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FOBETEO Day 6 - Listening

Posted by Kim on December 8, 2022, 9:00am

An illustration of black woman in an old timey naval inspired costume, complete with golden epaulets. She is cupping her hand around the ear of a light-skinned elf, whispering into his ear.This isn't the last day of the Festival of Being Excellent to Each Other, but it's the last day for which I have an essay for you. It's a very simple one today, and in truth, is mostly going to be over to you.

One of the best ways to show excellence year-round is to listen to the people around you when they tell you their needs. Learn from disabled people about their disabilities. Learn from the chronically ill about their illnesses.

Don't suggest a vegan-keto-sugar-free exercise cleanse you heard from a Facebook friend as a cure-all.

Believe them when they tell you about what they are going through.

Assume that if they've been struggling with something heavy for a long time, they have tried many different things, and have a pretty good handle on what helps, what doesn't, and whether it is likely to be curable with at-home lifestyle changes or not.

That's it. That's my whole essay.
I'd like to open up the floor for folks to share a tidbit of information, or to bust a common myth, about a disability or chronic illness that they live with. We're listening.
Please, unless someone specifically asks for them, no one offer suggestions in the comments of this post. All we're doing right now is listening.


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Remember, to be eligible, a kudos needs to contain a clear "why" explaining what makes your friend so special! Don't just say "He's awesome!", tell the world what makes your friend so awesome. Click here for the complete kudos guidelines.
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Post tags: FOBETEO FOBETEO 2022

Comments

oven

December 21, 2022
1:51pm

THERE x IS x NO x TOPICAL x TREATMENT x FOR x ECZEMA

(or psoriasis)

it is an auto-immune disorder that occurs on the inside of your body and while some skin treatments* can numb or soothe the irritation largely there is absolutely nothing you can put on your skin that is going to heal or help your outbreak, and actually a lot of things will make it worse!

*unless they're a steroidal cream. are there steroids in that oatmilk? no?? then stop.

Shinyrainbowlithogra

December 11, 2022
12:58am

I guess something I'm working on is my need to be independent and good at things, to the point where I'm adding more difficulty, as if to prove to myself that I'm good at it. Like a challenge but not the good kind. Like, what if I did my dishes without music today? Which stresses me out and makes me feel bad because even if I succeed, the difficulty I did have gives me a guilty feeling.

People telling me to just do what I want makes me anxious sometimes, as much as I like to do what I want when I feel good. If I'm already anxious, the idea of shaking off my feelings and invalidating myself for the sake of a part of myself that might not know better is sorta scary.
But I also don't know if I could say I really want them to stop - sometimes people's opinions surprise me. :D

Insightful posts this week, Kim! Thank you so much for all you do every single day. You're so cool. I wuv you and all the amazing mods, U3U *internet thumbs up*

Aho

December 9, 2022
12:21pm

The myth that there's some arbitrary level where you are "disabled enough" to use a mobility aid is something I find really frustrating and harmful. I put off getting my cane for way too long because there was always this thought in the back of my head that others have it worse, I'm a young adult that should be in my "prime", or I can survive without it so I'm not "disabled enough". Walking through the grocery store for a half hour to get what I needed for the week caused me to be nearly bedridden for a few days afterwards. Once I gave in and bought my first cane, the world seemed to open up. I could go much further, over uneven ground, and feel almost normal the next day.

If a mobility aid can help improve the quality of your life even a little, do it! There's no "disabled enough". If you only need it some days, it's okay. If your health improves to where you don't need it, congratulations! Let mobility aids do their job, let them help you. Strive to improve your life however works for you, no matter what anyone else says.

Sanne

December 8, 2022
1:19pm

This probably isn't new to anyone who's known me for a while, but...

There is not a single type of diabetes out there that you can give yourself by eating certain foods, including sugar. Not type 1, not type 2, not LADA, MODY, 3c, gestational -- none of them are caused by sugar or food.

Risk factors and causes are not the same thing. Diabetes is a complex disease that involves genetic and environmental factors that increase your risks for developing it. Poor sleep and stress increase your risk for developing type 2 diabetes (at any age and weight) dramatically more than any kind of food you eat.

This includes jokes about foods causing diabetes (or diabeetus as the memes are known by). They perpetuate the myth that we caused our own disease. This myth and how it's kept alive are partially responsible for lawmakers not handling the insulin pricing crisis in the US, and it's causing people to die preventable deaths as a result.

One of my biggest wishes as a diabetic is that we stop perpetuating this myth. I am genuinely tired of people asking me if I can eat a food cause it has sugar in it, suggesting that going vegan can cure my diabetes, and that I did this to myself. I'm tired of these jokes making fun of a disease that almost got me hospitalized earlier this week when my medical device failed on me and I got really ill. It's not a joke and nobody does this to themselves.

Kim

December 8, 2022
11:30am

Thank you for sharing that, FrostWolf!

FrostWolf

December 8, 2022
9:24am

One of the many myths I've come across as living is the talk of PTSD always occurring right after a traumatic event. As someone who has seen a lot of trauma, I can attest this isn't true. I've had PTSD from 10 years old but wasn't diagnosed with it until I was 14 (Aka the age I am now) it didn't develop right after the event it can take months to years to develop PTSD and it always comes and goes. It makes it hard to know if someone actually has it as sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not. I struggle with flashbacks more than anything, but sometimes they will go away. PTSD is also commonly diagnosed as a mental illness. *Sighs* I guess I needed to rant about the myth and tell some of my experience. Any advice is gladly accepted but if you really don't know about it I ask you please don't try to help. Welp....that's all the detail I'm willing to go into. Thanks for listening.