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Forums > RP Discussion > Enjoyment vs Obligation

This is a simple yet somehow complicated, espeically mentally/emotionally, matter. Lately I am struggling between replying to RP's out of enjoyment vs obligation. I personally have so many rps and a heavy life/work set of obligations that have made it so I personally had to create a schedule of when I would reply to my rps. Now, it started as 'I'll reply on these days if I feel like.' Just something to help me not feel so over whelmed and be responsible when it came to focusing on my livelihood and self-care.

However for some of the rps it's started to turn into a obligation, or I feel like 'oh it's Monday again so I have to reply' and feel like I've slipped into obligation to reply, espeically when I haven't replied in several weeks. 'It's been two weeks I have to reply.' ect.

It's confusing because for most of them I still enjoy the characters but I've lost some of the enjoyment and have to push myself more than in the past to reply. It's nothing that's happening in the RP and nothing I could ask my partners to change ect, it's simply just me feeling a personal sense of obligation instead of consistent enjoyment. Usually just because of my own loss of muse ect.

How do you deal with enjoyment vs obligation when it comes to replying to rps, and do you think it's better to just end the RP once you start feeling obligated or just push on through and hope that feeling changes?

I could probably just say this to you in Pm, but it’s an excellent question, and one I’ve gone through. I’ve wound up ghosting people (I am so sorry), because I have no muse but I’m a big chicken and don’t like confrontation. (I usually come back and apologize, but that’s besides the point)

Despite having a deep love of RPing, it’s meant to be done out of enjoyment. I look at it as a distraction from my life, but not something that takes over your life. If you’re having too much trouble with it, or you feel like you have too, despite having nothing to give, you’re gonna wind up hating it. And that would suck, because this site seems to love you.

Personally, there’s two things to do. You can drop a couple of RPs, (the ones you’re least interested in for example) to make the load easier, or you can stop completely, take a breather, and come back.

In the end, obligation doesn’t make for good stories, and it merely takes away from the fun. You’re too amazing of a writer for that. <3

If you don't want to drop RPs, try coming up with a looser schedule. I attempted the same style of schedule you currently have for a short period, where I responded to so many people per day, but it quickly felt more like a job than any sort of fun.

Currently, I've lightened my schedule to getting 2 of my oldest replies out as a definite, maybe a few more if I feel interest in doing so. Obviously change the numbers as they work for you, but having this loose obligation where i get something done but am not necessarily forced into replying like a job.

Try different schedules to see what works for you! Worst case scenario is you just go back to your old schedule.



Please also let your partners know if you want a break! So far, in my experience, saying "hey I'm not feeling this character / writing / generally good right now, I need some time, I may or may not return to this RP" is generally accepted. I've yet to have a person who responds negatively, people are generally pretty understanding. And hey, worst case scenario if you take a LONG time is messaging the person OOC to ask if they're still interested in starting the rp back up!


Anyway... I hope you can figure something out to make RP fun again for you ❤️ you always know I'll wait however long for replies in our RPs if you need a break ❤️

I think you have gotten some good advice. I would add only a little.

Sometimes the hardest person to say no to is yourself. I was in your shoes and burned out. It became an obligation instead of a treat, a special bit of decompression. So, I bit the bullet and let my partners know I needed a break and had no idea for how long. They were all, as was mentioned before, very nice about it.

So this time around, I set a limit on myself going in. No more stories than what I can count on one hand. It's hard sometimes. When you've posted to all your stories and don't have anything to do, and you look in the Looking for RP threat and see something really cool!

Once you have your stories, stay out of the looking for rp forum! LOL Come here to OOC land and make friends. The topics are always changing and can fill in those moments of in-between.

There's my two cents, for what it is worth.

I've ghosted a number of people in the past unfortunately because it does start to feel like obligation sometimes, but I've tried to take a different approach to it as of late. I can still be pretty slow sometimes myself, because in the end RP does come after everything else in life despite how much fun it might be. What's helped me lately though is to at times treat it like it's a story or a novel that I'm working on. If I wait until the muse is there for one of my own stories, the times I'd sit down to write would be few and far between and I would never finish anything. So I look at RP the same way, it's a story that I'm writing, albeit with someone else adding their part, and so I'll write my part even if I'm not feeling particularly driven to do so.

All of that said, my method ends up treating it a bit like work sometimes, not that I don't enjoy it, I usually end up feeling glad to have done it afterward and enjoying the result, but for some people that's not for them. The RPs are not some novel you're working on that you have to get out, they're meant to be fun. If you're not having any fun with it at all, then you have to ask yourself if you should stop. Because what matters is what works for you. If this is just supposed to be fun for you and you're not having fun, then you should do what makes it fun for you.

DarkCrow wrote:
If you don't want to drop RPs, try coming up with a looser schedule. I attempted the same style of schedule you currently have for a short period, where I responded to so many people per day, but it quickly felt more like a job than any sort of fun.

Currently, I've lightened my schedule to getting 2 of my oldest replies out as a definite, maybe a few more if I feel interest in doing so. Obviously change the numbers as they work for you, but having this loose obligation where i get something done but am not necessarily forced into replying like a job.

Try different schedules to see what works for you! Worst case scenario is you just go back to your old schedule.



Please also let your partners know if you want a break! So far, in my experience, saying "hey I'm not feeling this character / writing / generally good right now, I need some time, I may or may not return to this RP" is generally accepted. I've yet to have a person who responds negatively, people are generally pretty understanding. And hey, worst case scenario if you take a LONG time is messaging the person OOC to ask if they're still interested in starting the rp back up!


Anyway... I hope you can figure something out to make RP fun again for you ❤️ you always know I'll wait however long for replies in our RPs if you need a break ❤️

Thank you very much that means a lot! I am doing my best to get courage to take breaks more often in general and let people down gently. <3 our rps are some of my favorites, I'm literally almost never bored but it means a lot that I can always take a break.

InkWren wrote:
I think you have gotten some good advice. I would add only a little.

Sometimes the hardest person to say no to is yourself. I was in your shoes and burned out. It became an obligation instead of a treat, a special bit of decompression. So, I bit the bullet and let my partners know I needed a break and had no idea for how long. They were all, as was mentioned before, very nice about it.

So this time around, I set a limit on myself going in. No more stories than what I can count on one hand. It's hard sometimes. When you've posted to all your stories and don't have anything to do, and you look in the Looking for RP threat and see something really cool!

Once you have your stories, stay out of the looking for rp forum! LOL Come here to OOC land and make friends. The topics are always changing and can fill in those moments of in-between.

There's my two cents, for what it is worth.

I commend you for being able to have 5 or less rps. I did manage to whittle myself down to about three handfuls with your advice but unfortunately even two handfuls just isn't realistic for me. I'm not a big 'talk in the forums' person for personal reasons and negative past experience and only really do so a couple times a month or so, but I have plenty to talk to in PM. I'm trying to give myself some breaks more often. Thank you for your advice. <3

FleetingInfinity wrote:
I've ghosted a number of people in the past unfortunately because it does start to feel like obligation sometimes, but I've tried to take a different approach to it as of late. I can still be pretty slow sometimes myself, because in the end RP does come after everything else in life despite how much fun it might be. What's helped me lately though is to at times treat it like it's a story or a novel that I'm working on. If I wait until the muse is there for one of my own stories, the times I'd sit down to write would be few and far between and I would never finish anything. So I look at RP the same way, it's a story that I'm writing, albeit with someone else adding their part, and so I'll write my part even if I'm not feeling particularly driven to do so.

All of that said, my method ends up treating it a bit like work sometimes, not that I don't enjoy it, I usually end up feeling glad to have done it afterward and enjoying the result, but for some people that's not for them. The RPs are not some novel you're working on that you have to get out, they're meant to be fun. If you're not having any fun with it at all, then you have to ask yourself if you should stop. Because what matters is what works for you. If this is just supposed to be fun for you and you're not having fun, then you should do what makes it fun for you.

Thank you! For some rps I have to get something out for them, push myself, mostly to get through a rough patch but then the excitement comes back again. I definitely need to get better at letting go of certain ones though that just seem to be always obligation and relief after replying because then I don't need to again for a bit.

I have so much going on that I've naturally wound down to only three ongoing roleplays and only start a new scene once I've finished one. Anything more than 3-4 and I start to get overwhelmed. What helps me is only writing one reply a day and putting all of my effort into it. :D So long as your partner's don't mind waiting, it works pretty well for me! I also cycle through who I owe so it's fair for everyone.

I've been kind of losing the passion for writing with others. This seems to happen with me in waves. After a few years of expanding my co-writing RPs, I've felt a bit of retrenchment happening. I have a core few that I am staying with, but they seem to be dropping off for various and sometimes unknown reasons as well. So I'm working more on my characters and writing out some stories with them for my enjoyment. It's been a fun year here on RPR!

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Forums > RP Discussion > Enjoyment vs Obligation