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Forums » Smalltalk » Why do people do this?

Jeez. Cant believe I'm going on a rant here, but I need to get this off my chest.

You know when you try to start/play an rp, and suddenly the other player ghosts? Months go by, and you begin to wonder what had happened? You message once every week to month, trying to reach them and see if they are doing well? You begin to get tired, and move on? But, after half a year, they reappear on the site? You shoot them a message, asking if they're okay, and then wait? You get no response for aweek, and when you try and ask again, you get that dreaded red bar at the top that says "(this account/character's name) has blocked you." That kind of ticks me off.
This is next part directed to those people in question: You could at least give a simple explanation as to why you disappeared, or better yet, why you blocked so quickly after returning? You know, the whole common human decency thing? But nope, immediate block after an old partner checked up on you? Come on, be better, and at least let a person know why you blocked them.

And now i have a feeling someone is going to attack me over this. Anyway, this is just me speaking my mind.
Probably blocked you because they were uncomfortable and didn't want to deal with the hassle. To me, getting messages every week for a month seems like a bit much, especially if it was clear that the RP had froze up a month before. Should the other party have let you know they were no longer interested in continuing the RP, or gave you a word as to why they stepped back from the site? Yes, it would be a polite thing to do, but they may have been too uncomfortable to do that, or feared a backlash if they did. Ghosting happens, and it is best to move on if they don't respond to one OOC message asking if they are alright and/or if they are still interested in continuing an RP. That's my philosophy on it anyway. I'm not "attacking" you, just giving my 2¢ on this common situation.

Edit: You shouldnt be naming people. That is bad form and clearly against site rules.
This kind of aggression is why people block and ghost. I wouldn't want to have someone speak about me in this way. Be mature about it, if someone ghosts you, move on. There's a million and one potential partners out there. Zero reason to go berserk.

EDIT: And threads like this are just going to severely increase the chances of people not responding to you or blocking you in the future. It's a giant red flag of "if you do something I don't like, I will publicly shame you." I don't really recommend it.
LcdrWolffe Topic Starter

I get it guys, I messed up. But this is literally the first time I've ever gotten this angry on this site. So for the love of everything that is good in the world, stop shaming me and grinding my face into the dirt like I'm some sort of common insect. I've already lost one good partner because of this.
LcdrWolffe Topic Starter

Sometimes, I just wanna retire this account and start over, turn over a new leaf on this site and start fresh. But, since that would be against TOS, I cant exactly do that. QwQ
Nehugigas (played by Churchtuary)

People really don't owe you anything, really. I understand if you might feel worried about them, but if they had no intimate conversations with you or any semblance of friendship, if they were just a passing interest for a roleplay, why did you even bother them? If they're online on the site and you've sent more than one message to them, they clearly don't want to address you. And they don't owe you any explanation or anything. They can ignore, ghost or block you for whatever reason they seem fit.

And, frankly? I've been on the receiving end, multiple times, of obsessive partners that message me over and over again on the courses of months. 'Lemme tell they become joke material, mind you. So it's best that, for you more than them, at this point, to leave that person alone.

Sacrilege wrote:
This kind of aggression is why people block and ghost. I wouldn't want to have someone speak about me in this way. Be mature about it, if someone ghosts you, move on. There's a million and one potential partners out there. Zero reason to go berserk.

EDIT: And threads like this are just going to severely increase the chances of people not responding to you or blocking you in the future. It's a giant red flag of "if you do something I don't like, I will publicly shame you." I don't really recommend it.
ohi.gif
Look chief, I hate to break it to you, but in life, not everyone's always gonna be your best friend, and leaving how 'justified' it was of the other person to block you out of the picture (because that's really between you and them), it's something that prolly happens to everyone once in an online lifetime.

Only thing that's gonna help you here if adhere to the lovely rule of 'live and let live'; instead of ranting, go search for a new partner, there's plenty of fish in the sea. Of course that sounds easier than it is, but I can tell you from experience that it's best to take everyone's advise here and forget about it, unless you wanna get into beef and drama up to your chin.

And, y'know, while at it, it might just help to not bark at the folks who are trying to give you some words of wisdom. Anger is a b-word to your reputation, my dude- use all the energy you're putting into raging at unrelated people into something good 'n fun instead, it'll be worth it.

I mean, I've never had the balls to block anyone, even if they were being madly manipulative, bigoted or spam'y, I know people who are like that too; however, that doesn't mean it's not a legit feature that members aren't allowed to use. See it as a way of avoiding any real conflict between the two of you; even if it's a wack that you never got an explanation, said explanation probably isn't gonna make you any happier. This thread isn't gonna change anything for the better, seriously.
LcdrWolffe Topic Starter

I understand where everyone was coming from. But i was tired, and was blocked by several old friends for trying to reignite embers, and by another after following their directions in trying to get their attention
Never an excuse for a hate thread. I've had all kinds of people be actually terrible and have far worse actions than just ghosting me, but I never went on a public war path to try and drag their name through the dirt. It's childish and disrespectful to both yourself and that person.
Churchtuary wrote:
And, frankly? I've been on the receiving end, multiple times, of obsessive partners that message me over and over again on the courses of months. 'Lemme tell they become joke material, mind you. So it's best that, for you more than them, at this point, to leave that person alone.

hi crunch
chorch pls
chonchilla?? dragon??
Eh, blocking pretty much means that they're not looking to get their attention grabbed by you, or technically disabled themselves from doing so (yeah, you can make it so that the posts of the people you blocked are turned invisible). You're never gonna change their mind, definitely not like this, if anything, it's gonna make it worse and make you look worse in front of the people who haven't blocked you.
LcdrWolffe Topic Starter

Understood. I'll try anand do better.
Cass Moderator

Hi friends. :)

I am going to lock this thread. The overall messaging here isn't within our guidelines. First and foremost, please don't put up rant posts like these to tarnish other people. It's unkind and goes against our 'be nice' rule.
Quote:
I get it guys, I messed up. But this is literally the first time I've ever gotten this angry on this site. So for the love of everything that is good in the world, stop shaming me and grinding my face into the dirt like I'm some sort of common insect. I've already lost one good partner because of this.

I believe people are holding you accountable to your actions. Which may seem like you're being ganged-up on!
Quote:
Sometimes, I just wanna retire this account and start over, turn over a new leaf on this site and start fresh. But, since that would be against TOS, I cant exactly do that. QwQ

I'm glad you understand that this would be against TOS. :) Sometimes we have to own-up to our mistakes (as you have done) and learn from them and do better next time. I know you can do it!

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