Hello
I adore one of my roleplay partners and their writing style - it's great and their character matches mine very well. While that's really nice and I truly am thankful, they used to reply pretty often and now, if I'm lucky I might recieve 1 or 2 replies each week. They have assured me that they're still interested in the roleplay and such, but I would like them to reply more often - simply because of how much I love the roleplay (and we have some ideas that I would have liked to match up with real life, so fx some things that should happen in the fall, but irl we're in winter - I really hope that makes sense). How do I tell them so without pressuring them?
I adore one of my roleplay partners and their writing style - it's great and their character matches mine very well. While that's really nice and I truly am thankful, they used to reply pretty often and now, if I'm lucky I might recieve 1 or 2 replies each week. They have assured me that they're still interested in the roleplay and such, but I would like them to reply more often - simply because of how much I love the roleplay (and we have some ideas that I would have liked to match up with real life, so fx some things that should happen in the fall, but irl we're in winter - I really hope that makes sense). How do I tell them so without pressuring them?
If you've asked for more replies before, it may be rude to press again. Especially since it's the holidays and people are often quite busy.
But if this is the first time you want to breach the issue, just...say it, I suppose. Assure them you aren't mad or upset--I assume you aren't--and you do enjoy their replies. But mention that you would like them more frequently if possible. Just be open the possibility that it may not be something they can do--whether it's IRL, a lack of muse, other RPs to attend to, etc.
But if this is the first time you want to breach the issue, just...say it, I suppose. Assure them you aren't mad or upset--I assume you aren't--and you do enjoy their replies. But mention that you would like them more frequently if possible. Just be open the possibility that it may not be something they can do--whether it's IRL, a lack of muse, other RPs to attend to, etc.
Kidd wrote:
If you've asked for more replies before, it may be rude to press again. Especially since it's the holidays and people are often quite busy.
But if this is the first time you want to breach the issue, just...say it, I suppose. Assure them you aren't mad or upset--I assume you aren't--and you do enjoy their replies. But mention that you would like them more frequently if possible. Just be open the possibility that it may not be something they can do--whether it's IRL, a lack of muse, other RPs to attend to, etc.
But if this is the first time you want to breach the issue, just...say it, I suppose. Assure them you aren't mad or upset--I assume you aren't--and you do enjoy their replies. But mention that you would like them more frequently if possible. Just be open the possibility that it may not be something they can do--whether it's IRL, a lack of muse, other RPs to attend to, etc.
Exactly - I have told them this before, where they replied they were busy. Of course I understand that and real life comes before roleplay.
Since it's the holidays and such, I'm worried that writing to them about it may come off as rude, so I'm considering asking them if they in th efuture would give me a heads-up, if they know they won't reply for a while, sometime in january.
I consider 2-3 times a week to be pretty frequent, personally, and I'd be pretty stressed if there were greater expectations than that on me on a regular basis...
Aside from being the holidays, slowdowns are pretty natural, especially if you've gotten past the introductory phase where the characters are getting to know each other and the initial situation. Things may pick back up, and they may not. If they do, it may only be in spurts. If this is a problem for you, I'd recommend getting another game going so you can get a better fill of RP rather than counting on one partner to fill your needs. You've already been polite about inquiring in after more, it seems, so finding more partners would be the natural next step.
Aside from being the holidays, slowdowns are pretty natural, especially if you've gotten past the introductory phase where the characters are getting to know each other and the initial situation. Things may pick back up, and they may not. If they do, it may only be in spurts. If this is a problem for you, I'd recommend getting another game going so you can get a better fill of RP rather than counting on one partner to fill your needs. You've already been polite about inquiring in after more, it seems, so finding more partners would be the natural next step.
I recommend phrasing this from your side. Instead of saying "You should send more replies every week", say "I've been enjoying our RP immensely and would really enjoy posting more frequently with you! Do you think that's possible?"
Expressing your wishes and asking your partner if they can and want to compromise with you is always respectful and low pressure, it leaves an open dialogue for your partner to communicate about what's going on to the extend they feel comfortable with. If you know your partner can get stressed out feeling pressured, reassure them that you're inquiring only. Your goal is to figure out what's possible and take it from there.
I wish you the best of luck!
Expressing your wishes and asking your partner if they can and want to compromise with you is always respectful and low pressure, it leaves an open dialogue for your partner to communicate about what's going on to the extend they feel comfortable with. If you know your partner can get stressed out feeling pressured, reassure them that you're inquiring only. Your goal is to figure out what's possible and take it from there.
I wish you the best of luck!
As someone who generally posts upwards of four or more times a day to each rp, upwards of 10+ times a day especially in the summer, essentially putting out 20-50 replies all together each day and usually recieving the same; I understand how frustrating not getting many replies can be. But like you said it is the holidays. I agree with sanne on what you should say and that you should probably wait until after the holidays to message them about it.
My general response rate has over the holiday gone from 20 all together a day at min to some days only one person posts once that day so I only post one time. It just happens.
My general response rate has over the holiday gone from 20 all together a day at min to some days only one person posts once that day so I only post one time. It just happens.
Novalyyn wrote:
I consider 2-3 times a week to be pretty frequent, personally, and I'd be pretty stressed if there were greater expectations than that on me on a regular basis...
Aside from being the holidays, slowdowns are pretty natural, especially if you've gotten past the introductory phase where the characters are getting to know each other and the initial situation. Things may pick back up, and they may not. If they do, it may only be in spurts. If this is a problem for you, I'd recommend getting another game going so you can get a better fill of RP rather than counting on one partner to fill your needs. You've already been polite about inquiring in after more, it seems, so finding more partners would be the natural next step.
Aside from being the holidays, slowdowns are pretty natural, especially if you've gotten past the introductory phase where the characters are getting to know each other and the initial situation. Things may pick back up, and they may not. If they do, it may only be in spurts. If this is a problem for you, I'd recommend getting another game going so you can get a better fill of RP rather than counting on one partner to fill your needs. You've already been polite about inquiring in after more, it seems, so finding more partners would be the natural next step.
I wrote 1 - 2 times a week if I’m lucky, which means that that is the maximum of replies I get from them, currently. Some weeks I don’t receive any, but I’m sorry if I failed to explain myself
I am looking for more roleplay partners but it seems a bit difficult, but I think it’s fair to blame the holidays
Sanne wrote:
I recommend phrasing this from your side. Instead of saying "You should send more replies every week", say "I've been enjoying our RP immensely and would really enjoy posting more frequently with you! Do you think that's possible?"
Expressing your wishes and asking your partner if they can and want to compromise with you is always respectful and low pressure, it leaves an open dialogue for your partner to communicate about what's going on to the extend they feel comfortable with. If you know your partner can get stressed out feeling pressured, reassure them that you're inquiring only. Your goal is to figure out what's possible and take it from there.
I wish you the best of luck!
Expressing your wishes and asking your partner if they can and want to compromise with you is always respectful and low pressure, it leaves an open dialogue for your partner to communicate about what's going on to the extend they feel comfortable with. If you know your partner can get stressed out feeling pressured, reassure them that you're inquiring only. Your goal is to figure out what's possible and take it from there.
I wish you the best of luck!
Ooh, this is such a great idea, I love it!! Thank you!
damnationfromafar wrote:
As someone who generally posts upwards of four or more times a day to each rp, upwards of 10+ times a day especially in the summer, essentially putting out 20-50 replies all together each day and usually recieving the same; I understand how frustrating not getting many replies can be. But like you said it is the holidays. I agree with sanne on what you should say and that you should probably wait until after the holidays to message them about it.
My general response rate has over the holiday gone from 20 all together a day at min to some days only one person posts once that day so I only post one time. It just happens.
My general response rate has over the holiday gone from 20 all together a day at min to some days only one person posts once that day so I only post one time. It just happens.
It’s really nice that somebody understands; because surely, there is a life outside of the site and people get busy. That’s a fair and valid reason to not post but it’s frustrating when a roleplay partner over some weeks has begun posting less and less
Few Happens.
Dunedain-Ranger wrote:
So I have this one to where we started it a couple months ago and we’re up to seven posts. I have another one that averages seven posts in a day. Both are good RPs.
I don’t see how this has anything to do with my situation, but good for you!
I thought the topic of the thread in a public OOC forum was “Few Replies”. I have an RP with ‘few replies’ so I thought it fit.
Dunedain-Ranger wrote:
I thought the topic of the thread in a public OOC forum was “Few Replies”. I have an RP with ‘few replies’ so I thought it fit.
In the first post I think I explain that my problem isn't exactly about few replies but less replies
My opinion on this:
I feel you need to learn a little patience. Does it suck when you don't get replies very fast? Sure. But, and I do feel bad saying it this way, it comes across as you feeling you're entitled to this persons time and that's just not fair, to your partner or to you. If this person has told you that they are interested in the rp still, and they haven't given you any reason to think otherwise (i.e., when they post, the quality hasn't dropped), then you might want to give them the benefit of the doubt.
This person is a creative partner. They aren't obligated to post, and if you make them feel like they -have- to, then you are going to end up driving them away.
If you are concerned that the rp is stagnating, I'd suggest waiting until after the holidays and then, as others have suggested, talk to your partner. Start off by asking if they are doing alright. Drops in activity always have a reason, be it health, work, family, or whether or not the story is progressing in a way they are comfortable with. You need to be open and honest with this person, you need to be sincere, and you need to be patient. This likewise goes for your partner: Collaborative writing is a two way street, and your partner needs to give you the same respect.
In that vein, remember that rp is about give and take. Would you rather have a rushed story to fit IRL seasons, or enjoy fleshing out the story with the care and love that it deserves? RP is about using imagination. If its not winter anymore IRL but it makes sense for it to still be winter in the story, then focus on the story, not real world seasons. Forcing something to match something else will hinder the story. Further, it might make your rp partner feel backed into a corner, which does a lot to ruin ones creative flow and, as a result, will cause rp to falter and post speed to diminish.
You need to talk to your partner about what you hope to accomplish in the rp, but then acknowledge that you are okay if it doesn't happen. And take the time to ask what they want to see happen.
In the end, however, I feel like worrying over how frequent people post will do more damage, not just to the story but to the writing relationship you two have. And this is coming from a place where I have waited -months- for someone to post back to a scene. When you focus on the person before the entertainment? It generally always ends well.
I feel you need to learn a little patience. Does it suck when you don't get replies very fast? Sure. But, and I do feel bad saying it this way, it comes across as you feeling you're entitled to this persons time and that's just not fair, to your partner or to you. If this person has told you that they are interested in the rp still, and they haven't given you any reason to think otherwise (i.e., when they post, the quality hasn't dropped), then you might want to give them the benefit of the doubt.
This person is a creative partner. They aren't obligated to post, and if you make them feel like they -have- to, then you are going to end up driving them away.
If you are concerned that the rp is stagnating, I'd suggest waiting until after the holidays and then, as others have suggested, talk to your partner. Start off by asking if they are doing alright. Drops in activity always have a reason, be it health, work, family, or whether or not the story is progressing in a way they are comfortable with. You need to be open and honest with this person, you need to be sincere, and you need to be patient. This likewise goes for your partner: Collaborative writing is a two way street, and your partner needs to give you the same respect.
In that vein, remember that rp is about give and take. Would you rather have a rushed story to fit IRL seasons, or enjoy fleshing out the story with the care and love that it deserves? RP is about using imagination. If its not winter anymore IRL but it makes sense for it to still be winter in the story, then focus on the story, not real world seasons. Forcing something to match something else will hinder the story. Further, it might make your rp partner feel backed into a corner, which does a lot to ruin ones creative flow and, as a result, will cause rp to falter and post speed to diminish.
You need to talk to your partner about what you hope to accomplish in the rp, but then acknowledge that you are okay if it doesn't happen. And take the time to ask what they want to see happen.
In the end, however, I feel like worrying over how frequent people post will do more damage, not just to the story but to the writing relationship you two have. And this is coming from a place where I have waited -months- for someone to post back to a scene. When you focus on the person before the entertainment? It generally always ends well.
To be clear, speaking up is good, and there is no shame in asking how best to try to improve a situation which is causing distress. Yes, sometimes the best answer is to learn to accept things, but even then, asking can help a person get advice on how to better do that, too.
To that I won't deny. RP is all about communication, and to suggest otherwise would be shooting yourself in the foot. However, coming at that conversation like you're -owed- the other persons time, that is where I feel there's a problem.
To me, that is how the phrasing of the original post comes across, and that on its own is something I was trying to stress as a thing not to do in my reply. Talk to your rp partners, yes. Absolutely. Don't talk to them like they owe you anything. And if things don't go the way you want, be prepared and willing to accept it.
To me, that is how the phrasing of the original post comes across, and that on its own is something I was trying to stress as a thing not to do in my reply. Talk to your rp partners, yes. Absolutely. Don't talk to them like they owe you anything. And if things don't go the way you want, be prepared and willing to accept it.
My apologies dashes. I see the context of this thread is all about your communication and desires.
Jenn covers this issue quite well here.
Jenn’s Wise Words
Jenn wrote:
To that I won't deny. RP is all about communication, and to suggest otherwise would be shooting yourself in the foot. However, coming at that conversation like you're -owed- the other persons time, that is where I feel there's a problem.
To me, that is how the phrasing of the original post comes across, and that on its own is something I was trying to stress as a thing not to do in my reply. Talk to your rp partners, yes. Absolutely. Don't talk to them like they owe you anything. And if things don't go the way you want, be prepared and willing to accept it.
To me, that is how the phrasing of the original post comes across, and that on its own is something I was trying to stress as a thing not to do in my reply. Talk to your rp partners, yes. Absolutely. Don't talk to them like they owe you anything. And if things don't go the way you want, be prepared and willing to accept it.
Jenn covers this issue quite well here.
Novalyyn wrote:
To be clear, speaking up is good, and there is no shame in asking how best to try to improve a situation which is causing distress. Yes, sometimes the best answer is to learn to accept things, but even then, asking can help a person get advice on how to better do that, too.
Thank you for this!
Good to be careful with phrasing, yes, as good intentions with bad phrasing can still cause a lot of trouble! Some things can be really hard to figure out how to phrase right, though. It is good to bring attention to poor phrasing so we can all improve our communication skills, just be cautious about ending up sounding too accusatory yourself.
In addition to what Sanne mentioned about putting things from your own perspective, it can also be helpful to openly state benefit of the doubt. For example, instead of "you saying x sounds like y," adding a few keystrokes for something like, "I'm not sure if you intended it, but when you say x, it sounds to me like y." People can better explain themselves and listen more willingly when it doesn't sound like an accusation or attack.
Seriously, I screw this up a lot. Always working on getting better!
In addition to what Sanne mentioned about putting things from your own perspective, it can also be helpful to openly state benefit of the doubt. For example, instead of "you saying x sounds like y," adding a few keystrokes for something like, "I'm not sure if you intended it, but when you say x, it sounds to me like y." People can better explain themselves and listen more willingly when it doesn't sound like an accusation or attack.
Seriously, I screw this up a lot. Always working on getting better!
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