On ANOTHER SITE. Not this one, I was attempting to sell art.
I explained because I'm on disability I cannot buy the sites currency,
and that's why I'd like to sell art to get some of the sites currency.
And a person posted, saying;
"Are you trying to use the fact that you have disability to get higher offer on your art? Just asking not trying to sound mean"
Uhm... excuse me? One, you took my explanation in a totally different context... and two, you're accusing me of trying to get a higher offer on my art using my disability? That is in every single way 'mean' and totally uncalled for.
I explained that, and several people agreed with me (without me asking for any back-up, people messaged her saying she was being rude. I did not ask for anyone to do that, I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by asking for outside help.)
Then they had the nerve to send me this message via a private message;
"I am sorry for offending you but i am not sorry for what i said. I do not know how old you are but it seems you need to mentally grow up. What i said was not rude in any way, you may have interpret it that way but it was not. That is reality. Asking a question is not necessarily accusation. So that is where you went wrong. In reality you hurt yourself by taking it in the wrong context"
And they just won't drop it. Now they accuse me of 'needing to grow up... and saying it wasn't rude in any way? I even replied and explained myself saying that if they wanted to ask such a thing they should have PMed me. And that if they were truly 'sorry' they would not be insulting me further. And yet this person is accusing me of being childish, when they continue to argue to have the last word. I had even, before this person sent the second message, sent them a small gift off their wishlist to show I forgave them, and asked them politely not to do it again to anyone else, and ask such questions in private.
Really, truly, they are accusing me of taking it, 'in wrong context'... when they took my explanation the same way.
But they just, keep, arguing.
I'm upset. I was accused, insulted, and now they won't stop until they are 'right'.
In a sense I know I could block them... but that feels wrong. Like proving them right about me being 'immature'.
What should I do?
I explained because I'm on disability I cannot buy the sites currency,
and that's why I'd like to sell art to get some of the sites currency.
And a person posted, saying;
"Are you trying to use the fact that you have disability to get higher offer on your art? Just asking not trying to sound mean"
Uhm... excuse me? One, you took my explanation in a totally different context... and two, you're accusing me of trying to get a higher offer on my art using my disability? That is in every single way 'mean' and totally uncalled for.
I explained that, and several people agreed with me (without me asking for any back-up, people messaged her saying she was being rude. I did not ask for anyone to do that, I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by asking for outside help.)
Then they had the nerve to send me this message via a private message;
"I am sorry for offending you but i am not sorry for what i said. I do not know how old you are but it seems you need to mentally grow up. What i said was not rude in any way, you may have interpret it that way but it was not. That is reality. Asking a question is not necessarily accusation. So that is where you went wrong. In reality you hurt yourself by taking it in the wrong context"
And they just won't drop it. Now they accuse me of 'needing to grow up... and saying it wasn't rude in any way? I even replied and explained myself saying that if they wanted to ask such a thing they should have PMed me. And that if they were truly 'sorry' they would not be insulting me further. And yet this person is accusing me of being childish, when they continue to argue to have the last word. I had even, before this person sent the second message, sent them a small gift off their wishlist to show I forgave them, and asked them politely not to do it again to anyone else, and ask such questions in private.
Really, truly, they are accusing me of taking it, 'in wrong context'... when they took my explanation the same way.
But they just, keep, arguing.
I'm upset. I was accused, insulted, and now they won't stop until they are 'right'.
In a sense I know I could block them... but that feels wrong. Like proving them right about me being 'immature'.
What should I do?
Unfortunately, Ami, there is no real "win" situation when you're going one-on-one against a troll, jerk, or any such unpleasant sport on the ol' internets. Even if you're turning the other cheek or being the better person, more often than not they'll find any sort of justification to assert themselves as right and you wrong.
That being said, I'm both relieved it's not going on around here and yet very sorry to hear it's happening to you elsewhere! I've been in that situation myself plenty of times, so I understand a good deal how frustrating dealing with someone who is being unpleasant can be. I've found that a lot of times, when someone says "Not to sound mean, but..." they secretly know they're about to drop an ugly bomb on someone.
So my advice to you is to take one of a few options, or even a mix of them:
Block them. You aren't immature by using that website's features to avoid being harassed. Don't let their words get to you! That's how they REALLY win.
Take it to a moderator. I'm not sure what site you're on, but if it's got moderators, and you feel this person's gone too far, you're always within your right to ask a moderator to step in and handle them. The RPR itself has a "be nice" rule for these sorts of situations--members have to be nice to each other, and trolling/being cruel is absolutely not allowed, so I hope the same goes for this other website.
Ignore them. That doesn't mean blocking them, but it does mean no longer giving them the time of day, at all. It's a lot like arguing with a bully or child; keep giving them attention, and they'll keep acting out. Don't pay them heed, and unless they're particularly vindictive, they'll get bored and find a new target. It may not help the next person in the long run, but it'll certainly help you and your peace of mind.
That being said, I'm both relieved it's not going on around here and yet very sorry to hear it's happening to you elsewhere! I've been in that situation myself plenty of times, so I understand a good deal how frustrating dealing with someone who is being unpleasant can be. I've found that a lot of times, when someone says "Not to sound mean, but..." they secretly know they're about to drop an ugly bomb on someone.
So my advice to you is to take one of a few options, or even a mix of them:
Block them. You aren't immature by using that website's features to avoid being harassed. Don't let their words get to you! That's how they REALLY win.
Take it to a moderator. I'm not sure what site you're on, but if it's got moderators, and you feel this person's gone too far, you're always within your right to ask a moderator to step in and handle them. The RPR itself has a "be nice" rule for these sorts of situations--members have to be nice to each other, and trolling/being cruel is absolutely not allowed, so I hope the same goes for this other website.
Ignore them. That doesn't mean blocking them, but it does mean no longer giving them the time of day, at all. It's a lot like arguing with a bully or child; keep giving them attention, and they'll keep acting out. Don't pay them heed, and unless they're particularly vindictive, they'll get bored and find a new target. It may not help the next person in the long run, but it'll certainly help you and your peace of mind.
Copper_Dragon wrote:
Unfortunately, Ami, there is no real "win" situation when you're going one-on-one against a troll, jerk, or any such unpleasant sport on the ol' internets. Even if you're turning the other cheek or being the better person, more often than not they'll find any sort of justification to assert themselves as right and you wrong.
That being said, I'm both relieved it's not going on around here and yet very sorry to hear it's happening to you elsewhere! I've been in that situation myself plenty of times, so I understand a good deal how frustrating dealing with someone who is being unpleasant can be. I've found that a lot of times, when someone says "Not to sound mean, but..." they secretly know they're about to drop an ugly bomb on someone.
So my advice to you is to take one of a few options, or even a mix of them:
Block them. You aren't immature by using that website's features to avoid being harassed. Don't let their words get to you! That's how they REALLY win.
Take it to a moderator. I'm not sure what site you're on, but if it's got moderators, and you feel this person's gone too far, you're always within your right to ask a moderator to step in and handle them. The RPR itself has a "be nice" rule for these sorts of situations--members have to be nice to each other, and trolling/being cruel is absolutely not allowed, so I hope the same goes for this other website.
Ignore them. That doesn't mean blocking them, but it does mean no longer giving them the time of day, at all. It's a lot like arguing with a bully or child; keep giving them attention, and they'll keep acting out. Don't pay them heed, and unless they're particularly vindictive, they'll get bored and find a new target. It may not help the next person in the long run, but it'll certainly help you and your peace of mind.
That being said, I'm both relieved it's not going on around here and yet very sorry to hear it's happening to you elsewhere! I've been in that situation myself plenty of times, so I understand a good deal how frustrating dealing with someone who is being unpleasant can be. I've found that a lot of times, when someone says "Not to sound mean, but..." they secretly know they're about to drop an ugly bomb on someone.
So my advice to you is to take one of a few options, or even a mix of them:
Block them. You aren't immature by using that website's features to avoid being harassed. Don't let their words get to you! That's how they REALLY win.
Take it to a moderator. I'm not sure what site you're on, but if it's got moderators, and you feel this person's gone too far, you're always within your right to ask a moderator to step in and handle them. The RPR itself has a "be nice" rule for these sorts of situations--members have to be nice to each other, and trolling/being cruel is absolutely not allowed, so I hope the same goes for this other website.
Ignore them. That doesn't mean blocking them, but it does mean no longer giving them the time of day, at all. It's a lot like arguing with a bully or child; keep giving them attention, and they'll keep acting out. Don't pay them heed, and unless they're particularly vindictive, they'll get bored and find a new target. It may not help the next person in the long run, but it'll certainly help you and your peace of mind.
Thank you. I decided to report it, as it's a bigger site it's hard to just contact a moderator. I tried to be kind, turn the other cheek, forgive them... and as much as it hurts I cannot change their attitude it seems, which is what I was hoping for that my kindness and gift may have changed them enough to not do it to someone else... There's not much I can do if they don't want to change. And thank you for explaining the fact about blocking more. I greatly appreciate it. I'll consider it for sure.
You're welcome, Ami! *hugs* 
I'm glad my advice has been of good use to you, and I hope your troubles with that other user get solved promptly.
I'm glad my advice has been of good use to you, and I hope your troubles with that other user get solved promptly.
*offers a big hug* I have a disability too and this person is a piece of crap. You have been WAY more tolerant and forgiving about this then I could ever be. Btw your art is gorgeous!
Thank you both! And ahh! Are you sure you saw MY art Katia?
I use a lot of commissioned/gifts/trades for my characters references rather than my own art.
My most recent art is like [this].
But thank you Copper, for the advice, and thank you Katia for the support!
I think it's all solved now. Thank you again!
I use a lot of commissioned/gifts/trades for my characters references rather than my own art.
My most recent art is like [this].
But thank you Copper, for the advice, and thank you Katia for the support!
I think it's all solved now. Thank you again!
Yes because I checked your art thread in the art sales. xD
Katia wrote:
Yes because I checked your art thread in the art sales. xD
Ooh thank you!
Most of it is best ignored and perhaps reported to the admins. People can be cruel ass holes. Block, ignore and report them if they get really offensive.
This trick doesn't work for/on everyone but I found if you just make the troll's attempts to upset you into a big joke they might give up when they see their insults mean little to nothing to you
saygerow wrote:
This trick doesn't work for/on everyone but I found if you just make the troll's attempts to upset you into a big joke they might give up when they see their insults mean little to nothing to you
I don't recommend this, because that's usually what the trolls are after - any reaction from you is a win for them. It doesn't matter if you make good points, turn it into a joke etc. You're giving them attention by responding to it and they're happy with that.
I have always managed to 'beat trolls' by just not giving them any attention at all. Nothing. Just absolute silence trumps them, and if they keep on trying a moderator is the next step.
That said, my only advice is to just stop caring what others think about you. It's so draining to put energy into feeling things for people that have no value nor place in your life. I personally have better things to spend that energy on. I just accepted the fact there will always be people who dislike me, disagree with me, will try to harass or insult me, there's nothing I can do about that. There will always be people who can't accept my sickness. I'm just me, I have both good attributes and flawed ones, I have good moments but also bad, I'm aware of them and I try to manage them to the best of my abilities. It's not fair to tell myself I need to do better than my best when it's obvious that I'm incapacitated from achieving more than I already do. I see no reason to put myself through that hell anymore. If people want to see a correlation between being on disability and offering commissions, that's not your problem (nor would it be mine if I were in your shoes).
You know better than anyone else what your intentions are. That's the only thing that matters. Don't let one misled individual ruin your day, they're not worth that kind of emotion and energy from you.
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