alright then.”

Riley almost let it slip - but she couldn’t. It didn’t matter how tired or furious or dejected or afraid she was. It was growing harder and harder by the second to keep it all inside where it belonged. Whirling on Annag as she stepped aside, eyes blazing like suns, all traces of contempt, even of loathing, gone beneath...whatever that intensity was. ”Don’chyou look’it me li’that!” She practically screamed, as close to directly in the Mort’s face as she could manage. The older girl’s look had intended to be an apology of sorts, but it simply wouldn’t register on RIley as such. To her, all she could see was ”I don’t need you’s @#$%in’ pity!”

Maybe it was because Riley herself was incapable of apology? It would only make sense.

Letting her voice drop back to a low, more controlled growl she pointed an accusatory finger at Annag, possibly prodding her in the chest, and hard enough to bruise. But that wasn’t what she was going for. ”I will take your hate. But I will not take your @#$%ing pity.”

And with that, the girl whirled back toward the door, only to find herself face-to-face with- Ike?

Except it wasn’t Ike. Something was wrong. Something that chilled her to the bone - that had a way of dampening the raging fire that burned away in her chest. A look of desperate, miserable incredulity fell over her as the humanoid-robot spoke in that disturbing monotone, filling her with the urge to grab him by the collar and shake him, though resisting it.

And then, once again, the steel door slammed shut, and she once more became somehow detached, and cold and sounding more frustrated with everything than the screaming torrent of emotions she actually contained now.

”Is you tellin’ me Ike @#$%in’ killed ‘imself?” She asked, that same disbelief and exhaustion seeping from her voice, which was light and hoarse. ”’e’s upset ‘bout runnin’ away from ‘s problems, an’ e’ goes an’ does th’one mos’ selfish, cowardly, disgustin’ thing a person can do. Is’at’it?” Contrary to many warrior cultures, the Mads and Morts believed there was no honor at all in suicide - that it was a self-centered, wasteful and cowardly thing to do. It was an easy way of shrugging off your own responsibilities and putting them onto others.

There were very few things that Ike could have done which would have disgusted her more. Few things he could have done to cut closer to the bone than he had this time.

The sentimentality of it was utterly lost on her, too - the callous @#$% that she was. It was obvious from the start that his sacrifice meant nothing to her.

What, was he trying to make some kind of point? More apologies? More pity?

What had crushed her so was not that he’d fled. She resented that, indeed - but to be afraid of something, to want to run away and hide - Riley could understand that.

It had been the way he spoke to her, the way he looked at her, the way he had recoiled from her like some toxic monster. And the worst part of all was that she couldn’t entirely blame him. It had been her mistake to trust him in the first place. The whole thing was essentially her own fault.

It was an empty gesture on his part. So what if he promised to stick close? Sticking close was meaningless when he thought she was a monster. Maybe he had some ulterior motive. Maybe he was up to something. She could only speculate. But why bother?

And he had been right in his musings about her, though she didn’t know about them. It was true. All Riley did, all she could do, was drag people down to her level. Drag them down to the place that she could never claw her way up from.

WIth a dejected, irritated sigh, Riley rubbed at her eyes. ”A’right, that’s th’old Ike right? That chip’ere?” She gestured to the chip that was still in one piece, glancing to the disturbing, soulless Not-Ike’s eyes. With the movement, the diacomm she had been reading on earlier was exposed, the glow peeking out from where the screen stuck up from her pocket. She had forgotten to turn it off or fold up the screen in her hurry to leave.

’chapter will discuss the fundamentals of biochemistry as it relates to the construction and maintenance of advanced, Daneel-Class synthetics, and what to do in the event that your synthetic sustains operation-threatening damage or’

Riley couldn’t comprehend why Ike might have done this really, and she didn't need to. She didn’t want to. She just wanted to get back where she belonged - isolated, universally hated, and safely locked away within her steely shell of bitterness and loathing, where nothing could hurt her

”Okay, look. Jus’ put Ike back in his slot or back in control or whatev’, an’ go @#$% y’self. Okay? An’ tell’im when he reboots outta’ ‘safe mode’ t’stop bein’ such’a @#$%in’ drama queen. Now get the @#$% outta’ my way.”

And saying that, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, as if there was no other possible option and why bother even asking such a stupid thing, Riley shoved past the disturbing shell of just another in-the-way husk. Another person who didn’t matter. Someone who she couldn’t hate herself for pushing away when she needed him most, simply because of the horrible person she was at her core. Just some guy.

Shouldering by, there was not a force in the dead ‘verse that would stop her now. She needed to get away, and so she got away. She was a cruel, vile creature of hatred and darkness, and she needed to return to the heinous pit of loathing from which she had briefly, stupidly stuck her head from.

The energy buzzed inside her like anxiety. She moved in simultaneous fast-forward and slow-motion, gliding through the halls, one foot in front of the other - too tired to run and feeling the need to conserve what energy she had left for her favorite, and least healthy coping mechanism. It took only a sliver of conscious thought to locate the storage room - one she had always assumed went mostly unused due to location. Slipping inside, she closed the door behind her, then fumbled desperately, clumsily with the mechanism until making it lock. She couldn’t wait.

Robert sighed, walking past the shell of what once was a synth named Ike and towards where Riley was heading, wondering why he was doing this, given he would usually let Kato do this part. he walked down the hallway and heard threw the door Riley, sobbing and down at rock bottom. He just plainly said threw the wall “look, him taking out his personality chip isn’t entirely your fault, your not the one who took out the chip, you’re not the one who shot him, all you did was nudge him there, there was many...factors into his practical suicide, you weren’t even the biggest one, you know who was? The two morts who shothim, held him hostage and nearly killed him, you’re in the right here, or at least from my viewpoint.” He was horrible at comfort, as he didn’t do much comforting in his years of service, he scratched his neck, not knowing what else to say, until he thought out something, “I’m gonna stay here until you open the door, or I eventually have to go get sec and meet up Kato in the armoury.”

Annag would wait a few seconds watching everything unfold with an almost detached frustration playing over her features, the bruise on her chest didn't really matter if anyone had bothered to look under there the number of cuts and faded scars would have been more than enough that any actual lasting damage that occurred there would be lost in the unsolvable maze that already lined the muscles on her chest. The second she saw the machine that stood in Ike's shell place the personality chip back inside its skull, returning the machine to consciousness, she'd calmly walk up to him and without a seconds hesitation, nut him.

He wasn't even fully booted back up when he felt himself tumble to his feet, looking up half in a daze at the woman standing over him.

"You're a fracking idiot you know that?"

A quick glance around him told Ike all that he needed to know, she'd gone and hadn't accepted his final gesture. The memories came flooding back, he was a lie, with all his ambitions generated to make him the perfect spy. "W-w"

"Oh snap out of it ya little wimp! You find out your little idol ain't the little miss perfect that you imagined her to be so you run off and try to take your own life?" There was a true sense of anger in her voice, the actions just felt pathetic, she could see the loss both shared in their eyes and it only fueled the fire. "If I had arms I would just slug you right here and now."

"What's the point -" His voice carried the same almost monotonous tones that rung through its voice as when he'd removed his chip. "I'm a lie."

"Yeah, ya said that before, doesn't make any more sense to me now that it did the last time ya warbled it out."

The synth turned his eyes on her, eyes that practically didn't even see the person furiously yelling at him. "I'm a spy machine, built to do my best to get on this ship, ready to be activated and wiped should the government want a handy tool for controlling the ship. My entire personality, every hope and dream, ITS ALL A LIE!"

"An?"

It was just one word, but it gave the Synth pause. It was spoken so simply, so matter of fact that for a second he thought he must have misheard her. "I'm a drone, something fake to be deleted the second my usefulness is up. I've always wanted to explore space, just so I could end up here! How can I do anything when I can't even trust that I'm doing it because I want to."

She bent down, placing herself right in front of his face and half spoke, half yelled at the machine. In a way, it was her way of showing concern, some sort of sympathy. "And you destroyed your backup eh? Welcome to humanity, one life, one chance. Well done, you're just as broken or twisted as the rest of us, give yourself a round of applause." She stared intently into his face before looking back at Kato, "I want some temporary arms please, I've got to do this."

Surprisingly Kato nodded, motioning to Robert that he had the situation under control. "Don't worry Robert, I trust her on this one, it can't be worse than anything else that's happened already. I need you to go find Sec and bring it over to the armory." He turned back to Annag. "You'll find some lying around in the small workshop a floor above."

She nodded in thanks, a short curt nod, it didn't look friendly, but to the girl, it was the best she was gonna do. "Right, here's the deal ya toaster, I jam the signal in your brain and you do something for me. You don't need to worry too much, I'd rather not have a Government murder machine on the loose and keeping you, you are a far easier solution."

At that moment he didn't need telling twice to follow along with the deal she'd offered him, it was a way out, something he could use to prove to himself if he was really him. The idea had crossed his mind that she'd simply reprogram him to serve as her murder machine instead, but then again, that wouldn't be much of a change, so what really did he have to lose?"

In a different situation, it would almost have been comical, an armless girl dragging along a far stronger looking Synth.



"Thank y-"

"Shut up and listen." Annag knocked away the muted and startled words of thanks, brushing them aside as she pressed on with her own agenda. "If it wasn't already obvious to every single being in this forsaken galaxy, you two need each other."

"But, I - "

"No, you're no government war-machine, you're a person, so is she. You're both falling apart faster than this ship and it's utterly fracking ridiculous. Whatever's gone on in her past she's as @#$%ed up as I am and she needs you there. If nothing else to stop her going off the deep end. If this place is to be my new home I'm not having some half-crazed engineer running maintenance. I'm also not having a Synth curling himself up a corner wallowing in guilt all the time, you're @#$%ed up, well so are the rest of us."

"What's your plan?"

"We're gonna sneak in there and I'm going to drill it into both of your heads."

In retrospect, Annag knew how stupid that sounded, yet she couldn't think of anything better to say at that moment, it was a rather weak line that explained little, something she did her best to rectify on the journey there.

---

The sight Riley would awake to was that of the Mortugan sitting there, small, flimsy plastic arms socketed into the plugs on her shoulder, resting them on knees that had been drawn up into a crouching position. "Ya done wallowing in your little pool of self-pity there? You're a soldier aren't ya? Now act like one. You don't want any pity so I'm not giving you any, not that I have much of it for either of you. Ya both a bunch of cowards."

She'd speak quickly and loudly, only increasing her volume if Riley tried to say something before she'd finished. "Look at ya, so torn apart cause you think ya little buddy's no longer ya little buddy. He's a coward and an idiot, but for all his faults, hating you isn't one of them. You said to me that I'm in the Cloverfield now, well we've both been living in it all our lives, but every Cloverfield is so much weaker when you face it with someone else. It helps you both face your personal demons together. Or you can just choose to sit there and push him away again when he finds his way here, pick to live in a tiny walled world surrounded by your own demons."

It was a bit surreal, especially to Annag to be crouching there in this position, giving this lecture to someone else. After all she'd failed this exam with the lowest marks. Yet there was a frustrated sense of pent-up annoyance to the Mort's voice that would to many help lend credence to her claims of still salvageable friendship if only both of them tried. Although there was something else there, some sense of almost personal attachment to the whole affair, which not even Ike who'd spend hours being worked on by the Mort had yet to decipher.

Ike chose that moment to clumsily flop into the room, tumbling from the same access port that Annag had clearly used however long ago she'd entered the room. The sparkles that had once been in his eyes, the same ones that he'd viewed her through were plainly back in their original place. There was only one thing he really knew to say at that point. "I'm a @#$%ing idiot and I should have done this before, regardless of how much of me is faked without my knowledge, hiding from it all was a cowards choice. No matter what, I still admire you - " He trailed off before starting her down, almost challenging her to not believe him. Hands bawled into small defiant fists as he looked towards her.

Robert shrugged, “at least it’d be something in what’s becoming more and more insane, probably the most action the ship’ll have for decades” he thought as he headed to where Kato said sec would be, after eventually getting to a flight deck, finding sec, hurrying to some place he needed to be, Robert yelled to sec, “HEY SEC! KATO WANTS YOU AT THE ARMOURY! STAT! And then seeing if sec heard him, if not, he would repeat himself, only louder, until he’d see sec turn around and drive towards the armoury, then turning around himself and jogging to the armoury.

When Riley awoke, it was with a start, jolted out of a half-dream by the half-conscious recognition that she was not alone. In an abrupt and undignified spasm, Riley flailed into a sitting position, letting out in that sluggish, still-asleep bawl something that sounded a lot like ’get off me’ - but couldn’t be defined for certain.

The room spun a little, rocked beneath her as, wide eyed, she tried to focus and, more importantly, comprehend what she was looking at. No, who she was looking at. It was - it was - oh God.

No.

Not her.

Anyone but her.

Riley blinked. It was her.

How was this happening? This had to be another dream. This couldn’t be happening. The thought washed over her like some inky wave. Reality set in. Riley’s heart sank. She blinked. She heard, almost as though through the ears of someone else, as the Mort spoke - and on some ethereal level, detached from her own reality, she even listened.

Indeed, it was surreal. In the vague, cloudy period that was the ‘recent past’, this person had been the enemy of everything she cared about. Then, for a time, it had seemed like she was the enemy only of her. Like everyone else had forgiven her for something plainly unforgivable, and now suddenly Riley was the bad guy for not joining in. For being realistic and holding a grudge that needed to be held. It had been one betrayal after another.

And now, this person, this Mortugan filth, this revolting creature who had hurt her crewmate in a blatant anti-Fed attack - she, of all people, was not only dead or in jail like she obviously should have been. No, she was sitting here, in front of Riley, trying to teach her life lessons or something. She wasn’t exactly sure. But it sounded a lot like Kato. Turning real, serious issues into lessons on morality or friendship or whatever the @#$% they felt they needed to teach her.

She had come up here under the impression that she was needed. Yet with each passing second, it seemed more and more that she had been brought in merely as some kind of student. She knew it didn’t make sense, that the Feds had no reason to do that - but the crew was clearly under a different impression. The crew wanted to change her. To force their ideals down her throat. To make her a better person. To fix her. It wasn’t the first time people had tried to fix her, but it was the first time that someone so obviously, overwhelmingly unqualified to even speak to her, let alone try to teacher some @#$% had done so.

What was she to these people?

She was starting to understand. These people were really the same as everyone else. All of them.

Above all else, Riley Miles could simply not handle the idea of being considered small and weak. It was a primal need in her, an instinct that trumped almost all others. A need she had essentially built her life around, built herself around. Every day was a struggle to prove to those around her that she was worth the air she breathed. Every day a battle to show everyone that she was not small, and she was certainly not weak. Every day spent trying to convince herself that it wasn’t all a lie. And at the end of the day, like going to bed without an empty stomach, all she really needed was to feel secure in having convinced them.

And now, here she was; with an enemy who had gotten away with murder, who had won over the people she was supposed to trust and somehow been perverted into just ‘one of the team’ - a Mort, a person she despised and needed with all her heart to rise above. Of all people, it had to be her - and Ike, too - to see Riley at her absolute smallest, and by far her absolute weakest.

She had nothing left.

That was it.

They had won. Beaten her.

The Mort had taken everything.

It didn’t matter that Ike was flopping out of the wall and spewing lies and stupidity at her. Saying things that only sounded twisted and cruel. Saying things engineered to get her in close just to hurt her again. To remind her again of what she was, and that she would never be any different. To remind her how much people hated the thing that she was.

She wanted to believe him, too. Maybe that was the worst part. She wanted to forget the way he had looked at her. She wanted to believe that the way he had recoiled from her had only been due to his fear and stress, and not due to her being the disgusting, filthy, toxic heap of human trash that she was. She wanted to. She had even tried. In the moments of calm that had followed her private outburst, she had tried to convince herself - but it wasn’t that easy. People thought it was - people thought it was a simple matter to just change the way you perceived something - but it wasn’t. ’Don’t look at it that way’, they’d say. As if staring at heartbreak from a different angle would turn it into comfort.

But some things just stung too deeply. Some things just hurt too badly. And every time she looked at him, she tried to remember how he had been before - and could see it only as a collection of lies and manipulations. An act. In some twisted poetry of which she was not aware, it was much the same thought that Ike himself had found eating away at his mind in the time he had been away. But Ike had had his ‘inner self’ there to walk him through it, and work whatever magic it had to break that illusion. All Riley had was herself, and someone who she despised and resented more than just about anyone in the Ringworld. It just wasn’t going to work.

She hated when people called it ‘self-pity’. It was wrong. It was cruel and unnecessary. She wasn’t flaunting it. She wasn’t going about shoving her problems in everyone’s faces. She wasn’t going around wailing ’Everyone! Look at how hard everything is! Look at how much I struggle and suffer!’ She was just trying to deal with her own @#$% by herself. How was that self-pity? It was as if people needed to try and make her feel bad for feeling bad. Feel bad fr not making it all just magically go away.

And no matter what-

Her smallest, and weakest, and there they were, looking down at her.

With the room in better focus, Riley’s eyes became lidded and tired. She shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms to hide her hands, as if maybe that would salvage just some tiny, infinitesimal sliver of the dignity she had completely lost. The dignity she had never deserved in the first place, because it was all a lie, and now they knew. As if they hadn’t already. It was all she could see, no matter how she tried.

”Leave me alone.” She muttered, voice desolate and hopeless, weirdly annunciated with only a hint of her usual accent coming through. She looked at the floor, only because she couldn’t bear to look at either of them, with their two different flavors of humiliation.

”I’m not here to face demons or make friends.” It was practically a monotone - a manner of speaking she had not yet exhibited. It was downright disturbing. Something close, though not quite identical, to how Ike had been without his chip.

”I’m not here to have anyone fix me.” She went on, only one word standing phonetically out, and only slightly at that.

She wanted to say more.
’You’ve taken everything. You’ve taken what little dignity I had, and you’ve taken what little trust I had. It’s not self-pity. I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask?’

But the words wouldn't come. In the end, all she could do was push herself up a little more into the wall behind her, cross her arms a little tighter around her torso to hide vainly hide her hands, and just wait for it all to pass. Wait for the predators to decide that there wasn’t anything left to take, and leave. All she could say was what she’d already said.

”I’m not here for facing demons or making friends. I’m not here for anyone to help me or fix me. Just go away and leave me alone.”

They had seen her at her weakest and most pathetic. Soon, she figured, the whole ship would know. One or both of them would revel at the chance to take the redheaded brat down a few pegs, expose her for what she was, and let everyone know that she actually could be stepped all over. Get back at her for all the times she had insulted them or pushed them away or antagonized them. Get a well deserved revenge.

She had nothing to lose now.

And when she did look back up at them, eyes glistening softly, all the words she couldn’t find seemed to be reflected in that lonesome steel gaze. It was the desolate, pleading, pitiful, begging stare of someone who had had everything taken from them, and wanted only for those who had taken it all to stop torturing her with it.

”Please.”

---

As Corporal Firth, Sec and Kato entered through the threshold of the armory, those who were properly equipped to perceive scents would be immediately assaulted with the smoky, ever-present aroma that could be described only as ’somewhere between ‘spiritual’ and ‘herbal’, and just a little bit skunky’. And also some kind of incense. It was the sort of scent that made one giggly and introspective if they inhaled too deeply - but luckily the second hand vaporous fog was mostly situated up on the ceiling, so there wasn’t much to worry about. If one listened very carefully, they might hear the warbling twang of a sitar being played from some distant stereo at just the right level to constitute ‘background sound’ rather than actually listening to music.

The walls were lined with weapons of every shape and size, each carefully locked in place with the proper badge readers, making sure that only someone authorized to access a particular weapon could do so. There was the gate with the window in it that nobody ever really used any more, with the door to the side swung open because they were not in a state of emergency and the armoury did not need to be locked down at present. Every weapon was in immaculate condition, in perfect working order. Nobody would have expected anything less. There were even more guns behind that gate, as well as a myriad of benches and desks and tables and machines all focusing on the maintenance of weaponry in its various forms. Slightly out of place were the uncomfortably large number of empty pizza boxes stacked up around the room, though in places where they were out of the way, at least. And, utterly incongruous and out of place among the dark, ancient steel and myriad death machines, there was Mackie.

Her hair was a mop of blonde dreads, skin lightly but consistently freckled, and a slight, semi-permanent redness about her cheekbones and nose. On the tip of her nose, a pair of sunglasses rested which she always looked over, never through - unconditionally. She was dressed in faded old bootcut jeans that were a little too long and flared at the ragged hems and (the only part of her attire that was actually regulation) battered old combat boots, as well as a baggy, faded tie-dye sweatshirt several sizes too large, with a star and the word ”fonk” printed on the front. From her lips, the crookedly rolled, softly burning source of all that smoke on the ceiling dangled almost as an afterthought.

She sat in a chair beside one of the stations, rather crookedly, tinkering away at a small sidearm which was locked in a vice. She worked carefully and meticulously.

Then, noticing her guests out of the corner of her eye, she set the tools down and spun the chair around to face them with a wide grin on her face. ”My dudes! What is happenin’?” Her voice was husky and a little dry, a drawn-out SoCal drawl hanging on every word.

Mackie stood and sauntered over to the three, the very personification of ’totally chill, yo’ and extended her closed fist to each of them in turn for her customary fist-bump, whether or not they actually reciprocated. ”Robbie my man! I have got somethin’ for you!” She said, in that weird way where she seemed to emphasize every word individually - then snapped and pointed finger-guns at him, and spun around on a heel to swagger back to a bench where she picked up a small weapons case. Bringing it over to him and setting it down to open, the contents were revealed to be a positively magnanimous laser pistol mounted in a black foam mould. The weapon’s sleek, yet hefty body shone in sharp chromium between matte carbon-black sections. ”LRX-99 Special Edition, hand-tooled and configured by yours truly, bruh. That baby there’s like, the grand pubar of high-energy laser pistols. Packs a totally wicked punch. Ten-mil chambers, solid crystion focusing prisms, quad coils, super-rad nanofiber ion emitters, fifty shots per charge and fully charged in a cool and easy ten minutes. Bro this thing is, like, sexual. Seriously. I like, almost wanna’ totally keep it for myself but I know how much my dude likes his heavy lasers.” Again, she held out a fist, and if the fist-bump was reciprocated she would make a little explosion sound and waggle her fingers as she pulled away.

Next was Sec, who she would attempt to fist-bump in the latter half of a sort of ‘up high, down low’ gesture, letting him return her fist-bump with whatever appendage he so chose - if he so chose. ”Seeeec my bodacious bro-bot what’s uuup. Those upgrades for the spring releases on your cannons came in on the shuttle, yo. It’ll bring up your draw speed by, like, eighteen percent at least. Swing by later and I’ll totally hook you up, dig?”

And lastly was Kato, who she would offer her fist-bump to with no less friendly enthusiasm. Mackie was friendly with everyone. Some of the crew might have had an issue with her, but she had an issue with nobody.

Curiously enough, nobody - not even Kato - knew Mackie’s last name. Or first name. Or whether or not Mackie was actually her name at all.

”Kay-tooooo my main metal man! I haven’t seen you in like, forever bruh. What’s happenin’?” And then, just for the briefest moment, a faint, barely discernible shade of sobriety settled over her as she locked eyes with the captain, peering over her sunglasses as usual and idly brushing one thick blonde lock over her shoulder. ”I heard about the attack. Is everyone okay?”

That was one of the other weird things about the Last Light’s paradoxical hippie armourer - for all her absolute love, her soul-deep passion for weapons, munitions, and all things that went zap boom or bang, she didn’t like people getting hurt.