Forums » Fantasy Roleplay » Trixie's Bar (Everyone welcome)

" Ba-Hah, Nonsense, I was merely showing this er... young citizen... the workings of a chainsword, never know when her hive may come under siege after all, as it is said, familiarity with the imperial weaponry distinguishes a living conscript from a dead one.

Aleksandr dismissed the concerns as he lit up his lho-pipe, casting wispy smoke into the air before returning to the matter of conversation

" And to even consider the preposterous and heretical notion that , I , Lord General Aleksandr Von Drakenfell have any gains to be made in threatening this quaint yet innocent being what who bumbles about this establishment with no true purpose for their being... it is not like, I , Lord General Aleksandr Von Drakenfell , would seek the cleaving of heads and by virtue of the advance technologies vested to us by the imperium see it transplanted onto a suit of ancient powered armor with meticulous servitor programming involved in order to ensure complete and unquestionable loyalty... for I, Lord General Aleksandr Von Drakenfell would never consider such a thing.

An awkward pause then settled against the tavern horde, giving him strange gazes.

A-hah... I... uh... I mean no harm... I assure you... I do not intend to use the chainsword on anyone in this vicinity.... Anyhow, ahem.

He then turned his gaze to Arpatia

" Private ! Excellent work on the field, your fervor and performance in battle has been relayed to me by Martellan, please, join me, grab yourself a cup of recaf. Naturally, the example of leadership you set forward entitles you to investiture, I am considering promoting you to sergeant, which will put you in command of the men you did battle with, however, this will come with an extended suite of training operating the vox and auspex array, as commander you will be relegated the ability to utilize imperial support elements including valkyrie strafes and artillery strikes in order to better consolidate your position on the battlefield, mind you, as you have proven your utility... I consider it worthwhile to put you in the thick of the action rather than the auxiliary role, even though the artillery regiments had expressed an interest in recruiting you on account of your flawless coordination of a mortar team, however, your role is better served on the battlefield... naturally this comes with a thousand throne bonus and access to the sergeant's mess. "

With the compliment, she saluted the Lord General out of respect. She nodded as she joined him for a cup of recaf. Hearing the promotion, it made her smile with excitement. 'Sergeant,' she thought as she considered the new rank befitting her prowess on the battlefield. Hearing everything he had to say about her new role and the fact she now would be more than just a private, it excited her even more. She finally got the courage to speak as she said, "Sergeant would be my pleasure. I will not let you down. For being recruited, I feel it isn't right. I am right on the battlefield commanding our soldiers and making sure they come out alive," she said as she stared at him as she sat there.

"And being able to have access to the sergeants mess is a honor, Lord General. I will do you no fail. This is war, and I will take it to the degenerates and the orks. I will see to it that they fear me every time I come into battle," she said as she had now a stern look upon her face as she took some time with the recaf. Everything said was being absorbed in her mind as she knew she had to learn quick or die on battle. It was matter of killing or be killed. This was her calling. She was hoping he would promote her, and she would have honor.

"Only a sergeant? I guess I shouldn't talk, I was only a "Lieutenant" for a while anyway."

He stepped out of the dish room obviously tired. He threw his hand towel over his shoulder.

"The holiday rush is always stressful, eh Mathius?" Gustavo said while Brick can be seen in the background scrubbing some pots and pans.

Makes angry wasp noises in her corner.

"WHAT !?"

"Very much so. How are ya, Gustavo?"

"Doing well, thanks."

"As am I."

Xueqing deadpanned.

A while later, she sighed. "Some coke around? i know this is technically not good for my teeth but still"

"In the kitchen. Theo brought some Coke Zero, but I'm not sure he wants anyone touching those or Andrew's Diet Pepsi."

"Guess I'll just ask them, heh."

She shrugged, and went to sit down on a random sofa.

Then, she reached her right hand to her waist, taking the void bag previously put there, then opened it.

An otherworldly pink light emerged from the bag. She extended her hand into it, and quickly took out - a screwdriver kit, a screw kit, some PCBs with holes, a chip kit, some wires, some tin, a device for heating up and melting said tin, and a powerful battery.

It seemed like she was going to make something.

"Mine's the Zero Sugar Pepsi, actually."

He brought Xueqing a plush bone and sat it in front of her.

Noticing the plush bone, Xueqing gave a warm smile to Thor.

Then, she took out more things. Some circuit graph, some sort of measurement tool, a... photo? And some resistor, some diodes, some capacitors, stuff...

With all these, she started working on whatever she planned to do...

Revs up the chainsword for no particular reason.

" Hrmn... it needs oil "

Xib eyes go two-way again. Left eye study softbacks. Right eye count plates. Mammals weird. They love big squishy chest-pillows, then act like they not notice them. No extra nerve-string neither. One brain. One panic. Thunk too hard. But Xib never see mammal outthunk bonk with log-on-head. Dumdums always in rush to go nowhere. Not slow. Not wise. Not patient like Turzien.

“Bah…” Xib belch. Big proud belch. Snot bubble pop from nostril like tiny balloon. One eye blink. Other eye blink later. Late blink. Like it miss the joke. Xib wiggle throat. Fold-flesh go clap clap. Old bog habit. Kick mozzies out air. He reach behind shell, scratch scratch with stubby digits. Tail is short. Stubby nub. Not much to wag. Still scratch good.

Then he drag his LOG. Real log. Big wood. His bonker. His weapon. It scrape along bar like grumpy tree. Skrk. Skrk. Everybody hear it and pretend they not hear it. Xib stare at nomnoms on mammal plates. Meat. Bread. Greens that look like they already give up on life. Still nomnoms though. Belly go rumbly like swamp drum.

“Me have rumbly. Me eat…” Xib thunk hard. Thunk so hard he almost hear brain squeak. But then problem. No shiny circle money. Mammals love shiny circle more than not-dying. Weird math. Xib pat pouch. Empty. He click snapper. Clak clak clak. Tongue flop out beak, long and wild, like it trying to steal a sausage by itself.

He pull out shiny rock. Not best rock. Medium rock. Still shiny if you squint and believe. “Me trade, yes?” Xib say, pointing with log like polite threat. “Me give shiny rock. You give leafy. Or bread. Or meat. Me no greedy. Me just rumbly.” He pause. One eye look at plate. Other eye look at mammal face. “Mammal say no, Xib do sad face. Very sad. Then this one maybe bonk table by accident. Oops.”

Xueqing is too concentrated in making some sort of electronic device to notice this...

Her hands moved swiftly. Right then, she was pieceing the full circuit - from one piece, to the PCB, then to another piece. Resistors, chips, diodes, capacitors, LED... What was being put together looked indecipherable at first...

Xib might notice this one young individual minding her own business.

Xib make approach with maximum noble. Meaning Xib walk slow-slow so flatbacks thunk, Xib lift chin like it carrying royal air in throat. Xib drag log like it ceremonial cane of authoritation. Skrk. Skrk. Xib stop and lift it little, because scraping noise is not dignifical. It be very peasant. Xib is Lord now. Sort of. Allegedly. Xib see young flatback at table. Hands go quick-quick. Spider quick. Table full of tiny shiny bits. Little square bug-rock. Little bead-eggs. Little wire noodles. All stuck to green plank like swamp leaf that forgot how to be soft.

Xib cough once. Important cough. The cough that say, “Make room. Titles arriving.” “Ah-hem. Salubriations,” Xib announce in Big Words Voice. “It be this one. Kan-Xib-Yui. The Log. Noble-ility in the legalistical sense. War-veterinarian of the White Sand unpleasantness. Bridge-guardian of reputations. Xib come for… intelligents and other brain-thunks.” Xib nod at her work like Xib understand. Xib do not understand. But nod is free. Nobles do many nods.

“You are… assembulating an electro-nomical contraptionary,” Xib say, pointing with stubby digit still having mud credential under nail. “Very techno-ritualistic. You put metal beetles on board. You fuse them with tiny teeth-wire. You conjure the glow-eye.” Xib point at LED. “That one is the luminational orb. Very prestigitation. Very aristocratical.” Xib lean closer. One eye watch her fingers. Other eye watch the parts like snack buffet. Tongue peek out beak. Then tongue retreat fast, like caught doing crime.

Xib narrow eyes at a resistor and decide to sound like scholar-lord. “That there is… resistible,” Xib declare. “It resist. Like shield. Like good morals.” Xib point at capacitor. “And that round egg is cap-a-sitter. It cap. It store. It hoard power like noble hoard bread. Very wisdom.” Xib point at chip. “And that square bug is the brain-slab. It do the thunking in squares. Terrifyful.”

Xib sit back on haunches, log across lap like judge-hammer of court. Court is now open. “Now,” Xib continue, voice extra fancy but still broken, “as a Lord-Adjacent Personage of municipality and veterination, this one must do the courteous inquirement.” Xib pat belly. Belly answer with rumbly. Rumbly is honest. “Can Xib eat it?”

Xib hold up hand fast. “Not you. Device. Shiny bug parts. Look crunchy. Might be edibible. Maybe taste like salt rock. Maybe taste like smart. Maybe taste like lightning. Xib is curiological.” Xib pause. Then add, solemn like law carved in mud. “Unless you want Xib to have bite of you instead. Then it be rude not to. Manners is manners. Nobility do not refusate an offering. But Xib prefer start with device bite first. Less screaming. Usually. Also less consequences.”

Xib nod once, pleased with own diplomacy. “If device not edibible,” Xib say, leaning in again, “does it do warmification? Winterwake cold is unlawful to shell folk. Maybe your thingie do thermifications. Like tiny sun trapped in green plank. If it make warm, Xib approve and maybe cuddle it for civic morale. If it make zap, you pre-warn Xib so this one can do dignified flinch. Not peasant flinch. Big difference.”

Xib gesture grandly with the log like it scepter and not bonk-stick. The log remain humble royalty. “Xib cannot read. Xib cannot write,” Xib confess like noble tragedy. “But Xib can observe your circuituary. Lines go here. Power go there. Glow go there. Catastrophes go… somewhere. This one feel it in shell. Premonitional vibration.”

One eye blink. Other eye blink late. Late blink always. “So. Tell Xib, in simple words for noble person. It snack? It heater? It bitey? It explodey? It summon demon in box?” Xib whisper last part like secret. “And if it explode,” Xib add, very confidential, “this one will say Xib prognosticated it. That is what lords do. Very foresightful. Very… prophecious.” He burped.

"Sir!" piped up as she looked at Aleksandr. "I can get you the oil for the chainsword," she said as she stared at the other denizens of the tavern.