My 2 cents from own experience.
When I started RPing on this site, I joined 3-4 stories with my favourite player at the time whom I had just met and we got on great IC and OOC. We were very like-minded and had a great time together and kept chatting each other daily IC/OOC for quite some time.
For one of the stories, we created a private group for OOC with a public IC forum.
Now, in general, I dislike my characters being godmodded by other people without my consent. It is a rule on this site: No godmodding
But another team member kept doing it to me
"Mine took your character away, beat them up and locked them up so they couldn't move or escape, then cast a spell to put them asleep... Or mine punched yours and knocked them out unconscious and carried him away... Or my giant bird took your characters, flying away and waiting till the battle was over"
Effectively this person with her characters actions was blocking mine from partaking in every battle and fun part of the story whilst the others went on to enjoy a good round of action, each time.
Godmodding happened excessively and repeatedly by this 1 particular person who happened to own several of the other anonymous characters that were part of the story too (something I didn't know at the time)
They were aggressive and lashed out if warned about it and kept demanding edits from me and others whenever our replies didn't go as she wanted them to. She was very controlling and quite rude at times, friendly and fun at other times.
After I complained to the owner who had specifically posted No Godmodding as a rule in the LKFRP post... because the godmodder and the owner were known friends IRL and/or for longer time in RPR... I was treated like trash for daring to complain and not accepting the godmodding of my characters.
Despite I politely pointed to the RPR rules page about this matter and the LKFRP remark... the owner insisted that I had to compromise by putting every scenario I complained about (where my characters were heavily godmodded) to vote by all players, so as to decide course of action and the majority's decision wins in the outcome. Not even left to the chance of a dice (1 - 2 // yes - no)).
As the guilty party was controlling several of the anonymous characters and all kept voting in favour of allowing the godmodding move to continue, each time my concern or protest fell on deaf ears. It was a situation of... raise your concern about this action or particular post but since everyone else agrees, or the majority agrees, it's case closed, the godmodding move stays.
Throughout the RP I offered to quit a few times. Whenever I suggested leaving the godmodder sent me threatening PMs, insulting comments in OOC for trying to ruin the story, in the group chat room, as well as the public forum too to a much lesser extent since it was public space. Despite this abuse and total lack of respect, the owner sided with her friend (the godmodder) to the point that I stopped replying for a few days.
Because without an IC foe, there is no story, I eventually got an apology from the owner, (not the godmodder) issued a couple days later, asking me not to quit and to stay on and assuring things would get sorted.... though in reality they never did, not once was the offender openly told to cut back or out with the annoying godmodding.
From an outside perspective... almost everyone in the group bar me accepted the godmodding (that only happened against my characters not theirs!) so I looked back and felt I was at fault, I was ruining the fun for everyone and the story too by being the awkward one and I yielded and allowed this godmodding to continue for a time.
The harassment still happened from the person in question if I tried to distance my characters from hers or limited our characters interaction playing more with the others instead so as to minimize opportunity for godmodding, then she openly would accuse me of ignoring and avoiding her.
Overall I was enjoying the RP plot/story, we had invested months of hard work, which was hard to let go, we had lots of plans made and I had fun with the rest of players too, plotting away OOC when godmodding wasn't going on, but it soon restarted and got worse.
At one point the bully took one of her anon characters out of the RP and acted as if that player was another person altogether, a friend of hers in real life, who was upset at me so as to cause a guilt trip and force and apology and acceptance of the godmodding.
The bully was demanding and expecting me to openly apologise for unreasonable behaviour otherwise her "friend" (which was another of her accounts all along) wouldn't return to the RP clearly using a blackmailing and coercive behaviour. Even then the owner sided with the bully and was demanding an apology for making "the friend" quit and not being accommodating enough.
Obviously I did not grovel an apology because I had done nothing wrong, I shouldn't have to put up with godmodding nor be forced to edit my IC replies or change my characters personalities to accommodate one controlling player's wishes
Seeing her tactic had failed, the godmodder finally made a pout a couple of weeks later, the owner left the RP, following her bully friend and causing the RP to come to an abrupt end.
They restarted the same story, with the same title and content but without me, making unpleasant remarks in the new LKFRP post and new group about unwanted players unwilling to compromise, clearly a jibe aimed at me.
Yes, seeing everyone else move on to a good time without me, on a story I particularly enjoyed, wasn't nice to see or read about but I took it on the stride and focused more on the other stories I was also working on.
Turns out the other stories also were from the same owner using her anon. characters instead and we had a great time together, plotting ideas and posting replies.
Out of the blue... the bully sent me a PM to further harass and taunt me about it all, well after the RP was over. She was telling me that our original group had been deleted along with all my ideas, that the same players (except me) were doing great in the new group role-playing the same story without me and I couldn't join them and have fun unless I apologised to her first.
It was then, months down the line, when I plucked courage to hit that report button, when I explained to the mods what had happened to get the issue investigated. The most insulting OOC remarks on the public forums were deleted and the guilty party was kicked from RPR.
Yes... having reviewed all the evidence... I got a nice apology from Kim for all the hard time I had been put through, which I will honestly say it felt great at the time because I felt validated against the bullying person. It was not me or my fault after all.
By that point... the owner and I were role-playing other stories together again ( through her anon characters ) without issues, and we were having a good time together.
When the investigation concluded and the guilty party was rightfully kicked out of RPR (given the ongoing abusive behaviour and the fact that I was not her first case either) ... out of the blue yet at the same time... the owner blocked me and I was no longer able to continue posting on any of my other ongoing stories. I was forced to drop out altogether, unable to reply to others as if I had ghosted, without any explanation given to them.
I felt wronged, like a punch to the gut, not only had I been hassled and bottled it up IC, OOC, PMs, for months during my favourite roleplay by 1 horrid person (and proven right) but now I also still lost RPR acquaintances like the original rp owner among other friends with whom I had other great stories going on, over this fiasco. Seemed that the godmodder had won because they had managed to break my friendship and damage my roleplay time with the others, irreversably so.
I didn't get a chance to share with those writers any evidence in my favour, to clear my name, including the fact that the godmodder had lied to us using one of their own anon. characters as if it were a different person who quit over my behaviour, stirring more fake drama than needed. I couldn't share the truth... because I was already blocked.
At that point, I just wanted to quit RPR, given my disappointment and frustration, however, Kim gave good advice for me
- I should report these situations right away and not bottle it for the sake of others not even for the sake of a good story
- I shouldn't have to put up with godmodding; it is a site rule for a reason
- I should block problem persons or people who are rude OOC to prevent worse to come
- There are many good apples in the RPR basket and I was just very unlucky to find the bully first
Now, looking back...
I regret not blocking the bully sooner and not hitting that report button sooner and not moving on earlier. Less time and effort wasted and less hurt too. Perhaps, I might have been able to keep some of those players who blocked me unfairly because the bully wouldn't have had as much online time to raise support/sympathy through her other anon characters.
No, I didn't put a thread in a public forum to complain about it at that time but yes, the support of other writers and Kim! telling me I had done nothing wrong and it wasn't my fault, those who did back me up at that moment, gave me enough courage to stay on in RPR and have a great time with other writers, new stories and groups and site games.
Perhaps if a couple of writers didn't privately tell me that the bully was out of order, that they had nothing against me but felt uncomfortable speaking up or voting against godmodding openly for fear of being picked on next too, thought it clearly was not fair on me... I would have likely quietly deleted the account and left RPR and missed truckloads of fun, Epic Weeks, greater writers and better friends.
Below a list of honourable mentions of some of my new awesome writers and outstanding friends which I have gained since then and have the priviledge to roleplay with frequently. They far surprass my expectations and keep me highly interested and motivated in RPR.
8TigerBunnyTora
8_Stars_8
Abigail_Austin
AntirrhiumFraus
Arcol
Audemar
Beetlebelle
BreezyDawn
Claine
Clayfire12
Colstan
DarkElf06
Dndmama
Elvenfairy
FallingSTARISH
gambit
Guardian_Girl
Hadeslicious
Heimdall
iltheyn
Juls
JustaBitEvil
Kaleidoscope
KansasVenomoth
Koobler
Kungfu6453
Kyce
Kytsora
Light_Of_Love
Locus
Mathgeek124
Mordoskull
noble_cause
Novalyyn
Raider-jack29
Slain
ShareYoLean
Son_of_Fire
Solarloki
Spiteful
StaticNightmares
strawberry_champion
StereotypeAgain
Subtleknifewielder
Sweetyceltic
Sweet_Little_Sock
The Hanged Man
TheCreator7
TheNightmareSavage
TheUkrainianBean
TimTowtiddy
Tink
Tucker_dragon
yzaiskane
.... and so many others I could spend the day listing them all...
If you are facing similar issues... especially if you are new to the site and hesitant to tell on other existing players.
Don't bottle it, report it!
The sooner, the better
When I started RPing on this site, I joined 3-4 stories with my favourite player at the time whom I had just met and we got on great IC and OOC. We were very like-minded and had a great time together and kept chatting each other daily IC/OOC for quite some time.
For one of the stories, we created a private group for OOC with a public IC forum.
Now, in general, I dislike my characters being godmodded by other people without my consent. It is a rule on this site: No godmodding
But another team member kept doing it to me
"Mine took your character away, beat them up and locked them up so they couldn't move or escape, then cast a spell to put them asleep... Or mine punched yours and knocked them out unconscious and carried him away... Or my giant bird took your characters, flying away and waiting till the battle was over"
Effectively this person with her characters actions was blocking mine from partaking in every battle and fun part of the story whilst the others went on to enjoy a good round of action, each time.
Godmodding happened excessively and repeatedly by this 1 particular person who happened to own several of the other anonymous characters that were part of the story too (something I didn't know at the time)
They were aggressive and lashed out if warned about it and kept demanding edits from me and others whenever our replies didn't go as she wanted them to. She was very controlling and quite rude at times, friendly and fun at other times.
After I complained to the owner who had specifically posted No Godmodding as a rule in the LKFRP post... because the godmodder and the owner were known friends IRL and/or for longer time in RPR... I was treated like trash for daring to complain and not accepting the godmodding of my characters.
Despite I politely pointed to the RPR rules page about this matter and the LKFRP remark... the owner insisted that I had to compromise by putting every scenario I complained about (where my characters were heavily godmodded) to vote by all players, so as to decide course of action and the majority's decision wins in the outcome. Not even left to the chance of a dice (1 - 2 // yes - no)).
As the guilty party was controlling several of the anonymous characters and all kept voting in favour of allowing the godmodding move to continue, each time my concern or protest fell on deaf ears. It was a situation of... raise your concern about this action or particular post but since everyone else agrees, or the majority agrees, it's case closed, the godmodding move stays.
Throughout the RP I offered to quit a few times. Whenever I suggested leaving the godmodder sent me threatening PMs, insulting comments in OOC for trying to ruin the story, in the group chat room, as well as the public forum too to a much lesser extent since it was public space. Despite this abuse and total lack of respect, the owner sided with her friend (the godmodder) to the point that I stopped replying for a few days.
Because without an IC foe, there is no story, I eventually got an apology from the owner, (not the godmodder) issued a couple days later, asking me not to quit and to stay on and assuring things would get sorted.... though in reality they never did, not once was the offender openly told to cut back or out with the annoying godmodding.
From an outside perspective... almost everyone in the group bar me accepted the godmodding (that only happened against my characters not theirs!) so I looked back and felt I was at fault, I was ruining the fun for everyone and the story too by being the awkward one and I yielded and allowed this godmodding to continue for a time.
The harassment still happened from the person in question if I tried to distance my characters from hers or limited our characters interaction playing more with the others instead so as to minimize opportunity for godmodding, then she openly would accuse me of ignoring and avoiding her.
Overall I was enjoying the RP plot/story, we had invested months of hard work, which was hard to let go, we had lots of plans made and I had fun with the rest of players too, plotting away OOC when godmodding wasn't going on, but it soon restarted and got worse.
At one point the bully took one of her anon characters out of the RP and acted as if that player was another person altogether, a friend of hers in real life, who was upset at me so as to cause a guilt trip and force and apology and acceptance of the godmodding.
The bully was demanding and expecting me to openly apologise for unreasonable behaviour otherwise her "friend" (which was another of her accounts all along) wouldn't return to the RP clearly using a blackmailing and coercive behaviour. Even then the owner sided with the bully and was demanding an apology for making "the friend" quit and not being accommodating enough.
Obviously I did not grovel an apology because I had done nothing wrong, I shouldn't have to put up with godmodding nor be forced to edit my IC replies or change my characters personalities to accommodate one controlling player's wishes
Seeing her tactic had failed, the godmodder finally made a pout a couple of weeks later, the owner left the RP, following her bully friend and causing the RP to come to an abrupt end.
They restarted the same story, with the same title and content but without me, making unpleasant remarks in the new LKFRP post and new group about unwanted players unwilling to compromise, clearly a jibe aimed at me.
Yes, seeing everyone else move on to a good time without me, on a story I particularly enjoyed, wasn't nice to see or read about but I took it on the stride and focused more on the other stories I was also working on.
Turns out the other stories also were from the same owner using her anon. characters instead and we had a great time together, plotting ideas and posting replies.
Out of the blue... the bully sent me a PM to further harass and taunt me about it all, well after the RP was over. She was telling me that our original group had been deleted along with all my ideas, that the same players (except me) were doing great in the new group role-playing the same story without me and I couldn't join them and have fun unless I apologised to her first.
It was then, months down the line, when I plucked courage to hit that report button, when I explained to the mods what had happened to get the issue investigated. The most insulting OOC remarks on the public forums were deleted and the guilty party was kicked from RPR.
Yes... having reviewed all the evidence... I got a nice apology from Kim for all the hard time I had been put through, which I will honestly say it felt great at the time because I felt validated against the bullying person. It was not me or my fault after all.
By that point... the owner and I were role-playing other stories together again ( through her anon characters ) without issues, and we were having a good time together.
When the investigation concluded and the guilty party was rightfully kicked out of RPR (given the ongoing abusive behaviour and the fact that I was not her first case either) ... out of the blue yet at the same time... the owner blocked me and I was no longer able to continue posting on any of my other ongoing stories. I was forced to drop out altogether, unable to reply to others as if I had ghosted, without any explanation given to them.
I felt wronged, like a punch to the gut, not only had I been hassled and bottled it up IC, OOC, PMs, for months during my favourite roleplay by 1 horrid person (and proven right) but now I also still lost RPR acquaintances like the original rp owner among other friends with whom I had other great stories going on, over this fiasco. Seemed that the godmodder had won because they had managed to break my friendship and damage my roleplay time with the others, irreversably so.
I didn't get a chance to share with those writers any evidence in my favour, to clear my name, including the fact that the godmodder had lied to us using one of their own anon. characters as if it were a different person who quit over my behaviour, stirring more fake drama than needed. I couldn't share the truth... because I was already blocked.
At that point, I just wanted to quit RPR, given my disappointment and frustration, however, Kim gave good advice for me
- I should report these situations right away and not bottle it for the sake of others not even for the sake of a good story
- I shouldn't have to put up with godmodding; it is a site rule for a reason
- I should block problem persons or people who are rude OOC to prevent worse to come
- There are many good apples in the RPR basket and I was just very unlucky to find the bully first
Now, looking back...
I regret not blocking the bully sooner and not hitting that report button sooner and not moving on earlier. Less time and effort wasted and less hurt too. Perhaps, I might have been able to keep some of those players who blocked me unfairly because the bully wouldn't have had as much online time to raise support/sympathy through her other anon characters.
No, I didn't put a thread in a public forum to complain about it at that time but yes, the support of other writers and Kim! telling me I had done nothing wrong and it wasn't my fault, those who did back me up at that moment, gave me enough courage to stay on in RPR and have a great time with other writers, new stories and groups and site games.
Perhaps if a couple of writers didn't privately tell me that the bully was out of order, that they had nothing against me but felt uncomfortable speaking up or voting against godmodding openly for fear of being picked on next too, thought it clearly was not fair on me... I would have likely quietly deleted the account and left RPR and missed truckloads of fun, Epic Weeks, greater writers and better friends.
Below a list of honourable mentions of some of my new awesome writers and outstanding friends which I have gained since then and have the priviledge to roleplay with frequently. They far surprass my expectations and keep me highly interested and motivated in RPR.
8TigerBunnyTora
8_Stars_8
Abigail_Austin
AntirrhiumFraus
Arcol
Audemar
Beetlebelle
BreezyDawn
Claine
Clayfire12
Colstan
DarkElf06
Dndmama
Elvenfairy
FallingSTARISH
gambit
Guardian_Girl
Hadeslicious
Heimdall
iltheyn
Juls
JustaBitEvil
Kaleidoscope
KansasVenomoth
Koobler
Kungfu6453
Kyce
Kytsora
Light_Of_Love
Locus
Mathgeek124
Mordoskull
noble_cause
Novalyyn
Raider-jack29
Slain
ShareYoLean
Son_of_Fire
Solarloki
Spiteful
StaticNightmares
strawberry_champion
StereotypeAgain
Subtleknifewielder
Sweetyceltic
Sweet_Little_Sock
The Hanged Man
TheCreator7
TheNightmareSavage
TheUkrainianBean
TimTowtiddy
Tink
Tucker_dragon
yzaiskane
.... and so many others I could spend the day listing them all...
If you are facing similar issues... especially if you are new to the site and hesitant to tell on other existing players.
Don't bottle it, report it!
The sooner, the better
Wow, that would have caused me no amount of frustration too.
And the conclusion is one I wholeheartedly agree with. That could be a slogan for people to repeat from time to time.
"Don't bottle it--report it!"
The mod team would rather us report something, than not, if we are unsure.
And the conclusion is one I wholeheartedly agree with. That could be a slogan for people to repeat from time to time.
"Don't bottle it--report it!"
The mod team would rather us report something, than not, if we are unsure.
Subtleknifewielder wrote:
Wow, that would have caused me no amount of frustration too.
And the conclusion is one I wholeheartedly agree with. That could be a slogan for people to repeat from time to time.
"Don't bottle it--report it!"
The mod team would rather us report something, than not, if we are unsure.
And the conclusion is one I wholeheartedly agree with. That could be a slogan for people to repeat from time to time.
"Don't bottle it--report it!"
The mod team would rather us report something, than not, if we are unsure.
Indeed, I cannot thank Kim and the moderators enough for their hard work and dedication.
When times are dark (which are rare but can happen) you guys keep the light shining and make our staying here well worth the while
Kudos to our awesome mod team & Kim!
Man, many kudos...all the kudos!
They do a fantastic job, let us never forget to thank them.
They do a fantastic job, let us never forget to thank them.
Thank you for sharing and for letting people know it's okay to come forward and report other players for misconduct. So often people find that they don't want to get someone in trouble even if they are breaking rules, being a bully, or making an environment hostel for someone. RPR should be a safe place and we have the ability to report people for a reason. It's important to remember that reporting someone doesn't make them the bad guy because of your action, or you for that mater, it launches an investigation of conduct. At one end it is found there was a miscommunication, at the other it is found that someone is being a bully. Either way ...
It couldn't be said better.
Tusitala2017 wrote:
If you are facing similar issues... especially if you are new to the site and hesitant to tell on other existing players.
Don't bottle it, report it!
The sooner, the better
Don't bottle it, report it!
The sooner, the better
It couldn't be said better.
I'll sometimes see folks warning each other over rule breaks like spamming, using forbidden cusses, etc, like "Hey, you shouldn't do that, you might get reported!" As if being reported itself is a terrible punishment.
No! I'm aware that some communities have poor moderation practices, but the ones here are fantastic. Seriously guys, the mods have to see my name so often because of all the reports I send in (and yeah, they've had to talk to me about my own rulebreaks a few times). I report stuff from conversations I never even enter. (I'm a curious creepy lurker...)
I report people because...
No! I'm aware that some communities have poor moderation practices, but the ones here are fantastic. Seriously guys, the mods have to see my name so often because of all the reports I send in (and yeah, they've had to talk to me about my own rulebreaks a few times). I report stuff from conversations I never even enter. (I'm a curious creepy lurker...)
I report people because...
- They made a little, probably unintentional goof on a rule, or posted something in an area it wasn't meant for.
- Someone is using worrying phrasing and I want to make sure they're okay (especially knowing that one of our mods has legit mental health training).
- I know the mods will probably explain things better than me, especially if I don't have time to address something or am too drained. I know from personal experience how they address things, and they're very understanding of honest mistakes.
- I assume it allows them to keep a record in case the person actually has an issue with a certain type of misbehavior, allowing them to change how it is addressed (which might just be a way to better ensure understanding) or step up the reaction as necessary.
I'm so sorry you had to go through such an ordeal and deal with all that slander/harassment. But I'm also glad you were able to come to a resolution and get help from the mods! Thank goodness for site rules and staff that keep this place running, otherwise more abuse would happen. Hopefully, you won't have to experience anything like that again. And thank you for sharing your experience so others who might be in the same situation can find that they're not alone and maybe get some courage from it to get out of or report the situation they're in.
And reminding everyone, that people are human. They make mistakes and break rules. A report shouldn't be automatically assumed to be an attack against the person, rather a helping hand for the community and individuals involved. I have reported several posts, never with malicious intent, and it always ends up being a simple mistake or misunderstanding. Though people make mistakes, it is also their jobs to learn from them.
Edit: I feel honored that you included my name up there
Edit: I feel honored that you included my name up there
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Novalyyn wrote:
I'll sometimes see folks warning each other over rule breaks like spamming, using forbidden cusses, etc, like "Hey, you shouldn't do that, you might get reported!" As if being reported itself is a terrible punishment.
No! I'm aware that some communities have poor moderation practices, but the ones here are fantastic. Seriously guys, the mods have to see my name so often because of all the reports I send in (and yeah, they've had to talk to me about my own rulebreaks a few times). I report stuff from conversations I never even enter. (I'm a curious creepy lurker...)
No! I'm aware that some communities have poor moderation practices, but the ones here are fantastic. Seriously guys, the mods have to see my name so often because of all the reports I send in (and yeah, they've had to talk to me about my own rulebreaks a few times). I report stuff from conversations I never even enter. (I'm a curious creepy lurker...)
I have never felt attacked or like my trust was violated each time I did receive a warning--the mods are completely understanding. I appreciate, more than words can express, the general assumption that at least the first time, the thing that happens is probably just an honest mistake, apologize for my mistake, and move to correct it, and/or just move on if there's not really anything more I can do there. Either way I learn from it and try to watch against making the same mistake in the future.
P.S. I only just noticed my name's been put on the OP's list...I feel honored.
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