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I'm not sure if this bothers anyone besides myself, but, since it's caused me to burn out on RP 4 times now, in both tabletop and freeform games, so maybe I could use a bit of advice?

At the very least, I would like to know if I'm alone in this.

Sometimes, when I post ads or join tabletop groups, someone else has already taken the archetypes I typically play and I need to play something else. I swallow this and just deal with it, coming up with something on-the-fly because, well, there's a stigma against "being one-note" and "always playing the same thing" especially in TTRPG groups.

Maybe it's on me, and my complete lack of interest in playing characters outside my self-indulgent comfort zone, but if I run into characters in RPs who are too similar to my own, my motivation all but dies. Part of it is because I feel like there's no meaningful dynamic, but most of it is because I feel like I need to 'share' with someone else in a way that makes me feel, I don't know, like I'm in direct competition with someone else to play my role, and then the experience is completely ruined for me and I just feel resentment and antagonism toward the other player(s) in my niche instead of the validating co-op storytelling experience that RP should be.

Until very recently (Like, last month, haha) I thought this was just me being selfish, but a friend told me, in a very long conversation, that people are entitled to play characters they enjoy playing in RP so long as they aren't making anyone else uncomfortable or using their character to be a jerk. I'm not entirely sure if I agree, but I've gone from believing I'm a selfish and petty player for wanting a certain kind of experience, to being very on-the-fence about the whole thing.
I will acknowledge that it is good to step outside your comfort zone now and then, if for no other reason than that it might allow you to find another thing you actually really enjoy. But also note it's "now and then," not all the time. It's also good if that new thing is something you are actually curious about, not just something being basically assigned to you. And yes, sometimes a group will need some particular slot filled to keep things adequately rounded out, but it should be okay to ask if you can trade spots with someone (even if it's unlikely to happen), and "filling a slot" doesn't have to be filling it in a standard way.

And your friend is right. You're doing a hobby that's for fun, and you should be able to do the things you actually find fun. Obviously anything with multiple people is going to have some give and take, but that give and take should be as evenly distributed as can reasonably be done. If you give on your entire character in a game, then you should be able to expect someone else to give and make space for you in in another. And if you want to just stick to games where you can play what you want to play without it having to be a negotiation, that's fine, too! It might limit what's available to you, but it's fine to want to stick to what you enjoy.

And when it's just a case of "I can't play x because someone else is already playing x," nah. I fully get that it can feel weird and wrong and stuff, but... well, even though I like to use a variety of archetypes, if I forbade myself from using ones already in a game, I would very rarely get to play, like, at all. Besides, even two characters of the same archetype played by one person can come out remarkably different. Characters being played by different people, who are going to have their own interpretations of the archetype, are probably also going to come out pretty different. Be flavorful. :) And if you still end up being basically identical to someone? Eh, think if there's some way to play with that fact, whether that's in the game or just some OOC joke.
Aardbei wrote:
I'm not sure if this bothers anyone besides myself, but, since it's caused me to burn out on RP 4 times now, in both tabletop and freeform games, so maybe I could use a bit of advice?

At the very least, I would like to know if I'm alone in this.

Sometimes, when I post ads or join tabletop groups, someone else has already taken the archetypes I typically play and I need to play something else. I swallow this and just deal with it, coming up with something on-the-fly because, well, there's a stigma against "being one-note" and "always playing the same thing" especially in TTRPG groups.

Maybe it's on me, and my complete lack of interest in playing characters outside my self-indulgent comfort zone, but if I run into characters in RPs who are too similar to my own, my motivation all but dies. Part of it is because I feel like there's no meaningful dynamic, but most of it is because I feel like I need to 'share' with someone else in a way that makes me feel, I don't know, like I'm in direct competition with someone else to play my role, and then the experience is completely ruined for me and I just feel resentment and antagonism toward the other player(s) in my niche instead of the validating co-op storytelling experience that RP should be.

Until very recently (Like, last month, haha) I thought this was just me being selfish, but a friend told me, in a very long conversation, that people are entitled to play characters they enjoy playing in RP so long as they aren't making anyone else uncomfortable or using their character to be a jerk. I'm not entirely sure if I agree, but I've gone from believing I'm a selfish and petty player for wanting a certain kind of experience, to being very on-the-fence about the whole thing.

When I was younger I fell into this hole a lot, because I really liked playing as dark and edgy thieves/assassins/rouges. And guess what EVERYONE else wanted to also play as. These days, if I’m being honest, if I feel like someone does not have the effort to make someone unique, and in fact had a character I could consider an “archetype” that is a bad sign to me. In a free form RP however, in a table too game those archetypes I believe are nearly necessary for the ease of gameplay, trying to go to wild can make things complicated.

I have had my fair share of stereotypical characters but I have made an effort to just now be as unique as possible. I mean the last RP I did involved my character being an alien that crash landed as a child into earth, was taken in and raised by a kind Jamaican man, and then grew up to be a alien Jamaican fishermen how uses a dive suit to hide his appearance.

As I’ve gotten older I stopped getting tangled into make grounded characters that fit into some understandable archetypal role to fill. I stoped accepting creative ideas as stupid, pursuing a child like sense of wonder where you never just admit that something is bad you just commit to it and make it work.

And maybe that is at least a portion of your problem. Like I said in table too games I understand the need but in a free form RP don’t get too tangled up in these archetypes you want to fill. It’s like queuing into a game and everyone ends up going warrior, it can just happen when you focus on that kind of system. Be open to new possibilities, don’t say “my character is this guy who provides this to this team” like you would in table top. However if you still run into the problem, and you don’t want to experiment to much right out the gate I recommend two things

1) don’t be afraid to just ask them to change something. Most people arnt going to be a-holes about this and if they are, then there is a good chance you shouldn’t be playing with them in the first place. Just say “hey uh, I’m playing a mage, and you’re playing a mage…is it possible that we see if we can change his up for a better dynamic?”

Or

2) don’t get dead set on the character you want to play, and wait for them to make theirs so you can click in with what they come up with. Now, I feel like this may not be the best option because as you said you don’t like going too far from your comfort zone, but when I was into table too I had a character that fit nearly every basic role. A warrior, a Bard, a Mage, a Rouge, so on and so forth. And I was totally comfortable with hitting that random button every new okay session to fill in what needed to be filled for my friends. If we had a mage and a warrior, well you two could use some sweet tunes so here’s a bard haha. And the character comes first before the abilities too, so if say I had a mage who uses fire damage, and another character decides to create himself to be a warrior that also knows how to conjure up fire, well that’s okay, I can switch to lightening or something. He would still have the same name, motives, and story, just a different move set.

Just always keep in mind that in this particular style of writing you are working with people, and for that compromise sometimes has to be made because there is more then just you trying to have fun. It may be hard, I know it is because I have had many times of “okay well my idea was really cool but whatever let’s go with this I guess” but if you commit to just having fun with everyone and not taking everything you own too seriously, people will always remember you as being an amazing person to RP with and you will have many fun moments
Aardbei Topic Starter

SparksFly wrote:
Aardbei wrote:
I'm not sure if this bothers anyone besides myself, but, since it's caused me to burn out on RP 4 times now, in both tabletop and freeform games, so maybe I could use a bit of advice?

At the very least, I would like to know if I'm alone in this.

Sometimes, when I post ads or join tabletop groups, someone else has already taken the archetypes I typically play and I need to play something else. I swallow this and just deal with it, coming up with something on-the-fly because, well, there's a stigma against "being one-note" and "always playing the same thing" especially in TTRPG groups.

Maybe it's on me, and my complete lack of interest in playing characters outside my self-indulgent comfort zone, but if I run into characters in RPs who are too similar to my own, my motivation all but dies. Part of it is because I feel like there's no meaningful dynamic, but most of it is because I feel like I need to 'share' with someone else in a way that makes me feel, I don't know, like I'm in direct competition with someone else to play my role, and then the experience is completely ruined for me and I just feel resentment and antagonism toward the other player(s) in my niche instead of the validating co-op storytelling experience that RP should be.

Until very recently (Like, last month, haha) I thought this was just me being selfish, but a friend told me, in a very long conversation, that people are entitled to play characters they enjoy playing in RP so long as they aren't making anyone else uncomfortable or using their character to be a jerk. I'm not entirely sure if I agree, but I've gone from believing I'm a selfish and petty player for wanting a certain kind of experience, to being very on-the-fence about the whole thing.

When I was younger I fell into this hole a lot, because I really liked playing as dark and edgy thieves/assassins/rouges. And guess what EVERYONE else wanted to also play as. These days, if I’m being honest, if I feel like someone does not have the effort to make someone unique, and in fact had a character I could consider an “archetype” that is a bad sign to me. In a free form RP however, in a table too game those archetypes I believe are nearly necessary for the ease of gameplay, trying to go to wild can make things complicated.

I have had my fair share of stereotypical characters but I have made an effort to just now be as unique as possible. I mean the last RP I did involved my character being an alien that crash landed as a child into earth, was taken in and raised by a kind Jamaican man, and then grew up to be a alien Jamaican fishermen how uses a dive suit to hide his appearance.

As I’ve gotten older I stopped getting tangled into make grounded characters that fit into some understandable archetypal role to fill. I stoped accepting creative ideas as stupid, pursuing a child like sense of wonder where you never just admit that something is bad you just commit to it and make it work.

And maybe that is at least a portion of your problem. Like I said in table too games I understand the need but in a free form RP don’t get too tangled up in these archetypes you want to fill. It’s like queuing into a game and everyone ends up going warrior, it can just happen when you focus on that kind of system. Be open to new possibilities, don’t say “my character is this guy who provides this to this team” like you would in table top. However if you still run into the problem, and you don’t want to experiment to much right out the gate I recommend two things

1) don’t be afraid to just ask them to change something. Most people arnt going to be a-holes about this and if they are, then there is a good chance you shouldn’t be playing with them in the first place. Just say “hey uh, I’m playing a mage, and you’re playing a mage…is it possible that we see if we can change his up for a better dynamic?”

Or

2) don’t get dead set on the character you want to play, and wait for them to make theirs so you can click in with what they come up with. Now, I feel like this may not be the best option because as you said you don’t like going too far from your comfort zone, but when I was into table too I had a character that fit nearly every basic role. A warrior, a Bard, a Mage, a Rouge, so on and so forth. And I was totally comfortable with hitting that random button every new okay session to fill in what needed to be filled for my friends. If we had a mage and a warrior, well you two could use some sweet tunes so here’s a bard haha. And the character comes first before the abilities too, so if say I had a mage who uses fire damage, and another character decides to create himself to be a warrior that also knows how to conjure up fire, well that’s okay, I can switch to lightening or something. He would still have the same name, motives, and story, just a different move set.

Just always keep in mind that in this particular style of writing you are working with people, and for that compromise sometimes has to be made because there is more then just you trying to have fun. It may be hard, I know it is because I have had many times of “okay well my idea was really cool but whatever let’s go with this I guess” but if you commit to just having fun with everyone and not taking everything you own too seriously, people will always remember you as being an amazing person to RP with and you will have many fun moments

So your advice is to basically do what I've been doing this entire time: Swallow what I actually want and play something that either fills a niche or something "unique" enough that nobody else could possibly overlap with it?

I'm not sure you understand what my problem is if that's what you're offering, and since I've already stated what my general reply to this mentality is in my OP, I'm not going to repeat it for your benefit.
Zelphyr wrote:
I will acknowledge that it is good to step outside your comfort zone now and then, if for no other reason than that it might allow you to find another thing you actually really enjoy. But also note it's "now and then," not all the time. It's also good if that new thing is something you are actually curious about, not just something being basically assigned to you. And yes, sometimes a group will need some particular slot filled to keep things adequately rounded out, but it should be okay to ask if you can trade spots with someone (even if it's unlikely to happen), and "filling a slot" doesn't have to be filling it in a standard way.

And your friend is right. You're doing a hobby that's for fun, and you should be able to do the things you actually find fun. Obviously anything with multiple people is going to have some give and take, but that give and take should be as evenly distributed as can reasonably be done. If you give on your entire character in a game, then you should be able to expect someone else to give and make space for you in in another. And if you want to just stick to games where you can play what you want to play without it having to be a negotiation, that's fine, too! It might limit what's available to you, but it's fine to want to stick to what you enjoy.

And when it's just a case of "I can't play x because someone else is already playing x," nah. I fully get that it can feel weird and wrong and stuff, but... well, even though I like to use a variety of archetypes, if I forbade myself from using ones already in a game, I would very rarely get to play, like, at all. Besides, even two characters of the same archetype played by one person can come out remarkably different. Characters being played by different people, who are going to have their own interpretations of the archetype, are probably also going to come out pretty different. Be flavorful. :) And if you still end up being basically identical to someone? Eh, think if there's some way to play with that fact, whether that's in the game or just some OOC joke.

One of the ways I found an archetype I enjoy playing was because I wanted to play in a game that didn't really have space for my normal ones, though as you noted already, it was my choice and not something anyone forced on me. I was very curious about playing out something I don't normally do.

Having said that... The reason I find it so frustrating to play with characters who overlap with my own is because of how we compete for space even if we aren't intending to. This isn't just about whether or not the 3 rogues in the party of 5 can all do the same jobs, but about how the rest of the characters interact with yours, and how yours feels in relation to theirs.

Example: A key component of edgy rogues is that nobody understands them. If you have two in the party though, that gets a bit comical, and might even make the character look like they're being childish or impudent for not opening up to the one other person in the group who should be able to understand them. It waters down what the dynamic is actually supposed to be for both characters in the larger group. If a component of a character is isolation, and part of their arc is learning to connect with other people, then having someone else in the group who is very similar to them would make me first ask the question, "Why don't they just talk to each other then?"

And you could say, "Well, that can still be a part of their arc though." Sure, if two broody characters have very different reasons for how they became this way, then sharing in their individual trauma or grief might be a component of healing as much as forming bonds with brighter characters might, but that does still amount to a different overall party dynamic than if there was just one edgy brooder.

And that's really why I shy away from playing something similar to someone else. I don't like how it changes the party dynamic, and know it would cheapen the experience for me. This is especially frustrating when I want to play kids. There is simply a different party dynamic in a group of say, 1 kid and 4 adults than a group of 2 kids and 3 adults. Having said that, I don't think it necessarily breaks what I'm hoping to get out of it if there's more than one child character if only because there's way more room for variation with that. (One kid who's bright and adventurous vs one who's shy and easily frightened, and I've played both these types so I can pivot between them as I need...)

However... I have been in the incredibly frustrating situation before where I've been in games where four participants are playing children, and at that point... It was pretty hard to avoid the overlap. I don't know why, but my experience on this site is that child characters attract other child characters, and if I had a nickel for every time I've been in groups with more kids around my main's age than adults, I'd have 2 nickels. (Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.)

Anyway, my solution to all this has become to be very picky and just tell people what I want up-front. Unfortunately, I've learned the hard way that being a "team player" to the point that I was will just make me burn out. It isn't really fair to the people I play with, and it isn't fair to me. It's a bit unfortunate in how it limits me, but I have too finite an amount of energy to not look for things I enjoy. "No game is better than a bad game" is a pretty common quote around the TTRPG space for a reason.
I want to readily admit that there are likely many things I'm not going to understand about your experiences, so please forgive me if I say something tiresome or just totally missing the point. ^^; I'm not sure any of what I'll be saying will be intended as anything other than generally mentioning my own experiences & preferences with some stuff, partly because my head is being kinda fuzzy and narrow right now. Just... felt like responding again...? ^^; (In other words, this may be a wholly useless post!)

I'm not sure if it'd be different for me in an actual TTRPG setup, since I've done so little of that, but for the RPs I do, I crave new stuff a lot. I've noticed one area where I seem to thrive is taking familiar characters (not just mine, but familiar connections, too) and throwing something new at them. Or seeing how someone else's character will react to assorted characters of mine. Mm... the "familiar characters" thing is probably pretty relatable to the preferred archetypes thing. The main difference I think I'd argue might be there is that a lot of what I like about it is the ongoing growth and development of one individual, while the archetype character arc thing makes me think of functionally telling the same story over and over. Then again, yeah, sometimes I am just interested in exploring how different minor details could have impacted the overall thing, and a technically different character in a different game with a different crew is inherently going to go a little... well, differently. XD

'Course, if you're actually getting repeats of the dynamics you're not so interested in and having trouble getting the dynamics you actually want, like, ever... yeah, that's pretty understandably frustrating.

With some archetypes, like broody rogues, I think it can be entirely reasonable for the similar characters to still not communicate well even if they have pretty much the same issues and background. I know that I, as a person, pretty regularly have trouble communicating adequately with people I already know I have lots in common with, even though I've also had a little of what could be considered as formal training in communicating. You take a couple broody, distrustful rogue types, I'd think that nine times out of ten, they'd likely end up with more trouble trusting each other than trusting others in the group, since they know how bad others like them can be. (The thing to relate that keeps coming to mind is the stereotype of the dad who distrusts any guy being anywhere near his daughter.) Still changes the dynamic, yeah, though in this case, that could potentially be a reinforcement rather than a weakening. The tension could make both more broody and even harder for the rest of the party to understand (could even be that both thinks they have to "protect" the party from the other one); or maybe it allows a more stark contrast between one who enters a healing/redemption arc sooner and the other who's clammed up even tighter and/or ends up moving into an even darker path.

And on the other hand, with broody rogues who do manage to relate to each other... I've gotten to follow that dynamic on a path that actually turned romantic pretty early on, and it was pretty fascinating. They absolutely still had their issues, and their dynamic with each other would swing hard between overtly toxic relationship and just the sweetest, most perfectly (for what was needed) supportive thing, and it took them a long time to start reaching a bit more of a healthy balance. They even had some remarkably similar issues, but frequently handled them in different ways (that, in my opinion, again emphasized via the contrast).Meanwhile, their dynamics with others was mostly unchanged, and the biggest difference was probably just that they tried to hide their relationship at first for various reasons, and yeah, those who found out about it pretty quickly found both... slightly more relatable. But both were still seen as strange and frighting in their own ways individually, plus potentially nightmarish when functioning together as a unit.

Hm... my child characters don't get much attention in general, but of the attention & play they have gotten, very little of it has been with other children. And hey, that works fine for me, since I favor age gap dynamics when kids are involved. A big one, of course, is the "adult with issues now suddenly has to take care of a kid who inadvertently makes the adult work through their issues" thing. Even in the times there's been multiple kids with limelight, in the games I've been in, there's usually still been some age difference or similar aspect to create a caretaker/cared-for dynamic in some form (and in the ones I've had, the specific details often meant those roles would sometimes flip back and forth between the kids; and they also usually still involved at least one adult being like "they're cute and I must protec, but the heck do I do with them?"). And, hm... the child characters I've had much experience with have actually all been pretty different, even if only by differences in degree of a shared trait. Then again, it probably helps when the kids aren't all being played by different people; one person with multiple kids in play is already going to be incorporating differences, usually even when using twins.

Yeah, think I'm just rambling about my own experiences.

But! Your solution seems like a solid one, I think. :) And that's probably the only important thing here. XD Hopefully it works out well for you, and you get to have much more fun going forward!
Been feeling chatty today, so I'm going to add my two cents while openly admitting this may be another worthless post haha.

I actually have more experience in the tabletop/in-person setting than this online one, so I feel like I understand a little bit of where you are coming from. If I am being honest, the vast majority of games/stories I have participated in have landed me solely in the role of healer whenever I am being a "team player" and filling a slot. No one wants to be the cleric apparently. Or maybe it's the whole "wholesome blonde" trope being active in real life.

I have had mixed results with this. Sometimes I end up finding a fun niche character style within the assigned role, (War Cleric of Sekhmet for the win) and sometimes it has been entirely tiresome. (As you mentioned previously) So I agree with some parts of what have been said that you deserve some inherent level of enjoyment from your hobby.

I have also had a couple groups that have gone the complete other direction and leaned in HARD to the missing archetypes. Dialing it up to 11 so to speak. This has resulted in some seriously fun and off the wall experiences. We all wanted to be tough barbarians, so we were all tough barbarians. That had to survive in a very principled high-brow setting. It ended up being something like if someone allowed Goblins to be crewmembers on the Starship Enterprise. Pawning powerful magic amulets we couldn't use to fuel our never-ended need for healing potions and seeing who could withstand the biggest hit without being outright flattened. Tons and tons of fun.

So that could be another potential option. To borrow from the previous example, you want to play a broody rogue, but the other two people are also broody rogues? Why not make it so the three of you are conspiracy fueled friends out to tear down the deep-state that poisoned your hometown? Whole new bag of challenges that you wouldn't normally come across. Take all the edgy and point it in a unified direction towards the "big bad" that fits your narrative. Plan heists on authoritarian oligarchs. Expose corrupt city officials. Embody the proof that "Ideas are Bulletproof" (100 points to anyone that gets that reference without looking it up)

That solution definitely takes some outside the box thinking and a little more effort to make work, but it has the benefit of removing most of the reasons for overlap burnout that you mentioned. (Specifically the watering down of inter-character dynamics) If you and the other character are willing to communicate and do a little leg-work then you can come up with some really fantastic options. I would recommend finding a way to get them on the same (or similar) footing so they can start solidly on the same side. That smooths the path and allows for a strong start as well as helping you both feel important and involved. If the story starts to diverge from there and you end up on more opposing sides, you'll have the backstory and character mindset much more determined to allow that the best chance of working as well.

As for the kids part. That's just hard. I feel you there. I have nothing against kids, but the presence of even one drastically alters the entire trajectory. Sort of like they do in real life haha. (Kidding/not kidding/god help me I am terrified of children)

This would be mostly conjecture from this point as I have always been in groups that essentially outlaw child characters. But I know that there are a couple TTRPG systems devoted specifically to child characters played by adults. (Tales From The Loop being probably the best/most relevant) I am sure it would take real work, but a blend of the rules from there may be of benefit to other existing rulesets. It would likely take a few attempts, but could be possible.

As for the online stuff.... I hate when bad things happen to kids. So in all of my stories they are basically protected by "main character shields". Whatever happens, they will end up safe and sound once it is all over. I am too soft-hearted for anything else. It feels like for the most part it needs to be one of those: "If one person is, everyone has to be" kind of situations.

Hopefully my ramblings contained at least a couple ideas of comfort or use to you. I can absolutely see how your position gets tiring and frustrating. And I don't think there is anything wrong with being a little picky to mitigate that. As long as it means you are still finding some enjoyment as well.


May all your journeys be long and the stories eventful.


XOXO
Cassie
Aardbei Topic Starter

Zelphyr wrote:
Hm... my child characters don't get much attention in general, but of the attention & play they have gotten, very little of it has been with other children. And hey, that works fine for me, since I favor age gap dynamics when kids are involved. A big one, of course, is the "adult with issues now suddenly has to take care of a kid who inadvertently makes the adult work through their issues" thing. Even in the times there's been multiple kids with limelight, in the games I've been in, there's usually still been some age difference or similar aspect to create a caretaker/cared-for dynamic in some form (and in the ones I've had, the specific details often meant those roles would sometimes flip back and forth between the kids; and they also usually still involved at least one adult being like "they're cute and I must protec, but the heck do I do with them?"). And, hm... the child characters I've had much experience with have actually all been pretty different, even if only by differences in degree of a shared trait. Then again, it probably helps when the kids aren't all being played by different people; one person with multiple kids in play is already going to be incorporating differences, usually even when using twins.

Yeah, think I'm just rambling about my own experiences.

But! Your solution seems like a solid one, I think. :) And that's probably the only important thing here. XD Hopefully it works out well for you, and you get to have much more fun going forward!

Don't worry about offense. My previous irritation was at the reply that did not seem to read what I said and basically read like "Well, that sounds like a you problem." You haven't done that to me, so we're fine.

Dynamic in age is what I look for with kids, but I've only really found that in a serious RP... once. What you describe between a kid and adult as your favorite is actually mine as well. I had an ad going for exactly that. It was one of the few examples that attracted this problem though, but I don't want to rag on any one specific person and at the time, it was my fault for agreeing, and not necessarily their fault for approaching me. (Although, why in God's name would you approach someone you know has a very similar character to yours? Maybe I just don't understand some peoples' playstyles...)

I suppose "dynamic" is a good descriptor for what I look for in general though. I figured it was a given that everyone sought out. I question that now...
fullmarvelalchemist wrote:
Been feeling chatty today, so I'm going to add my two cents while openly admitting this may be another worthless post haha.

I actually have more experience in the tabletop/in-person setting than this online one, so I feel like I understand a little bit of where you are coming from. If I am being honest, the vast majority of games/stories I have participated in have landed me solely in the role of healer whenever I am being a "team player" and filling a slot. No one wants to be the cleric apparently. Or maybe it's the whole "wholesome blonde" trope being active in real life.

I have had mixed results with this. Sometimes I end up finding a fun niche character style within the assigned role, (War Cleric of Sekhmet for the win) and sometimes it has been entirely tiresome. (As you mentioned previously) So I agree with some parts of what have been said that you deserve some inherent level of enjoyment from your hobby.

I have also had a couple groups that have gone the complete other direction and leaned in HARD to the missing archetypes. Dialing it up to 11 so to speak. This has resulted in some seriously fun and off the wall experiences. We all wanted to be tough barbarians, so we were all tough barbarians. That had to survive in a very principled high-brow setting. It ended up being something like if someone allowed Goblins to be crewmembers on the Starship Enterprise. Pawning powerful magic amulets we couldn't use to fuel our never-ended need for healing potions and seeing who could withstand the biggest hit without being outright flattened. Tons and tons of fun.

So that could be another potential option. To borrow from the previous example, you want to play a broody rogue, but the other two people are also broody rogues? Why not make it so the three of you are conspiracy fueled friends out to tear down the deep-state that poisoned your hometown? Whole new bag of challenges that you wouldn't normally come across. Take all the edgy and point it in a unified direction towards the "big bad" that fits your narrative. Plan heists on authoritarian oligarchs. Expose corrupt city officials. Embody the proof that "Ideas are Bulletproof" (100 points to anyone that gets that reference without looking it up)

That solution definitely takes some outside the box thinking and a little more effort to make work, but it has the benefit of removing most of the reasons for overlap burnout that you mentioned. (Specifically the watering down of inter-character dynamics) If you and the other character are willing to communicate and do a little leg-work then you can come up with some really fantastic options. I would recommend finding a way to get them on the same (or similar) footing so they can start solidly on the same side. That smooths the path and allows for a strong start as well as helping you both feel important and involved. If the story starts to diverge from there and you end up on more opposing sides, you'll have the backstory and character mindset much more determined to allow that the best chance of working as well.

As for the kids part. That's just hard. I feel you there. I have nothing against kids, but the presence of even one drastically alters the entire trajectory. Sort of like they do in real life haha. (Kidding/not kidding/god help me I am terrified of children)

This would be mostly conjecture from this point as I have always been in groups that essentially outlaw child characters. But I know that there are a couple TTRPG systems devoted specifically to child characters played by adults. (Tales From The Loop being probably the best/most relevant) I am sure it would take real work, but a blend of the rules from there may be of benefit to other existing rulesets. It would likely take a few attempts, but could be possible.

As for the online stuff.... I hate when bad things happen to kids. So in all of my stories they are basically protected by "main character shields". Whatever happens, they will end up safe and sound once it is all over. I am too soft-hearted for anything else. It feels like for the most part it needs to be one of those: "If one person is, everyone has to be" kind of situations.

Hopefully my ramblings contained at least a couple ideas of comfort or use to you. I can absolutely see how your position gets tiring and frustrating. And I don't think there is anything wrong with being a little picky to mitigate that. As long as it means you are still finding some enjoyment as well.


May all your journeys be long and the stories eventful.


XOXO
Cassie

I'll be honest, I've been trying to get my TTRPG group to do at least one 1-shot where we all play as bards, but nobody's bitten yet. I have no idea why they don't want to play as the best class in the game but I guess not everyone is converted to the enlightened path of talking your way out of every combat encounter. XD

As a GM though, I've run into the majority of my players wanting to play characters so similar that they overlapped mechanically and I had to ask them to please diversify otherwise it'd be a real headache for me to balance. (This was a system I was also new to running a full campaign in...)

Anyway... Yeah, I run into that stigma a lot when I want to play kids, even people wanting to play in POKEMON settings will outlaw children, and I lose all interest at that point because Pokemon is not supposed to be dark. (Everyone sure makes it that way though...) I do run some TTRPGs that are meant to be more like saturday morning cartoons where everyone plays younger characters and the overall tone is more light, and there are absolutely systems for it. But when I'm a player, I often have to compromise by playing the lowest age threshold allowed. This isn't something I can change peoples' minds on and I don't really try. If my characters aren't compatible with their games, that's just how that works out sometimes.

I generally don't mind talking to people about what they want and expect from games. There's just a few things that I really wish I didn't need to budge on as often as I do, and I've had to learn to either stand my ground or leave instead of drag out an unpleasant experience for the sake of being accommodating. I'm also not as inflexible a player as I come off in here, but I've had to bend on what I want so often by this point that I'm just tired of it.

I also think I will be more keen on branching out if I ever actually get to use any of my characters for a full game at least once. I guess time will tell if the 1 game I'm in falls through, but if it manages to complete, it'll be the first time. Says nothing of the character I made for the Pokerole tabletop system 2 years ago and have never found a game for...
Aardbei wrote:
Don't worry about offense. My previous irritation was at the reply that did not seem to read what I said and basically read like "Well, that sounds like a you problem." You haven't done that to me, so we're fine.

Dynamic in age is what I look for with kids, but I've only really found that in a serious RP... once. What you describe between a kid and adult as your favorite is actually mine as well. I had an ad going for exactly that. It was one of the few examples that attracted this problem though, but I don't want to rag on any one specific person and at the time, it was my fault for agreeing, and not necessarily their fault for approaching me. (Although, why in God's name would you approach someone you know has a very similar character to yours? Maybe I just don't understand some peoples' playstyles...)

I suppose "dynamic" is a good descriptor for what I look for in general though. I figured it was a given that everyone sought out. I question that now...

The apology was mostly because I was aware I might have been making a pointless post. ^^; Glad to know I haven't bothered you any, though. :)

Contrasting characters definitely usually seems best for actually getting interactions going between the characters, so long as it doesn't end up being such a major divider that they'd only interact if forced. I've run into that a few times, and them I'm just like... now what? But yeah, even though it's not usually a conscious thing, I do look for characters with contrasting aspects to help build up more of a dynamic.

But... every now and then, I'll find cases where it's actually the similarities that set the foundation, like in the rogues example I mentioned. There were still contrasts in specific details, like skill specialization (one was an assassin/mercenary, the other was functionally a cutthroat drug dealer, different battle tactics, etc), ways of coping with their emotions and handling problems, and so on. So enough differences for them to both have a part to play, but it was their massive similarities that actually allowed them to work together (once they got to a point where they could see each other as pretty reliable). Also had a pair that went the opposite way - both very cheery and naive, both functionally pacifists, both having strong music themes. Once again, it was the similarities that made them fit so well and, not really either being drama-making sorts, focus on how they took on their adventure together. I guess in that case, though, it can be argued that the contrast was idealists vs. a less-than-ideal world (not, like, super dark, just... problems do exist and some people can be jerks kinda thing).

Still, working with matching characters, especially if there aren't any contrasting ones around, can still definitely be really tricky. Something has to cause friction somewhere.

By the way, with some of the things you've mentioned... I'd like to suggest reaching out to ConnanBell. He's always having trouble finding more light-hearted and silliness-based stuff, and finds it extremely difficult yo get any games for his toon characters. And he's got an adult Pokemon trainer who's a lovable idiot. >.> A lovable idiot who has, on occasion, found himself suddenly responsible for kids.

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