Okay, so I'm kind of in that little rut between the end of highschool, the the beginning of what I'm going to be. I have decent high school grades, mostly A's or B's with a few lower grades.
I want to choose a college that has the major I am going for, and I have found several. However, I'm a little nervous, because I have really really bad social anxiety. I CANNOT introduce myself without screwing up, and I'm afraid I'm going to be labeled by my fellow peers...
I am seeing a guidance counselor about my issues, and am doing much better, but I'm still needing some measurement.
For those of you who have already gone through college, or those of you currently in college, could you give me a few pointers, it would make me feel a little better.
Thank you...
I want to choose a college that has the major I am going for, and I have found several. However, I'm a little nervous, because I have really really bad social anxiety. I CANNOT introduce myself without screwing up, and I'm afraid I'm going to be labeled by my fellow peers...
I am seeing a guidance counselor about my issues, and am doing much better, but I'm still needing some measurement.
For those of you who have already gone through college, or those of you currently in college, could you give me a few pointers, it would make me feel a little better.
Thank you...
The way that I found my college friendgroup was by making a Facebook page for a shared interest (Dungeons and Dragons). Talking to people online before meeting them made it easier to interact with them. So maybe try checking out Facebook for like, "Knitting at UMD" or "Harvard Bicyclists" or what-have-you 
Similarly, shooting professors an email before the first class might help alleviate the anxiety--it will also probably pleasantly surprise them. All professors are there to teach you, and will have office hours in which you can go get 1x1 help if you need it. And don't forget about your TAs, if the class has any! They will have office hours too, or at least be contactable by email.
Similarly, shooting professors an email before the first class might help alleviate the anxiety--it will also probably pleasantly surprise them. All professors are there to teach you, and will have office hours in which you can go get 1x1 help if you need it. And don't forget about your TAs, if the class has any! They will have office hours too, or at least be contactable by email.
Usually colleges and universities have a part of the administration (it's called student accessibility services at mine, idk) that's dedicated to helping you along. So, if you need extra time to do tests or would rather write them in a different room alone because of your anxiety, they could probably set that up. It can help alleviate some of the general stress associated with school.
As for being judged, I wouldn't worry about it. Campuses are so huge and you see so many strangers every day that it's unlikely anyone will zero in on you. Everyone's distracted and busy. Last month I fell down an entire flight of stairs and nobody even noticed, lmao.
As for being judged, I wouldn't worry about it. Campuses are so huge and you see so many strangers every day that it's unlikely anyone will zero in on you. Everyone's distracted and busy. Last month I fell down an entire flight of stairs and nobody even noticed, lmao.
Hi! I'm recently in college and going through thesis work. On my first day, I did indeed feel nervous and worried that I might mess up and make a fool out of myself. I was shy and timid.
I had a very soft voice, but it's normal to feel that way. That's why whatever happens, all you have to do is focus on your goal. The reason why you went to that certain university, and grab any opportunity or take risks. Don't make something so simple destroy that, and don't worry too much about meeting new people. They might talk to you first or if ever you need to introduce yourself, just do it. Don't hesitate. And always remember that you're not alone because some of the people that you'll soon meet might even be worried about that themselves.
I'll support you!
I had a very soft voice, but it's normal to feel that way. That's why whatever happens, all you have to do is focus on your goal. The reason why you went to that certain university, and grab any opportunity or take risks. Don't make something so simple destroy that, and don't worry too much about meeting new people. They might talk to you first or if ever you need to introduce yourself, just do it. Don't hesitate. And always remember that you're not alone because some of the people that you'll soon meet might even be worried about that themselves.
I'll support you!
In my college experience, the only time you will ever need to introduce yourself to anyone is the first few days of class. Depending on the class, you may never socialize with your fellow students again. This is normal procedure. Most students are more focused on their own ability to perform tasks than what they think of others. It is very different than high school in that regard. High school is not an education that you must pay for; I believe this is one of the key factors in this difference. Only one of my current teachers attempts to involve everyone in discussions, and even then, there are some students that have rarely ever spoken a single word in class. This is not good or bad; this is merely an observation.
I am one of those students. I sit at my own table, using my class time to discreetly finish assignments for other classes. But I do so in time to the discussions to make it appear that I am taking notes and I sit alone. Most classrooms are large enough for you to sit by yourself, unless they are the mandatory classes that everyone must take. If you struggled through high school and its social challenges, then I believe you will be very relieved in a college setting. Schoolwork becomes the priority and your grades reflect that you already possess this focus. I believe you are an excellent college candidate.
I am one of those students. I sit at my own table, using my class time to discreetly finish assignments for other classes. But I do so in time to the discussions to make it appear that I am taking notes and I sit alone. Most classrooms are large enough for you to sit by yourself, unless they are the mandatory classes that everyone must take. If you struggled through high school and its social challenges, then I believe you will be very relieved in a college setting. Schoolwork becomes the priority and your grades reflect that you already possess this focus. I believe you are an excellent college candidate.
If you are able, find an extrovert who shares some of your interests, and strike up a friendship with them! They will make other friends and suddenly you will have MANY FRIENDS without significant effort or social risk. I lucked out in that my extrovert was my freshman roommate, and hopefully you can make friends with your own roommate. But if not, see if you can find someone in classes or a hobby group!
As for being labeled by your peers, that's not as big a thing in college as it is in high school! I went to a very small college, and even there where you quickly learned names and faces because there weren't so many, everyone else was so invested in finding out who they were that they didn't care who I was. Other people just aren't the focus for most people there.
As for being labeled by your peers, that's not as big a thing in college as it is in high school! I went to a very small college, and even there where you quickly learned names and faces because there weren't so many, everyone else was so invested in finding out who they were that they didn't care who I was. Other people just aren't the focus for most people there.
At my uni, I see a counsellor on a weekly basis and I've attended free mental health/wellness groups (meditation, cognitive behavioural therapy, etc) which have helped me immensely. So in the case that you can't continue to see your guidance counsellor once you take the transition to college, find out if something similar is offered at your college.
I also have acessibility services at my uni, as Yersinia mentioned. We call it "Academic Accommodation". I'm registered with the AA office and because of my anxiety I get:
-25% extra time on tests/exams
-15min break every hour during tests/exams
-I get to write tests/exams in a separate room from the rest of my class
-I can ask for extensions on assignments
The transition from hs to college can be overwhelming so it helps to have information about services available beforehand!
Misc. info:
If you have a roommate it's ok to not make friends with them. You aren't there to be their friend, so don't feel like you need to force anything. I'm living with 5 other people right now who I never met before move-in day and we say hi to each other but don't talk much otherwise.
In college where there are lots of people, there's a lot less judgement going on because people are more accepting of the fact that there are lots of different types of people. You won't be judged if you prefer to sit alone. Especially in large classes- in my first year engineering courses there were enough students to fill a Cineplex theatre (we literally had calculus and linear algebra lectures in a movie theatre in a nearby mall), and in cases like that it's easy to melt into the crowd.
Depending on your program you might have to do group projects, but communicating via facebook group chat or whatsapp makes it easier to talk to people than it would be if you did it face-to-face.
If it helps, think of it this way: Everyone's the main character in their own lives, and you're an NPC. They're more concerned about themselves than you (:
I also have acessibility services at my uni, as Yersinia mentioned. We call it "Academic Accommodation". I'm registered with the AA office and because of my anxiety I get:
-25% extra time on tests/exams
-15min break every hour during tests/exams
-I get to write tests/exams in a separate room from the rest of my class
-I can ask for extensions on assignments
The transition from hs to college can be overwhelming so it helps to have information about services available beforehand!
Misc. info:
If you have a roommate it's ok to not make friends with them. You aren't there to be their friend, so don't feel like you need to force anything. I'm living with 5 other people right now who I never met before move-in day and we say hi to each other but don't talk much otherwise.
In college where there are lots of people, there's a lot less judgement going on because people are more accepting of the fact that there are lots of different types of people. You won't be judged if you prefer to sit alone. Especially in large classes- in my first year engineering courses there were enough students to fill a Cineplex theatre (we literally had calculus and linear algebra lectures in a movie theatre in a nearby mall), and in cases like that it's easy to melt into the crowd.
Depending on your program you might have to do group projects, but communicating via facebook group chat or whatsapp makes it easier to talk to people than it would be if you did it face-to-face.
If it helps, think of it this way: Everyone's the main character in their own lives, and you're an NPC. They're more concerned about themselves than you (:
Hold on, let me get this straight. You've found some good colleges which have exactly what you're looking for and your problem is.. introducing yourself?
A lot of the posts here haven't really tackled your issue and seem to be merely avoiding it or finding ways to make it easier. What I'm sure you want to do is get rid of your social anxiety or at least reduce it to a point where you can start to relax or have some sort of fun. This will not happen if you simply find a group of like-minded individuals or people who share some sort of anxiety. Your friends and the people you hang around with, define you. What you should do is push yourself out of your comfort zone gradually so that you can at least take some form of action towards ridding your social anxiety.
You're at a stage in life where your education is important. However if social anxiety is a problem for you right now, unless you fix it at this stage, it will only increase into worse and worse situations.
I've moved to many different countries and had to join three different colleges/universities. In all scenarios, I didn't know a single person. I had to physically walk up to people and start conversations with them. Eventually it led somewhere.
That's genuinely the only way to rid this issue. If I'm being fully honest here, anxiety, and I mean, real anxiety is actually much rarer than you think. People nowadays are just so used to having everything so easy that any sort of resistance appears to be some form of a mental issue.
"I struggle to talk to strangers and therefore I have severe social anxiety."
And yet you find that those individuals have rarely attempted to tackle the issue.
The solution you're looking for is to take these difficult situations head on rather than trying to avoid them. If you find it difficult to find friends or talk to strangers. Just look for someone by themselves or someone eating alone then ask to join them. It's a win-win situation for you; if they say yes, you've immediately got yourself a new friend.
If they say no, you've managed to talk to a complete stranger which automatically defeats the social anxiety, which directly proves that you can do it again.
You win either way.
A lot of the posts here haven't really tackled your issue and seem to be merely avoiding it or finding ways to make it easier. What I'm sure you want to do is get rid of your social anxiety or at least reduce it to a point where you can start to relax or have some sort of fun. This will not happen if you simply find a group of like-minded individuals or people who share some sort of anxiety. Your friends and the people you hang around with, define you. What you should do is push yourself out of your comfort zone gradually so that you can at least take some form of action towards ridding your social anxiety.
You're at a stage in life where your education is important. However if social anxiety is a problem for you right now, unless you fix it at this stage, it will only increase into worse and worse situations.
I've moved to many different countries and had to join three different colleges/universities. In all scenarios, I didn't know a single person. I had to physically walk up to people and start conversations with them. Eventually it led somewhere.
That's genuinely the only way to rid this issue. If I'm being fully honest here, anxiety, and I mean, real anxiety is actually much rarer than you think. People nowadays are just so used to having everything so easy that any sort of resistance appears to be some form of a mental issue.
"I struggle to talk to strangers and therefore I have severe social anxiety."
And yet you find that those individuals have rarely attempted to tackle the issue.
The solution you're looking for is to take these difficult situations head on rather than trying to avoid them. If you find it difficult to find friends or talk to strangers. Just look for someone by themselves or someone eating alone then ask to join them. It's a win-win situation for you; if they say yes, you've immediately got yourself a new friend.
If they say no, you've managed to talk to a complete stranger which automatically defeats the social anxiety, which directly proves that you can do it again.
You win either way.
I don't know... I used to eat my lunches in the uni's cafeteria loo... or just go off campus. Then, one day, I stopped caring (I have a horrible phobia of people seeing me eat).
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