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There are some people in my life who simply can't understand why do I love role playing and why I feel satisfied while writing. They just don't understand what it actually means. They think writing is no fun.

I have told them all I could in order to explain my reasons but there's no point.

Could you please tell me what writing gives you? Why do you like it and how would you response to ones who think role playing isn't entertaining.
Rogue-Scribe

I learned a long time ago not to give two shits what others think of my hobbies, so yeah there is no point. The only one that matters to me on what they think is my dear wife, and she enjoys RP as much as I.

As for why I write.... it is a creative release, and when you find co-writers that you mesh with and the stories being written are epic, there is such a joy to it! It is quite fun building tales with others, and it is something that you just can’t explain to people who ‘don’t get it’.

When it does come up, I say “It is something that I enjoy and like to spend my free time doing. What do you spend your free time doing?”
LotusFlower Topic Starter

Dunedain-Ranger wrote:
I learned a long time ago not to give two shits what others think of my hobbies, so yeah there is no point. The only one that matters to me on what they think is my dear wife, and she enjoys RP as much as I.

As for why I write.... it is a creative release, and when you find co-writers that you mesh with and the stories being written are epic, there is such a joy to it! It is quite fun building tales with others, and it is something that you just can’t explain to people who ‘don’t get it’.

When it does come up, I say “It is something that I enjoy and like to spend my free time doing. What do you spend your free time doing?”

Yeah, you've a point.
Hades_

Hi Lotus!

I'm sorry your friends don't seem to be understanding you and your hobby and fun. It can definitely be difficult, but I can at least say I've had a few friends who didn't understand why I enjoyed it, but they never really made a fuss about it.

What I enjoy most about roleplaying is the friends I make with other writers, the story behind characters, and character creation. This same idea comes from peoples love for video games, books, and table top board games. It's a fun that involves a good deal of our imagination and personal skills. Perhaps try and compare your love for roleplaying to something they enjoy like reading a book, video games, or even about watching youtubers and drama channels on youtube. There's a story there and it gets you thinking, emotionally invested, and helps pass time!

Roleplaying also offers a way of escapism, or rather it helps people relax and forget their troubles by giving them something else to focus on and make the rest of the world seem like it doesn't exist. This can be true for a very large part of the community, myself included in that.

Some people simply love to write for the sake of writing or even becoming published authors.

I have even met someone who used roleplaying as a means of bettering her understanding of the English language since her first language was Cantonese.

You can also say that not everyone enjoys the same kinds of hobbies. If there is something that they enjoy but you don't hold that same enjoyment as they do you can compare their love for that thing to your love for roleplaying.

Roleplaying certainly isn't for everyone, and that's okay. They don't even have to understand, though I know it can be frustrating for you because you want to share and help them understand. So long as your friends are respecting you and not making fun of you for your love of roleplaying then it should all be okay. :)
LotusFlower Topic Starter

Hadeslicious wrote:
Hi Lotus!

I'm sorry your friends don't seem to be understanding you and your hobby and fun. It can definitely be difficult, but I can at least say I've had a few friends who didn't understand why I enjoyed it, but they never really made a fuss about it.

What I enjoy most about roleplaying is the friends I make with other writers, the story behind characters, and character creation. This same idea comes from peoples love for video games, books, and table top board games. It's a fun that involves a good deal of our imagination and personal skills. Perhaps try and compare your love for roleplaying to something they enjoy like reading a book, video games, or even about watching youtubers and drama channels on youtube. There's a story there and it gets you thinking, emotionally invested, and helps pass time!

Roleplaying also offers a way of escapism, or rather it helps people relax and forget their troubles by giving them something else to focus on and make the rest of the world seem like it doesn't exist. This can be true for a very large part of the community, myself included in that.

Some people simply love to write for the sake of writing or even becoming published authors.

I have even met someone who used roleplaying as a means of bettering her understanding of the English language since her first language was Cantonese.

You can also say that not everyone enjoys the same kinds of hobbies. If there is something that they enjoy but you don't hold that same enjoyment as they do you can compare their love for that thing to your love for roleplaying.

Roleplaying certainly isn't for everyone, and that's okay. They don't even have to understand, though I know it can be frustrating for you because you want to share and help them understand. So long as your friends are respecting you and not making fun of you for your love of roleplaying then it should all be okay. :)

They think I'm spending my whole time role playing(in reality I barely have much free time to rp) which turns me unsocial or something. I'm never unsocial. I always interact with them and hang out when able. But when I'm at home I usually watch movies and give replies. I'm at home for a whole day once a week and I don't think it's bad idea to spend one day on my own, alone at home and do whatever I wish.
Hades_

It sounds like your friends aren't really understanding the concept of "personal time" along with your roleplaying. Contrary to their belief, you're doing a lot of socializing even when you're working on those replies. You're in a community where you interact with other people, and for you personally you may not interact as closely as you may with your friends where you live, you're still doing some socializing.

I think it's something your friends are going to have to simply deal with on your own since you're doing what makes you happy. We all need down time and space away from people now and then. Roleplaying is that escape while also maintaining a balance of social behaviours as well.

I'm sorry your friends are giving you such a hard time. Don't let them pressure you into doing things differently. Personal down time is extremely important, most especially to people who enjoy time to themselves and need to recharge by being by one self so that you can further enjoy the time you have with other people. Your friends may not be able to understand that, so you may need to put your foot down and say something like "I appreciate your concerns, but this is what makes me happy. I am happy hanging out with all of you too, but I need time to enjoy my own personal space and hobbies just as much as people need to sleep, eat, and drink water. It is part a part of my life that I enjoy. Just because you do not understand it does not mean it is wrong or has a negative influence on my quality of life. While you may not understand that it helps improve my quality of life, I know that it is doing something good for my mental and emotional health. Please respect my needs and desires just as I respect yours."

And you are right! You absolutely deserve to have time to yourself and do whatever you wish, most especially things that are not harmful and are even helpful to you.
LotusFlower Topic Starter

Hadeslicious wrote:
It sounds like your friends aren't really understanding the concept of "personal time" along with your roleplaying. Contrary to their belief, you're doing a lot of socializing even when you're working on those replies. You're in a community where you interact with other people, and for you personally you may not interact as closely as you may with your friends where you live, you're still doing some socializing.

I think it's something your friends are going to have to simply deal with on your own since you're doing what makes you happy. We all need down time and space away from people now and then. Roleplaying is that escape while also maintaining a balance of social behaviours as well.

I'm sorry your friends are giving you such a hard time. Don't let them pressure you into doing things differently. Personal down time is extremely important, most especially to people who enjoy time to themselves and need to recharge by being by one self so that you can further enjoy the time you have with other people. Your friends may not be able to understand that, so you may need to put your foot down and say something like "I appreciate your concerns, but this is what makes me happy. I am happy hanging out with all of you too, but I need time to enjoy my own personal space and hobbies just as much as people need to sleep, eat, and drink water. It is part a part of my life that I enjoy. Just because you do not understand it does not mean it is wrong or has a negative influence on my quality of life. While you may not understand that it helps improve my quality of life, I know that it is doing something good for my mental and emotional health. Please respect my needs and desires just as I respect yours."

And you are right! You absolutely deserve to have time to yourself and do whatever you wish, most especially things that are not harmful and are even helpful to you.


Thank you Nile, that was really helpful. I will totally keep your advice in mind. <3
Hey Lotus! I'm new to role-playing itself, and I'm not into gaming at all, and I have been reflecting a lot about what makes it that I like writing in here so much. Here's a few of the thoughts and conclusions I've reached for myself. Some of that may apply to you as well, or not.

1. When I read fiction, watching movies, etc., it's passive. Depending on the quality, I would get immersed into it or not. I have been reading fanfiction in a universe I liked (aka Potterverse) since over 12 years ago, and this is because I like to see characters change and evolve or being confronted with new circumstances. Role-playing is creative, it's co-creating the fiction you love with someone else, it allows you to express yourself and also nurtures your imagination more because you take a more active role. When I discovered it, it's like a new world of possibilities opened up for me.

2. When you write for roleplay, you can "test" ideas and characters, and see if they really work well or not. This is good for improving your writing (and I have seen my own improve hugely over the last few months) and also for exploring new ideas and concepts in general. You have almost instant feedback because you can see the other writers' replies and comments. Also, I find that plotting OOC increases my creativity and my fun.

3. Which brings me to the idea of play. Play is an essential activity for children, it's how they learn about themselves and about the world. We lose that as adults and this dulls our imagination with mundane chitchat. Being "social" talking about the weather or house decorations IRL doesn't inspire or feel meaningful to me. But some people IRL are too shy or too aware of the consequences of giving away information about themselves, which in a lot of cases turns about being used against them. If we are adults and working, most of the time is spent with co-workers and professional relationships, and I'm not against creating closer bonds with some of them, but I found from experience that it was really dangerous.

4. Through role-play, you explore the world. By researching various things to build your characters, by meeting people who are like-minded but live elsewhere and who can point you to new books, places, music, things, that you greatly enjoy but would have never known because it's so far outside of your own culture. Also, this helps us get out of our own bubbles and increases our compassion and open-mindedness.

5. Something which is personal to me, but very dear, is creating and exploring archetypal characters. I am still building them, and adding to them, and thinking what would make them whole, and this allows me to know myself better and grow as a person. Other people may want to explore how they would react in new circumstances.

6. Exercising your imagination really increases it, much like a muscle. Also, being so inspired to write I also started to feel inspired to create other things, design, play with graphics, and I have learned a lot in a very short period of time, which I could have learned on my own, maybe or maybe not. Play is getting you a new motivation to learn and grow.

7. Finally, the fact that it simply makes you happy should be a reason on its own. It doesn't mean that you abandon your real life family and friends, however. But sometimes, you need time and space for yourself, and that's normal, and they probably have their own activities that they enjoy too. Would anyone dare to tell a grandparent that gardening by themselves all day is not good? Or someone else that painting closed off in a room is wrong? Or tinkering in the garage? Of course not.

Hope that helps! <3
LotusFlower Topic Starter

DorianM wrote:
Hey Lotus! I'm new to role-playing itself, and I'm not into gaming at all, and I have been reflecting a lot about what makes it that I like writing in here so much. Here's a few of the thoughts and conclusions I've reached for myself. Some of that may apply to you as well, or not.

1. When I read fiction, watching movies, etc., it's passive. Depending on the quality, I would get immersed into it or not. I have been reading fanfiction in a universe I liked (aka Potterverse) since over 12 years ago, and this is because I like to see characters change and evolve or being confronted with new circumstances. Role-playing is creative, it's co-creating the fiction you love with someone else, it allows you to express yourself and also nurtures your imagination more because you take a more active role. When I discovered it, it's like a new world of possibilities opened up for me.

2. When you write for roleplay, you can "test" ideas and characters, and see if they really work well or not. This is good for improving your writing (and I have seen my own improve hugely over the last few months) and also for exploring new ideas and concepts in general. You have almost instant feedback because you can see the other writers' replies and comments. Also, I find that plotting OOC increases my creativity and my fun.

3. Which brings me to the idea of play. Play is an essential activity for children, it's how they learn about themselves and about the world. We lose that as adults and this dulls our imagination with mundane chitchat. Being "social" talking about the weather or house decorations IRL doesn't inspire or feel meaningful to me. But some people IRL are too shy or too aware of the consequences of giving away information about themselves, which in a lot of cases turns about being used against them. If we are adults and working, most of the time is spent with co-workers and professional relationships, and I'm not against creating closer bonds with some of them, but I found from experience that it was really dangerous.

4. Through role-play, you explore the world. By researching various things to build your characters, by meeting people who are like-minded but live elsewhere and who can point you to new books, places, music, things, that you greatly enjoy but would have never known because it's so far outside of your own culture. Also, this helps us get out of our own bubbles and increases our compassion and open-mindedness.

5. Something which is personal to me, but very dear, is creating and exploring archetypal characters. I am still building them, and adding to them, and thinking what would make them whole, and this allows me to know myself better and grow as a person. Other people may want to explore how they would react in new circumstances.

6. Exercising your imagination really increases it, much like a muscle. Also, being so inspired to write I also started to feel inspired to create other things, design, play with graphics, and I have learned a lot in a very short period of time, which I could have learned on my own, maybe or maybe not. Play is getting you a new motivation to learn and grow.

7. Finally, the fact that it simply makes you happy should be a reason on its own. It doesn't mean that you abandon your real life family and friends, however. But sometimes, you need time and space for yourself, and that's normal, and they probably have their own activities that they enjoy too. Would anyone dare to tell a grandparent that gardening by themselves all day is not good? Or someone else that painting closed off in a room is wrong? Or tinkering in the garage? Of course not.

Hope that helps! <3

Lovely, helpful and smart as always. Thank you Dorian. <3
RimCaster

I would said something about said issues although they were pretty much covered by people above and even articulated in better way.

Well what can I say,
if you think it's right and doesn't hurt other people go for it, that relates to every hobby or passion you've. No more no less to add.
If someone ridicules your hobby then I guess they weren't worth in first place(I can be wrong of course, I don't try to deny it)
But for me hobby or thing you enjoy to do is part of you as are your strengths and weaknesses, Either someone likes you or not, no palliatives in that case.

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