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Winning Pirate Poetry

Posted by Kim on September 21, 2011, 12:04am

Ye've done me proud, me hearties. Me heart is fit to burst seein' all this poetry and sensitive type stuff. Who would've guessed our crew was so creative?

Aye, that's right: everyone woulda guessed it, and if any sez otherwise they'll be walkin' the plank in short order!

Now it be my honor to be divvyin' up the treasure that these fine poetical (and piratical) adventurers earned.

Funniest Poem

Quillweave sang us a song o' an enemy worse than ninjas. Aye, I did quake in me boots to think o' the monster in her song! And yet fer some reason I couldn't help but ter laugh...

Arr, pirate's most feared enemy,
Ain't scurvy or beasts of the sea,
'Tis bubbling broil,
And scented bath oil,
No baths fer a man 'o the sea!

Historical

This not be the first time that Ethelle has been impressin' us with her historical smarts. Arrgggh, I've never seen a pirate with so much book learnin'! Here she be tellin' the true tale o' Benjamin Horngold, whose entire crew once got so drunk they threw their hats o'er board, and the following day captured a vessel merely to steal themselves some new ones. YARRRRR, rly!

C'ptain Hornigold fear'd by most
captur'd a ship off Honduran coast
He enter'd and that's
when he demand'd their hats
and sail'd off again like a ghost

Limerick

Wolfy-T was the brave buccaneer to first storm the good ship Poetry, with a roarin' good limerick. Good show, Wolfy-T!

I once were a pirate lassie.
My pirate talk was classy.
So I pillaged and plundered about on my ship,
The Statue of Liberty's Chassis

RP Related

It be a very special touch to be writin' a poem about a scene ye've actually RPed, and that were just what Dragonfire did.

We set out bright an' bushy
From Alberta to Amatsu
To save th' place from demonry
An' some bedeviled bilge rats-u.

'Twas a calm night on th' high sea that eve,
Sailors an' saviours tucked in tight,
How else to wile th' time away
Than with weenie roasts and grog, right?

We gathered in the galley,
The scurvy mates an' me,
The grog free-flowed, our noses glowed,
A right good time had we.

When one lad piped up from th' crowd,
"Eh, Rhae, gives us a show!"
For I was the wizard aboard, y'see,
An' it wasn't a hard thing t'know.

So sez I, "Those weenies, dearie!
Give 'em here an' I'll astound yer eyes!"
An' I lit us up a roarin' fire
But there's when came th' surprise-

So grogged was I, could barely aim,
Seeking out them sausage shapes -
When a sailor lad who sought relief
From th' grog made his escape

So I spied another sausage
that had not been on my pile,
And with a snap of fingers
Sent it up in flames, in style!

Th' sailor dog was not quite so
Impressed as all the others.
In fact, he curled up in a ball
And cried out for his mother.

"Medic!" cried I, all aghast,
When I noticed what I'd done,
But they were all as grogged as us,
Keelhauled down to a one.

Th' lad, he found a bed that night
In a rainbarrel on the deck.
Th' rest of us just laughed it off-
'Cept I, feelin' as a wreck.

So, lessons, they were made that night -
A dandy one to learn.
Magicians, keep your spells t'self
When grogged, 'lest weenies burn!

Reel

Clap yer hands and find a partner, for CelestinaGrey has written the lyrics to a saucy reel to be danced on the decks! Ye may all sing along on the refrain.

Pillagin' an' plunderin', tha's what ye see,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
Ain't no place fer landlubbers like ye,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
Fine lasses an' gents will scream fer me,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
A finer crew there ne'er will be,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
Ye'll shiver yer timbers an' shake like a tree,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
We be scoutin' gold and a silver key,
When scurvy pirates sail the high sea!
A watery grave won't set you free,
When Scurvy pirates sail the high sea!

Worst Rhyming

I don't be knowin' what sort o' poem ToBeContinued penned, but by God me eyes watered and me nose hairs curled from the stench o' his rhymin'. Arrr, that smells like a winner to me! The winner o' worst rhymin' poem.

Ah be rememberin' like 'twas yesterday
It be a good mornin' at the pirate bay
I be walkin down the street, on me merry way

When all o' a sudden I be lookin' down the barrel o' a gun!
Keeulhaul me I say, this goin' ta be a bad day
Cause all this man wanted, was me rum!
Proud as I be, I turned and told him nay

To me surprise he shot me.. RIGHT IN THE BUM.



This might be a Haiku. Maybe.

And what be this sorry excuse for a haiku? Methinks darth_angelus had too much grog when he set out to be countin' the syllables. Arrggh, I would not trust him to count his paces to the X if his treasure were dependin' on it after seein' this!

Pirates ahoy,
Claimin' ye booty
they be.

I wracked me brains for a suitable prize, but methinks what he really needs is to have his dignity back after this public display o' failin' at math. Ye've got courage, man, but here ye be awarded an Honorable Mention. Consider me the Wizard o' Oz and this be the magical restoration of yer honor.

Booty!


Since there were bein' a single entry in nearly e'ery category, all the salty sea dogs who tried their hands at pirate themed poetry shall be sailin' away with three months o' Epic status and an extra character slot. Well played, me buckos!

Comments

Dragonfire

September 21, 2011
5:27pm

Yaharrr! Three cheers for yer all, mateys!

As fer me, I think me I'll stow my share o' the loot on some isle far, far away from here, keep you thievin' lot out. ;)

Wolfy-T

September 21, 2011
9:16am

Yarrrr everyone done wonderful!

CelestinaGrey

September 21, 2011
6:59am

*Latches on to the nearest lad (poor Iokua) and dances to her jaunty reel!*

Arr, I'd ne'er known me haunch for rhymin' would git me so much shiny booty! Thankye, cap'n! Them shipsailed entries put a gruesome grin on me face!

Iokua

September 21, 2011
5:56am

those were all amusing :D thanks for the smiles guys!

Quillweave

September 21, 2011
5:15am

Why, me glass eye near popped outta me skull, it did! Ye've made this pirate proud, Cap'n, and I thank ye and all my fellow swabbies for the opp'tunity. Methinks this treasure was worth losing me other foot!

Pyrroglaux

September 21, 2011
2:05am

Aye, I be buryin' this here treasure 'fore the Quartermaster sets his scurvy eyes on it, yahaharrr! And then I be figuring we rightly should break out the rum and sing jolly songs that be heard all the blasted way down to Davy Jones' Locker!

Darth_Angelus

September 21, 2011
12:28am

Arr, I be putting this booty someplace safe, where no thieving bilge rats can find it!

Thankyou, Captain :)