Not looking for pity!! just figured some people might find it useful to talk about what recovery really looks like. When I was in the middle of it, I’d read posts like this and assume those people had something I didn’t, some secret strength or luck I’d never get. Turns out it’s simpler than that! it’s about showing up when no one’s watching and making something out of what’s left. If hearing a bit of that helps someone feel less stuck, then it’s worth writing down.
I won’t get into exact places or names, just keeping some healthy internet boundaries. The web’s not always kind, and some parts of life don’t need to live here forever, lol. I’ve been in this situation twice by now (once from the circumstances of my youth, once from a combination of bad luck and ill-informed choices) and learned something new each time about what it takes to rebuild. It’s not something I’m ashamed/proud of, just part of what taught me what stability actually means!
I’m open to talking about the parts of recovery people don’t usually see, the logistics, the mindset, the small shifts that gradually turn ever-loving chaos into something libable. Things like handling paperwork without an address, keeping dignity while asking for help, or balancing exhaustion and ambition without losing yourself in either. I can share what rebuilding feels like from the inside: the patience, the guilt when things start improving, and how relationships change when people don’t know what to say. I’ve learned a lot about routine, control, trust, what to hold onto, what to release, and how to protect what’s still tender. I’m not here to dramatize anything, just to speak honestly about what personally worked, what didn’t, and what home starts to mean when you’ve had to build it from scratch.
Much love, and ask away!
I won’t get into exact places or names, just keeping some healthy internet boundaries. The web’s not always kind, and some parts of life don’t need to live here forever, lol. I’ve been in this situation twice by now (once from the circumstances of my youth, once from a combination of bad luck and ill-informed choices) and learned something new each time about what it takes to rebuild. It’s not something I’m ashamed/proud of, just part of what taught me what stability actually means!
I’m open to talking about the parts of recovery people don’t usually see, the logistics, the mindset, the small shifts that gradually turn ever-loving chaos into something libable. Things like handling paperwork without an address, keeping dignity while asking for help, or balancing exhaustion and ambition without losing yourself in either. I can share what rebuilding feels like from the inside: the patience, the guilt when things start improving, and how relationships change when people don’t know what to say. I’ve learned a lot about routine, control, trust, what to hold onto, what to release, and how to protect what’s still tender. I’m not here to dramatize anything, just to speak honestly about what personally worked, what didn’t, and what home starts to mean when you’ve had to build it from scratch.
Much love, and ask away!
Well done!!
I know how difficult it is to get something having no fix address, as I'm now on the other side of the 'counter' and counsel unemployed people.
I bet you got the most difficulties to register anywhere without an address, if it is only an insurance or even a job.
What is the biggest 'trick' you've ever done to get something you needed but couldn't get without an official address? I don't judge it or denounce anything, but I'm sure lot of creativity is sometimes needed and it might even lead to hilarious situations, no?
I know how difficult it is to get something having no fix address, as I'm now on the other side of the 'counter' and counsel unemployed people.
I bet you got the most difficulties to register anywhere without an address, if it is only an insurance or even a job.
What is the biggest 'trick' you've ever done to get something you needed but couldn't get without an official address? I don't judge it or denounce anything, but I'm sure lot of creativity is sometimes needed and it might even lead to hilarious situations, no?
Fantax wrote:
Well done!!
I know how difficult it is to get something having no fix address, as I'm now on the other side of the 'counter' and counsel unemployed people.
I bet you got the most difficulties to register anywhere without an address, if it is only an insurance or even a job.
What is the biggest 'trick' you've ever done to get something you needed but couldn't get without an official address? I don't judge it or denounce anything, but I'm sure lot of creativity is sometimes needed and it might even lead to hilarious situations, no?
I know how difficult it is to get something having no fix address, as I'm now on the other side of the 'counter' and counsel unemployed people.
I bet you got the most difficulties to register anywhere without an address, if it is only an insurance or even a job.
What is the biggest 'trick' you've ever done to get something you needed but couldn't get without an official address? I don't judge it or denounce anything, but I'm sure lot of creativity is sometimes needed and it might even lead to hilarious situations, no?
Thank you!
You're right about that! The hardest part wasn't the weather or the meal plan or the unsafe strangers, it was generally that pesky little box on forms asking for your current address, because "N/A" is, apparently, not an acceptable answer! You can be sober, clean, eager to work, and still get filtered out by sans-ing a zip code.
The funniest "trick" I ever pulled came the second time I was out. I got my hands on a storage unit and was living out of that for a while (not supposed to, obviously, but it was a family owned business that looked the other way as long as I paid on time, kept quiet/clean, and didn't trip the night alarm). Needed an address on a form for a warehouse job, so I used the business. Looked official enough, just left out the "storage" part of "storage complex". I figured, worse case, I'd find another storage unit to stay in, because I didn't want to bother the employees/alert the owners to my blatant display of lawless abode lmao. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right?
About a week after applying, I guess the warehouse wanted to double check my info before putting me on payroll. They called the number I’d listed for the “address” (aka the storage office). They were skeptical, obviously, it’s not hard to figure out when a place isn’t an apartment building. The desk guy (shy teenager who mostly just watched movies on his phone behind the counter) supposedly picked up and said, "Oh yeah, [Nunya]'s here all the time, I can go knock on his door if you'd like to talk to him." Somehow that was enough. yhey told him to let me know I was hired. I showed up the next day with my ID and signed the forms. I bought the guy a pizza with my first paycheck (which was, thankfully, handed to me in person) and we split it while we watched fight club in the office. Freaking loved that kid.
Besides other (less interesting) instances like that, I learned the proper/best way to recieve mail was through general delivery at the post office. Free, legal, they hold your mail under your name. No address needed, just a valid photo ID. Libraries were an anchor too. If you show up clean, polite, and regular, some librarians will save your life. Churches might also bend the rules a little if you scout the right one, show up for sunday services, and scrape a few coins into the collection plate when you can. Most people are much more willing to help once you've become a familiar face (if you have the privilege of becoming a familiar face).
Sometimes I made friends who would let me borrow their address. Some local mail centers rent mailboxes that come with a street-style adress rather than a P.O box. many shelters, outreach centers, and some city offices offer mail services for unhoused people. You don’t always need to sleep there to use their address.If a form forces you to type a street, but you’re out of luck, you can also try writing something like "currently relocating". For online systems that won’t let you submit without a valid ZIP, use a public location you can actually reach and then explain in person later if needed. A lot of small/private companies don't actually care as long as the ZIP is real.
I’ve got a real place now, with a locking milbox, numbers by the door, a real welcome mat, etc. The first time I opened up my mailbox and found a letter inside, I cried lmfao. A letter! For me! At my own address!
Anyways, thanks for the question! I hope that my response doesn't disappoint
I think that Pizza was one of the best in your life!!! Thanks for sharing!
I didn’t know that some official institutions do offer such possibilities to homeless, that’s great.
All this makes me think of a story that’s true, here in Luxembourg. The designer of the most known bridge (just like the GoldenGate for San Francisco), the “Rout Bréck” has ended up sleeping underneath, homeless.
So this evening, when you get home, when you close the gate of your white picked fence, have a thought of how lucky you are.
Thank you Nunya
I didn’t know that some official institutions do offer such possibilities to homeless, that’s great.
All this makes me think of a story that’s true, here in Luxembourg. The designer of the most known bridge (just like the GoldenGate for San Francisco), the “Rout Bréck” has ended up sleeping underneath, homeless.
So this evening, when you get home, when you close the gate of your white picked fence, have a thought of how lucky you are.
Thank you Nunya
Fantax wrote:
I think that Pizza was one of the best in your life!!! Thanks for sharing!
I didn’t know that some official institutions do offer such possibilities to homeless, that’s great.
All this makes me think of a story that’s true, here in Luxembourg. The designer of the most known bridge (just like the GoldenGate for San Francisco), the “Rout Bréck” has ended up sleeping underneath, homeless.
So this evening, when you get home, when you close the gate of your white picked fence, have a thought of how lucky you are.
Thank you Nunya
I didn’t know that some official institutions do offer such possibilities to homeless, that’s great.
All this makes me think of a story that’s true, here in Luxembourg. The designer of the most known bridge (just like the GoldenGate for San Francisco), the “Rout Bréck” has ended up sleeping underneath, homeless.
So this evening, when you get home, when you close the gate of your white picked fence, have a thought of how lucky you are.
Thank you Nunya
I think so too!!
And yeah, I’m endlessly grateful that the city I landed in the second time around had real, practical help for unhoused folks. That story about the bridge designer hits close too. Doesn’t matter how strong or skilled you are, most of us are just a couple of bad turns away from sleeping under something we once helped build.
I don’t know about a white picket fence lol, but every night I lock my door, I remember what it means to have one. People far better than me have lost more. I try to keep that truth close, it keeps me kind.
And no, seriously, thank you Fantax! Glad you asked your question, wishing you peace!
Nunya wrote:
Not looking for pity!! just figured some people might find it useful to talk about what recovery really looks like. When I was in the middle of it, I’d read posts like this and assume those people had something I didn’t, some secret strength or luck I’d never get. Turns out it’s simpler than that! it’s about showing up when no one’s watching and making something out of what’s left. If hearing a bit of that helps someone feel less stuck, then it’s worth writing down.
I won’t get into exact places or names, just keeping some healthy internet boundaries. The web’s not always kind, and some parts of life don’t need to live here forever, lol. I’ve been in this situation twice by now (once from the circumstances of my youth, once from a combination of bad luck and ill-informed choices) and learned something new each time about what it takes to rebuild. It’s not something I’m ashamed/proud of, just part of what taught me what stability actually means!
I’m open to talking about the parts of recovery people don’t usually see, the logistics, the mindset, the small shifts that gradually turn ever-loving chaos into something libable. Things like handling paperwork without an address, keeping dignity while asking for help, or balancing exhaustion and ambition without losing yourself in either. I can share what rebuilding feels like from the inside: the patience, the guilt when things start improving, and how relationships change when people don’t know what to say. I’ve learned a lot about routine, control, trust, what to hold onto, what to release, and how to protect what’s still tender. I’m not here to dramatize anything, just to speak honestly about what personally worked, what didn’t, and what home starts to mean when you’ve had to build it from scratch.
Much love, and ask away!
I won’t get into exact places or names, just keeping some healthy internet boundaries. The web’s not always kind, and some parts of life don’t need to live here forever, lol. I’ve been in this situation twice by now (once from the circumstances of my youth, once from a combination of bad luck and ill-informed choices) and learned something new each time about what it takes to rebuild. It’s not something I’m ashamed/proud of, just part of what taught me what stability actually means!
I’m open to talking about the parts of recovery people don’t usually see, the logistics, the mindset, the small shifts that gradually turn ever-loving chaos into something libable. Things like handling paperwork without an address, keeping dignity while asking for help, or balancing exhaustion and ambition without losing yourself in either. I can share what rebuilding feels like from the inside: the patience, the guilt when things start improving, and how relationships change when people don’t know what to say. I’ve learned a lot about routine, control, trust, what to hold onto, what to release, and how to protect what’s still tender. I’m not here to dramatize anything, just to speak honestly about what personally worked, what didn’t, and what home starts to mean when you’ve had to build it from scratch.
Much love, and ask away!
Hello! I was also homeless in my youth, and I was wondering if you had heard of the national safe place program? Essentially anyone under 18 (21 in some places) can go to a library or quicktrip or another place involved in the program and get immediate help, including emergency shelter. At least in the US. I now volunteer for my local services, and just wrote a grant proposal to turn an abandoned building into another shelter.
Nunya wrote:
Thank you!
The funniest "trick" I ever pulled came the second time I was out. I got my hands on a storage unit and was living out of that for a while (not supposed to, obviously, but it was a family owned business that looked the other way as long as I paid on time, kept quiet/clean, and didn't trip the night alarm). Needed an address on a form for a warehouse job, so I used the business. Looked official enough, just left out the "storage" part of "storage complex". I figured, worse case, I'd find another storage unit to stay in, because I didn't want to bother the employees/alert the owners to my blatant display of lawless abode lmao. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right?
About a week after applying, I guess the warehouse wanted to double check my info before putting me on payroll. They called the number I’d listed for the “address” (aka the storage office). They were skeptical, obviously, it’s not hard to figure out when a place isn’t an apartment building. The desk guy (shy teenager who mostly just watched movies on his phone behind the counter) supposedly picked up and said, "Oh yeah, [Nunya]'s here all the time, I can go knock on his door if you'd like to talk to him." Somehow that was enough. yhey told him to let me know I was hired. I showed up the next day with my ID and signed the forms. I bought the guy a pizza with my first paycheck (which was, thankfully, handed to me in person) and we split it while we watched fight club in the office. Freaking loved that kid.
Besides other (less interesting) instances like that, I learned the proper/best way to recieve mail was through general delivery at the post office. Free, legal, they hold your mail under your name. No address needed, just a valid photo ID. Libraries were an anchor too. If you show up clean, polite, and regular, some librarians will save your life. Churches might also bend the rules a little if you scout the right one, show up for sunday services, and scrape a few coins into the collection plate when you can. Most people are much more willing to help once you've become a familiar face (if you have the privilege of becoming a familiar face).
Sometimes I made friends who would let me borrow their address. Some local mail centers rent mailboxes that come with a street-style adress rather than a P.O box. many shelters, outreach centers, and some city offices offer mail services for unhoused people. You don’t always need to sleep there to use their address.If a form forces you to type a street, but you’re out of luck, you can also try writing something like "currently relocating". For online systems that won’t let you submit without a valid ZIP, use a public location you can actually reach and then explain in person later if needed. A lot of small/private companies don't actually care as long as the ZIP is real.
I’ve got a real place now, with a locking milbox, numbers by the door, a real welcome mat, etc. The first time I opened up my mailbox and found a letter inside, I cried lmfao. A letter! For me! At my own address!
Anyways, thanks for the question! I hope that my response doesn't disappoint
I have no questions. I just wanted to say a few things.
First, I love that you’ve gone through all of this and managed to keep such a lovely sense of humor. You’re so optimistic.
Secondly, the letter addressed to you in your very own mailbox touched my heart deeply. Those little things are truly the good stuff in life.
And lastly, your answers couldn’t possibly disappoint anyone. They were thoughtful, vivid, and incredibly informative. I’d absolutely read a book written by you about your journey.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
amelie_luna wrote:
Hello! I was also homeless in my youth, and I was wondering if you had heard of the national safe place program? Essentially anyone under 18 (21 in some places) can go to a library or quicktrip or another place involved in the program and get immediate help, including emergency shelter. At least in the US. I now volunteer for my local services, and just wrote a grant proposal to turn an abandoned building into another shelter.
Oh wow, that’s awesome to hear. I hadn’t heard of the national safe place program when I was younger, but I wish I had, would’ve made a world of difference back then. That’s incredible work you’re doing, writing a grant and volunteering!
Thank you for what you do. Seriously! I know firsthand how much even one open door can change the whole course of someone’s life. And i will be sure to look this program up properly when I get the chance
Have a great day!
Stormiedayz wrote:
I have no questions. I just wanted to say a few things.
First, I love that you’ve gone through all of this and managed to keep such a lovely sense of humor. You’re so optimistic.
Secondly, the letter addressed to you in your very own mailbox touched my heart deeply. Those little things are truly the good stuff in life.
And lastly, your answers couldn’t possibly disappoint anyone. They were thoughtful, vivid, and incredibly informative. I’d absolutely read a book written by you about your journey.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
thank you, truly! I don’t think optimism ever came easy, it’s something i had to build out of scraps. humor helped, kindness helped more!
the letter meant a lot lol! it reminded me that even after losing everything, you can still make a way for the proof that you belong somewhere.
i’m grateful for your words! I'm not sure if I'll ever write a book on my life, but I genuinely appreciate the sentiment! Sharing my story on here feels a bit like tossing a message in a bottle, so hearing that it reached someone makes it worth every bit of the telling lol. Have a good one
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