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2019: Avoid negative people
2020: Avoid positive people

*badumchhh*

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Day 3 without sports: I have discovered a woman on my couch who claims to be my wife. She seems nice.

:D


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Pessimist: The glass of water is half empty.

Optimist: The glass of water is half full.

Roleplayer: I drink the water. What happens?


(You've probably seen it before but gotta love that one.)
"The barman says to Paddy, 'Your glass is empty, fancy another one?' Look'n puzzled Paddy says 'Why would I be needed two empty feckin’ glasses?”
Finnach wrote:
"The barman says to Paddy, 'Your glass is empty, fancy another one?' Look'n puzzled Paddy says 'Why would I be needed two empty feckin’ glasses?”

Hehehe
"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy."

- Fred Allen
Shadow-Ranger wrote:
"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy."

- Fred Allen

Lol. I guess this is why liquor stores are considered essential businesses. XD
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving. Late on Sunday evening, he was found in a tree by a farmer.

“What happened?” said the farmer

Liam replied, “my parachute failed to open!”

“Well!” said the farmer “if you had asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you nothing opens here on a Sunday!”
Jokes I hear every day from my coworker on drivethru:

J: Why couldn't the pirate kids go to the movie?
...it was Arrrg rated!
If a pirate had a favorite fast food restaurant, what would it be?
Probably Aaaarby's!
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Every customer: R?
J: You might think that and maybe I set that up in some way, but it's actually the C. For some reason, they really love it...

J: Would you like a joke book with that? No? That's okay, it probably wouldn't be good anyway. Probably dry, like a cappuccino!

J: What's a chiropractor's favorite kind of music?
Hip-pop!

J: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crummy.

Customers actually laugh at those. O.O
Quilain wrote:
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving. Late on Sunday evening, he was found in a tree by a farmer.

“What happened?” said the farmer

Liam replied, “my parachute failed to open!”

“Well!” said the farmer “if you had asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you nothing opens here on a Sunday!”

Haha!
Murkysoulwaters wrote:
Jokes I hear every day from my coworker on drivethru:

J: Why couldn't the pirate kids go to the movie?
...it was Arrrg rated!
If a pirate had a favorite fast food restaurant, what would it be?
Probably Aaaarby's!
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Every customer: R?
J: You might think that and maybe I set that up in some way, but it's actually the C. For some reason, they really love it...

J: Would you like a joke book with that? No? That's okay, it probably wouldn't be good anyway. Probably dry, like a cappuccino!

J: What's a chiropractor's favorite kind of music?
Hip-pop!

J: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crummy.

Customers actually laugh at those. O.O


Lol! Dad jokes, all the way. He sounds like a fun drive-through operator. 💗
Yesterday, I ate a clock.
It was very time-consuming.

Then... I went back for seconds.

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