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Connie
Human Bard
Weapon: Lyre
HP: 6
AC: 11
Str- 0
Dex- 1
Con- 0
Int- 1
Wis- 1
Cha- 3

Cantrips:
Vicious Mockery 1D4+3
Minor Illusion
Blade Ward
Prestidigitation

First Level:
Comprehend Languages
Disguise Self

Thraat
Half-Orc Barbarian
HP:16
AC:14
Weapon: Great Axe 1D12+2
Str +2
Dex +1
Con +3
Int 0
Wis 0
Cha 0

Rage: Add an additional +2 to all Strength Check, and Melee attacks, you also take half damage from slashing, piercing, and bludgeoning damage. Lasts five rounds, recovered after a short or long rest.

Terran
Human/Sorcerer
HP: 6
AC: 10
Weapon: None
Str: 0
Dex: 0
Con: 0
Int: +2
Wis: +2
Cha: +2

Cantrips:
Prestidigitation
Mage Hand
Ray of Frost 1D8+2
Mending

1st:
Detect Magic
Burning Hands 2D6+2

@Connie
It has been a week since the dark elf monk and alchemist escaped. The Druid slipped into the form of an animal and apologized as all three left you to find their own freedoms. But one by one you hear the chattering of guards about how all three were caught and their heads out on spikes at the entrance of the Drow prison to persuade people against escape attempts. You yourself have been playing for Queen Drydara, a half Drow half giant spider woman that is said to be the ancestor of Lolth, but you feel like your time is coming... Soon. On this night you see a half Orc and human brought into the cell across from you, maybe these two are the key to your escape.

@Thraat
No shame in being bested in a fight, those three Drow came out of no where! One with a sword, one with a bow, and one with a wand! You smashed the two first guys up but magic has always been your weakness and you find yourself in a cell across from a human woman, where is your tribe? Where is your axe?? Where are you??? It is incredibly dark and you can barely see. But in the cell with you is a punt human... You can smell him, mmmmmm human, you have heard human isn't half bad tasting and boy are you hungry.

@Terran
Born with magics beyond your years you have been studying at the School of Healm just outside the town of Phospherous, through your studies about the extinct race of dragons you believe that an ancient Draconic umbilical cord may be hidden in the southern peaks of the Deathmarch Mountains. You take a few other students with you but after hearing warnings of Drow the students wait for you in the small town of Yinmish. You scoff at them and venture into the mountains alone, that's the last memory you have before you wake up in a very dark cell with a half Orc! What happened?

((woops we forgot to dish our backstories
Let us do that in PM soonish))

Terran, having only briefly stopped in that school, considers that maybe he should have heeded that warning.
He looks around, seeing a large orc.

"Wow, you're a true flesh and blood orc, are you? I've never seen one, in truth. Do you know where we are?"
He examines his situation. Is he chained down? How big is the cell? Does he still have his personal belongings?

"Well, I see you two are awake, my name's Connie, I'm a bard. Who're you two?"

((shit)) "Well, I see you two are awake, my name's Connie, I'm a bard. Who're you two?"

Thraat allowed a sigh to escape his lips and glanced in the direction of Connie's voice. "Thraat." He then leveled a look at the human sharing his cell and shrugged.

((You guys are so good at this))

"Well then, you're as knowledgeable as I.
No matter. I'll have us out of this cell in no time."

Are they bars or just like a door or what man i need info

@Connie
Your Lyre is with you and you have a bit finer cloths then before, gifted by the Drow Nobles.

@Thraat
Being in small spaces makes you wanna smash stuff.

@Terran
You have nothing on you exept raged trousers and a ragged shirt same as the Half Orc, there is an odd collar around your next locked. Roll Inteligence Check.

((Please keep in post order or at least one post each before I go, thanks.))

"So, how'd you all end up here?"

Thraat contemplated the withered rat carcass on the floor. In an attempt to ignore any omens that spring to mind from that rat he grunted out a reply. "Drow. I got outnumbered."

@Connie
You can't see the two across the hall as it is too dark but you hear the voice of an Orc yelling that he himself has the entire prison, no the entire underground city outnumbered... There is no response.

@Thraat
You were very intimidating, you assume someone will be along shortly to open your cell.

@Terran
The collar is preventing you from casting spells! You try to take it off but it is as if needles inside the collar and stabbing into you as you pull at it. Next to you the half Orc yells something, it isn't going to work of course.

((Please don't tell me how my character interprets what others say unless magic is involved, or say what their tone is when you aren't playing the character in question, and the punctuation speaks for itself.))

"Huh, I was playing at a tavern and got drugged. Last few prisoners that were here with me tried to escape and left me, least one apologized, so it's been a while since I've gotten to talk to anyone. I've heard from the guards that they got their heads all put on pikes for their trouble too. Meanwhile I've been playing for Queen Drydara when not in my cell here."

Your interpretation of what I said couldn't be father from the truth, I coulda told Terran that Orcish flesh smelled good and he wouldn't feel threatened, he'd know how hungry he was opposed to seeing an ally. But you guys play it your way, next time don't waste a DM's time by being ungreatful and quick to freak out over litterally nothing. We got even less done then what happened in the last attempt, and still I hear no hate from Thraat so I wish him a good day. But I'm really disappointed in you guys, but what can I do? Oh well.

The Drow enter and kill their prisoners, "peace out bros."

Dictating what a character feels (being in closed spaces makes you want to smash), followed by thraat considering cannibalism (which thraat wouldn't do, as booperdooper told me) seems to me like you ARE telling thraat what to feel. This sentiment is shared by her player, who told us as much but didn't want to come into conflict with you.

Plus, being trapped in cells with no ostensible way to get out does not make for a fun session. It makes for a bland, restrictive one. What do we do? We simply have to wait until your NPCs come along and let us go. This is a puzzle with no answer other than "the GM will solve it."

While I respect you for trying to run a session like this, I think you went about it the wrong way and are confused on what it means to be a Dungeon master. Being a dungeon master is to be in absolute control of the game, but you are spinning a story for the player's and your own amusement. Being able to smell a human, and smelling a human and thinking "boy i might just eat this guy" are two very different things. The former, an objective fact, is what a DM should say. The latter is something that a character and their player may think. Mentioning that would be akin to stating "This woman is very attractive," vs "You find that woman very attractive." It is making assumptions about a character that very well may be outright wrong.

You assume things about our characters without regard to their personality or backstory as was obviously stated.

I really, really wanted this to work. I was going to talk to you and give you constructive criticism on how to GM, but I don't think you're willing to listen. As soon as someone asked you not to tell characters what to think you immediately got upset despite purple being polite, if a bit curt, with you. Part of being a GM is to listen to the players and addressing any issues that may arise instead of simply saying "no, you're wrong, i didn't do that." If a player FEELS that way, then you should make an effort to compromise about it.

I'm sorry this didn't work. I agree that it was a waste of time. It was a waste of time because of your ego.