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Roughly twelve persecs, give or take a few megametres.

How many crayons does it take to replace a lightbulb?

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How do I wear a hat?

Eat this apple *Hands you an orange*

How do you wrap bandages around your wrists?

With your teeth

What does it mean to be stuck at home?

Your dog somehow managed to super glue you to the roof.

How many hugs does it take to cheer up Reima?

One
*420 BLAZE IT the burnnnnns*

What do you need to make a painting?

A bucket of blood, a canvas of tanned skin, and a brush made from virgin hair.

What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen potato?

About as fast 17 cows and a couple of nematodes

How do you tie a canoe to the top of a car?

By asking a nearby random, "Canoe hold this rope for me?"

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll centre of a Tootsie Pop?

Why lick it when you can eat in in one bite

How do you play musical STAIRS?

Like king of the hill; just push everyone else down.

How do you write an epic fight between two BAMFs without making it seem stupid?

Easy! Write with mashed potatoes. It would be great AND delicious.

Why should you not get hit by a train?

Obviously, it's because there are better and bloodier ways to die...

How do you get away with murder?

By turning yourself into a squirrel.

How many holes in a polo?

As many as you can make.

How do.you make a backup of a backup without backing up the backup's backup?

By forwarding a forward to a forward while a forward is forwarding a forward's forward.

How do you become the ultimate champion of hide and seek?

By sticking a potato in your ear. It'll be uncomfortable at first, but eventually you will turn invisible. Except for the potato, so as long as you hide that, you're good.

How do you Carl?

By being a Dave.

What makes a star sparkle?

By giving Twilight a book.

Why is there a potato on my desk? Seriously, I went to the latrines, came back, and now potato. I don't know what do.

That's no potato... It's a bomb! Take cover!!!


Why do we wear black at funerals?