I wasn't going to post a thread like that, but when I thought about it, I decided that this thread could help anyone that is going through these stuff. Speaking about them shouldn't be condemned and sharing to help relieve the stress should be encouraged.
About me:
Dealing with panic disorder for 13 years. In the beginning, it was really severe and I suffered from huge derealization (that made me think a lot about death. Not in a way to kill myself, though it had crossed my mind, but what happens after that. It also made me think about existence itself and a lot of philosophical topics). That was agonizing, I wasn't able to go out of my home for almost an entire year. My days were pure torture, I wasn't able to sleep, eat, have fun, I was in constant dread, cried everyday, couple of times a day, and suffered a lot of panic attacks. My concerns weren't about dying, I was scared that I was losing my mind (I guess due to the derealization). Thank God for my psychiatrist. I was prescribed meds and after a couple of months with a huge work from myself, I was able to slowly start to get better. Now, after so many years, I've got my life together, I can handle any panic attacks better and most of the time no one can see if I'm going through something terrible in my mind.
Due to the derealization and the thoughts in my head, life got pretty meaningless to me. As if what I do here doesn't matter, I don't matter, none of this matter. Love, family, friends, sadness, fear, none of this has any meaning. I know it's not like this, there are things that matter and I have to keep reminding myself that. It's just most of the time it feels like it doesn't.
Severe depression: I've always had depression, but a couple of months after my panic disorder, my depression got worse. Sadly, life gave me some bad stuff and the depression isn't getting any better.
Multiple Sclerosis: Waiting to be diagnosed, happened a year ago. Currently, I'm healthy. I had an episode of optic neuritis and the vision in one of my eyes is permanently damaged. I can see with that eye, but the nerve inside the head is permanently damaged, so the vision there isn't good. However, the other eye can make up for the partial vision loss and it doesn't bother me most of the time. My work depends on my visual skills, so I'm doing it as good as before, I just need more rests for the eyes.
It's hard to get diagnosed with MS, but I've been through one of the best MS experts in my country. They can't be 100% sure, but everything points to MS (I had an MRI and I have lesions). What I should do now is to get MRI every six months and expect more severe symptoms of MS in five to ten years. It might happen in an hour, tomorrow or in 7 years, but it will most likely happen.
Sadly, I often deal with everything with bad habits that I can't get rid of but, at this point, I don't think I want to.
I hope that this thread can answer your questions, help you in any way and make you see that you aren't alone. There are many people like you out there, dealing with life and getting through life like everybody else.
Cheers and take it easy, guys!
https://youtu.be/zHh4t38f9AM
About me:
Dealing with panic disorder for 13 years. In the beginning, it was really severe and I suffered from huge derealization (that made me think a lot about death. Not in a way to kill myself, though it had crossed my mind, but what happens after that. It also made me think about existence itself and a lot of philosophical topics). That was agonizing, I wasn't able to go out of my home for almost an entire year. My days were pure torture, I wasn't able to sleep, eat, have fun, I was in constant dread, cried everyday, couple of times a day, and suffered a lot of panic attacks. My concerns weren't about dying, I was scared that I was losing my mind (I guess due to the derealization). Thank God for my psychiatrist. I was prescribed meds and after a couple of months with a huge work from myself, I was able to slowly start to get better. Now, after so many years, I've got my life together, I can handle any panic attacks better and most of the time no one can see if I'm going through something terrible in my mind.
Due to the derealization and the thoughts in my head, life got pretty meaningless to me. As if what I do here doesn't matter, I don't matter, none of this matter. Love, family, friends, sadness, fear, none of this has any meaning. I know it's not like this, there are things that matter and I have to keep reminding myself that. It's just most of the time it feels like it doesn't.
Severe depression: I've always had depression, but a couple of months after my panic disorder, my depression got worse. Sadly, life gave me some bad stuff and the depression isn't getting any better.
Multiple Sclerosis: Waiting to be diagnosed, happened a year ago. Currently, I'm healthy. I had an episode of optic neuritis and the vision in one of my eyes is permanently damaged. I can see with that eye, but the nerve inside the head is permanently damaged, so the vision there isn't good. However, the other eye can make up for the partial vision loss and it doesn't bother me most of the time. My work depends on my visual skills, so I'm doing it as good as before, I just need more rests for the eyes.
It's hard to get diagnosed with MS, but I've been through one of the best MS experts in my country. They can't be 100% sure, but everything points to MS (I had an MRI and I have lesions). What I should do now is to get MRI every six months and expect more severe symptoms of MS in five to ten years. It might happen in an hour, tomorrow or in 7 years, but it will most likely happen.
Sadly, I often deal with everything with bad habits that I can't get rid of but, at this point, I don't think I want to.
I hope that this thread can answer your questions, help you in any way and make you see that you aren't alone. There are many people like you out there, dealing with life and getting through life like everybody else.
Cheers and take it easy, guys!
https://youtu.be/zHh4t38f9AM
First of all, that is a lot to be living with, so kudos to you for enduring despite your obstacles! I have panic disorder and bipolar depression, so I empathize a lot with what you've been through.
For your MS, how did your care team come about that explanation? Was it something the doctors put forth as a possibility, or did you raise the concern yourself after research?
Best of luck to you!
For your MS, how did your care team come about that explanation? Was it something the doctors put forth as a possibility, or did you raise the concern yourself after research?
Best of luck to you!
Auberon wrote:
First of all, that is a lot to be living with, so kudos to you for enduring despite your obstacles! I have panic disorder and bipolar depression, so I empathize a lot with what you've been through.
For your MS, how did your care team come about that explanation? Was it something the doctors put forth as a possibility, or did you raise the concern yourself after research?
Best of luck to you!
For your MS, how did your care team come about that explanation? Was it something the doctors put forth as a possibility, or did you raise the concern yourself after research?
Best of luck to you!
Thank you, that's life and there's no other way but to endure. Best of luck to you too.
As for the MS, I went to an ophthalmologist for the bad vision in my eye. From there, when he realized it must be optic neuritis and my eye was good, the optic nerve in the head is damaged, referred me to a neurologist. I was like "what the f-? I came with a vision problem, why would be I referred to a neurologist?". They didn't want to tell me, but I convinced them to tell me and the doc said it might be MS.
I visited an MS specialist, went through a physical check (I'm physically fine, no problems) and then I went to an MRI. In the results they found three lesions in my brain, one being at the optic nerve.
When I went to check with my MS doctor, she told me that it's most likely MS and that I'll get other symptoms sooner or later.
The other MS specialist told me the same. They need more symptoms to officially diagnose me, so in short - we're waiting.
I forgot, but I think there's an 85% chance of the optic neuritis being MS symptom. However, I still have no other symptoms, but the MS specialist is convinced this is an early stage of MS.
This is a long story short.
So now I wait
Thank-you for sharing.
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