Forums » Smalltalk » A lot has happened... (Sad? Ish?)(Also very long)

Hello, my lovelies~


I cannot believe it's been a full month since I've been absent. I was not aware that RPR 2.0 had dropped. In truth, time has sort of melted together. But I must say, kudos Kim, it looks great! Keep being amazing because the new site is wonderful.


But on the topic of time and absence, I honestly did not know how long I had been gone. I left momentarily so that I might focus on the hectic holidays and my finals but... Things happened. I began to face an issue far greater than grades or embarrassing situations my family likes to put me in.

It began not long after I told my RP partners I would be taking a little bit of a break. It started out as a blanketed fog on my mind, like a pressure, or that my brain was literally pressing on the inside of my skull. It didn't concern me too much, as I have a history of migraines and I figured that it might be a new symptom. Then I noticed a loss of peripheral vision when these episodes began. After a few days, it was confusion. It was so severe that I had moments where I didn't even remember my own name. Then my worst fear happened. I began to lose portions of my day to an entire day, and all of this came on so quickly that I began to panic.

I am far too young to experience Alzheimer's, so I knew that wasn't the case. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and she ordered bloodwork to test the functioning of my kidneys as well as my thyroid, as there is a history of issues of both organs in my family. I came in to volunteer my vessels and went on my way. The very next day, I remember so little. I went to my weekly therapy appointment... and that was it. I do not remember what my psychologist and I talked about. I don't even remember the long drive across town to come home. It's all in snippets, a blur, a figment. When I came home my wonderful mother-in-law read my blood pressure and it was 166/111, which is stage 2 hypertension. 180/120 is hypertensive crisis, I believe, and my blood pressure was only rising. I have never had blood pressure issues in my life, so this was unnerving. I was rushed to the ER and waited the rest of the day, where several tests were done for the ER physician to come by my bedside and tell me, "I don't know!" while shrugging his shoulders.


I scheduled to see my PCP the next day, and she stated that my problems were because I was depressed, when I told her several times that I was not. She brought up my misdiagnosed bipolar disorder, which had been proven to be a band-aid by a previous and incompetent psychiatrist. My therapist believes that my symptoms might be exacerbated by my PTSD treatment, but I've been receiving therapy for such for a little under three years. So why would this be happening now? But two out of three of the professionals who have seen me told me to not return to school or work until this is figured out. (I'll let you guess which two.)

But as it is, I have to agree. These medical issues have caused me to black out entire lessons, and I failed all of my classes, which I have never even failed once in my life. I was put on academic probation and I do not know when I will be able to return. I also have no idea when I will be able to RP again, as I can't really formulate coherency. (Don't let this post fool you, it's taking forever to write.)

I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm only wanting to get my problem out there, and maybe make myself feel better. To make it a reality, now that people know.

So, my lovely people (though I suspect a lot of you don't know who I am, since I was new / rarely posted), I bid you farewell. For now.


Deuces

Novus, we didn't get to write together, but I have faith that you'll come back. Sending all my good thoughts to you in the meantime.



(her name is Ariadne)

Thank you, friend. I hope that I will figure out what is causing these episodes so that I might correct it and return to the things I love.

Also, that kitten is adorable.

I hope you get it figured out. Thanks for going to the effort and having the consideration to let people know what's going on, even though it was challenging for you. That sounds serious, and I wish you well, and if you're a virtual hugs sort of person (((hugs))).

I am searching my brain for something that would fit those symptoms, and I'm at a loss too! I'm thinking...what could that be--seizures? Some kind of circulation thing happening? That high BP is scary...hope they have you on a blood pressure medicine and possibly, maybe aspirin, if a doctor recommends it. It sounds like you've been doing research since you know what blood pressure reading is considered a hypertensive crisis --that's reassuring, so I won't blab on and on things I only know from WebMD, since you can look that stuff up too and I'm sure already have! I hope you will be able to keep trying til you find a doctor who knows what's going on and listens to you, Novus. Cheerio.