Eve-of-fall wrote:
- - - wrote:
Caitlyn wrote:
Is this like the third thread about being ignored in this forum? Maybe if you had an actual writer name you wouldn’t be ignored?
*Shrug*
*Shrug*
I’m not sure I understand what you mean?
I've been in your situation. It's seldom any fault of one's own in truth. I'm usually a very emphatic individual and will analyse the demeanor that seemingly preceded the 'exclusion' but in truth, you can never know. Even if they tell you to your face of their reasons, you can't know –I know them telling you would provide a closure of knowing, but it's better to self-impose ignorance and move on. Don't dwell, that is what hurts. Ask them one time, then say '**** it', you don't need them to confirm your existence.
Not to interject here but you cannot use the F word in the forums. You should definitely edit your post and change it to four **** or another word to avoid getting a message about it from a moderator.
I'm sorry you're feeling ignored. It's happened to me a few times and it definitely sucks. I can assure you people care about you and you'll find some people who will really stick around eventually. 
I, unfortunately, am incredibly guilty of ignoring. It never comes from a place of malice-- "I don't feel like replying right now," or "I can't think of anything interesting to follow that at the moment" are my biggest reasons, and I just... forget. And then it's been a week adn I remember but at a really inopportune time, and then it's been a month, and then it's just... too late.
I can't imagine why someone would just... drop out of an RP and unfriend you, though... that seems like they had an underlying issue that they were afraid to confront you about... I'm sorry about that. :C
I can't imagine why someone would just... drop out of an RP and unfriend you, though... that seems like they had an underlying issue that they were afraid to confront you about... I'm sorry about that. :C
Sorry about your loss. I myself am used to waiting for other to respond but rarely do they seem to have the time. It's understandable but frustrating nonetheless. I was in an rp for about roughly a week and since then my chances of getting a reply are next to none at this rate. If you wanna chat just PM me. I might not be on later in the afternoon though I certainly will be available this evening when I return home from my girlfriends place.
Quote:
Communication shouldn’t be that hard.
Except it is.
No, really, I'm serious. Getting others to do things with you when you're both "that different" is an art. O.O
Meanwhile you can be "like someone else" yet they'll make every excuse to hold back with your happiness. What fears have they experienced to cause their tongues to be silent? They sure won't tell you unless you gain their trust or somehow pry it out of them which can lead to said trust (or lose it if you're not careful).
Then there's having to explain "you" and "your reasons". Which no one else can do.
Not to mention the fact that it needs to be established that you're a person before a character. Because, you know, if someone sees you as "just a character" they have a tendency to sideline you. Other things matter too of course but so do I. Simple as.
And this isn't even getting into the fundamentals of how everyone is human and has emotions and how the negatives must be accepted to make the best of things and more easily lead to positive events. What that basically means is that a lot of people try to lose themselves in happiness alone, which, ironically, is counterproductive to long term happiness (and hence roleplay too, for the most part). You're human. You WILL fall out with everyone you know at some point. Close company, roleplay partners, it all applies. Have a good enough plan and you can turn the worst of arguments around and get to the fun and even intimate moments much much faster. As opposed to having to endure weeks or months or bad events gnawing away at your mind.
Everyone has their own approach but ultimately it all boils down to the same thing. And a balance needs to be struck. Now do I find it easier then most to explain things to others? Yes. But it IS a hard earned talent and skill and requires both being brave and persistent. And the sad truth is in this day and age a lot of people either let their fear get the better of them (which leads to silence and lack of communication for a number of reasons) or otherwise feel like "most people aren't worth the effort". Personally I like to think a lot are, even if a some aren't. Either way communication can be balls out difficult as hell if you're already having bad communication in other areas, for whatever number of reasons. Which isn't to say the person that stopped communication is bad at it. Maybe they just had to deal with others that are and it sends them into a quiet phase. It even happens with me, hard as that may be to believe. Though for my part I only "quiet down" with people that are aware of me and vice versa. Doesn't have to be a bad thing and can still enjoy a movie night or something.
There's a lot of factors at play when it comes to communication. Especially when people feel like they might be a burden when they're not or feel like they have to hide who they really are when in the end that's all who they can be. And that kind of thing is VERY common. To even pretend it's simple is naive. It not only affects the people themselves and how you interact with each other, it also affects what you can post with each other.
Now the real question is if it's worth the effort to get to know someone well enough to the point where you can post anything with them. Do you go along with "bad plot" in the interest of reaching a later net gain of "fun times"? Was that even discussed? Do you just "wing it"? In my experience having a rough plan and then winging and then planning again and so on and so forth tends to get the best results. Be it roleplay or other activities. It's the whole being aware thing. Baring plot twists due to sudden muse/inspiration.
Taramafor wrote:
Quote:
Communication shouldn’t be that hard.
Except it is.
No, really, I'm serious. Getting others to do things with you when you're both "that different" is an art. O.O
Meanwhile you can be "like someone else" yet they'll make every excuse to hold back with your happiness. What fears have they experienced to cause their tongues to be silent? They sure won't tell you unless you gain their trust or somehow pry it out of them which can lead to said trust (or lose it if you're not careful).
Then there's having to explain "you" and "your reasons". Which no one else can do.
Not to mention the fact that it needs to be established that you're a person before a character. Because, you know, if someone sees you as "just a character" they have a tendency to sideline you. Other things matter too of course but so do I. Simple as.
And this isn't even getting into the fundamentals of how everyone is human and has emotions and how the negatives must be accepted to make the best of things and more easily lead to positive events. What that basically means is that a lot of people try to lose themselves in happiness alone, which, ironically, is counterproductive to long term happiness (and hence roleplay too, for the most part). You're human. You WILL fall out with everyone you know at some point. Close company, roleplay partners, it all applies. Have a good enough plan and you can turn the worst of arguments around and get to the fun and even intimate moments much much faster. As opposed to having to endure weeks or months or bad events gnawing away at your mind.
Everyone has their own approach but ultimately it all boils down to the same thing. And a balance needs to be struck. Now do I find it easier then most to explain things to others? Yes. But it IS a hard earned talent and skill and requires both being brave and persistent. And the sad truth is in this day and age a lot of people either let their fear get the better of them (which leads to silence and lack of communication for a number of reasons) or otherwise feel like "most people aren't worth the effort". Personally I like to think a lot are, even if a some aren't. Either way communication can be balls out difficult as hell if you're already having bad communication in other areas, for whatever number of reasons. Which isn't to say the person that stopped communication is bad at it. Maybe they just had to deal with others that are and it sends them into a quiet phase. It even happens with me, hard as that may be to believe. Though for my part I only "quiet down" with people that are aware of me and vice versa. Doesn't have to be a bad thing and can still enjoy a movie night or something.
There's a lot of factors at play when it comes to communication. Especially when people feel like they might be a burden when they're not or feel like they have to hide who they really are when in the end that's all who they can be. And that kind of thing is VERY common. To even pretend it's simple is naive.
In other words this is a matter of free will.
damnationfromafar wrote:
I'm sorry you're feeling ignored. It's happened to me a few times and it definitely sucks. I can assure you people care about you and you'll find some people who will really stick around eventually.
Thank you, that's very kind of you. I feel like I have yet to find a handful of them, but I'll hope it happens.
Verainne wrote:
I, unfortunately, am incredibly guilty of ignoring. It never comes from a place of malice-- "I don't feel like replying right now," or "I can't think of anything interesting to follow that at the moment" are my biggest reasons, and I just... forget. And then it's been a week adn I remember but at a really inopportune time, and then it's been a month, and then it's just... too late.
I can't imagine why someone would just... drop out of an RP and unfriend you, though... that seems like they had an underlying issue that they were afraid to confront you about... I'm sorry about that. :C
I can't imagine why someone would just... drop out of an RP and unfriend you, though... that seems like they had an underlying issue that they were afraid to confront you about... I'm sorry about that. :C
And I completely understand that - it's happened to me as well, but I usually send out a 'hey, i'm really sorry I forgot to reply, do you still want to continue the roleplay?' or something along the lines of that.
Exactly and it has never happened to me before, so I'm a bit split about if I should try to contact them again - because that would be the 4th or 5th time where I write to them, and most likely won't get a reply from them
Astroshroom wrote:
Sorry about your loss. I myself am used to waiting for other to respond but rarely do they seem to have the time. It's understandable but frustrating nonetheless. I was in an rp for about roughly a week and since then my chances of getting a reply are next to none at this rate. If you wanna chat just PM me. I might not be on later in the afternoon though I certainly will be available this evening when I return home from my girlfriends place.
It doesn't bother me much if I have to wait a bit for a response, as it's better than not getting any at all. I would just prefer to know why people feel like they have to ignore me, because it hurts a lot and it's not very motivating
Taramafor wrote:
Quote:
Communication shouldn’t be that hard.
Except it is.
No, really, I'm serious. Getting others to do things with you when you're both "that different" is an art. O.O
Meanwhile you can be "like someone else" yet they'll make every excuse to hold back with your happiness. What fears have they experienced to cause their tongues to be silent? They sure won't tell you unless you gain their trust or somehow pry it out of them which can lead to said trust (or lose it if you're not careful).
Then there's having to explain "you" and "your reasons". Which no one else can do.
Not to mention the fact that it needs to be established that you're a person before a character. Because, you know, if someone sees you as "just a character" they have a tendency to sideline you. Other things matter too of course but so do I. Simple as.
And this isn't even getting into the fundamentals of how everyone is human and has emotions and how the negatives must be accepted to make the best of things and more easily lead to positive events. What that basically means is that a lot of people try to lose themselves in happiness alone, which, ironically, is counterproductive to long term happiness (and hence roleplay too, for the most part). You're human. You WILL fall out with everyone you know at some point. Close company, roleplay partners, it all applies. Have a good enough plan and you can turn the worst of arguments around and get to the fun and even intimate moments much much faster. As opposed to having to endure weeks or months or bad events gnawing away at your mind.
Everyone has their own approach but ultimately it all boils down to the same thing. And a balance needs to be struck. Now do I find it easier then most to explain things to others? Yes. But it IS a hard earned talent and skill and requires both being brave and persistent. And the sad truth is in this day and age a lot of people either let their fear get the better of them (which leads to silence and lack of communication for a number of reasons) or otherwise feel like "most people aren't worth the effort". Personally I like to think a lot are, even if a some aren't. Either way communication can be balls out difficult as hell if you're already having bad communication in other areas, for whatever number of reasons. Which isn't to say the person that stopped communication is bad at it. Maybe they just had to deal with others that are and it sends them into a quiet phase. It even happens with me, hard as that may be to believe. Though for my part I only "quiet down" with people that are aware of me and vice versa. Doesn't have to be a bad thing and can still enjoy a movie night or something.
There's a lot of factors at play when it comes to communication. Especially when people feel like they might be a burden when they're not or feel like they have to hide who they really are when in the end that's all who they can be. And that kind of thing is VERY common. To even pretend it's simple is naive. It not only affects the people themselves and how you interact with each other, it also affects what you can post with each other.
Now the real question is if it's worth the effort to get to know someone well enough to the point where you can post anything with them. Do you go along with "bad plot" in the interest of reaching a later net gain of "fun times"? Was that even discussed? Do you just "wing it"? In my experience having a rough plan and then winging and then planning again and so on and so forth tends to get the best results. Be it roleplay or other activities. It's the whole being aware thing. Baring plot twists due to sudden muse/inspiration.
I think you misunderstood my point of this; I understand that communication can be very hard for some people and for different reasons, which I don't have control over. This forum was made so I could rant and get my feelings out, and hopefully get confirmed that my feelings are valid and I'm not crazy for feeling like I do.
- - - wrote:
Astroshroom wrote:
Sorry about your loss. I myself am used to waiting for other to respond but rarely do they seem to have the time. It's understandable but frustrating nonetheless. I was in an rp for about roughly a week and since then my chances of getting a reply are next to none at this rate. If you wanna chat just PM me. I might not be on later in the afternoon though I certainly will be available this evening when I return home from my girlfriends place.
It doesn't bother me much if I have to wait a bit for a response, as it's better than not getting any at all. I would just prefer to know why people feel like they have to ignore me, because it hurts a lot and it's not very motivating
Fair enough. Everytime I post a topic or thread I never get a response. If I join a conversation it dies. Its as if I am the executioner or something.
Astroshroom wrote:
- - - wrote:
Astroshroom wrote:
Sorry about your loss. I myself am used to waiting for other to respond but rarely do they seem to have the time. It's understandable but frustrating nonetheless. I was in an rp for about roughly a week and since then my chances of getting a reply are next to none at this rate. If you wanna chat just PM me. I might not be on later in the afternoon though I certainly will be available this evening when I return home from my girlfriends place.
It doesn't bother me much if I have to wait a bit for a response, as it's better than not getting any at all. I would just prefer to know why people feel like they have to ignore me, because it hurts a lot and it's not very motivating
Fair enough. Everytime I post a topic or thread I never get a response. If I join a conversation it dies. Its as if I am the executioner or something.
I can totally relate to that feeling, it just seems like as soon as I have said something, everybody else looses interest in the conversation
- - - wrote:
Astroshroom wrote:
- - - wrote:
Astroshroom wrote:
Sorry about your loss. I myself am used to waiting for other to respond but rarely do they seem to have the time. It's understandable but frustrating nonetheless. I was in an rp for about roughly a week and since then my chances of getting a reply are next to none at this rate. If you wanna chat just PM me. I might not be on later in the afternoon though I certainly will be available this evening when I return home from my girlfriends place.
It doesn't bother me much if I have to wait a bit for a response, as it's better than not getting any at all. I would just prefer to know why people feel like they have to ignore me, because it hurts a lot and it's not very motivating
Fair enough. Everytime I post a topic or thread I never get a response. If I join a conversation it dies. Its as if I am the executioner or something.
I can totally relate to that feeling, it just seems like as soon as I have said something, everybody else looses interest in the conversation
All the more reason for me to continue my existence as an existential loner. I try to contribute but said contribution might be deemed worthless.
I think I just found my personal clone. lol
Astroshroom wrote:
- - - wrote:
Astroshroom wrote:
- - - wrote:
Astroshroom wrote:
Sorry about your loss. I myself am used to waiting for other to respond but rarely do they seem to have the time. It's understandable but frustrating nonetheless. I was in an rp for about roughly a week and since then my chances of getting a reply are next to none at this rate. If you wanna chat just PM me. I might not be on later in the afternoon though I certainly will be available this evening when I return home from my girlfriends place.
It doesn't bother me much if I have to wait a bit for a response, as it's better than not getting any at all. I would just prefer to know why people feel like they have to ignore me, because it hurts a lot and it's not very motivating
Fair enough. Everytime I post a topic or thread I never get a response. If I join a conversation it dies. Its as if I am the executioner or something.
I can totally relate to that feeling, it just seems like as soon as I have said something, everybody else looses interest in the conversation
All the more reason for me to continue my existence as an existential loner. I try to contribute but said contribution might be deemed worthless.
I think I just found my personal clone. lol
Yeah, it definitely isn't motivating. Especially if it happens time on time
People do feel more anonymous on forums as opposed to their personal social media, and therefore it seems more permissible for them to be rude or flaky. If a person finds they simply don't like me, but would rather ghost me than telling me that, I may think of them as being a bit of a rude person, but I still believe they have the right to do so if they don't like me and don't wish to confront me.
I have ghosted people out of fear for my safety in the past, and while I hope I never make anyone else feel like they have to fear for their safety, I wouldn't want to be pushy and make that person feel like I'm after them, which is largely the reason I am of the opinion that I am. Sure, ghosting can be rude, but it has its utility.
I have ghosted people out of fear for my safety in the past, and while I hope I never make anyone else feel like they have to fear for their safety, I wouldn't want to be pushy and make that person feel like I'm after them, which is largely the reason I am of the opinion that I am. Sure, ghosting can be rude, but it has its utility.